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We've had Popstars, we've had Soapstars, we've had Pop Idol, well get ready for Rock Idol! (Not bloody likely)
After months of searching the judges, Jon Bon Jovi, Alice Cooper, Dave Grohl and Simon Cowell, have reached the last eight special men hoping to be championed 'Rock Idol' and become lead vocalist in great new band "Doctor Spank".
The series will run for eight weeks, with the first week showing the auditions, and profiling our 8 potential rock-Gods, and the following 7 weeks taking on a 'knockout' format, with viewers at home deciding who they want to go. Each week there will be two separate tasks for our Rock Idols, a singing task, and an image task. They'll have to please in both catergories to win over the hearts of the nation.
Week 2:
The first knockout week is all about the look of our Rock Idols. Each will have the opportunity to get themselves kitted out as a rock star, be it a simple bandana, lots of jewellery or full cross-dressing mayhem! The contestants will walk the catwalk, and give reasons for their choices.
Following this they will be required to sing YMCA. The person that looks most camp, appears to enjoy it, and knows all of the moves, is most likely to be voted out at this stage.
Week 3:
Headbanging is where it's at this week. Potentiall rockers must perform their favourite song you can bang your head to, without making themselves dizzy. Following the conclusion of the song, they must perform a stage dive into the crowd in the mosh-pit. Not making it into the crowd could seriously damage our rock idols hopes this week.
Week 4:
All ideas of professionalism must go out of the window this week, as our vocalists must perform the difficult 'nasal whine'. Lyrics must be difficult to understand, and possibly missed all together as they swig from beer bottles.
The crowd again play a large part, and will be urged to throw items onto stage, be it glass bottles, or their own shoes. The surviving Rock Idols will avoid hitting the right notes, and getting knocked out by projectiles. Verbal abuse directed at the crowd can only help their cause.
Week 5:
Our 5 remaining contestants will be sent out on a special task this week, making headlines! From Monday to Friday each contestant will get one night in the MET bar, they must be photographed getting off with a minor celebrity. (Minus points for Vanessa Feltz) Our rock idols must then attack the photographer WITHOUT destroying the camera. A report on the savage beating recieved will do them no end of good. Getting decked by the photographer could be disasterous.
Back in the studio on the Saturday night our contestants will have to cover a Britney Spears song. If they are succesful in hiding it's pop roots, or are ironic enough in their delivery of the song, they're more likely to get through.
Week 6:
With only 4 left, the tasks are becoming more challenging, and only those will stamina will make it through. Another mid-week process will have our contestants spending the night in a hotel, with full mini-bar privelages. Their task is to trash the room, throw the TV out of the window, and burn the carpet, aditional points for creativity, and leaving strippers unconscious on the floor.
On the Saturday our contestants will have to show their caring side, with a rock-ballad. Shedding a tear, and getting the audience to sway with their lighters can only be a bonus.
Week 7:
After the previous mid-week extreme activities our last 3 idols will be allowed home to spend time with their families, to ready themselves for Saturadays performance. They won't escape camera's though, that will capture touching family moments.
When they return to the stage they will be required to devour a small animal. Whether it be biting the head off of a chicken, eating the wings of a bat, or swallowing a mouse whole, it can only get our contestants in the mood for singing a song in which they must ROOOAAAARRRR! Going "Gwwwaaaaaaa-bleeehhh!", and making strange whooping sounds will bring them a step closer to that Rock Idol status.
Week 8: The Grand Finale.
Despite this being the final week, it will be 'touch and go' as to whether either remaining rocker will make it to the studio! After seeing if they made it through the previous week, they will be given an endless supply of cash, and sent to the nearest bar, full of drug dealers. Camera-men will follow the remaining contestants for the week, encouraging them to get more and more wasted. Though dying for the cause would be impressive, it would mean disqualification, so it's a matter of going all the way, without going too far.
If they both make it to the studio, they will be asked to sing any song of their choice, where simply being coherent will probably be enough!
Expect high viewing figures, and busy phone lines when Rock Idol kicks off next month (again, not likely).
And you will be able to buy the first Doctor Spank single two weeks after the final show, followed by the 'Best Of' album a month later, shortly before the inevitable break-up.
After months of searching the judges, Jon Bon Jovi, Alice Cooper, Dave Grohl and Simon Cowell, have reached the last eight special men hoping to be championed 'Rock Idol' and become lead vocalist in great new band "Doctor Spank".
The series will run for eight weeks, with the first week showing the auditions, and profiling our 8 potential rock-Gods, and the following 7 weeks taking on a 'knockout' format, with viewers at home deciding who they want to go. Each week there will be two separate tasks for our Rock Idols, a singing task, and an image task. They'll have to please in both catergories to win over the hearts of the nation.
Week 2:
The first knockout week is all about the look of our Rock Idols. Each will have the opportunity to get themselves kitted out as a rock star, be it a simple bandana, lots of jewellery or full cross-dressing mayhem! The contestants will walk the catwalk, and give reasons for their choices.
