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Law 10 – Infection: Avoid The Unhappy And Unlucky
You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.
Transgression Of The Law
Born in Limerick, Ireland, in 1818, Marie Gilbert came to Paris in the 1840’s to make her fortune as a dancer and performer. Taking the name Lola Montez, she claimed to be a flamenco dancer from Spain, but by 1845 her career was languishing so she became a courtesan and quickly became one of the most successful in Paris.
Lola decided that there was only one man who could save her dancing career, Alexander Dujarier, the owner of the newspaper with the highest circulation in France, and also the paper’s drama critic. She decided to woo him, and soon discovered that he went out riding every morning, so she herself went out riding too and “accidentally” bumped into him. Soon they were riding together every day, and only a few weeks later Lola moved into his apartment.
For a while the two were happy together, and with Dujarier’s help Lola began to revive her dancing career. Despite risking his social standing Dujarier told his friends that he was to marry Lola in the spring, although Lola hadn’t bothered to tell him she was already married but separated from her husband. Although Dujarier was deeply in love, his life began to slide downhill.
His fortunes in business changed and his friends started to avoid him. One night Dujarier was invited to a party which was to be attended by some of the wealthiest and most influential people in Paris, and although Lola wanted to go as well he would not allow it. They had a huge argument, and Dujarier went to the party by himself, but once there he got hopelessly drunk and insulted an influential drama critic over something critical he had written about Lola. The critic challenged Dujarier to a duel, and the following morning Dujarier was shot and killed. Devastated, Lola left Paris.
In 1846 she found herself in Munich, where she decided this time to woo King Ludwig of Bavaria, and she soon discovered that the best way to get to him was through his aide-de-camp, Count Otto von Rechberg, who happened to have a fondness for pretty girls. One day, when he was breakfasting at an outdoor cafe, Lola rode by on a horse and was “accidentally” thrown from the saddle, landing perfectly at Rechberg’s feet. The count jumped up and helped her to her feet, and he was immediately enchanted by her, and promised to introduce her to the king.
Rechberg arranged the meeting, but when Lola arrived in the anteroom she overheard the king saying he was far too busy to meet a favour-seeking stranger. Lola pushed her way through the sentries guarding the king, but in the process of them trying to stop her her dress became torn (it is suspected she did this herself on purpose) and she found herself standing topless in front of the king. Lola got her audience with the king, and only 55 hours later she made her debut on the Bavarian stage, and even though the reviews were terrible the king soon arranged more performances for her.
In his own words Ludwig was “bewitched” by Lola. He started to appear in public with her on his arm, and then he bought and furnished an apartment for her on one of Munich’s most prestigious boulevards. Although the king was known to be a bit of a miser, he showered Lola with gifts, and she was catapulted to fame and fortune overnight.
All of this fame and fortune went to her head however, and she started to lose her sense of proportion. One day when she was out riding an elderly man was riding too slowly in front of her, so she slashed at him with her riding crop, and on another occasion one of her dogs attacked a man, but instead of helping the man to get the dog off of him she whipped him with the leash. Incidents like this infuriated the citizens of Bavaria, but Ludwig stood by Lola and even made her a citizen of Bavaria. The king’s advisers tried to make the king come to his senses and warned him continually of the dangers of the affair, but those who dared to criticize Lola were fired.
While the Bavarians who had once adored their king now despised him, Lola was made a countess, had a magnificent palace built for herself, and even started to advise Ludwig on his political policies. Lola had such a hold over the king that she was now the most powerful person in the kingdom, and treated his ministers with disdain. As a result of all this riots broke out, and the kingdom was on the verge of falling into a civil war.
By February 1848 Ludwig was unable to withstand the pressure any longer, and with great sadness ordered Lola to leave his kingdom immediately. She agreed only to leave with a hefty payoff, which the king gave her, and even though she was now gone the Bavarian people could not forgive the king for his actions and 5 weeks later he was forced to abdicate.
Lola then moved onto England, and in order to try and gain some respectability she set her sights on George Trafford Heald, a promising young army officer who was the son of an influential barrister. Although he was 10 years younger than Lola, and could have chosen a wife from among the prettiest and wealthiest young women in English society, he fell under her spell, and even though Lola still hadn’t got a divorce from her husband the pair were married in 1849.
When it was discovered that Lola was still married she was arrested on charges of bigamy, but she skipped bail and her and Heald fled to Spain. On one occasion they had a huge argument and Lola slashed Heald with a knife, so he left her and returned to England, where he found he had lost his position in the army. Shunned by English society, Heald moved to Portugal, where he lived in poverty for a while before being killed in a boating accident.
In 1853 Lola decided to try her luck in California, where she married a man called Pat Hull, but their relationship was volatile and she left him for another man. He fell into a deep depression and turned to drink, dying 4 years later still relatively young. At the age of 41 Lola gave all her worldly riches away and turned to God, touring America and lecturing on religious matters, before dying aged only 43 in 1861.
Interpretation
Lola Montez attracted men with her wiles, but her force of character gave her great power over them. Men were sucked in and churned up by her, and even though they felt confused and upset the strength of the emotions that she had stirred up in them made them feel alive. However, the it was inevitable that problems would arise over time.
