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"You know you're getting old when...."

- 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep
- You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
- You don't volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital.
- You know all of the people sleeping in your house.
- You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.
- The bank manager doesn't write threatening letters anymore.
- You carry an umbrella.
- Seven-day drink sessions are no longer realistic.
- You have standing orders and direct debits.
- The heating works in your house.
- Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and breaking up.
- You pay the government thousands of pounds every year.
- You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
- Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
- You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door
won't turn down the stereo.
- You get out of bed in the morning even if it's raining.
- Washing up is not an annual ritual.
- Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
- Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
- You feed your dog Pal instead of McDonalds.
- You don't get ideas for drinks from local tramps.
- You don't put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later.
- You don't spend half your day strategically planning pub crawls.
- You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.
- Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.
- You can't persuade your flatmates to 'Drink till dawn'.
- You don't spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.
- You always know where you are when you wake up.
- You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
- A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.
- You go to the chemist for Panadol and antacids, not condoms and
pregnancy test kits.
- A £3 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
- You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.
- You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
- You don't have mice living in your kitchen.
- Shopping lists are longer than 2 minute noodles & cans of beer.
- You have hoovered.
- Breaking the law means doing 70 in a 50 zone.
- 'I'm never going to drink that much again' is replaced with 'I just
can't drink the way I used to'
- Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
work.
- You don't experiment with banned substances.
- You don't get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a pub.

You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.


i still get that being a trainee teacher haha


anyway i bet when i'm older and listening to my Redman and Wu Tang Clan CD's my kids will probably say *come on dad let me put my cliff richard cd on*
oh what's becoming of the youth today. it'll be interesting though to hear what our kids say about our choice of music.

Man, I hope I don't end up like that!

I'd better bury a time capsule telling me not to, so I can dig it up when I'm older and change my ways!

It get's worse when you have kids cos you start saying the things to them that your parents used to say to you. The sort of comments you used to hate hearing and vowed never to repeat them to your own kids. Things like :

'Make sure you wrap up warm'
'You treat this house like a hotel'
'Don't sit so close to the telly/monitor'
'Turn that bl**dy music down'
'Music these days is all the same'
'Your not going out dressed like that'
'You'll understand when your older'

Heh, I know

Adults take EVERYTHING so seriously! Even a little kitchen fire ;)

Excellent stuff. The best one was to be:

- A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.

- 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep
- You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
- You don't volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital.
- You know all of the people sleeping in your house.
- You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.
- The bank manager doesn't write threatening letters anymore.
- You carry an umbrella.
- Seven-day drink sessions are no longer realistic.
- You have standing orders and direct debits.
- The heating works in your house.
- Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and breaking up.
- You pay the government thousands of pounds every year.
- You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
- Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
- You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door
won't turn down the stereo.
- You get out of bed in the morning even if it's raining.
- Washing up is not an annual ritual.
- Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
- Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
- You feed your dog Pal instead of McDonalds.
- You don't get ideas for drinks from local tramps.
- You don't put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later.
- You don't spend half your day strategically planning pub crawls.
- You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.
- Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.
- You can't persuade your flatmates to 'Drink till dawn'.
- You don't spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.
- You always know where you are when you wake up.
- You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
- A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.
- You go to the chemist for Panadol and antacids, not condoms and
pregnancy test kits.
- A £3 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
- You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.
- You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
- You don't have mice living in your kitchen.
- Shopping lists are longer than 2 minute noodles & cans of beer.
- You have hoovered.
- Breaking the law means doing 70 in a 50 zone.
- 'I'm never going to drink that much again' is replaced with 'I just
can't drink the way I used to'
- Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
work.
- You don't experiment with banned substances.
- You don't get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a pub.