Viewing Thread:
"Consul War"

the xbox is out in 2 weeks and i think it will smash gaycube wiv a stick beecos it is big and black, like my nurse but the xbox won't say "bad boy, stop making fires in the house or i'll wrap you in a carpet and throw you down the stairs again"
(i fink nurse is tryin to keel me but she wont becoz i have a gun mayde from soap and bed springs and i will blow her away wiv my gun)

the good thing about the xbox is that is big and will stop my kat from getting in my room at nite and sitting on my chest.
kats try to keel you at night by they steel your breff and then you wake up and shout "bad kat trying to keel me!" and it makes a noise like a bus slowing down and walk backwards and spit at me so i hit cat wiv fase and it runs away

i hate kats

i like the gaycube but it is very small and i lose it in my pants and i rummage for it and mum comes in and shouts "no, bad boy you will go to hell wiv loads of kats and they will scratch you and sit on your chest and steel your breff", i tell her i am not playing wiv it but trying to find my gaycube and she looks funny at me and then maykes me go stand in the corner wiv books in my hands and it hurts and kat stands there and menaces me

i fink kats mayke gaycube becos it hides from me and jump out when i walk past and get in my hair and i run about screaming and i haff to slam my fase into wall to make it go away
kats i mean, not gaycube, that wuld be styupid
hahahahaha

i fink that the xbox is best because i cant lift it but i try but its reely heavy and i poo myself from the heavy and then the kat chase me so i haff to throw my pants at kat and make it stop
but it runs away when mum comes in and she only see me wiv poo in my hand and then nurse come and give me sleepy injekshun which i like sometimes becos when i wake up i am in anuvver room wiv nice cushions on the wall and no kats

You punks.

"steel your breff" LOL, the rummaging in the pants was classic as well.

Good work fella.

I'm tempted to go home and lift progressively heavier things, just to see if it's possible to poo from heavy.

The curse of an inquiring mind...

Heh - If I was wearing a hat I'd have to take of to you Goatbay - That is great stuff.. :)

Goatboy wrote:
mum sees and she sez "no, bad boy" and throw u in the sea for the sharks and jellyfish to get

--

I know I wrote this, but I'm having an asthma attack from reading this again.

Goatboy wrote:
nurse come and give me sleepy injekshun which i like
> sometimes becos when i wake up i am in anuvver room wiv nice cushions
> on the wall and no kats
>
---

Jesus I forgot about this. Where was my head at?

Here it is. Comedy gold.

im totally lost by this topic.......

Damn, that made me laugh. I wonder if anyone actually speaks like that...

Goatboy wrote:
> i poo myself from the heavy

During the World's Strongest Man competition that was on over the New Year I saw men lifting trucks. One strained so hard his nose started to bleed.

Surely he also messed himself?

I bet they do, sometimes.

Strangely enough, yes it does.
I had to go munch nurofen last night after writing this.

Still made me laugh though.