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You need to play a game that will give maximum satisfaction and allow you to beat the living daylights out of a pixelated character. The game cannot be too tricky because that would multiply the rage and cause you to commit assault on the checkout assistant at Tesco, not a good thing (I should know)
Without further ado, I present to you *pathetic drum roll* Anger Management Games!
1 – The old classic that is the Tekken series. Crank it down to easy mode and select one of the better characters such as Law or Lei. One way to take out your rage is to beat the computer opponent on easy whilst listening to some insanely heavy metal music. But why leave it at that? Turn the stereo up a notch, plug in the player 2 controller and beat them up without them fighting back at all. Bliss, no?
2 – Any Smackdown title should provide enough satisfactory simplistic violence to satisfy the needs of even the craziest of us. Not only can you use the easy setting and powerbomb your opponent time and time again without a time limit or health meter to stop you, you can also use the “Create a wrestler” mode to replicate the person your anger is focused on. For added effects turn the blood option on and hit them again and again with a folding chair, then watch and laugh as they stumble out of the ring.
3 – Moving on from unloading your rage onto your console, why not unleash it on the internet. Take a strategy game you are very good at, something along the lines of Age of Empires or Command and Conquer. Go to the website and search for newbies games and then join one. Not only can you destroy all of your opponents in the blink of an eyelid, you can also type patronising comments to them as you crush their pitiful empire.
4 – What more effective way to recreate a killing spree than a fast paced first person shooter? Join a game of quake or unreal tournament online and slaughter anyone and everyone in your path with a range of weapons so you have the option to pump your opposition full of lead or blow their limbs off with a rocket. For added stress relief you can kill fellow team members and watch and they type geeky comments to you.
5- An effective way to displace anger is a power trip. The Sims gives you the rush of power to need, and more. Build your Sim a dingy little house where they can live in squalor and watch as they suffer and wet themselves pathetically. It makes you realise you aren’t such a mad person after all. To take your power trip to the extreme you can delete the door to the house to prevent your Sim escaping or you can let them get in the pool and delete the stairs to ensure certain death.
6 – A simplistic yet effective way to unleash your anger on the three dimensional world is the “Invincibility” cheat. This is probably at its peak in the likes of Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64. Switch the invincible cheat on, and if you are feeling craft go for the invisible cheat too. Then select a random level and run up to each and every guard and slap them to death, this is particularly funny. If explosions are more of your thing then turn the unlimited ammo cheat on and 2 x rocket launchers cheat too. Now you can scorch guards and henchmen alike with lovely fire!
7 – If you aren’t satisfied by shooting and pillaging perhaps you need to take your savage intentions to a larger scale. Turn to an old classic, Roller Coaster Tycoon. You should build an impressive roller coaster, switch it to be “power launched” and then set it on target for a large mass or water, or even worse, a gift shop! Look on as the little pixelly people squeal in delight before been burn to a crisp in your theme park foyer.
8 – If the Roller Coaster Tycoon option just isn’t enough for you, this one certainly will be. Take your rage to an international level and butcher thousands of citizens with the push of a button. No you aren’t George Bush; you are in fact playing Sim City. At your disposal are several “natural disasters” to cause utter chaos in your humble little city. If you enjoy seeing the innocent civilians suffering then refuse to build any hospital or fire services in the city so it will slowly and surely be burnt to ashes in your self inflicted meteor shower.
I hope these techniques prove useful to you at future moments of anger. If they don’t work please don’t take your anger out on me, please!
Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it.
-Kyz²²-
> damn, I wrote Wipeout, was about to post it, then I realised that I
> was on a roll
Ahhh. Nice!
> There is only one way to take out your anger....
>
> WIPEOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> ROLECAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> MARIO KART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> CRASH TEAM RACING!!!!!!!!!!!
> LITTLE BOTHERS (not typo)!!!
> NEATLY ARRANGED THINGS!!!!!!
Thats 6 things
WIPEOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROLECAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MARIO KART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CRASH TEAM RACING!!!!!!!!!!!
LITTLE BOTHERS (not typo)!!!
