The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
ok this is basically a thread with loads of jokes put in buy you people. Any jokes will do. I`m not adding one because i can`t be bothered so i`m leaving it to you guys.
Why did the chicken cross the road..........I better not, I dont want any offensive messages pointed in my direction.
What is an Essex girl's idea of safe sex ?
Putting the hand brake on!
A man decides to join a monastery. On his first day he goes up to the head bishop and says to him: "I know that we have to remain celibate, but what happens when we feel the urge to have sex?" The bishop replies, "Follow me" and leads him down to the cellar. In the cellar, there is a large barrel with a hole in it. The bishop says, "Shove your pr*ck in the hole whenever you need to satisfy your urges" So the man tries it and enjoys it thoroughly. He then asks the Bishop: "Can I do this whenever I want?" The Bishops replies, "Yes, except Tuesdays" The man asks him why and the Bishop replies: "Cos it's your turn in the barrel!"
Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal. Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said,
"Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"
The wrestler nodded in agreement.
Now, to the match: The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold! A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending.
Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.
The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asks,
"How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
The wrestler answered,
"Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could. "You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"
I hope these aren't too rude but to change the words would spoil them.
These jokes are copied from http://www.fhm.com/reporter/joke.asp and there are tons more on there so check it out!
Putting the hand brake on!
A man decides to join a monastery. On his first day he goes up to the head bishop and says to him: "I know that we have to remain celibate, but what happens when we feel the urge to have sex?" The bishop replies, "Follow me" and leads him down to the cellar. In the cellar, there is a large barrel with a hole in it. The bishop says, "Shove your pr*ck in the hole whenever you need to satisfy your urges" So the man tries it and enjoys it thoroughly. He then asks the Bishop: "Can I do this whenever I want?" The Bishops replies, "Yes, except Tuesdays" The man asks him why and the Bishop replies: "Cos it's your turn in the barrel!"
Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal. Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said,
"Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"
The wrestler nodded in agreement.
Now, to the match: The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold! A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending.
Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.
The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asks,
"How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
The wrestler answered,
"Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could. "You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"
I hope these aren't too rude but to change the words would spoil them.
These jokes are copied from http://www.fhm.com/reporter/joke.asp and there are tons more on there so check it out!