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I just read a review of a game that sounded utterly awful.
Take a game, then add a twist, it's what developers have been doing for years in order to look like they're bringing something new to gaming.
Well this game, it's a Kart racer, with a twist.
And that twist is:
Don't go too fast.
Yes, in Jaleco's Pulse Racer, if you go to fast, your driver will have a heart attack.
Which leaves us with a driving game, rather than a racing game, does it not?
Surely the idea of those games is to learn the tracks, so you can go as fast as possible, and win, not to slow down every now and then to avoid heart attacks.
Whatever next?
Street Fighter 4: Don't Hurt Them!
A fighting game in which you must beat your opponent to a pulp. A bit. Don't beat them up too much, or you'll lose. It's a don't beat 'em-up. Lets come up with a reason. the 16 fighters have been fitted with neck braces that will explode if they sweat too much, so whilst kicking the crap out of your opponent, be sure to take a breather, so you still win...?
First Person Stunner's will also be on the way, becaus eif you kill the enemies, you'll get arrested, or something. So you have to shoot all opponents in the leg, even though they'll still aim for you head.
It's Innovation!
No, it's rubbish!
Here's a good idea, how about a space shooter, in which you have to conserve your laser power, or it will weaken the ships shields. So dodge the enemies instead, rather than doing what's natural, and shooting all of them.
Whatever next, a wrsetling game so realistic that you have to stick to the match scripts? Sounds to me like Parappa the Wrestler.
How did 'Pulse Racing' ever get beyond the design stage? Surely someone said that a fundamental part of a racig game is, well, racing, is it not? To have to slow down for any reason is just stupid, being forced to because the driver will have a heart attack? That's a ridiculous concept.
So ridiculous that I shall ridicule it.
"Ha, ha, crappy game, rubbish idea, you suck."
I'd rather have more of the same than anything new if this is all they can come up with.
Take a game, then add a twist, it's what developers have been doing for years in order to look like they're bringing something new to gaming.
Well this game, it's a Kart racer, with a twist.
And that twist is:
Don't go too fast.
Yes, in Jaleco's Pulse Racer, if you go to fast, your driver will have a heart attack.
Which leaves us with a driving game, rather than a racing game, does it not?
Surely the idea of those games is to learn the tracks, so you can go as fast as possible, and win, not to slow down every now and then to avoid heart attacks.
Whatever next?
Street Fighter 4: Don't Hurt Them!
A fighting game in which you must beat your opponent to a pulp. A bit. Don't beat them up too much, or you'll lose. It's a don't beat 'em-up. Lets come up with a reason. the 16 fighters have been fitted with neck braces that will explode if they sweat too much, so whilst kicking the crap out of your opponent, be sure to take a breather, so you still win...?
First Person Stunner's will also be on the way, becaus eif you kill the enemies, you'll get arrested, or something. So you have to shoot all opponents in the leg, even though they'll still aim for you head.
It's Innovation!
No, it's rubbish!
Here's a good idea, how about a space shooter, in which you have to conserve your laser power, or it will weaken the ships shields. So dodge the enemies instead, rather than doing what's natural, and shooting all of them.
Whatever next, a wrsetling game so realistic that you have to stick to the match scripts? Sounds to me like Parappa the Wrestler.
How did 'Pulse Racing' ever get beyond the design stage? Surely someone said that a fundamental part of a racig game is, well, racing, is it not? To have to slow down for any reason is just stupid, being forced to because the driver will have a heart attack? That's a ridiculous concept.
So ridiculous that I shall ridicule it.
"Ha, ha, crappy game, rubbish idea, you suck."
I'd rather have more of the same than anything new if this is all they can come up with.
HAHAHHA
I just watched the video of the guy having a heart attack!
He just stops and then lifts his head back up and shakes his head then go's again.
CRAP!
You can never go to fast in a racing game.
I just watched the video of the guy having a heart attack!
He just stops and then lifts his head back up and shakes his head then go's again.
CRAP!
