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If you receive an e-mail entitled "bad times", delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it.
Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the strips on ALL your credit cards. It reprograms you PIN number, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto-dial to only call 0898 numbers.
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.
It will drink all your beer. FOR GODS SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with hair remover and your hair remover with Regain, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings, which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.
If the "Bad times" message opened in a windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and your dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bath. It will refill your skimmed milk with whole milk or worse, refill your whole milk with skimmed milk.
******WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN******
And if you don't e-mail this to 5000 people in the next 20 seconds you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the nearest person to you
Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the strips on ALL your credit cards. It reprograms you PIN number, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto-dial to only call 0898 numbers.
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.
It will drink all your beer. FOR GODS SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with hair remover and your hair remover with Regain, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings, which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.
If the "Bad times" message opened in a windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and your dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bath. It will refill your skimmed milk with whole milk or worse, refill your whole milk with skimmed milk.
******WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN******
And if you don't e-mail this to 5000 people in the next 20 seconds you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the nearest person to you
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NO! NO! NO! NO! Get that stupid dirty underwear off the table! QUICK!
BANG!
Ach, ive read that already.
*kicks dirt*
*kicks dirt*
Too late...
*stares solemnly at his two dead fish*
*stares solemnly at his two dead fish*
I read that in a book called E-Tales - it's a classic!
*Bump*
:-D
Nice one Mystique :-D
Nice one Mystique :-D
I don't know why you're all laughing (with the exception of those who have no laughter glands) I'm being serious! I've already put bars on my windows...
Ich habe die post geseen gemany times before...
Or something like that in German!
Or something like that in German!
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