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Before the time of Sony, Sega and Nintendo, when life was in black and white and the initials VCR stood for ‘very cold Russian’ video games were created. Out of a slimy puddle of bubbling ooze the first ideas for electronic games were born and it took the world by storm. Unfortunately all documents and evidence of this were lost in the First World War in a large fire (caused by a researcher leaving his wireless on all weekend making it over heat) and the earth fell in darkness once again.
Luckily a secret underground organization of rebel gamers who believed that they should only be played by people called ‘Ted’ stole a substantial amount of information and now for the first time in 20 years (sorry, ran out of toes to count) we can reveal what ye olde gaming was really like...
Cave man – in a bomber man style it is a puzzle game. You start off as Ogg who has had a ruff day at the gravel pit (kinda Flidstones meets the wu-tang clan) and as he sets off home he a volcano erupts filling the pit with quick drying lava that incases him in. Using special bombs formed out of highly explosive pineapples (now extinct) that grow in the pit Ogg must battle his way out before dinner time.
The AI in this game is not very bright seeing as his opponents/dinosaur-foes have the brain the size of a peanut but the graphics are the best this time period has to offer. It’s fun for all the family and has a great multiplayer option.
Grand roman turismo – just when you thought the Romans had done enough for us (schools, the roads are safe at night, clean water.... ‘see monty python’) they add Grand roman turismo to the ever growing pile. After the flop of ‘Spartacus bandicoot: wrath of Caesar’ Italian games company ‘lions tails’ joined forces with a group of nomads from the east to become ‘travelers tales’. In this new epic racer you must rise in the ranks of chariot racing. Starting from the beginners bench with a tattered old chariot you get over 60 original courses in which to win gold pieces and buy better vehicles that allow you to get into better races and so on. You can choose from different designs like the BMW 2000BC type and the Citroen Saxon. This game has incredible graphics and really gets you in the mood to push the throttle to the horses. Extra’s include body kits (e.g. speared wheels) and the choice to modify your car to your liking from 2 too 4 horse power.
Grand theft cart : London 1900’s – you play Pike, a east London pick pocket who has just been done in by a group of smack heads (the royal’s on a night out). You must now rise up in the hierarchy of crime in order to pay them back in a cold blooded mission of revenge. Mission is the word as you are soon helped along your way by ‘fat Tony’ who strings you up with many missions you must complete in order to progress in the game. What makes this game so great is that they managed to map out and copy all the 4 square miles of London. Also you get complete freedom in the city, you can literally do what you want from hijacking a speeding cart to robbing a posh block with a top hat, the freedom is endless.
So there you have it, age old games you never knew about and wouldn’t if it weren’t for the efforts of this brave reporter. This is Dagfern reporting for SR news monkey....
*van pulls up quickly and two bearded men jump out*
no really, my names Ted, its a mistake, i meant Ted honestly... *smack*
*the unconscious body is thrown into the van and it speeds off into the distance*
Luckily a secret underground organization of rebel gamers who believed that they should only be played by people called ‘Ted’ stole a substantial amount of information and now for the first time in 20 years (sorry, ran out of toes to count) we can reveal what ye olde gaming was really like...
Cave man – in a bomber man style it is a puzzle game. You start off as Ogg who has had a ruff day at the gravel pit (kinda Flidstones meets the wu-tang clan) and as he sets off home he a volcano erupts filling the pit with quick drying lava that incases him in. Using special bombs formed out of highly explosive pineapples (now extinct) that grow in the pit Ogg must battle his way out before dinner time.
The AI in this game is not very bright seeing as his opponents/dinosaur-foes have the brain the size of a peanut but the graphics are the best this time period has to offer. It’s fun for all the family and has a great multiplayer option.
Grand roman turismo – just when you thought the Romans had done enough for us (schools, the roads are safe at night, clean water.... ‘see monty python’) they add Grand roman turismo to the ever growing pile. After the flop of ‘Spartacus bandicoot: wrath of Caesar’ Italian games company ‘lions tails’ joined forces with a group of nomads from the east to become ‘travelers tales’. In this new epic racer you must rise in the ranks of chariot racing. Starting from the beginners bench with a tattered old chariot you get over 60 original courses in which to win gold pieces and buy better vehicles that allow you to get into better races and so on. You can choose from different designs like the BMW 2000BC type and the Citroen Saxon. This game has incredible graphics and really gets you in the mood to push the throttle to the horses. Extra’s include body kits (e.g. speared wheels) and the choice to modify your car to your liking from 2 too 4 horse power.
Grand theft cart : London 1900’s – you play Pike, a east London pick pocket who has just been done in by a group of smack heads (the royal’s on a night out). You must now rise up in the hierarchy of crime in order to pay them back in a cold blooded mission of revenge. Mission is the word as you are soon helped along your way by ‘fat Tony’ who strings you up with many missions you must complete in order to progress in the game. What makes this game so great is that they managed to map out and copy all the 4 square miles of London. Also you get complete freedom in the city, you can literally do what you want from hijacking a speeding cart to robbing a posh block with a top hat, the freedom is endless.
So there you have it, age old games you never knew about and wouldn’t if it weren’t for the efforts of this brave reporter. This is Dagfern reporting for SR news monkey....
*van pulls up quickly and two bearded men jump out*
no really, my names Ted, its a mistake, i meant Ted honestly... *smack*
*the unconscious body is thrown into the van and it speeds off into the distance*
Ok, fair enough.
Belldandy did something very similar to this.
Maybe he even did this - I don't know, and I can't be bothered checking, but Belldandy made a post about Ye Olde Gaming Shope.
