The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Wherever you live you will be familiar with townies. You may call them Ned’s if you’re in Scotland, or trendies if you’re a Mosher, but regardless of name, we all know they are shell suit wearing scumbags. They pretty much just annoy anyone and everyone who isn’t a townie and to pry them away from the mean streets for just one minute, I have designed a game where they can re-enact their life without leaving their stolen T.V. and stolen console, in the comfort of their almost certainly stolen living room.
After strenuous brain activity I settled upon “Townies: The game” for a title.
It will be a game that gets progressively harder and will be presented in level form as opposed to “free-roam” – Your townie will get better skills and qualities until he is the ultimate townie. Lets take a look at how the levels would be staggered.
Level 1 – Training
You, playing the role of the townie, have to first qualify to play the game, to do this you need to establish yourself with a gang. You need to pick a suitable shell suit for your first day, you have to make the decision between Rockports or Nikey shoes and which baseball cap to wear. Once you have accomplished this you need to go down to the cash & carry and buy a pack of ciggies to look ‘ard.
The level progresses to the speech element. You have to master swearing 16 times in every sentence. The game element is made simplistic so that all you have to do is press the X key to swear randomly in any sentence. You can also shout obscenities at passers by in the street to earn bonus credibility.
Level 2 – The gang
Every townie needs a gang, as do you. You have to roam to streets and impress a gang of your choice until they let you in. The ringleader of the gang (The one in the red shell suit) will set tasks for you do achieve. These include pushing over old ladies and stealing their pension books, setting fire to peoples pat cats and hot wiring poor quality cars for joyrides. Bonus points can be picked up by scrawling your name across walls and smashing bus shelter windows.
Level 3 – Fight or Flight
Once you have a gang behind you and you’re filled up with nicotine, what else to do but start a fight. You do not actually need any fighting skills, as townies don’t fight physically except the occasional shove. You need to master combos by combines buttons. For example (X,Y,Y,Z) would be, “You looking at me, do you know who I am, I can have you shot you know!”
The aim of these fights is to stun your opponent so he is stumped for words. This, means victory and you become hailed a hero by your gang.
Level 4 – Nickname
With your gang behind you and your reputation for being “well hard”, all you need now is a nickname. This is the hardest part of the game, as you have to make it up yourself. However the developers have realised 80% of townies are in fact illiterate, so the generic alternative “player 1” is still available. With your nickname as “player 1” you will be known on the streets and occasionally get challenges from rival gang members. This gives you a chance to exercise your obscenity artillery. Also by beating opponents in ‘fights’ you unlocks new combo’s of swearwords until you are able to unless the three syllable, “FUU-UUUK-KIIINNN”. This is able to knock the opponent down with such force that you can win a fight with just 1 combo.
Level 5 – Control
Nearing the end of development the team got bored and someone suggested fighting the ringleader of the gang for control. The team were too sleepy to argue otherwise so it was made as part of the game. As “player 1”, you have to challenge ‘Big Ste’ for control of his crew. This is the equivalent of a boss fight in a platform game, only with more swearing. If you lose then you return to the gang at a lower level before. But if you win, the council estate is your oyster.
Level 6 – The gang
As the gang leader you not only control your townie but the actions of your crew. Your gang is also renamed after your chosen nickname, in most cases it will be “player 1’s posse.” You can loot shops, resist arrest and loiter to your hearts content. On the evenings you can break into houses and get drunk on cheap cider, whilst terrorising locals with your disgusting language and even worse dress sense.
Level 7 – Rivalry
All townies have rivals, as do you. Other local gangs will challenge you to a war of words to see who controls the estate. As you progress your empire expands until you own the whole district. Losing battles with other gangs could leave your empire in tatters with only one street to wander aimlessly on.
Level 8 – The grand finale
When you own all the mean streets in the area, other townies will request to join your empire. It is up to you to set them challenges; similar to the ones you were set earlier in the game. This is where you sit back and relax and realise that all your work as a menial townie was worth it.
The developers of the game are hoping to attract a lot of townies into buying the game and keep hem away from real crimes. The projected profit for the first week, however, is £0.00, because all the townies who want a copy of the game will steal it.
Thanks for reading
-kyz²²-
After strenuous brain activity I settled upon “Townies: The game” for a title.
It will be a game that gets progressively harder and will be presented in level form as opposed to “free-roam” – Your townie will get better skills and qualities until he is the ultimate townie. Lets take a look at how the levels would be staggered.