Lola’s instability would get under her lover’s skin, and even though they were drawn into her problems their emotional attachment her would make them want to try and help her. This was a crucial point, because Lola could not be helped as her problems were way too deep, and once her lover identified with them he was lost. He would find himself embroiled in huge arguments, which would spread to his family and friends, or, in the case of King Ludwig, an entire kingdom. The only solution for them was to cut her off, or suffer an eventual collapse.
The infecting-character type of person can be male or female, and it stems from an inward instability that radiates outwards, drawing disaster upon itself. There is almost a desire in these types of people to destroy and unsettle, so when you are in the presence of this type of person don’t argue, don’t try to help, and don’t try and pass the person onto your family or friends, or you will regret it. Flee the infector’s presence or suffer the consequences.
“Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look. He thinks too much, I do not know the man I should avoid so soon as that spare Cassius. Such men as he be never at heart’s ease whiles they behold a greater than themselves, and therefore they are very dangerous.” (Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare, 1564-1616)
Keys To Power
Those misfortunates among us who have been brought down by circumstances out of our control deserve all the help and sympathy that society can give them, however those people who are not born into misfortune or unhappiness, but draw it upon themselves by their destructive actions and behaviours, don’t. It would be good if we could raise them up and change their behavioural patterns, but more often than not it is their patterns of destruction that end up getting inside those who try to help them. The reason is simple – humans are extremely susceptible to moods, emotions, and even the ways of thinking of those with whom they spend their time.
The incurably unhappy and unstable have a particularly strong infecting power because their characters and emotions are so intense. They often present themselves as victims, making it difficult at first to see their miseries have in fact been self-inflicted, and before you realize the true nature of their problems you have been infected by them. You need to understand that in the game of power the people you associate with are critical, and the risk of associating with infectors is that you will waste valuable time and energy trying to free yourself, and that through a kind of guilt by association you will also suffer in the eyes of others.
There are many different kinds of infector that you need to be aware of, but one of the worst ones is the person who suffers from chronic dissatisfaction. Cassius, the Roman conspirator against Julius Caesar, had the kind of discontent that comes from serious envy, as he simply could not endure the presence of anyone who had a greater talent then he did. Probably because Caesar sensed this trait in him, he decided not to promote him to the position of first praetorship, and gave the position to Brutus instead.
Cassius brooded and brooded over this knockback, and his hatred for Caesar became totally obsessive. Brutus also disliked Caesar, as Brutus was a republican and he didn’t like the fact that Caesar was a dictator, but he had the patience to wait, as he knew that on Caesar’s death he would become the first man of Rome and would be able to undo all the evil he believed Caesar was doing to his people. However every day Cassius would bend Brutus’ ear with tales of Caesar’s evil, and after a short period of time Brutus had become infected with Cassius’ negativity towards Caesar, which ended up with Brutus stabbing Caesar to death.
There is only one solution to infection: quarantine. But by the time you recognize the problem it is often too late, so how can you protect yourself against these people? The answer lies in judging people on the effects they have on the world and not on the reasons they give for their problems. Infectors can be recognized by the misfortune they draw upon themselves, their turbulent past, their long line of broken relationships, their unstable careers, and the very force of their negative character. Be forewarned by these signs, and learn to see discontent people before they infect you. Do not get mixed up with trying to help them, as they will remain unchanged while you be sucked in and become just like them.
The other side of infection is as equally valid, as there are many people who constantly attract happiness to themselves by their good cheer, natural buoyancy, and intelligence. These people are a source of immense pleasure, and you must associate with them as much as possible in order to share in the prosperity that they draw upon themselves.
This applies to more than good cheer and success, as all positive qualities about a person can infect us. If, for example, you are miserly by nature, you will never go beyond a certain limit as only generous souls attain greatness, so associate with generous people. If you are gloomy associate with cheerful people, and if you are prone to isolating yourself associate with extroverts.
You must never, however, associate with those people who share your negative traits, as you will only reinforce each other’s beliefs and make it nigh on impossible to break them. Only create associations with people who have positive traits, and if you make this a rule of your life you will benefit greatly.
Image: A Virus
Unseen, it enters your pores without warning, spreading silently and slowly. Before you are aware of the infection, it is deep inside you.
Authority
Recognize the fortunate so that you may choose their company, and the unfortunate so that you may avoid them. Misfortune is usually the crime of folly, and among those who suffer from it there is no malady more contagious: Never open your door to the least of misfortunes, for, if you do, many others will follow in its train. Do not die of another’s misery. (Baltasar Gracian, 1601-1658)
Reversal
This Law admits of no reversal, its application is universal. There is nothing to be gained by associating with those who infect you with their misery; there is only power and good fortune to be obtained by associating with the fortunate. Ignore this Law at your peril.
My Opinion
There is a lot of truth in this Law, but the wording he uses, like comparing negative people to infecting viruses, is a bit strong. In my personal life I can honestly say that all my close friends are positive and have a bright outlook on life, and when we get together we have a really good time.
The problem I’ve found in the past is negative people at work, and you can guarantee that a few of your colleagues who you work with on a regular basis will be all doom and gloom, and it does rub off on you and make you feel down. I always try and avoid these type of people if possible, as like the Law says most of them are unable to change and just like to wallow in self-pity.
