The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Welcome to the Whitestripes version of Camp Nintendo. Today we see WS heading off into Camp Nintendo, experiencing Ninty at its full. Anyway, over to WS, who's already on the coach.
WS: Hey, well, um I don't have much to say apart from I'm excited at the whole prospect of becoming my favourite Ninty Character forever, and um, yeah, that's about it. Err… how do you turn this thing off?
Bus driver: It seemed to work well for Mark when he threw it out of the window.
WS: heh, well, suppose I should do the same.
Except that was WS's first problem. The window, heavily armored now that Mark had started a new tradition, would be impossible for the Camera to fly out of. So, WS took the easy way out and took the battery out.
Anyway, later on, Ws appeared at Camp Nintendo, and proceeded to walk into the reception area.
Receptionist: Hi, welcome to Camp Nintendo. Name please?
WS: Er, just WS, I suppose.
Receptionist: Ah, yes, Whitestripes. Heh, it seems here you chose Samus. That can't be right, let me change it for you…
WS: No, that's correct.
Receptionist: Heh, you mean you're going to turn into a w..
WS: Yeah, I'm going to turn into a bloke with a very cool Bird Suit.
Receptionist: But Samus' a w…
WS: Weally cool dude? Yeah, spot on. Now, thanks for the card, and I'll be seeing you.
He walked off; wondering what all the fuss was about. He soon found the Metroid Dorm, and steeped inside. He immediately fell onto the Chair in the bridge of his spaceship.
WS: Heh, cool. My own Spaceship. And they said Samus was a stupid choice. Hang on, something's not right…
*feels between legs*
WS: OH MY GOD! I have a, a….. Birdsuit! WOOO! Suppose that's going to take a bit of getting used to.
He, or now rather she (although he hasn't realised yet) walked around the ship, studying the controls and fuel supplies. He hadn't a clue as to how to drive the thing, so stuck it into Auto-pilot and Flew off. After about ten minutes, he landed on Planet Zebes. Planet Zebes was not how he'd imagined it. Large, empty spaces- and the feeling being constantly under the watchful eye of something hideous. He (now referred to as She from this point on) jumped off the spaceship and headed off into the cave. After a few minutes walking, she heard a large noise echoing from around the corner. She ran as fast as her Birdsuit could allow her to (which happened to be incredibly fast) and shuddered at the sight that stood before her. A large Metroid had just hatched- and was slowly turning round to face her.
WS: Uh-oh. This looks bad. Hey, why's my voice high-pitched? Oh well, must be a helium leak in the oxygen tanks.
With that, she fired. Lots. And killed the metroid after only a few seconds of rapid fire.
WS: Heh, and they say having a gun on the end of your arm was bad. Worked Ok for Megaman though, didn't it? And just why exactly am I talking to myself? *shrugs* Suppose I should press on.
WS entered a large, open room, with a Chozo statue in the middle. It was holding something.
WS: ooooh- goodies! *giggles* Er, why the hell did I just say goodies? Damn Metroid- must have got to my head.
She walked over to the Statue, and reached out for the small glowing orb. She picked it up, and it absorbed into her birdsuit. She looked down at her gun, and was amazed at the sight! Her gun was actually morphing!
WS: Wahey, new gun! Now- to see what it does. Oy!
Small alien: Yes? What?
WS: come here a minute- I want to try something.
Small alien: Ok, cool.
WS: Now, I must warn you. I have no idea what will happen to you, but you see this big gun on my arm here? I think it explains itself, don't you?
Small alien: Yeah, but before I get shot, can I have a final request?
WS: well, yeah, I suppose.
Small alien: Can you strip? You look quite fine….
WS: What the? No I bloody won't! Dodgy thing, and you’re male too. You really do deserve to be shot.
Small alien: Ok, I'm sorry Miss…
WS: Right, that's it! I'm a bloke, for Christ sake. Now shut up! *fires*
WS: heh, cool. Freeze ray. Always thought it would be cool to freeze stuff. Stupid parents. Depriving me of a freezer…. *sobs* Why the hell did I cry so easily? Must be tiredness. Well, better press on.
As she walked down the next tunnel, an even bigger Metroid than the previous one appeared and started flying at WS!
WS: Uh-oh, bad day! Uh, I suppose my new freeze ray will come in handy here!