Level 1 – Training
You, playing the role of the townie, have to first qualify to play the game, to do this you need to establish yourself with a gang. You need to pick a suitable shell suit for your first day, you have to make the decision between Rockports or Nikey shoes and which baseball cap to wear. Once you have accomplished this you need to go down to the cash & carry and buy a pack of ciggies to look ‘ard.
The level progresses to the speech element. You have to master swearing 16 times in every sentence. The game element is made simplistic so that all you have to do is press the X key to swear randomly in any sentence. You can also shout obscenities at passers by in the street to earn bonus credibility.
Level 2 – The gang
Every townie needs a gang, as do you. You have to roam to streets and impress a gang of your choice until they let you in. The ringleader of the gang (The one in the red shell suit) will set tasks for you do achieve. These include pushing over old ladies and stealing their pension books, setting fire to peoples pat cats and hot wiring poor quality cars for joyrides. Bonus points can be picked up by scrawling your name across walls and smashing bus shelter windows.
Level 3 – Fight or Flight
Once you have a gang behind you and you’re filled up with nicotine, what else to do but start a fight. You do not actually need any fighting skills, as townies don’t fight physically except the occasional shove. You need to master combos by combines buttons. For example (X,Y,Y,Z) would be, “You looking at me, do you know who I am, I can have you shot you know!”
The aim of these fights is to stun your opponent so he is stumped for words. This, means victory and you become hailed a hero by your gang.
Level 4 – Nickname
With your gang behind you and your reputation for being “well hard”, all you need now is a nickname. This is the hardest part of the game, as you have to make it up yourself. However the developers have realised 80% of townies are in fact illiterate, so the generic alternative “player 1” is still available. With your nickname as “player 1” you will be known on the streets and occasionally get challenges from rival gang members. This gives you a chance to exercise your obscenity artillery. Also by beating opponents in ‘fights’ you unlocks new combo’s of swearwords until you are able to unless the three syllable, “FUU-UUUK-KIIINNN”. This is able to knock the opponent down with such force that you can win a fight with just 1 combo.
Level 5 – Control
Nearing the end of development the team got bored and someone suggested fighting the ringleader of the gang for control. The team were too sleepy to argue otherwise so it was made as part of the game. As “player 1”, you have to challenge ‘Big Ste’ for control of his crew. This is the equivalent of a boss fight in a platform game, only with more swearing. If you lose then you return to the gang at a lower level before. But if you win, the council estate is your oyster.
Level 6 – The gang
As the gang leader you not only control your townie but the actions of your crew. Your gang is also renamed after your chosen nickname, in most cases it will be “player 1’s posse.” You can loot shops, resist arrest and loiter to your hearts content. On the evenings you can break into houses and get drunk on cheap cider, whilst terrorising locals with your disgusting language and even worse dress sense.
Level 7 – Rivalry
All townies have rivals, as do you. Other local gangs will challenge you to a war of words to see who controls the estate. As you progress your empire expands until you own the whole district. Losing battles with other gangs could leave your empire in tatters with only one street to wander aimlessly on.
Level 8 – The grand finale
When you own all the mean streets in the area, other townies will request to join your empire. It is up to you to set them challenges; similar to the ones you were set earlier in the game. This is where you sit back and relax and realise that all your work as a menial townie was worth it.
The developers of the game are hoping to attract a lot of townies into buying the game and keep hem away from real crimes. The projected profit for the first week, however, is £0.00, because all the townies who want a copy of the game will steal it.
Thanks for reading
-kyz²²-
Page:
Wherever you live you will be familiar with townies. You may call them Ned’s if you’re in Scotland, or trendies if you’re a Mosher, but regardless of name, we all know they are shell suit wearing scumbags. They pretty much just annoy anyone and everyone who isn’t a townie and to pry them away from the mean streets for just one minute, I have designed a game where they can re-enact their life without leaving their stolen T.V. and stolen console, in the comfort of their almost certainly stolen living room.
After strenuous brain activity I settled upon “Townies: The game” for a title.
It will be a game that gets progressively harder and will be presented in level form as opposed to “free-roam” – Your townie will get better skills and qualities until he is the ultimate townie. Lets take a look at how the levels would be staggered.
Level 1 – Training
You, playing the role of the townie, have to first qualify to play the game, to do this you need to establish yourself with a gang. You need to pick a suitable shell suit for your first day, you have to make the decision between Rockports or Nikey shoes and which baseball cap to wear. Once you have accomplished this you need to go down to the cash & carry and buy a pack of ciggies to look ‘ard.