NEATLY ARRANGED THINGS!!!!!!
> Good techniques will be doing this when gaming!
>
> **Runs off to play with those puss filled squezey stress things**
Stress balls do not work!
> I'm not really sure that tekken and smackdown should have gone
> separately.
>
> There's games where you kill things, and games where you control
> things. If you don't have enough power, or feel like harming something
> (usual two courses of anger) they should suffice.
*goes off to pick fault with "London Games"*
There's games where you kill things, and games where you control things. If you don't have enough power, or feel like harming something (usual two courses of anger) they should suffice.
You need to play a game that will give maximum satisfaction and allow you to beat the living daylights out of a pixelated character. The game cannot be too tricky because that would multiply the rage and cause you to commit assault on the checkout assistant at Tesco, not a good thing (I should know)
Without further ado, I present to you *pathetic drum roll* Anger Management Games!
1 – The old classic that is the Tekken series. Crank it down to easy mode and select one of the better characters such as Law or Lei. One way to take out your rage is to beat the computer opponent on easy whilst listening to some insanely heavy metal music. But why leave it at that? Turn the stereo up a notch, plug in the player 2 controller and beat them up without them fighting back at all. Bliss, no?
2 – Any Smackdown title should provide enough satisfactory simplistic violence to satisfy the needs of even the craziest of us. Not only can you use the easy setting and powerbomb your opponent time and time again without a time limit or health meter to stop you, you can also use the “Create a wrestler” mode to replicate the person your anger is focused on. For added effects turn the blood option on and hit them again and again with a folding chair, then watch and laugh as they stumble out of the ring.
3 – Moving on from unloading your rage onto your console, why not unleash it on the internet. Take a strategy game you are very good at, something along the lines of Age of Empires or Command and Conquer. Go to the website and search for newbies games and then join one. Not only can you destroy all of your opponents in the blink of an eyelid, you can also type patronising comments to them as you crush their pitiful empire.
4 – What more effective way to recreate a killing spree than a fast paced first person shooter? Join a game of quake or unreal tournament online and slaughter anyone and everyone in your path with a range of weapons so you have the option to pump your opposition full of lead or blow their limbs off with a rocket. For added stress relief you can kill fellow team members and watch and they type geeky comments to you.
5- An effective way to displace anger is a power trip. The Sims gives you the rush of power to need, and more. Build your Sim a dingy little house where they can live in squalor and watch as they suffer and wet themselves pathetically. It makes you realise you aren’t such a mad person after all. To take your power trip to the extreme you can delete the door to the house to prevent your Sim escaping or you can let them get in the pool and delete the stairs to ensure certain death.
6 – A simplistic yet effective way to unleash your anger on the three dimensional world is the “Invincibility” cheat. This is probably at its peak in the likes of Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64. Switch the invincible cheat on, and if you are feeling craft go for the invisible cheat too. Then select a random level and run up to each and every guard and slap them to death, this is particularly funny. If explosions are more of your thing then turn the unlimited ammo cheat on and 2 x rocket launchers cheat too. Now you can scorch guards and henchmen alike with lovely fire!
7 – If you aren’t satisfied by shooting and pillaging perhaps you need to take your savage intentions to a larger scale. Turn to an old classic, Roller Coaster Tycoon. You should build an impressive roller coaster, switch it to be “power launched” and then set it on target for a large mass or water, or even worse, a gift shop! Look on as the little pixelly people squeal in delight before been burn to a crisp in your theme park foyer.
8 – If the Roller Coaster Tycoon option just isn’t enough for you, this one certainly will be. Take your rage to an international level and butcher thousands of citizens with the push of a button. No you aren’t George Bush; you are in fact playing Sim City. At your disposal are several “natural disasters” to cause utter chaos in your humble little city. If you enjoy seeing the innocent civilians suffering then refuse to build any hospital or fire services in the city so it will slowly and surely be burnt to ashes in your self inflicted meteor shower.
I hope these techniques prove useful to you at future moments of anger. If they don’t work please don’t take your anger out on me, please!
Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it.
-Kyz²²-