Following this they will be required to sing YMCA. The person that looks most camp, appears to enjoy it, and knows all of the moves, is most likely to be voted out at this stage.
Week 3:
Headbanging is where it's at this week. Potentiall rockers must perform their favourite song you can bang your head to, without making themselves dizzy. Following the conclusion of the song, they must perform a stage dive into the crowd in the mosh-pit. Not making it into the crowd could seriously damage our rock idols hopes this week.
Week 4:
All ideas of professionalism must go out of the window this week, as our vocalists must perform the difficult 'nasal whine'. Lyrics must be difficult to understand, and possibly missed all together as they swig from beer bottles.
The crowd again play a large part, and will be urged to throw items onto stage, be it glass bottles, or their own shoes. The surviving Rock Idols will avoid hitting the right notes, and getting knocked out by projectiles. Verbal abuse directed at the crowd can only help their cause.
Week 5:
Our 5 remaining contestants will be sent out on a special task this week, making headlines! From Monday to Friday each contestant will get one night in the MET bar, they must be photographed getting off with a minor celebrity. (Minus points for Vanessa Feltz) Our rock idols must then attack the photographer WITHOUT destroying the camera. A report on the savage beating recieved will do them no end of good. Getting decked by the photographer could be disasterous.
Back in the studio on the Saturday night our contestants will have to cover a Britney Spears song. If they are succesful in hiding it's pop roots, or are ironic enough in their delivery of the song, they're more likely to get through.
Week 6:
With only 4 left, the tasks are becoming more challenging, and only those will stamina will make it through. Another mid-week process will have our contestants spending the night in a hotel, with full mini-bar privelages. Their task is to trash the room, throw the TV out of the window, and burn the carpet, aditional points for creativity, and leaving strippers unconscious on the floor.
On the Saturday our contestants will have to show their caring side, with a rock-ballad. Shedding a tear, and getting the audience to sway with their lighters can only be a bonus.
Week 7:
After the previous mid-week extreme activities our last 3 idols will be allowed home to spend time with their families, to ready themselves for Saturadays performance. They won't escape camera's though, that will capture touching family moments.
When they return to the stage they will be required to devour a small animal. Whether it be biting the head off of a chicken, eating the wings of a bat, or swallowing a mouse whole, it can only get our contestants in the mood for singing a song in which they must ROOOAAAARRRR! Going "Gwwwaaaaaaa-bleeehhh!", and making strange whooping sounds will bring them a step closer to that Rock Idol status.
Week 8: The Grand Finale.
Despite this being the final week, it will be 'touch and go' as to whether either remaining rocker will make it to the studio! After seeing if they made it through the previous week, they will be given an endless supply of cash, and sent to the nearest bar, full of drug dealers. Camera-men will follow the remaining contestants for the week, encouraging them to get more and more wasted. Though dying for the cause would be impressive, it would mean disqualification, so it's a matter of going all the way, without going too far.
If they both make it to the studio, they will be asked to sing any song of their choice, where simply being coherent will probably be enough!
Expect high viewing figures, and busy phone lines when Rock Idol kicks off next month (again, not likely).
And you will be able to buy the first Doctor Spank single two weeks after the final show, followed by the 'Best Of' album a month later, shortly before the inevitable break-up.
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Excellent stuff - well done !!
Congrats on the GAD win.
Yap, excellent stuff.
Brilliant Meka, and a well deserved GAD for you! I knew you'd get it! Any chance of a new series??
Very amusing. Unlikely, but then hey - Pop Idol worked. But still very amusing.
Heh.
Brilliant stuff Meka!
I wouldn't normally come here much to post but I saw this on the GAD winners list, and hell did it make me laugh.
Worthy of the GAD it was awarded. :D
Brilliant stuff Meka!
I wouldn't normally come here much to post but I saw this on the GAD winners list, and hell did it make me laugh.
Worthy of the GAD it was awarded. :D
Another GAD to add to your collection too!
Nice one sir
Nice one sir
Brilliant Meka :-D
Sad thing is that Rock Idol has already happened. Itcreated the manufactured rock band for hardcore teenyboppers... the truly abysmal Stamford Amp. Last time I saw them on a saturday morning show they were playing another rock and roll classic: "Not Ready 4 ya Jelly". The lyrics were deep man, "No no Nelly I'm not ready 4 ya jelly". And the drummer was an unmitigated gimp who was proud to be in a manufactured rock band. A Lars Ulrich in the making...
Sad thing is that Rock Idol has already happened. Itcreated the manufactured rock band for hardcore teenyboppers... the truly abysmal Stamford Amp. Last time I saw them on a saturday morning show they were playing another rock and roll classic: "Not Ready 4 ya Jelly". The lyrics were deep man, "No no Nelly I'm not ready 4 ya jelly". And the drummer was an unmitigated gimp who was proud to be in a manufactured rock band. A Lars Ulrich in the making...
I would never, ever enter Will Idle.
Who wants a fight and 15 pints and some raw meat?
Who wants a fight and 15 pints and some raw meat?
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