You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.
Transgression Of The Law
Born in Limerick, Ireland, in 1818, Marie Gilbert came to Paris in the 1840’s to make her fortune as a dancer and performer. Taking the name Lola Montez, she claimed to be a flamenco dancer from Spain, but by 1845 her career was languishing so she became a courtesan and quickly became one of the most successful in Paris.
Lola decided that there was only one man who could save her dancing career, Alexander Dujarier, the owner of the newspaper with the highest circulation in France, and also the paper’s drama critic. She decided to woo him, and soon discovered that he went out riding every morning, so she herself went out riding too and “accidentally” bumped into him. Soon they were riding together every day, and only a few weeks later Lola moved into his apartment.
For a while the two were happy together, and with Dujarier’s help Lola began to revive her dancing career. Despite risking his social standing Dujarier told his friends that he was to marry Lola in the spring, although Lola hadn’t bothered to tell him she was already married but separated from her husband. Although Dujarier was deeply in love, his life began to slide downhill.
His fortunes in business changed and his friends started to avoid him. One night Dujarier was invited to a party which was to be attended by some of the wealthiest and most influential people in Paris, and although Lola wanted to go as well he would not allow it. They had a huge argument, and Dujarier went to the party by himself, but once there he got hopelessly drunk and insulted an influential drama critic over something critical he had written about Lola. The critic challenged Dujarier to a duel, and the following morning Dujarier was shot and killed. Devastated, Lola left Paris.
In 1846 she found herself in Munich, where she decided this time to woo King Ludwig of Bavaria, and she soon discovered that the best way to get to him was through his aide-de-camp, Count Otto von Rechberg, who happened to have a fondness for pretty girls. One day, when he was breakfasting at an outdoor cafe, Lola rode by on a horse and was “accidentally” thrown from the saddle, landing perfectly at Rechberg’s feet. The count jumped up and helped her to her feet, and he was immediately enchanted by her, and promised to introduce her to the king.
Rechberg arranged the meeting, but when Lola arrived in the anteroom she overheard the king saying he was far too busy to meet a favour-seeking stranger. Lola pushed her way through the sentries guarding the king, but in the process of them trying to stop her her dress became torn (it is suspected she did this herself on purpose) and she found herself standing topless in front of the king. Lola got her audience with the king, and only 55 hours later she made her debut on the Bavarian stage, and even though the reviews were terrible the king soon arranged more performances for her.
In his own words Ludwig was “bewitched” by Lola. He started to appear in public with her on his arm, and then he bought and furnished an apartment for her on one of Munich’s most prestigious boulevards. Although the king was known to be a bit of a miser, he showered Lola with gifts, and she was catapulted to fame and fortune overnight.
All of this fame and fortune went to her head however, and she started to lose her sense of proportion. One day when she was out riding an elderly man was riding too slowly in front of her, so she slashed at him with her riding crop, and on another occasion one of her dogs attacked a man, but instead of helping the man to get the dog off of him she whipped him with the leash. Incidents like this infuriated the citizens of Bavaria, but Ludwig stood by Lola and even made her a citizen of Bavaria. The king’s advisers tried to make the king come to his senses and warned him continually of the dangers of the affair, but those who dared to criticize Lola were fired.
While the Bavarians who had once adored their king now despised him, Lola was made a countess, had a magnificent palace built for herself, and even started to advise Ludwig on his political policies. Lola had such a hold over the king that she was now the most powerful person in the kingdom, and treated his ministers with disdain. As a result of all this riots broke out, and the kingdom was on the verge of falling into a civil war.
By February 1848 Ludwig was unable to withstand the pressure any longer, and with great sadness ordered Lola to leave his kingdom immediately. She agreed only to leave with a hefty payoff, which the king gave her, and even though she was now gone the Bavarian people could not forgive the king for his actions and 5 weeks later he was forced to abdicate.
Lola then moved onto England, and in order to try and gain some respectability she set her sights on George Trafford Heald, a promising young army officer who was the son of an influential barrister. Although he was 10 years younger than Lola, and could have chosen a wife from among the prettiest and wealthiest young women in English society, he fell under her spell, and even though Lola still hadn’t got a divorce from her husband the pair were married in 1849.
When it was discovered that Lola was still married she was arrested on charges of bigamy, but she skipped bail and her and Heald fled to Spain. On one occasion they had a huge argument and Lola slashed Heald with a knife, so he left her and returned to England, where he found he had lost his position in the army. Shunned by English society, Heald moved to Portugal, where he lived in poverty for a while before being killed in a boating accident.
In 1853 Lola decided to try her luck in California, where she married a man called Pat Hull, but their relationship was volatile and she left him for another man. He fell into a deep depression and turned to drink, dying 4 years later still relatively young. At the age of 41 Lola gave all her worldly riches away and turned to God, touring America and lecturing on religious matters, before dying aged only 43 in 1861.
Interpretation
Lola Montez attracted men with her wiles, but her force of character gave her great power over them. Men were sucked in and churned up by her, and even though they felt confused and upset the strength of the emotions that she had stirred up in them made them feel alive. However, the it was inevitable that problems would arise over time.