The Metroid froze on the spot, fell to the ground and shattered in many pieces.
WS: Wow, cool! It, like, totally smashed, like, in lot's of pieces. How cute…… What the hell is wrong with me? Very, very bad day.
She heard dripping sounds coming from inside the wall of the tunnel, so kicked it. Hard. The wall crumbled, and a chozo statue fell out. It, too, was holding an orb. She reached out, picked it up, and once again, it morphed onto her arm.
WS: Yay! New gun! I really want to try this one out!
And then suddenly, the biggest Metroid of all appeared. It was the queen.
WS: Uh-oh. Hang on, didn't I know you from before Camp Nintendo?
Queen Metroid: Yeah, I'm your sister, you nutter. So, how's it feel being a girl?
WS: What's the deal with everyone calling me a girl?
Queen: Well, er, you do know Samus was a girl…
WS: You mean…I have…with the…and the! Wahey!
Queen: Yes, that jiggling on your chest isn't jelly y'know!
WS: Well, this puts a different view on life… and also explains the weird things happening. But, that means I don't have a, y'know, anymore!
*feels between legs… again*
WS: That's gonna take a bit of getting used to. I mean, it's not everyday you wear a birdsuit.
Queen: no, you fool. Nevermind. Anyway, seeing as I am the queen, I suppose I should kill you!
WS: Not if I kill you first!
And they fought a long and painful battle. WS kept firing, and the Queen kept spitting acid. WS thought it was appropriate to use her new gun.
WS: Well, now's the time, I suppose.
*BANG*
WS: heh, cool. Laser cannon.
Queen: Nooooo. How could you do this to your own sister? We could have gone shopping together! *Dies*
WS: Nah, not my cup of tea. Well, I suppose I should get going now.
And off she went. And settled down with Kirby and had many kids. But Kirby's in the next episode….
WS: Hey, well, um I don't have much to say apart from I'm excited at the whole prospect of becoming my favourite Ninty Character forever, and um, yeah, that's about it. Err… how do you turn this thing off?
Bus driver: It seemed to work well for Mark when he threw it out of the window.
WS: heh, well, suppose I should do the same.
Except that was WS's first problem. The window, heavily armored now that Mark had started a new tradition, would be impossible for the Camera to fly out of. So, WS took the easy way out and took the battery out.
Anyway, later on, Ws appeared at Camp Nintendo, and proceeded to walk into the reception area.
Receptionist: Hi, welcome to Camp Nintendo. Name please?
WS: Er, just WS, I suppose.
Receptionist: Ah, yes, Whitestripes. Heh, it seems here you chose Samus. That can't be right, let me change it for you…
WS: No, that's correct.
Receptionist: Heh, you mean you're going to turn into a w..
WS: Yeah, I'm going to turn into a bloke with a very cool Bird Suit.
Receptionist: But Samus' a w…
WS: Weally cool dude? Yeah, spot on. Now, thanks for the card, and I'll be seeing you.
He walked off; wondering what all the fuss was about. He soon found the Metroid Dorm, and steeped inside. He immediately fell onto the Chair in the bridge of his spaceship.
WS: Heh, cool. My own Spaceship. And they said Samus was a stupid choice. Hang on, something's not right…
*feels between legs*
WS: OH MY GOD! I have a, a….. Birdsuit! WOOO! Suppose that's going to take a bit of getting used to.
He, or now rather she (although he hasn't realised yet) walked around the ship, studying the controls and fuel supplies. He hadn't a clue as to how to drive the thing, so stuck it into Auto-pilot and Flew off. After about ten minutes, he landed on Planet Zebes. Planet Zebes was not how he'd imagined it. Large, empty spaces- and the feeling being constantly under the watchful eye of something hideous. He (now referred to as She from this point on) jumped off the spaceship and headed off into the cave. After a few minutes walking, she heard a large noise echoing from around the corner. She ran as fast as her Birdsuit could allow her to (which happened to be incredibly fast) and shuddered at the sight that stood before her. A large Metroid had just hatched- and was slowly turning round to face her.
WS: Uh-oh. This looks bad. Hey, why's my voice high-pitched? Oh well, must be a helium leak in the oxygen tanks.
With that, she fired. Lots. And killed the metroid after only a few seconds of rapid fire.
