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So there I was, writing a post about Rocky, and how a scrolling beat 'em-up featuring everyone's favourite boxers would be daft, when I discovered a new genre.
That'd be cool! No, wait...
Games that fit this particular genre are, well, it's quite self-explanatory, ideas that sound cool for a while, possible even weeks, then when it gets down to it you realise that the whole concept actually blows ponies.
As many of you won't have read that Rocky post, the one in Prime, if I've put it there yet (note to self, post other topic in Prime) then I'll give you the general idea. To make a point I came up with a game idea, Rocky's bird, Adrian, (yes, I said bird) has been captured by an evil criminal warlord. So you, you lucky gamers, you, get to take on the role of either Rocky, Apollo Creed or Clubber Lang (Drago and Tommy Gunn would also feature, but not be playable), and you get to play this scrolling beat em-up in a similar vein to Streets of Rage, punching enemies as you go along.
At this very second you are thinking "cool!"
But sooner or later, perhaps even by now you're thinking "No, wait... that would suck!" You're damn right it would suck, as the Rocky game is all about tactical boxing, not taking out wave after wave of thug with simple punches, that just wouldn't work, it would be dumb, and not at all like the films, apart from maybe Rocky 5's street fight finale, but to be honest, Rocky 5 wasn't the pinnacle of the series, was it?
The thing is, most of these games involve a licence of some sort, and there's a very real example sitting on the shelves and in the homes of impressionable youths right now. Go Go Beckham, Adventure on Soccer Island.
Developer1:"Hey, we've got the David Beckham license! Let's make a football sim!"
Developer2:"No, here's a better idea, let's make an adventure game, in which you play as Beckham, and kick balls at things!"
Developer1:"That sounds cool!"
Me:"No, wait..."
Only they didn't hear me, they actually made and went the game.
Anyway, to save developers time and money in the future, I'm going to present them some ideas that they will think are great, then, before they can go obtain the license, I'll tell them why they must never, ever, do these awful things, the kind of things that brought a platform game based on Nightmare on Elm Street, the Mortal Kombat Mythologies, Michael Jordans Adventure in the Windy City, Simpsons Wrestling and other such gaming horror stories.
Woaw, just remembered that Terminator VS Robocop game from the 16bit days.
**shudder**
Tony Hawks vs The Skate Zombies
Mr Developer1:Now that we've made 4 successful Tony Hawks games, let's make another, just the same.
Mr Developer2:No, here's a better idea, let's turn it into a bit of an adventure game, with more to do than just stunts. Let's say he has to kill some zombies, or something, using his tricks to help him!
Mr Developer1: Great idea, let's do it!
Me: No, wait...if you do this you'll have to dumb down the game you already have, and tack on this adventure that doesn't make any logical sense. The fact that you're on a skateboard all the time will mean that you're not going to be able to do the typical puzzle solving that comes in an adventure game, you'll just be fetching things on your skateboard, probably having to jump real high to get them, because that's how unimaginative you are.
Mr Developer1: Okay, let's just stick in more rails to grind on, and add more blood when he falls on his face.
Me: That's better, stick to what you know.
Christina Aguilera's Striptease Dance Beat
Pervy Developer1: I've got an idea to rival Britney's Dance beat! We use Christina Aguilera, and she'll take her clothes off if she does well.
Pervy Developer2: Excellent, I'll ring her agent!
Me: No, wait...Britney's Dance Beat wasn't actually that great, there are much better dancing games that don't feature stars, why not innovate instead, and I don't mean by adding nudity! I mean, if anyone wants to see Christina's bits she often leaves them hanging out anyway, and do you really want to be responsible for a million teenage boys injuring themselves trying to dance faster?
Developer3: How about Robocop Dance Beat then?
Beefy Saves The World
Developer1: Hey, that Ian Botham could feature in that game we've been developing, the one that really sucks!
Developer2: Are you suggesting we remodel the game to feature a famous face, just to make it sound appealing?
Developer1: Yes.
Developer2: Genius! I can see it now, you are Ian 'Beefy' Botham, and you travel around the land, picking up stumps as you go to use as currency, and you can take out enemies from range by bowling at them, or get in close and knock them for six with the bat!
Me:.......
*scratches head*
Do you really need me to stop you...?
Rocket Power
Marketing Guy: I'd like to take this opportunity to announce an exciting new project we've been working on, thanks to the exclusive deal with have signed with Ronnie O'Sullivan.
Disinterested member of the public: Oh great another snooker sim
Marketing Man: Negatory my good buddy, we've got something much more exciting lined up. Why don't you tell them about it Ronnie.
