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"The Story of 'IF'"

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Thu 05/12/02 at 18:30
Regular
Posts: 787
Ever wondered what the industry would have been like if things turned out differently? If big companies like Sega, Nintendo and Sony never existed, what would things be like at this very moment? No, there won't be googly eyed aliens ruling the world, but could things have been better than they are now, better than just 'OK'? Could technology have advanced quicker than it did? I think so.

The big three, Sega Nintendo and Microsoft, could all have had a different outcome. With a hyped up piece of imagination I give you the four part story of ... 'IF'!



MEGA SEGA

In the deep, dark, hopeless underworld of 'Nothing', where machines from the deep associated at night and rested at daylight came a glimour of hope. A chance for the beings of 'Nothing' to be recognised in the rest of the big, bad world. In came the machine that held the future of delightful gaming right in its metal claws. They mocked him for his 16 bit processor, which had currently been upgraded from the "ancient" 8 bit, and between all machines in the land of 'Nothing' he was a laughing stock.
After dozens of Kung Fu lessons with the acclaimed Master Clank, Sega finally found his inner strength and eventually believed that he could make his mark; not just in the no-hope land of 'Nothing' but the rest of the entire world. With thousands of Hope chips planted in his Spinal Circuit, and millions of tiny little Innovation chips inplanted in his square, aluminium head, Sega revolutionised and chased a new life style ..he became...a Console.
He was greatful to Master Clank for giving him a more positive look towards life because he could have been a shabby 16 bit console if it wasn't for him, so he made him his agent, an offer which no Kung Fu master in the right mind would turn down in the underworld.
The Sega Console began as an unbelievable 64 bit console with control pads that had 14 buttons and three analogue joysticks. He was a stylish fella that left all the people in the land of 'Nothing' in envy and all the major developers were after him. They wanted to be part of this project, and in under a week he had already signed twenty contracts including Konami.
Sega went back to his home town, which was now called 'Hopelessnessness', for revenge. He flashed his cash in the main local pub and bought it for fun. People were infuriated and tried to attack him, but they couldn't do anything with the twenty bodyguards surrounding him. This was a delightful day for Sega. With his platinum plated body, the once aluminium civilian of 'Nothing' drove back to his new town of 'The Fast Lane' in his Lamborghini, where he grew and developed a new deal with the legendary Gorgon company, and they made a new 256 bit console called 'Maximus'. It was a beauty that hit the industry by storm with its huge launch titles including 'Bargain Hunt', 'Kicks Balls' and 'The Adventures of Dale Winton', which sold millions everywhere in the first few weeks of release.

Sega could ask for no more. Master Clank rusted away soon enough, but this didn't stop Sega prevailing. He bought several islands around the world, took over Virgin and then with his newly built army, he invaded Australia. All the babes and beaches were in his command as well as half of the world's profit. From a nobody, Sega became a somebody. Who knows what he could've been if things didn't turn out this way .. oh the horror!




TONY GATES - MonkeySoft

Once upon a time, a child was born, just behind B & Q. He was born into a poor family, but they could just afford to give him a healthy education in Labour School. Tony was a very quiet kid around school, but a very sneaky one. Occassionally he would pick out little kids alone on the yard and shove maggot down their backs, and this was just in Primary.
As time went by, Tony was still being called a Monkey because of his ears, but he wasn't too bothered anymore after he began his fascination with politics. This was all because of his History Teacher who talked like a robot and looked like a total geek ... just like Tony. His confidence was built because of this and every now and then he would build protests around busy town centres complaining about the government (NHS).
Years went by, and Tony got a place in Oxford University, where he studied Monkey Behaviour, Politics and Computer Gaming. Soon enough, he found that studying so many subjects was too stressful so he scrapped Politics and penetrated with the rest. He made his parents proud as he got a degree in Animal Behaviour and Computer Gaming, but the problem was he didn't know what to do from here. So after a lot of thought and daily intake of Weetabix, he finally put two and two together and decided to start his own gaming company ... MonkeySoft. His study on the behaviour of monkeys inspired him, and he wanted to actually put the micktaking he received at school to use.
MonkeySoft became a very successful business and Tony Gates became a very famous man. Not only did he create further software for PCs like MonkeySoft Branch, Bananas S.0 and Spanking the Monkey, he actually made his dreams as a child into reality and created his own console. It was called MonkeySoft Blair and everyone loved it. Although it was very vulnerable and kept falling astray to the American way, it still made an impact to the industry. Developers like HARE, PIFA and ELECTRONIC FARTS joined with MonkeySoft and everything went swimmingly.

Tony Gates became a very rich man. He had achieved the impossible and had nothing else to do, not even to upgrade his PC Software and Devices. Strangely enough, he bought the Amazon Forrest and had a mansion built there where he and his gathering of monkeys lived happily ever after.




BINTENDO

Chrynogenically frozen beside Austin Powers, Bintendo the richest man that ever lived was revived in 1988 after his brave decision to test out his own development, ten years ago. He came out a fully unfit human whose body was malfunctioning. Nothing was right. His hands seemed to have been replaced with his feet and he couldn't tell the difference between Marmite and Marmalade. For this, he decided to sue himself for a staggering six hundred billion dollars. He won the case and once again found himself on the front page of The Daily Idiots.
Fame, billions of dollars and hot women were already at his feet and he only had one thing to conquer ... the gaming industry. He knew that the biggest industry in existence would not give him an easy ride so he knew he had to come up with something spectacular like his previous invention, the "official" Coconut Cracker. Unfortunately, this wasn't the right inspiration for him and it resulted in him making the biggest mistake of his life, which he stupidly named the 'Bintendo ShameCube'. Although he received sponsors from Carlsberg, Hula Hoops and 'M & S', the Bintendo ShameCube plumetted and hit the ground very hard.
Bintendo was distraught, disgraced and BANKRUPT. He stupidly invested all of his earnings on this project which proved a total failure. The papers said they could see this coming after he sacked his Holy business partners Sony. They were the only hope that would have made his console a success, but he sacked them due to a disagreement between which character he thought should be the star of his console - he thought of Shaft and they thought of Rambo.
Nowadays you can find Bintendo raiding the Chicago bins for food and begging for money. He never like giving to the poor and now he IS poor and homeless. If only he had put more thought into what he was investing in. His days became numbered as a warning was put around Chicago City warning the people to stay off the streets at night as the Lions from the main city zoo had broken out ... but he couldn't help this.

Bintendo, coincidently was torn to shreds during this dilemma, but he was easily forgotten, not least by Sony.




Thanks for reading
Thu 05/12/02 at 20:00
Regular
"Being Ignorant"
Posts: 2,574
Posh KiD wrote:
I give you the
> four part story of ... 'IF'!


I meant three part story

*doink*
Thu 05/12/02 at 18:30
Regular
"Being Ignorant"
Posts: 2,574
Ever wondered what the industry would have been like if things turned out differently? If big companies like Sega, Nintendo and Sony never existed, what would things be like at this very moment? No, there won't be googly eyed aliens ruling the world, but could things have been better than they are now, better than just 'OK'? Could technology have advanced quicker than it did? I think so.

The big three, Sega Nintendo and Microsoft, could all have had a different outcome. With a hyped up piece of imagination I give you the four part story of ... 'IF'!



MEGA SEGA

In the deep, dark, hopeless underworld of 'Nothing', where machines from the deep associated at night and rested at daylight came a glimour of hope. A chance for the beings of 'Nothing' to be recognised in the rest of the big, bad world. In came the machine that held the future of delightful gaming right in its metal claws. They mocked him for his 16 bit processor, which had currently been upgraded from the "ancient" 8 bit, and between all machines in the land of 'Nothing' he was a laughing stock.
After dozens of Kung Fu lessons with the acclaimed Master Clank, Sega finally found his inner strength and eventually believed that he could make his mark; not just in the no-hope land of 'Nothing' but the rest of the entire world. With thousands of Hope chips planted in his Spinal Circuit, and millions of tiny little Innovation chips inplanted in his square, aluminium head, Sega revolutionised and chased a new life style ..he became...a Console.
He was greatful to Master Clank for giving him a more positive look towards life because he could have been a shabby 16 bit console if it wasn't for him, so he made him his agent, an offer which no Kung Fu master in the right mind would turn down in the underworld.
The Sega Console began as an unbelievable 64 bit console with control pads that had 14 buttons and three analogue joysticks. He was a stylish fella that left all the people in the land of 'Nothing' in envy and all the major developers were after him. They wanted to be part of this project, and in under a week he had already signed twenty contracts including Konami.
Sega went back to his home town, which was now called 'Hopelessnessness', for revenge. He flashed his cash in the main local pub and bought it for fun. People were infuriated and tried to attack him, but they couldn't do anything with the twenty bodyguards surrounding him. This was a delightful day for Sega. With his platinum plated body, the once aluminium civilian of 'Nothing' drove back to his new town of 'The Fast Lane' in his Lamborghini, where he grew and developed a new deal with the legendary Gorgon company, and they made a new 256 bit console called 'Maximus'. It was a beauty that hit the industry by storm with its huge launch titles including 'Bargain Hunt', 'Kicks Balls' and 'The Adventures of Dale Winton', which sold millions everywhere in the first few weeks of release.