Sorry if this isn't copied - but I just remember his version of it. :-)
Maybe he even did this - I don't know, and I can't be bothered checking, but Belldandy made a post about Ye Olde Gaming Shope.
Sorry if this isn't copied - but I just remember his version of it. :-)
Before the time of Sony, Sega and Nintendo, when life was in black and white and the initials VCR stood for ‘very cold Russian’ video games were created. Out of a slimy puddle of bubbling ooze the first ideas for electronic games were born and it took the world by storm. Unfortunately all documents and evidence of this were lost in the First World War in a large fire (caused by a researcher leaving his wireless on all weekend making it over heat) and the earth fell in darkness once again.
Luckily a secret underground organization of rebel gamers who believed that they should only be played by people called ‘Ted’ stole a substantial amount of information and now for the first time in 20 years (sorry, ran out of toes to count) we can reveal what ye olde gaming was really like...
Cave man – in a bomber man style it is a puzzle game. You start off as Ogg who has had a ruff day at the gravel pit (kinda Flidstones meets the wu-tang clan) and as he sets off home he a volcano erupts filling the pit with quick drying lava that incases him in. Using special bombs formed out of highly explosive pineapples (now extinct) that grow in the pit Ogg must battle his way out before dinner time.
The AI in this game is not very bright seeing as his opponents/dinosaur-foes have the brain the size of a peanut but the graphics are the best this time period has to offer. It’s fun for all the family and has a great multiplayer option.
Grand roman turismo – just when you thought the Romans had done enough for us (schools, the roads are safe at night, clean water.... ‘see monty python’) they add Grand roman turismo to the ever growing pile. After the flop of ‘Spartacus bandicoot: wrath of Caesar’ Italian games company ‘lions tails’ joined forces with a group of nomads from the east to become ‘travelers tales’. In this new epic racer you must rise in the ranks of chariot racing. Starting from the beginners bench with a tattered old chariot you get over 60 original courses in which to win gold pieces and buy better vehicles that allow you to get into better races and so on. You can choose from different designs like the BMW 2000BC type and the Citroen Saxon. This game has incredible graphics and really gets you in the mood to push the throttle to the horses. Extra’s include body kits (e.g. speared wheels) and the choice to modify your car to your liking from 2 too 4 horse power.
Grand theft cart : London 1900’s – you play Pike, a east London pick pocket who has just been done in by a group of smack heads (the royal’s on a night out). You must now rise up in the hierarchy of crime in order to pay them back in a cold blooded mission of revenge. Mission is the word as you are soon helped along your way by ‘fat Tony’ who strings you up with many missions you must complete in order to progress in the game. What makes this game so great is that they managed to map out and copy all the 4 square miles of London. Also you get complete freedom in the city, you can literally do what you want from hijacking a speeding cart to robbing a posh block with a top hat, the freedom is endless.
So there you have it, age old games you never knew about and wouldn’t if it weren’t for the efforts of this brave reporter. This is Dagfern reporting for SR news monkey....
*van pulls up quickly and two bearded men jump out*
no really, my names Ted, its a mistake, i meant Ted honestly... *smack*
*the unconscious body is thrown into the van and it speeds off into the distance*
Luckily a secret underground organization of rebel gamers who believed that they should only be played by people called ‘Ted’ stole a substantial amount of information and now for the first time in 20 years (sorry, ran out of toes to count) we can reveal what ye olde gaming was really like...
Cave man – in a bomber man style it is a puzzle game. You start off as Ogg who has had a ruff day at the gravel pit (kinda Flidstones meets the wu-tang clan) and as he sets off home he a volcano erupts filling the pit with quick drying lava that incases him in. Using special bombs formed out of highly explosive pineapples (now extinct) that grow in the pit Ogg must battle his way out before dinner time.
The AI in this game is not very bright seeing as his opponents/dinosaur-foes have the brain the size of a peanut but the graphics are the best this time period has to offer. It’s fun for all the family and has a great multiplayer option.
Grand roman turismo – just when you thought the Romans had done enough for us (schools, the roads are safe at night, clean water.... ‘see monty python’) they add Grand roman turismo to the ever growing pile. After the flop of ‘Spartacus bandicoot: wrath of Caesar’ Italian games company ‘lions tails’ joined forces with a group of nomads from the east to become ‘travelers tales’. In this new epic racer you must rise in the ranks of chariot racing. Starting from the beginners bench with a tattered old chariot you get over 60 original courses in which to win gold pieces and buy better vehicles that allow you to get into better races and so on. You can choose from different designs like the BMW 2000BC type and the Citroen Saxon. This game has incredible graphics and really gets you in the mood to push the throttle to the horses. Extra’s include body kits (e.g. speared wheels) and the choice to modify your car to your liking from 2 too 4 horse power.
Grand theft cart : London 1900’s – you play Pike, a east London pick pocket who has just been done in by a group of smack heads (the royal’s on a night out). You must now rise up in the hierarchy of crime in order to pay them back in a cold blooded mission of revenge. Mission is the word as you are soon helped along your way by ‘fat Tony’ who strings you up with many missions you must complete in order to progress in the game. What makes this game so great is that they managed to map out and copy all the 4 square miles of London. Also you get complete freedom in the city, you can literally do what you want from hijacking a speeding cart to robbing a posh block with a top hat, the freedom is endless.
So there you have it, age old games you never knew about and wouldn’t if it weren’t for the efforts of this brave reporter. This is Dagfern reporting for SR news monkey....
*van pulls up quickly and two bearded men jump out*
no really, my names Ted, its a mistake, i meant Ted honestly... *smack*
*the unconscious body is thrown into the van and it speeds off into the distance*