Ronnie: Well when I was a kid I had two ambitions, one was to be a famous snooker player, like what I am, and the other, well, that's what the game is all about. I wanted to be a space pilot, and shoot down alien ships.
Disinterested member of the public who is now excited member of the public: Wow!
Marketing Man: What's more, you can claim power ups to build up to a greater ship. Use the amazing combo system of red then a colour, or colours in their correct order, yellow, green, brown, blue, pink and black, for mega powered ships.
Me: Actually, that does sound cool.
.
.
.
.
Me: No, wait...
The funny thing is, when I was thinking up ideas for this thread, a shocking number of them had already been done, Antz Extreme Racing, Star Wars Bombad Racing, Shrek Swamp Speedway everyone has had a bloody racing game, Dead or Alive Volleyball, Disney Sports titles and the like. Licensed games don't always suck, but it seems to me that some developers would rather take the material, apply it to something completely irrelevant, then scratch their heads when neither games or fans of the movie/ sports star/ pop idol don't like it.
That'd be cool! No, wait...
Games that fit this particular genre are, well, it's quite self-explanatory, ideas that sound cool for a while, possible even weeks, then when it gets down to it you realise that the whole concept actually blows ponies.
As many of you won't have read that Rocky post, the one in Prime, if I've put it there yet (note to self, post other topic in Prime) then I'll give you the general idea. To make a point I came up with a game idea, Rocky's bird, Adrian, (yes, I said bird) has been captured by an evil criminal warlord. So you, you lucky gamers, you, get to take on the role of either Rocky, Apollo Creed or Clubber Lang (Drago and Tommy Gunn would also feature, but not be playable), and you get to play this scrolling beat em-up in a similar vein to Streets of Rage, punching enemies as you go along.
At this very second you are thinking "cool!"
But sooner or later, perhaps even by now you're thinking "No, wait... that would suck!" You're damn right it would suck, as the Rocky game is all about tactical boxing, not taking out wave after wave of thug with simple punches, that just wouldn't work, it would be dumb, and not at all like the films, apart from maybe Rocky 5's street fight finale, but to be honest, Rocky 5 wasn't the pinnacle of the series, was it?
The thing is, most of these games involve a licence of some sort, and there's a very real example sitting on the shelves and in the homes of impressionable youths right now. Go Go Beckham, Adventure on Soccer Island.
Developer1:"Hey, we've got the David Beckham license! Let's make a football sim!"
Developer2:"No, here's a better idea, let's make an adventure game, in which you play as Beckham, and kick balls at things!"
Developer1:"That sounds cool!"
Me:"No, wait..."
Only they didn't hear me, they actually made and went the game.
Anyway, to save developers time and money in the future, I'm going to present them some ideas that they will think are great, then, before they can go obtain the license, I'll tell them why they must never, ever, do these awful things, the kind of things that brought a platform game based on Nightmare on Elm Street, the Mortal Kombat Mythologies, Michael Jordans Adventure in the Windy City, Simpsons Wrestling and other such gaming horror stories.
Woaw, just remembered that Terminator VS Robocop game from the 16bit days.
**shudder**
Tony Hawks vs The Skate Zombies
Mr Developer1:Now that we've made 4 successful Tony Hawks games, let's make another, just the same.
Mr Developer2:No, here's a better idea, let's turn it into a bit of an adventure game, with more to do than just stunts. Let's say he has to kill some zombies, or something, using his tricks to help him!
Mr Developer1: Great idea, let's do it!
Me: No, wait...if you do this you'll have to dumb down the game you already have, and tack on this adventure that doesn't make any logical sense. The fact that you're on a skateboard all the time will mean that you're not going to be able to do the typical puzzle solving that comes in an adventure game, you'll just be fetching things on your skateboard, probably having to jump real high to get them, because that's how unimaginative you are.
Mr Developer1: Okay, let's just stick in more rails to grind on, and add more blood when he falls on his face.
Me: That's better, stick to what you know.
Christina Aguilera's Striptease Dance Beat
Pervy Developer1: I've got an idea to rival Britney's Dance beat! We use Christina Aguilera, and she'll take her clothes off if she does well.
Pervy Developer2: Excellent, I'll ring her agent!
Me: No, wait...Britney's Dance Beat wasn't actually that great, there are much better dancing games that don't feature stars, why not innovate instead, and I don't mean by adding nudity! I mean, if anyone wants to see Christina's bits she often leaves them hanging out anyway, and do you really want to be responsible for a million teenage boys injuring themselves trying to dance faster?
Developer3: How about Robocop Dance Beat then?
Beefy Saves The World
Developer1: Hey, that Ian Botham could feature in that game we've been developing, the one that really sucks!
Developer2: Are you suggesting we remodel the game to feature a famous face, just to make it sound appealing?