The level progresses to the speech element. You have to master swearing 16 times in every sentence. The game element is made simplistic so that all you have to do is press the X key to swear randomly in any sentence. You can also shout obscenities at passers by in the street to earn bonus credibility.
Level 2 – The gang
Every townie needs a gang, as do you. You have to roam to streets and impress a gang of your choice until they let you in. The ringleader of the gang (The one in the red shell suit) will set tasks for you do achieve. These include pushing over old ladies and stealing their pension books, setting fire to peoples pat cats and hot wiring poor quality cars for joyrides. Bonus points can be picked up by scrawling your name across walls and smashing bus shelter windows.
Level 3 – Fight or Flight
Once you have a gang behind you and you’re filled up with nicotine, what else to do but start a fight. You do not actually need any fighting skills, as townies don’t fight physically except the occasional shove. You need to master combos by combines buttons. For example (X,Y,Y,Z) would be, “You looking at me, do you know who I am, I can have you shot you know!”
The aim of these fights is to stun your opponent so he is stumped for words. This, means victory and you become hailed a hero by your gang.
Level 4 – Nickname
With your gang behind you and your reputation for being “well hard”, all you need now is a nickname. This is the hardest part of the game, as you have to make it up yourself. However the developers have realised 80% of townies are in fact illiterate, so the generic alternative “player 1” is still available. With your nickname as “player 1” you will be known on the streets and occasionally get challenges from rival gang members. This gives you a chance to exercise your obscenity artillery. Also by beating opponents in ‘fights’ you unlocks new combo’s of swearwords until you are able to unless the three syllable, “FUU-UUUK-KIIINNN”. This is able to knock the opponent down with such force that you can win a fight with just 1 combo.
Level 5 – Control
Nearing the end of development the team got bored and someone suggested fighting the ringleader of the gang for control. The team were too sleepy to argue otherwise so it was made as part of the game. As “player 1”, you have to challenge ‘Big Ste’ for control of his crew. This is the equivalent of a boss fight in a platform game, only with more swearing. If you lose then you return to the gang at a lower level before. But if you win, the council estate is your oyster.
Level 6 – The gang
As the gang leader you not only control your townie but the actions of your crew. Your gang is also renamed after your chosen nickname, in most cases it will be “player 1’s posse.” You can loot shops, resist arrest and loiter to your hearts content. On the evenings you can break into houses and get drunk on cheap cider, whilst terrorising locals with your disgusting language and even worse dress sense.
Level 7 – Rivalry
All townies have rivals, as do you. Other local gangs will challenge you to a war of words to see who controls the estate. As you progress your empire expands until you own the whole district. Losing battles with other gangs could leave your empire in tatters with only one street to wander aimlessly on.
Level 8 – The grand finale
When you own all the mean streets in the area, other townies will request to join your empire. It is up to you to set them challenges; similar to the ones you were set earlier in the game. This is where you sit back and relax and realise that all your work as a menial townie was worth it.
The developers of the game are hoping to attract a lot of townies into buying the game and keep hem away from real crimes. The projected profit for the first week, however, is £0.00, because all the townies who want a copy of the game will steal it.
Thanks for reading
-kyz²²-
After strenuous brain activity I settled upon “Townies: The game” for a title.
It will be a game that gets progressively harder and will be presented in level form as opposed to “free-roam” – Your townie will get better skills and qualities until he is the ultimate townie. Lets take a look at how the levels would be staggered.
Level 1 – Training
You, playing the role of the townie, have to first qualify to play the game, to do this you need to establish yourself with a gang. You need to pick a suitable shell suit for your first day, you have to make the decision between Rockports or Nikey shoes and which baseball cap to wear. Once you have accomplished this you need to go down to the cash & carry and buy a pack of ciggies to look ‘ard.
The level progresses to the speech element. You have to master swearing 16 times in every sentence. The game element is made simplistic so that all you have to do is press the X key to swear randomly in any sentence. You can also shout obscenities at passers by in the street to earn bonus credibility.
Level 2 – The gang
Every townie needs a gang, as do you. You have to roam to streets and impress a gang of your choice until they let you in. The ringleader of the gang (The one in the red shell suit) will set tasks for you do achieve. These include pushing over old ladies and stealing their pension books, setting fire to peoples pat cats and hot wiring poor quality cars for joyrides. Bonus points can be picked up by scrawling your name across walls and smashing bus shelter windows.