Lola’s instability would get under her lover’s skin, and even though they were drawn into her problems their emotional attachment her would make them want to try and help her. This was a crucial point, because Lola could not be helped as her problems were way too deep, and once her lover identified with them he was lost. He would find himself embroiled in huge arguments, which would spread to his family and friends, or, in the case of King Ludwig, an entire kingdom. The only solution for them was to cut her off, or suffer an eventual collapse.
The infecting-character type of person can be male or female, and it stems from an inward instability that radiates outwards, drawing disaster upon itself. There is almost a desire in these types of people to destroy and unsettle, so when you are in the presence of this type of person don’t argue, don’t try to help, and don’t try and pass the person onto your family or friends, or you will regret it. Flee the infector’s presence or suffer the consequences.
“Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look. He thinks too much, I do not know the man I should avoid so soon as that spare Cassius. Such men as he be never at heart’s ease whiles they behold a greater than themselves, and therefore they are very dangerous.” (Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare, 1564-1616)
Keys To Power
Those misfortunates among us who have been brought down by circumstances out of our control deserve all the help and sympathy that society can give them, however those people who are not born into misfortune or unhappiness, but draw it upon themselves by their destructive actions and behaviours, don’t. It would be good if we could raise them up and change their behavioural patterns, but more often than not it is their patterns of destruction that end up getting inside those who try to help them. The reason is simple – humans are extremely susceptible to moods, emotions, and even the ways of thinking of those with whom they spend their time.
The incurably unhappy and unstable have a particularly strong infecting power because their characters and emotions are so intense. They often present themselves as victims, making it difficult at first to see their miseries have in fact been self-inflicted, and before you realize the true nature of their problems you have been infected by them. You need to understand that in the game of power the people you associate with are critical, and the risk of associating with infectors is that you will waste valuable time and energy trying to free yourself, and that through a kind of guilt by association you will also suffer in the eyes of others.
There are many different kinds of infector that you need to be aware of, but one of the worst ones is the person who suffers from chronic dissatisfaction. Cassius, the Roman conspirator against Julius Caesar, had the kind of discontent that comes from serious envy, as he simply could not endure the presence of anyone who had a greater talent then he did. Probably because Caesar sensed this trait in him, he decided not to promote him to the position of first praetorship, and gave the position to Brutus instead.
Cassius brooded and brooded over this knockback, and his hatred for Caesar became totally obsessive. Brutus also disliked Caesar, as Brutus was a republican and he didn’t like the fact that Caesar was a dictator, but he had the patience to wait, as he knew that on Caesar’s death he would become the first man of Rome and would be able to undo all the evil he believed Caesar was doing to his people. However every day Cassius would bend Brutus’ ear with tales of Caesar’s evil, and after a short period of time Brutus had become infected with Cassius’ negativity towards Caesar, which ended up with Brutus stabbing Caesar to death.
There is only one solution to infection: quarantine. But by the time you recognize the problem it is often too late, so how can you protect yourself against these people? The answer lies in judging people on the effects they have on the world and not on the reasons they give for their problems. Infectors can be recognized by the misfortune they draw upon themselves, their turbulent past, their long line of broken relationships, their unstable careers, and the very force of their negative character. Be forewarned by these signs, and learn to see discontent people before they infect you. Do not get mixed up with trying to help them, as they will remain unchanged while you be sucked in and become just like them.
The other side of infection is as equally valid, as there are many people who constantly attract happiness to themselves by their good cheer, natural buoyancy, and intelligence. These people are a source of immense pleasure, and you must associate with them as much as possible in order to share in the prosperity that they draw upon themselves.
This applies to more than good cheer and success, as all positive qualities about a person can infect us. If, for example, you are miserly by nature, you will never go beyond a certain limit as only generous souls attain greatness, so associate with generous people. If you are gloomy associate with cheerful people, and if you are prone to isolating yourself associate with extroverts.
You must never, however, associate with those people who share your negative traits, as you will only reinforce each other’s beliefs and make it nigh on impossible to break them. Only create associations with people who have positive traits, and if you make this a rule of your life you will benefit greatly.
Image: A Virus
Unseen, it enters your pores without warning, spreading silently and slowly. Before you are aware of the infection, it is deep inside you.
Authority
Recognize the fortunate so that you may choose their company, and the unfortunate so that you may avoid them. Misfortune is usually the crime of folly, and among those who suffer from it there is no malady more contagious: Never open your door to the least of misfortunes, for, if you do, many others will follow in its train. Do not die of another’s misery. (Baltasar Gracian, 1601-1658)
Reversal
This Law admits of no reversal, its application is universal. There is nothing to be gained by associating with those who infect you with their misery; there is only power and good fortune to be obtained by associating with the fortunate. Ignore this Law at your peril.
My Opinion
There is a lot of truth in this Law, but the wording he uses, like comparing negative people to infecting viruses, is a bit strong. In my personal life I can honestly say that all my close friends are positive and have a bright outlook on life, and when we get together we have a really good time.
The problem I’ve found in the past is negative people at work, and you can guarantee that a few of your colleagues who you work with on a regular basis will be all doom and gloom, and it does rub off on you and make you feel down. I always try and avoid these type of people if possible, as like the Law says most of them are unable to change and just like to wallow in self-pity.