Developer1: Yes.
Developer2: Genius! I can see it now, you are Ian 'Beefy' Botham, and you travel around the land, picking up stumps as you go to use as currency, and you can take out enemies from range by bowling at them, or get in close and knock them for six with the bat!
Me:.......
*scratches head*
Do you really need me to stop you...?
Rocket Power
Marketing Guy: I'd like to take this opportunity to announce an exciting new project we've been working on, thanks to the exclusive deal with have signed with Ronnie O'Sullivan.
Disinterested member of the public: Oh great another snooker sim
Marketing Man: Negatory my good buddy, we've got something much more exciting lined up. Why don't you tell them about it Ronnie.
Ronnie: Well when I was a kid I had two ambitions, one was to be a famous snooker player, like what I am, and the other, well, that's what the game is all about. I wanted to be a space pilot, and shoot down alien ships.
Disinterested member of the public who is now excited member of the public: Wow!
Marketing Man: What's more, you can claim power ups to build up to a greater ship. Use the amazing combo system of red then a colour, or colours in their correct order, yellow, green, brown, blue, pink and black, for mega powered ships.
Me: Actually, that does sound cool.
.
.
.
.
Me: No, wait...
The funny thing is, when I was thinking up ideas for this thread, a shocking number of them had already been done, Antz Extreme Racing, Star Wars Bombad Racing, Shrek Swamp Speedway everyone has had a bloody racing game, Dead or Alive Volleyball, Disney Sports titles and the like. Licensed games don't always suck, but it seems to me that some developers would rather take the material, apply it to something completely irrelevant, then scratch their heads when neither games or fans of the movie/ sports star/ pop idol don't like it.
Page:
hey! I try to claw my way back up the GAD winners list to the top and then you come out with something like this. Damn you ;-)
Anyway, very good, kept me entertained that did.
Anyway, very good, kept me entertained that did.
Rabbit<>K wrote:
> Good post.Good GAD winning post.
Aw God, not another one.....
Nah, really, nice one Meka, proably will win. Great stuff.
> Good post.Good GAD winning post.
Aw God, not another one.....
Nah, really, nice one Meka, proably will win. Great stuff.
Miserableman wrote:
> I once invented a game concept based around Pinball Wrestling. I like
> the way on Wrestling games you can string combos together - thump
> someone, fling them against the ropes, catch them, throw them at one
> of the corners them body-check them, and figured that the concepts of
> pinball, where you do stunts and combos to get an increasingly high
> score could be translated onto wrestling to produce a whole new genre!
> I got through the concept, planning, artwork and was just about to sit
> down and code the game, when I remembered I'd left the bins out.
You wouldnt beleive how many times the bins been left out has hindered the development of so many games.
> I once invented a game concept based around Pinball Wrestling. I like
> the way on Wrestling games you can string combos together - thump
> someone, fling them against the ropes, catch them, throw them at one
> of the corners them body-check them, and figured that the concepts of
> pinball, where you do stunts and combos to get an increasingly high
> score could be translated onto wrestling to produce a whole new genre!
> I got through the concept, planning, artwork and was just about to sit
> down and code the game, when I remembered I'd left the bins out.
You wouldnt beleive how many times the bins been left out has hindered the development of so many games.
After reading the first paragraph, I was just about to say "Remember Streets of Rage?". Then you mentioned it.
Classic.
Classic.
I once invented a game concept based around Pinball Wrestling. I like the way on Wrestling games you can string combos together - thump someone, fling them against the ropes, catch them, throw them at one of the corners them body-check them, and figured that the concepts of pinball, where you do stunts and combos to get an increasingly high score could be translated onto wrestling to produce a whole new genre! I got through the concept, planning, artwork and was just about to sit down and code the game, when I remembered I'd left the bins out.
I'd tell you how good it was and stuff, but I've seen what suck-ups everyone else who has commented appear to be and decided against it.
It was good though
It was good though
Drdragon wrote:
> And by the way, Meka man when are you gonna stop with these great
> posts? Another gem :-D
Well I was a little quiet last month...
> And by the way, Meka man when are you gonna stop with these great
> posts? Another gem :-D
Well I was a little quiet last month...
And by the way, Meka man when are you gonna stop with these great posts? Another gem :-D
Judah Ben-Hur wrote:
> Tribue. No he shouldn't. That would be foolish.
So would misspelling his name seeing as you are dissing him.
Oh wait...
> Tribue. No he shouldn't. That would be foolish.
So would misspelling his name seeing as you are dissing him.
Oh wait...
Bloody brilliant post Meka!
Another sweet post in the forums.
Oh, the joy!
Another sweet post in the forums.
Oh, the joy!
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