Level 3 – Fight or Flight
Once you have a gang behind you and you’re filled up with nicotine, what else to do but start a fight. You do not actually need any fighting skills, as townies don’t fight physically except the occasional shove. You need to master combos by combines buttons. For example (X,Y,Y,Z) would be, “You looking at me, do you know who I am, I can have you shot you know!”
The aim of these fights is to stun your opponent so he is stumped for words. This, means victory and you become hailed a hero by your gang.
Level 4 – Nickname
With your gang behind you and your reputation for being “well hard”, all you need now is a nickname. This is the hardest part of the game, as you have to make it up yourself. However the developers have realised 80% of townies are in fact illiterate, so the generic alternative “player 1” is still available. With your nickname as “player 1” you will be known on the streets and occasionally get challenges from rival gang members. This gives you a chance to exercise your obscenity artillery. Also by beating opponents in ‘fights’ you unlocks new combo’s of swearwords until you are able to unless the three syllable, “FUU-UUUK-KIIINNN”. This is able to knock the opponent down with such force that you can win a fight with just 1 combo.
Level 5 – Control
Nearing the end of development the team got bored and someone suggested fighting the ringleader of the gang for control. The team were too sleepy to argue otherwise so it was made as part of the game. As “player 1”, you have to challenge ‘Big Ste’ for control of his crew. This is the equivalent of a boss fight in a platform game, only with more swearing. If you lose then you return to the gang at a lower level before. But if you win, the council estate is your oyster.
Level 6 – The gang
As the gang leader you not only control your townie but the actions of your crew. Your gang is also renamed after your chosen nickname, in most cases it will be “player 1’s posse.” You can loot shops, resist arrest and loiter to your hearts content. On the evenings you can break into houses and get drunk on cheap cider, whilst terrorising locals with your disgusting language and even worse dress sense.
Level 7 – Rivalry
All townies have rivals, as do you. Other local gangs will challenge you to a war of words to see who controls the estate. As you progress your empire expands until you own the whole district. Losing battles with other gangs could leave your empire in tatters with only one street to wander aimlessly on.
Level 8 – The grand finale
When you own all the mean streets in the area, other townies will request to join your empire. It is up to you to set them challenges; similar to the ones you were set earlier in the game. This is where you sit back and relax and realise that all your work as a menial townie was worth it.
The developers of the game are hoping to attract a lot of townies into buying the game and keep hem away from real crimes. The projected profit for the first week, however, is £0.00, because all the townies who want a copy of the game will steal it.
Thanks for reading
-kyz²²-
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SOO LONG!!! TOO CONFUSED!!!!!!!!
I find that 'moshers' are turning into something similar to townies. They aren't moshers because they like the music, it is because they want to be bound under a ceratin label, to be in a group.
Loads hang around town centres and shout at you, just like townies.
Loads hang around town centres and shout at you, just like townies.
I have the same problem with Big Issue sellers :O((
SLIPKNOT lol everyone likes em now its only cuz they saw older people wearin it about 2 years ago so they go and buy it and there cool its all an image and it suck. don't get me wrong i like some punk and metal. Its just give me some old skool rock blackalicous or just sum chilled underground music anyday
Rafiki
Rafiki
Thank you so much for that... i couldnt stop laughing... heh heh, you got everything right about townies, i just wanna send that to as many townies and see how many stupid replies i get back. GIVE HIM 5 GADS...
Thanks everyone :-)
Slipknot are my fav band but I'm not a punk goth that wears all black and is anti christ. I do go pretty crazy in the pit but thats different.
That was an excellent post, I hate townies. They move around in groups and are not hard at all, you can take them out easily just by punching them in the stomach. But if you do that, you'll be surounded by people who are less hard but think they could have you. And you don't want to do anything to them incase they do some research, find out where you live and throw bricks through your windows. The world would be much better if we shot them all, them dirty stinkin pikey townies.
That was an excellent post, I hate townies. They move around in groups and are not hard at all, you can take them out easily just by punching them in the stomach. But if you do that, you'll be surounded by people who are less hard but think they could have you. And you don't want to do anything to them incase they do some research, find out where you live and throw bricks through your windows. The world would be much better if we shot them all, them dirty stinkin pikey townies.
wow, we posted in the same minute.
weird huh! Thanks for your reply :-)
Page: