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REUTERS LONDON / 26/o2/2002
Microsoft, the company behind the Xbox console to be released on March 14th in the United Kingdom, issued a press release earlier today. The spokesman, M Chief, told journalists that the company's production centre for the Xbox in Hungary had been raided the previous night and that the entire UK supply has been stolen - strangely this number tallies with the number pre ordered by eager gamers in the UK.
He detailed how, once the production staff had left, a small army broke down the perimeter fences and stormed the buildings, security guards who stood in their way were knocked out by large plastic cubes, coloured black and purple, that the people threw at them. Apparently the mere sight of this horrendous purpple block sent many guards running whilst a few less fortunate guards met a worse fate, they were found tied in front of several monitors and had been left with no option but to watch "Meet Joe Black" on DVD in green screen, chief added that Microsoft will pay for mental reconditioning. Once they gained access to the building the intruders swiftly installed a software program, Windows 95, onto the centres computers rendering the security alarms useless. Later estimates say that Microsoft has around 500+ blue screen monitors to sort out.
Amazingly, Chief detailed how one unlucky intruder had been unable to wait before opening the Xbox and Halo and was arrested earlier in the morning still on the site. This individual is reportedly being forced to bug test Microsoft Office 2003XPV until he confesses as to the identities of the other intruders. Human Rights groups are already lodging protests with MPS in the UK.
Bill Gates, CEO and founder of Microsoft, had this to say; "We are not trying to control the PC market in any country at all, this is not unfair competition...erm oh sorry...yes, I'm not surprised really. I knew we should have launched earlier but the staff just won't stop playing Dead Or Alive 3, 15 minute breaks turn into 3 hour tournaments, as for the ones we let play the new Buffy game...well we've burnt through one door but htey just barricaded themselves in again !"
Meanwhile rivals Sony and Nintendo had varying feelings. Sony expressed sorrow that their only serious competitor has had setbacks, whilst Nintendo's spokeseman was having difficulty getting people to hear him and collapsed after 5 minutes - apparently dressing a person in a full size Mario costume complete with styrofoam head may not be the best of PR stunts. Having said that Microsoft's only recognisable character so far - a big green x - has become trapped in the doorway.
In a later development 3 Microsoft employees were arrested inside Sony Europe's customer service center as they posed as support technicians. Microsoft deny any knowledge and claim Sony are capable of terrible customer service without any help.
***********Everyone happy now ?? :)****************
Microsoft, the company behind the Xbox console to be released on March 14th in the United Kingdom, issued a press release earlier today. The spokesman, M Chief, told journalists that the company's production centre for the Xbox in Hungary had been raided the previous night and that the entire UK supply has been stolen - strangely this number tallies with the number pre ordered by eager gamers in the UK.
He detailed how, once the production staff had left, a small army broke down the perimeter fences and stormed the buildings, security guards who stood in their way were knocked out by large plastic cubes, coloured black and purple, that the people threw at them. Apparently the mere sight of this horrendous purpple block sent many guards running whilst a few less fortunate guards met a worse fate, they were found tied in front of several monitors and had been left with no option but to watch "Meet Joe Black" on DVD in green screen, chief added that Microsoft will pay for mental reconditioning. Once they gained access to the building the intruders swiftly installed a software program, Windows 95, onto the centres computers rendering the security alarms useless. Later estimates say that Microsoft has around 500+ blue screen monitors to sort out.
Amazingly, Chief detailed how one unlucky intruder had been unable to wait before opening the Xbox and Halo and was arrested earlier in the morning still on the site. This individual is reportedly being forced to bug test Microsoft Office 2003XPV until he confesses as to the identities of the other intruders. Human Rights groups are already lodging protests with MPS in the UK.
Bill Gates, CEO and founder of Microsoft, had this to say; "We are not trying to control the PC market in any country at all, this is not unfair competition...erm oh sorry...yes, I'm not surprised really. I knew we should have launched earlier but the staff just won't stop playing Dead Or Alive 3, 15 minute breaks turn into 3 hour tournaments, as for the ones we let play the new Buffy game...well we've burnt through one door but htey just barricaded themselves in again !"
Meanwhile rivals Sony and Nintendo had varying feelings. Sony expressed sorrow that their only serious competitor has had setbacks, whilst Nintendo's spokeseman was having difficulty getting people to hear him and collapsed after 5 minutes - apparently dressing a person in a full size Mario costume complete with styrofoam head may not be the best of PR stunts. Having said that Microsoft's only recognisable character so far - a big green x - has become trapped in the doorway.
In a later development 3 Microsoft employees were arrested inside Sony Europe's customer service center as they posed as support technicians. Microsoft deny any knowledge and claim Sony are capable of terrible customer service without any help.
***********Everyone happy now ?? :)****************
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REUTERS LONDON / 26/o2/2002
Microsoft, the company behind the Xbox console to be released on March 14th in the United Kingdom, issued a press release earlier today. The spokesman, M Chief, told journalists that the company's production centre for the Xbox in Hungary had been raided the previous night and that the entire UK supply has been stolen - strangely this number tallies with the number pre ordered by eager gamers in the UK.
He detailed how, once the production staff had left, a small army broke down the perimeter fences and stormed the buildings, security guards who stood in their way were knocked out by large plastic cubes, coloured black and purple, that the people threw at them. Apparently the mere sight of this horrendous purpple block sent many guards running whilst a few less fortunate guards met a worse fate, they were found tied in front of several monitors and had been left with no option but to watch "Meet Joe Black" on DVD in green screen, chief added that Microsoft will pay for mental reconditioning. Once they gained access to the building the intruders swiftly installed a software program, Windows 95, onto the centres computers rendering the security alarms useless. Later estimates say that Microsoft has around 500+ blue screen monitors to sort out.
Amazingly, Chief detailed how one unlucky intruder had been unable to wait before opening the Xbox and Halo and was arrested earlier in the morning still on the site. This individual is reportedly being forced to bug test Microsoft Office 2003XPV until he confesses as to the identities of the other intruders. Human Rights groups are already lodging protests with MPS in the UK.
Bill Gates, CEO and founder of Microsoft, had this to say; "We are not trying to control the PC market in any country at all, this is not unfair competition...erm oh sorry...yes, I'm not surprised really. I knew we should have launched earlier but the staff just won't stop playing Dead Or Alive 3, 15 minute breaks turn into 3 hour tournaments, as for the ones we let play the new Buffy game...well we've burnt through one door but htey just barricaded themselves in again !"
Meanwhile rivals Sony and Nintendo had varying feelings. Sony expressed sorrow that their only serious competitor has had setbacks, whilst Nintendo's spokeseman was having difficulty getting people to hear him and collapsed after 5 minutes - apparently dressing a person in a full size Mario costume complete with styrofoam head may not be the best of PR stunts. Having said that Microsoft's only recognisable character so far - a big green x - has become trapped in the doorway.
In a later development 3 Microsoft employees were arrested inside Sony Europe's customer service center as they posed as support technicians. Microsoft deny any knowledge and claim Sony are capable of terrible customer service without any help.
***********Everyone happy now ?? :)****************
Microsoft, the company behind the Xbox console to be released on March 14th in the United Kingdom, issued a press release earlier today. The spokesman, M Chief, told journalists that the company's production centre for the Xbox in Hungary had been raided the previous night and that the entire UK supply has been stolen - strangely this number tallies with the number pre ordered by eager gamers in the UK.
He detailed how, once the production staff had left, a small army broke down the perimeter fences and stormed the buildings, security guards who stood in their way were knocked out by large plastic cubes, coloured black and purple, that the people threw at them. Apparently the mere sight of this horrendous purpple block sent many guards running whilst a few less fortunate guards met a worse fate, they were found tied in front of several monitors and had been left with no option but to watch "Meet Joe Black" on DVD in green screen, chief added that Microsoft will pay for mental reconditioning. Once they gained access to the building the intruders swiftly installed a software program, Windows 95, onto the centres computers rendering the security alarms useless. Later estimates say that Microsoft has around 500+ blue screen monitors to sort out.
Amazingly, Chief detailed how one unlucky intruder had been unable to wait before opening the Xbox and Halo and was arrested earlier in the morning still on the site. This individual is reportedly being forced to bug test Microsoft Office 2003XPV until he confesses as to the identities of the other intruders. Human Rights groups are already lodging protests with MPS in the UK.
Bill Gates, CEO and founder of Microsoft, had this to say; "We are not trying to control the PC market in any country at all, this is not unfair competition...erm oh sorry...yes, I'm not surprised really. I knew we should have launched earlier but the staff just won't stop playing Dead Or Alive 3, 15 minute breaks turn into 3 hour tournaments, as for the ones we let play the new Buffy game...well we've burnt through one door but htey just barricaded themselves in again !"
Meanwhile rivals Sony and Nintendo had varying feelings. Sony expressed sorrow that their only serious competitor has had setbacks, whilst Nintendo's spokeseman was having difficulty getting people to hear him and collapsed after 5 minutes - apparently dressing a person in a full size Mario costume complete with styrofoam head may not be the best of PR stunts. Having said that Microsoft's only recognisable character so far - a big green x - has become trapped in the doorway.
In a later development 3 Microsoft employees were arrested inside Sony Europe's customer service center as they posed as support technicians. Microsoft deny any knowledge and claim Sony are capable of terrible customer service without any help.
***********Everyone happy now ?? :)****************