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Law 10 – Infection: Avoid The Unhappy And Unlucky
You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.
Transgression Of The Law
Born in Limerick, Ireland, in 1818, Marie Gilbert came to Paris in the 1840’s to make her fortune as a dancer and performer. Taking the name Lola Montez, she claimed to be a flamenco dancer from Spain, but by 1845 her career was languishing so she became a courtesan and quickly became one of the most successful in Paris.
Lola decided that there was only one man who could save her dancing career, Alexander Dujarier, the owner of the newspaper with the highest circulation in France, and also the paper’s drama critic. She decided to woo him, and soon discovered that he went out riding every morning, so she herself went out riding too and “accidentally” bumped into him. Soon they were riding together every day, and only a few weeks later Lola moved into his apartment.
For a while the two were happy together, and with Dujarier’s help Lola began to revive her dancing career. Despite risking his social standing Dujarier told his friends that he was to marry Lola in the spring, although Lola hadn’t bothered to tell him she was already married but separated from her husband. Although Dujarier was deeply in love, his life began to slide downhill.
His fortunes in business changed and his friends started to avoid him. One night Dujarier was invited to a party which was to be attended by some of the wealthiest and most influential people in Paris, and although Lola wanted to go as well he would not allow it. They had a huge argument, and Dujarier went to the party by himself, but once there he got hopelessly drunk and insulted an influential drama critic over something critical he had written about Lola. The critic challenged Dujarier to a duel, and the following morning Dujarier was shot and killed. Devastated, Lola left Paris.
In 1846 she found herself in Munich, where she decided this time to woo King Ludwig of Bavaria, and she soon discovered that the best way to get to him was through his aide-de-camp, Count Otto von Rechberg, who happened to have a fondness for pretty girls. One day, when he was breakfasting at an outdoor cafe, Lola rode by on a horse and was “accidentally” thrown from the saddle, landing perfectly at Rechberg’s feet. The count jumped up and helped her to her feet, and he was immediately enchanted by her, and promised to introduce her to the king.
Rechberg arranged the meeting, but when Lola arrived in the anteroom she overheard the king saying he was far too busy to meet a favour-seeking stranger. Lola pushed her way through the sentries guarding the king, but in the process of them trying to stop her her dress became torn (it is suspected she did this herself on purpose) and she found herself standing topless in front of the king. Lola got her audience with the king, and only 55 hours later she made her debut on the Bavarian stage, and even though the reviews were terrible the king soon arranged more performances for her.
In his own words Ludwig was “bewitched” by Lola. He started to appear in public with her on his arm, and then he bought and furnished an apartment for her on one of Munich’s most prestigious boulevards. Although the king was known to be a bit of a miser, he showered Lola with gifts, and she was catapulted to fame and fortune overnight.
All of this fame and fortune went to her head however, and she started to lose her sense of proportion. One day when she was out riding an elderly man was riding too slowly in front of her, so she slashed at him with her riding crop, and on another occasion one of her dogs attacked a man, but instead of helping the man to get the dog off of him she whipped him with the leash. Incidents like this infuriated the citizens of Bavaria, but Ludwig stood by Lola and even made her a citizen of Bavaria. The king’s advisers tried to make the king come to his senses and warned him continually of the dangers of the affair, but those who dared to criticize Lola were fired.
While the Bavarians who had once adored their king now despised him, Lola was made a countess, had a magnificent palace built for herself, and even started to advise Ludwig on his political policies. Lola had such a hold over the king that she was now the most powerful person in the kingdom, and treated his ministers with disdain. As a result of all this riots broke out, and the kingdom was on the verge of falling into a civil war.
By February 1848 Ludwig was unable to withstand the pressure any longer, and with great sadness ordered Lola to leave his kingdom immediately. She agreed only to leave with a hefty payoff, which the king gave her, and even though she was now gone the Bavarian people could not forgive the king for his actions and 5 weeks later he was forced to abdicate.
Lola then moved onto England, and in order to try and gain some respectability she set her sights on George Trafford Heald, a promising young army officer who was the son of an influential barrister. Although he was 10 years younger than Lola, and could have chosen a wife from among the prettiest and wealthiest young women in English society, he fell under her spell, and even though Lola still hadn’t got a divorce from her husband the pair were married in 1849.
When it was discovered that Lola was still married she was arrested on charges of bigamy, but she skipped bail and her and Heald fled to Spain. On one occasion they had a huge argument and Lola slashed Heald with a knife, so he left her and returned to England, where he found he had lost his position in the army. Shunned by English society, Heald moved to Portugal, where he lived in poverty for a while before being killed in a boating accident.
In 1853 Lola decided to try her luck in California, where she married a man called Pat Hull, but their relationship was volatile and she left him for another man. He fell into a deep depression and turned to drink, dying 4 years later still relatively young. At the age of 41 Lola gave all her worldly riches away and turned to God, touring America and lecturing on religious matters, before dying aged only 43 in 1861.
Interpretation
Lola Montez attracted men with her wiles, but her force of character gave her great power over them. Men were sucked in and churned up by her, and even though they felt confused and upset the strength of the emotions that she had stirred up in them made them feel alive. However, the it was inevitable that problems would arise over time.
Lola’s instability would get under her lover’s skin, and even though they were drawn into her problems their emotional attachment her would make them want to try and help her. This was a crucial point, because Lola could not be helped as her problems were way too deep, and once her lover identified with them he was lost. He would find himself embroiled in huge arguments, which would spread to his family and friends, or, in the case of King Ludwig, an entire kingdom. The only solution for them was to cut her off, or suffer an eventual collapse.
The infecting-character type of person can be male or female, and it stems from an inward instability that radiates outwards, drawing disaster upon itself. There is almost a desire in these types of people to destroy and unsettle, so when you are in the presence of this type of person don’t argue, don’t try to help, and don’t try and pass the person onto your family or friends, or you will regret it. Flee the infector’s presence or suffer the consequences.
“Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look. He thinks too much, I do not know the man I should avoid so soon as that spare Cassius. Such men as he be never at heart’s ease whiles they behold a greater than themselves, and therefore they are very dangerous.” (Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare, 1564-1616)
Keys To Power
Those misfortunates among us who have been brought down by circumstances out of our control deserve all the help and sympathy that society can give them, however those people who are not born into misfortune or unhappiness, but draw it upon themselves by their destructive actions and behaviours, don’t. It would be good if we could raise them up and change their behavioural patterns, but more often than not it is their patterns of destruction that end up getting inside those who try to help them. The reason is simple – humans are extremely susceptible to moods, emotions, and even the ways of thinking of those with whom they spend their time.
The incurably unhappy and unstable have a particularly strong infecting power because their characters and emotions are so intense. They often present themselves as victims, making it difficult at first to see their miseries have in fact been self-inflicted, and before you realize the true nature of their problems you have been infected by them. You need to understand that in the game of power the people you associate with are critical, and the risk of associating with infectors is that you will waste valuable time and energy trying to free yourself, and that through a kind of guilt by association you will also suffer in the eyes of others.
There are many different kinds of infector that you need to be aware of, but one of the worst ones is the person who suffers from chronic dissatisfaction. Cassius, the Roman conspirator against Julius Caesar, had the kind of discontent that comes from serious envy, as he simply could not endure the presence of anyone who had a greater talent then he did. Probably because Caesar sensed this trait in him, he decided not to promote him to the position of first praetorship, and gave the position to Brutus instead.
Cassius brooded and brooded over this knockback, and his hatred for Caesar became totally obsessive. Brutus also disliked Caesar, as Brutus was a republican and he didn’t like the fact that Caesar was a dictator, but he had the patience to wait, as he knew that on Caesar’s death he would become the first man of Rome and would be able to undo all the evil he believed Caesar was doing to his people. However every day Cassius would bend Brutus’ ear with tales of Caesar’s evil, and after a short period of time Brutus had become infected with Cassius’ negativity towards Caesar, which ended up with Brutus stabbing Caesar to death.
There is only one solution to infection: quarantine. But by the time you recognize the problem it is often too late, so how can you protect yourself against these people? The answer lies in judging people on the effects they have on the world and not on the reasons they give for their problems. Infectors can be recognized by the misfortune they draw upon themselves, their turbulent past, their long line of broken relationships, their unstable careers, and the very force of their negative character. Be forewarned by these signs, and learn to see discontent people before they infect you. Do not get mixed up with trying to help them, as they will remain unchanged while you be sucked in and become just like them.
The other side of infection is as equally valid, as there are many people who constantly attract happiness to themselves by their good cheer, natural buoyancy, and intelligence. These people are a source of immense pleasure, and you must associate with them as much as possible in order to share in the prosperity that they draw upon themselves.
This applies to more than good cheer and success, as all positive qualities about a person can infect us. If, for example, you are miserly by nature, you will never go beyond a certain limit as only generous souls attain greatness, so associate with generous people. If you are gloomy associate with cheerful people, and if you are prone to isolating yourself associate with extroverts.
You must never, however, associate with those people who share your negative traits, as you will only reinforce each other’s beliefs and make it nigh on impossible to break them. Only create associations with people who have positive traits, and if you make this a rule of your life you will benefit greatly.
Image: A Virus
Unseen, it enters your pores without warning, spreading silently and slowly. Before you are aware of the infection, it is deep inside you.
Authority
Recognize the fortunate so that you may choose their company, and the unfortunate so that you may avoid them. Misfortune is usually the crime of folly, and among those who suffer from it there is no malady more contagious: Never open your door to the least of misfortunes, for, if you do, many others will follow in its train. Do not die of another’s misery. (Baltasar Gracian, 1601-1658)
Reversal
This Law admits of no reversal, its application is universal. There is nothing to be gained by associating with those who infect you with their misery; there is only power and good fortune to be obtained by associating with the fortunate. Ignore this Law at your peril.
My Opinion
There is a lot of truth in this Law, but the wording he uses, like comparing negative people to infecting viruses, is a bit strong. In my personal life I can honestly say that all my close friends are positive and have a bright outlook on life, and when we get together we have a really good time.
The problem I’ve found in the past is negative people at work, and you can guarantee that a few of your colleagues who you work with on a regular basis will be all doom and gloom, and it does rub off on you and make you feel down. I always try and avoid these type of people if possible, as like the Law says most of them are unable to change and just like to wallow in self-pity.