WS: Heh, and they say having a gun on the end of your arm was bad. Worked Ok for Megaman though, didn't it? And just why exactly am I talking to myself? *shrugs* Suppose I should press on.
WS entered a large, open room, with a Chozo statue in the middle. It was holding something.
WS: ooooh- goodies! *giggles* Er, why the hell did I just say goodies? Damn Metroid- must have got to my head.
She walked over to the Statue, and reached out for the small glowing orb. She picked it up, and it absorbed into her birdsuit. She looked down at her gun, and was amazed at the sight! Her gun was actually morphing!
WS: Wahey, new gun! Now- to see what it does. Oy!
Small alien: Yes? What?
WS: come here a minute- I want to try something.
Small alien: Ok, cool.
WS: Now, I must warn you. I have no idea what will happen to you, but you see this big gun on my arm here? I think it explains itself, don't you?
Small alien: Yeah, but before I get shot, can I have a final request?
WS: well, yeah, I suppose.
Small alien: Can you strip? You look quite fine….
WS: What the? No I bloody won't! Dodgy thing, and you’re male too. You really do deserve to be shot.
Small alien: Ok, I'm sorry Miss…
WS: Right, that's it! I'm a bloke, for Christ sake. Now shut up! *fires*
WS: heh, cool. Freeze ray. Always thought it would be cool to freeze stuff. Stupid parents. Depriving me of a freezer…. *sobs* Why the hell did I cry so easily? Must be tiredness. Well, better press on.
As she walked down the next tunnel, an even bigger Metroid than the previous one appeared and started flying at WS!
WS: Uh-oh, bad day! Uh, I suppose my new freeze ray will come in handy here!
The Metroid froze on the spot, fell to the ground and shattered in many pieces.
WS: Wow, cool! It, like, totally smashed, like, in lot's of pieces. How cute…… What the hell is wrong with me? Very, very bad day.
She heard dripping sounds coming from inside the wall of the tunnel, so kicked it. Hard. The wall crumbled, and a chozo statue fell out. It, too, was holding an orb. She reached out, picked it up, and once again, it morphed onto her arm.
WS: Yay! New gun! I really want to try this one out!
And then suddenly, the biggest Metroid of all appeared. It was the queen.
WS: Uh-oh. Hang on, didn't I know you from before Camp Nintendo?
Queen Metroid: Yeah, I'm your sister, you nutter. So, how's it feel being a girl?
WS: What's the deal with everyone calling me a girl?
Queen: Well, er, you do know Samus was a girl…
WS: You mean…I have…with the…and the! Wahey!
Queen: Yes, that jiggling on your chest isn't jelly y'know!
WS: Well, this puts a different view on life… and also explains the weird things happening. But, that means I don't have a, y'know, anymore!
*feels between legs… again*
WS: That's gonna take a bit of getting used to. I mean, it's not everyday you wear a birdsuit.
Queen: no, you fool. Nevermind. Anyway, seeing as I am the queen, I suppose I should kill you!
WS: Not if I kill you first!
And they fought a long and painful battle. WS kept firing, and the Queen kept spitting acid. WS thought it was appropriate to use her new gun.
WS: Well, now's the time, I suppose.
*BANG*
WS: heh, cool. Laser cannon.
Queen: Nooooo. How could you do this to your own sister? We could have gone shopping together! *Dies*
WS: Nah, not my cup of tea. Well, I suppose I should get going now.
And off she went. And settled down with Kirby and had many kids. But Kirby's in the next episode….
Page:
not the evil- no, wrong cuecard. It's upside down, you fool!
With BP, not chips
*shakes uncontrolably*
fishery! my mookliniator is now baggered! I must sake it to the simians of gurgule schlem to fix my drooping brow. then, and only then, exept before, then, i will be able to fully crapulate to my max crapacitator.
I concur
Yes, and i'd just like to say, I am now officially scared.
Let us be frooglethered from this mookle. it hath to longeth an olde biggening-eth.
never fear, the similians in gurgule schlem hath fortactifeard my pins
no harm can assailien them
no harm can assailien them
it appears gerrid has thelt many pins in my absence. may his frogerts go to the winds, in a nice way.
not a chpping frotter. your pins are as safe as ever, it the garglepits of the wancer, should the ingenious cyclone ever try to attack the invisible bi-plane.
Page: