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If you vote for me to become notable:
1: I will spill loads of neat jokes.
2: I will try and get the Walkthrough site sorted out.
3: I will write a decent story for once.
4: I will ban Shaneo everytime he comes back.
5: I will stop Mystique photo-copying her breasts.
6: I will write one decent review.
7: I will not talk as much probably.... maybe.
Well that's it... erm... oh yeah! Vote me or ..... someone else...
1: I will spill loads of neat jokes.
2: I will try and get the Walkthrough site sorted out.
3: I will write a decent story for once.
4: I will ban Shaneo everytime he comes back.
5: I will stop Mystique photo-copying her breasts.
6: I will write one decent review.
7: I will not talk as much probably.... maybe.
Well that's it... erm... oh yeah! Vote me or ..... someone else...
Page:
I'm back and... well .... um .... here!
You said I could have done better!
Better now Torax!
THE WIT AND WISDOM OF GEORGE DUBYA BUSH.
“I think we agree, the past is over”
May 10th 2000
“More and more of our imports are coming from overseas”
September 25th 2000
“This is preservation month, I understand preservation. It’s what you do when you run for president, you gotta preserve”
Speaking during Perseverance month at a school in January 2000
“Families is where wings take dream”
“Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it”
October 18th 2000
“Our priorities is our faith”
October 10th 2000
“I know the human being and the fish can coexist peacefully”
September 29th 2000
“I will have a foreign-handed foreign policy”
September 27th 2000
“Well, I think if you say you’re going to do something and don’t do it, that’s trustworthiness”
“It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it”
May 5th 2000
Bush: “My brother Jeb is the governor of Texas”
Interviewer: “Florida”
Bush: “Florida, the state of Florida”
Interview, April 27th 2000
“I understand small business growth. I was one”
February 19th 2000
“The most important job is not be governor, or the first lady in my case”
January 30th 2000
“The senator can’t have it both ways. He can’t tale the high horse and then claim the low road”
February 17th 2000
“Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?”
January 11th 2000
“The important question is, how many hands have I shaked?”
October 23rd 2000
“Keep good relations with the Grecians”
June 12th 2000
“The continent of Nigeria”
October 2000
And still on the topic of George W.Bush…
HE GOT THIS ONE RIGHT
In 1555, Nostradamus wrote:
>> Come the millennium, month 12
>> In the home of the greatest power
>> The village idiot will come forth
>> To be acclaimed the leader.
“I think we agree, the past is over”
May 10th 2000
“More and more of our imports are coming from overseas”
September 25th 2000
“This is preservation month, I understand preservation. It’s what you do when you run for president, you gotta preserve”
Speaking during Perseverance month at a school in January 2000
“Families is where wings take dream”
“Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it”
October 18th 2000
“Our priorities is our faith”
October 10th 2000
“I know the human being and the fish can coexist peacefully”
September 29th 2000
“I will have a foreign-handed foreign policy”
September 27th 2000
“Well, I think if you say you’re going to do something and don’t do it, that’s trustworthiness”
“It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it”
May 5th 2000
Bush: “My brother Jeb is the governor of Texas”
Interviewer: “Florida”
Bush: “Florida, the state of Florida”
Interview, April 27th 2000
“I understand small business growth. I was one”
February 19th 2000
“The most important job is not be governor, or the first lady in my case”
January 30th 2000
“The senator can’t have it both ways. He can’t tale the high horse and then claim the low road”
February 17th 2000
“Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?”
January 11th 2000
“The important question is, how many hands have I shaked?”
October 23rd 2000
“Keep good relations with the Grecians”
June 12th 2000
“The continent of Nigeria”
October 2000
And still on the topic of George W.Bush…
HE GOT THIS ONE RIGHT
In 1555, Nostradamus wrote:
>> Come the millennium, month 12
>> In the home of the greatest power
>> The village idiot will come forth
>> To be acclaimed the leader.
E-WISDOM
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
I am in shape. Round is a shape
Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the Titanic.
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly.
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
There will always be death and taxes; however death doesn’t get worse every year.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
I plan on living forever, so far so good.
A day without sunshine is like night.
If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
I am in shape. Round is a shape
Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the Titanic.
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly.
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
There will always be death and taxes; however death doesn’t get worse every year.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
I plan on living forever, so far so good.
A day without sunshine is like night.
If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED.
I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I’ve learned that you can get on by charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big di*k or huge t*ts.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others-they are more f***ed up then you think.
I’ve learned that you can keep puking long after you think you’re finished.
I’ve learned that we are responsible for everything that we do-unless we are celebrities.
I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, once it fades there had better be a lot of money to replace it.
I’ve learned that the people you least expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones who do.
I’ve learned that we don’t have to ditch bad friends-their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
I’ve learned that no matter how hard you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.
I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken away from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
I’ve learned to say “F**k ‘em if they can’t take a joke,” in six languages.
WORDS OF WISDOM
Words of wisdom from the Zen master:
1.Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
2.The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt.
3.It’s always the darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
4.Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.
5.Noone is listening until you make a mistake.
6.Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7.It may be your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8.If you think nobody cares that you’re alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
9.Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
10.If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
11.Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
12.If you lend someone £20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. (Will that work with Jodi Prince?)
13.Don’t squat with spurs on.
14.If you tell the truth, you won’t have to remember anything.
15.Somedays you’re the fly, some days you are the windscreen.
16.Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
17.The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
18.A closed mouth gathers no foot.
19.Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
20.Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
That's better?
I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I’ve learned that you can get on by charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big di*k or huge t*ts.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others-they are more f***ed up then you think.
I’ve learned that you can keep puking long after you think you’re finished.
I’ve learned that we are responsible for everything that we do-unless we are celebrities.
I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, once it fades there had better be a lot of money to replace it.
I’ve learned that the people you least expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones who do.
I’ve learned that we don’t have to ditch bad friends-their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
I’ve learned that no matter how hard you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.
I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken away from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
I’ve learned to say “F**k ‘em if they can’t take a joke,” in six languages.
WORDS OF WISDOM
Words of wisdom from the Zen master:
1.Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
2.The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt.
3.It’s always the darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
4.Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.
5.Noone is listening until you make a mistake.
6.Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7.It may be your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8.If you think nobody cares that you’re alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
9.Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
10.If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
11.Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
12.If you lend someone £20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. (Will that work with Jodi Prince?)
13.Don’t squat with spurs on.
14.If you tell the truth, you won’t have to remember anything.
15.Somedays you’re the fly, some days you are the windscreen.
16.Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
17.The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
18.A closed mouth gathers no foot.
19.Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
20.Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
That's better?
Two fat men are in a pub.
One says " you round"
The other one says "so are you, you fat b*****d!"
One says " you round"
The other one says "so are you, you fat b*****d!"
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