You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.
Transgression Of The Law
Born in Limerick, Ireland, in 1818, Marie Gilbert came to Paris in the 1840’s to make her fortune as a dancer and performer. Taking the name Lola Montez, she claimed to be a flamenco dancer from Spain, but by 1845 her career was languishing so she became a courtesan and quickly became one of the most successful in Paris.
Lola decided that there was only one man who could save her dancing career, Alexander Dujarier, the owner of the newspaper with the highest circulation in France, and also the paper’s drama critic. She decided to woo him, and soon discovered that he went out riding every morning, so she herself went out riding too and “accidentally” bumped into him. Soon they were riding together every day, and only a few weeks later Lola moved into his apartment.
For a while the two were happy together, and with Dujarier’s help Lola began to revive her dancing career. Despite risking his social standing Dujarier told his friends that he was to marry Lola in the spring, although Lola hadn’t bothered to tell him she was already married but separated from her husband. Although Dujarier was deeply in love, his life began to slide downhill.
His fortunes in business changed and his friends started to avoid him. One night Dujarier was invited to a party which was to be attended by some of the wealthiest and most influential people in Paris, and although Lola wanted to go as well he would not allow it. They had a huge argument, and Dujarier went to the party by himself, but once there he got hopelessly drunk and insulted an influential drama critic over something critical he had written about Lola. The critic challenged Dujarier to a duel, and the following morning Dujarier was shot and killed. Devastated, Lola left Paris.
In 1846 she found herself in Munich, where she decided this time to woo King Ludwig of Bavaria, and she soon discovered that the best way to get to him was through his aide-de-camp, Count Otto von Rechberg, who happened to have a fondness for pretty girls. One day, when he was breakfasting at an outdoor cafe, Lola rode by on a horse and was “accidentally” thrown from the saddle, landing perfectly at Rechberg’s feet. The count jumped up and helped her to her feet, and he was immediately enchanted by her, and promised to introduce her to the king.
Rechberg arranged the meeting, but when Lola arrived in the anteroom she overheard the king saying he was far too busy to meet a favour-seeking stranger. Lola pushed her way through the sentries guarding the king, but in the process of them trying to stop her her dress became torn (it is suspected she did this herself on purpose) and she found herself standing topless in front of the king. Lola got her audience with the king, and only 55 hours later she made her debut on the Bavarian stage, and even though the reviews were terrible the king soon arranged more performances for her.
In his own words Ludwig was “bewitched” by Lola. He started to appear in public with her on his arm, and then he bought and furnished an apartment for her on one of Munich’s most prestigious boulevards. Although the king was known to be a bit of a miser, he showered Lola with gifts, and she was catapulted to fame and fortune overnight.
All of this fame and fortune went to her head however, and she started to lose her sense of proportion. One day when she was out riding an elderly man was riding too slowly in front of her, so she slashed at him with her riding crop, and on another occasion one of her dogs attacked a man, but instead of helping the man to get the dog off of him she whipped him with the leash. Incidents like this infuriated the citizens of Bavaria, but Ludwig stood by Lola and even made her a citizen of Bavaria. The king’s advisers tried to make the king come to his senses and warned him continually of the dangers of the affair, but those who dared to criticize Lola were fired.
While the Bavarians who had once adored their king now despised him, Lola was made a countess, had a magnificent palace built for herself, and even started to advise Ludwig on his political policies. Lola had such a hold over the king that she was now the most powerful person in the kingdom, and treated his ministers with disdain. As a result of all this riots broke out, and the kingdom was on the verge of falling into a civil war.
By February 1848 Ludwig was unable to withstand the pressure any longer, and with great sadness ordered Lola to leave his kingdom immediately. She agreed only to leave with a hefty payoff, which the king gave her, and even though she was now gone the Bavarian people could not forgive the king for his actions and 5 weeks later he was forced to abdicate.
Lola then moved onto England, and in order to try and gain some respectability she set her sights on George Trafford Heald, a promising young army officer who was the son of an influential barrister. Although he was 10 years younger than Lola, and could have chosen a wife from among the prettiest and wealthiest young women in English society, he fell under her spell, and even though Lola still hadn’t got a divorce from her husband the pair were married in 1849.
When it was discovered that Lola was still married she was arrested on charges of bigamy, but she skipped bail and her and Heald fled to Spain. On one occasion they had a huge argument and Lola slashed Heald with a knife, so he left her and returned to England, where he found he had lost his position in the army. Shunned by English society, Heald moved to Portugal, where he lived in poverty for a while before being killed in a boating accident.
In 1853 Lola decided to try her luck in California, where she married a man called Pat Hull, but their relationship was volatile and she left him for another man. He fell into a deep depression and turned to drink, dying 4 years later still relatively young. At the age of 41 Lola gave all her worldly riches away and turned to God, touring America and lecturing on religious matters, before dying aged only 43 in 1861.
Interpretation
Lola Montez attracted men with her wiles, but her force of character gave her great power over them. Men were sucked in and churned up by her, and even though they felt confused and upset the strength of the emotions that she had stirred up in them made them feel alive. However, the it was inevitable that problems would arise over time.