Sega could ask for no more. Master Clank rusted away soon enough, but this didn't stop Sega prevailing. He bought several islands around the world, took over Virgin and then with his newly built army, he invaded Australia. All the babes and beaches were in his command as well as half of the world's profit. From a nobody, Sega became a somebody. Who knows what he could've been if things didn't turn out this way .. oh the horror!




TONY GATES - MonkeySoft

Once upon a time, a child was born, just behind B & Q. He was born into a poor family, but they could just afford to give him a healthy education in Labour School. Tony was a very quiet kid around school, but a very sneaky one. Occassionally he would pick out little kids alone on the yard and shove maggot down their backs, and this was just in Primary.
As time went by, Tony was still being called a Monkey because of his ears, but he wasn't too bothered anymore after he began his fascination with politics. This was all because of his History Teacher who talked like a robot and looked like a total geek ... just like Tony. His confidence was built because of this and every now and then he would build protests around busy town centres complaining about the government (NHS).
Years went by, and Tony got a place in Oxford University, where he studied Monkey Behaviour, Politics and Computer Gaming. Soon enough, he found that studying so many subjects was too stressful so he scrapped Politics and penetrated with the rest. He made his parents proud as he got a degree in Animal Behaviour and Computer Gaming, but the problem was he didn't know what to do from here. So after a lot of thought and daily intake of Weetabix, he finally put two and two together and decided to start his own gaming company ... MonkeySoft. His study on the behaviour of monkeys inspired him, and he wanted to actually put the micktaking he received at school to use.
MonkeySoft became a very successful business and Tony Gates became a very famous man. Not only did he create further software for PCs like MonkeySoft Branch, Bananas S.0 and Spanking the Monkey, he actually made his dreams as a child into reality and created his own console. It was called MonkeySoft Blair and everyone loved it. Although it was very vulnerable and kept falling astray to the American way, it still made an impact to the industry. Developers like HARE, PIFA and ELECTRONIC FARTS joined with MonkeySoft and everything went swimmingly.

Tony Gates became a very rich man. He had achieved the impossible and had nothing else to do, not even to upgrade his PC Software and Devices. Strangely enough, he bought the Amazon Forrest and had a mansion built there where he and his gathering of monkeys lived happily ever after.




BINTENDO

Chrynogenically frozen beside Austin Powers, Bintendo the richest man that ever lived was revived in 1988 after his brave decision to test out his own development, ten years ago. He came out a fully unfit human whose body was malfunctioning. Nothing was right. His hands seemed to have been replaced with his feet and he couldn't tell the difference between Marmite and Marmalade. For this, he decided to sue himself for a staggering six hundred billion dollars. He won the case and once again found himself on the front page of The Daily Idiots.
Fame, billions of dollars and hot women were already at his feet and he only had one thing to conquer ... the gaming industry. He knew that the biggest industry in existence would not give him an easy ride so he knew he had to come up with something spectacular like his previous invention, the "official" Coconut Cracker. Unfortunately, this wasn't the right inspiration for him and it resulted in him making the biggest mistake of his life, which he stupidly named the 'Bintendo ShameCube'. Although he received sponsors from Carlsberg, Hula Hoops and 'M & S', the Bintendo ShameCube plumetted and hit the ground very hard.
Bintendo was distraught, disgraced and BANKRUPT. He stupidly invested all of his earnings on this project which proved a total failure. The papers said they could see this coming after he sacked his Holy business partners Sony. They were the only hope that would have made his console a success, but he sacked them due to a disagreement between which character he thought should be the star of his console - he thought of Shaft and they thought of Rambo.
Nowadays you can find Bintendo raiding the Chicago bins for food and begging for money. He never like giving to the poor and now he IS poor and homeless. If only he had put more thought into what he was investing in. His days became numbered as a warning was put around Chicago City warning the people to stay off the streets at night as the Lions from the main city zoo had broken out ... but he couldn't help this.

Bintendo, coincidently was torn to shreds during this dilemma, but he was easily forgotten, not least by Sony.




Thanks for reading

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