Lola’s instability would get under her lover’s skin, and even though they were drawn into her problems their emotional attachment her would make them want to try and help her. This was a crucial point, because Lola could not be helped as her problems were way too deep, and once her lover identified with them he was lost. He would find himself embroiled in huge arguments, which would spread to his family and friends, or, in the case of King Ludwig, an entire kingdom. The only solution for them was to cut her off, or suffer an eventual collapse.
The infecting-character type of person can be male or female, and it stems from an inward instability that radiates outwards, drawing disaster upon itself. There is almost a desire in these types of people to destroy and unsettle, so when you are in the presence of this type of person don’t argue, don’t try to help, and don’t try and pass the person onto your family or friends, or you will regret it. Flee the infector’s presence or suffer the consequences.
“Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look. He thinks too much, I do not know the man I should avoid so soon as that spare Cassius. Such men as he be never at heart’s ease whiles they behold a greater than themselves, and therefore they are very dangerous.” (Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare, 1564-1616)
Keys To Power
Those misfortunates among us who have been brought down by circumstances out of our control deserve all the help and sympathy that society can give them, however those people who are not born into misfortune or unhappiness, but draw it upon themselves by their destructive actions and behaviours, don’t. It would be good if we could raise them up and change their behavioural patterns, but more often than not it is their patterns of destruction that end up getting inside those who try to help them. The reason is simple – humans are extremely susceptible to moods, emotions, and even the ways of thinking of those with whom they spend their time.
The incurably unhappy and unstable have a particularly strong infecting power because their characters and emotions are so intense. They often present themselves as victims, making it difficult at first to see their miseries have in fact been self-inflicted, and before you realize the true nature of their problems you have been infected by them. You need to understand that in the game of power the people you associate with are critical, and the risk of associating with infectors is that you will waste valuable time and energy trying to free yourself, and that through a kind of guilt by association you will also suffer in the eyes of others.
There are many different kinds of infector that you need to be aware of, but one of the worst ones is the person who suffers from chronic dissatisfaction. Cassius, the Roman conspirator against Julius Caesar, had the kind of discontent that comes from serious envy, as he simply could not endure the presence of anyone who had a greater talent then he did. Probably because Caesar sensed this trait in him, he decided not to promote him to the position of first praetorship, and gave the position to Brutus instead.
Cassius brooded and brooded over this knockback, and his hatred for Caesar became totally obsessive. Brutus also disliked Caesar, as Brutus was a republican and he didn’t like the fact that Caesar was a dictator, but he had the patience to wait, as he knew that on Caesar’s death he would become the first man of Rome and would be able to undo all the evil he believed Caesar was doing to his people. However every day Cassius would bend Brutus’ ear with tales of Caesar’s evil, and after a short period of time Brutus had become infected with Cassius’ negativity towards Caesar, which ended up with Brutus stabbing Caesar to death.
There is only one solution to infection: quarantine. But by the time you recognize the problem it is often too late, so how can you protect yourself against these people? The answer lies in judging people on the effects they have on the world and not on the reasons they give for their problems. Infectors can be recognized by the misfortune they draw upon themselves, their turbulent past, their long line of broken relationships, their unstable careers, and the very force of their negative character. Be forewarned by these signs, and learn to see discontent people before they infect you. Do not get mixed up with trying to help them, as they will remain unchanged while you be sucked in and become just like them.
The other side of infection is as equally valid, as there are many people who constantly attract happiness to themselves by their good cheer, natural buoyancy, and intelligence. These people are a source of immense pleasure, and you must associate with them as much as possible in order to share in the prosperity that they draw upon themselves.
This applies to more than good cheer and success, as all positive qualities about a person can infect us. If, for example, you are miserly by nature, you will never go beyond a certain limit as only generous souls attain greatness, so associate with generous people. If you are gloomy associate with cheerful people, and if you are prone to isolating yourself associate with extroverts.
You must never, however, associate with those people who share your negative traits, as you will only reinforce each other’s beliefs and make it nigh on impossible to break them. Only create associations with people who have positive traits, and if you make this a rule of your life you will benefit greatly.
Image: A Virus
Unseen, it enters your pores without warning, spreading silently and slowly. Before you are aware of the infection, it is deep inside you.
Authority
Recognize the fortunate so that you may choose their company, and the unfortunate so that you may avoid them. Misfortune is usually the crime of folly, and among those who suffer from it there is no malady more contagious: Never open your door to the least of misfortunes, for, if you do, many others will follow in its train. Do not die of another’s misery. (Baltasar Gracian, 1601-1658)
Reversal
This Law admits of no reversal, its application is universal. There is nothing to be gained by associating with those who infect you with their misery; there is only power and good fortune to be obtained by associating with the fortunate. Ignore this Law at your peril.
My Opinion
There is a lot of truth in this Law, but the wording he uses, like comparing negative people to infecting viruses, is a bit strong. In my personal life I can honestly say that all my close friends are positive and have a bright outlook on life, and when we get together we have a really good time.
The problem I’ve found in the past is negative people at work, and you can guarantee that a few of your colleagues who you work with on a regular basis will be all doom and gloom, and it does rub off on you and make you feel down. I always try and avoid these type of people if possible, as like the Law says most of them are unable to change and just like to wallow in self-pity.