You can never go to fast in a racing game.
I think it's called Starfox Adventures
Loved reading that.
Ouch at that review. How about a Zelda game that is linear?
Ouch at that review. How about a Zelda game that is linear?
I for one, would love to have a heart-attack whilst driving fast.
...
...er, wait, forget what I just said.
...
...er, wait, forget what I just said.
Strafex wrote:
> 1.5 for trying and 0.4 for spelling the title right.
:o)
Sounds about right, it got zero for either Gameplay or Lasting appeal, can't recall which!
> 1.5 for trying and 0.4 for spelling the title right.
:o)
Sounds about right, it got zero for either Gameplay or Lasting appeal, can't recall which!
Lol!
Oh well, they tried... :-D
Oh well, they tried... :-D
I just read a review of a game that sounded utterly awful.
Take a game, then add a twist, it's what developers have been doing for years in order to look like they're bringing something new to gaming.
Well this game, it's a Kart racer, with a twist.
And that twist is:
Don't go too fast.
Yes, in Jaleco's Pulse Racer, if you go to fast, your driver will have a heart attack.
Which leaves us with a driving game, rather than a racing game, does it not?
Surely the idea of those games is to learn the tracks, so you can go as fast as possible, and win, not to slow down every now and then to avoid heart attacks.
Whatever next?
Street Fighter 4: Don't Hurt Them!
A fighting game in which you must beat your opponent to a pulp. A bit. Don't beat them up too much, or you'll lose. It's a don't beat 'em-up. Lets come up with a reason. the 16 fighters have been fitted with neck braces that will explode if they sweat too much, so whilst kicking the crap out of your opponent, be sure to take a breather, so you still win...?
First Person Stunner's will also be on the way, becaus eif you kill the enemies, you'll get arrested, or something. So you have to shoot all opponents in the leg, even though they'll still aim for you head.
It's Innovation!
No, it's rubbish!
Here's a good idea, how about a space shooter, in which you have to conserve your laser power, or it will weaken the ships shields. So dodge the enemies instead, rather than doing what's natural, and shooting all of them.
Whatever next, a wrsetling game so realistic that you have to stick to the match scripts? Sounds to me like Parappa the Wrestler.
How did 'Pulse Racing' ever get beyond the design stage? Surely someone said that a fundamental part of a racig game is, well, racing, is it not? To have to slow down for any reason is just stupid, being forced to because the driver will have a heart attack? That's a ridiculous concept.
So ridiculous that I shall ridicule it.
"Ha, ha, crappy game, rubbish idea, you suck."
I'd rather have more of the same than anything new if this is all they can come up with.
Take a game, then add a twist, it's what developers have been doing for years in order to look like they're bringing something new to gaming.
Well this game, it's a Kart racer, with a twist.
And that twist is:
Don't go too fast.
Yes, in Jaleco's Pulse Racer, if you go to fast, your driver will have a heart attack.
Which leaves us with a driving game, rather than a racing game, does it not?
Surely the idea of those games is to learn the tracks, so you can go as fast as possible, and win, not to slow down every now and then to avoid heart attacks.
Whatever next?
Street Fighter 4: Don't Hurt Them!
A fighting game in which you must beat your opponent to a pulp. A bit. Don't beat them up too much, or you'll lose. It's a don't beat 'em-up. Lets come up with a reason. the 16 fighters have been fitted with neck braces that will explode if they sweat too much, so whilst kicking the crap out of your opponent, be sure to take a breather, so you still win...?
First Person Stunner's will also be on the way, becaus eif you kill the enemies, you'll get arrested, or something. So you have to shoot all opponents in the leg, even though they'll still aim for you head.
It's Innovation!
No, it's rubbish!
Here's a good idea, how about a space shooter, in which you have to conserve your laser power, or it will weaken the ships shields. So dodge the enemies instead, rather than doing what's natural, and shooting all of them.
Whatever next, a wrsetling game so realistic that you have to stick to the match scripts? Sounds to me like Parappa the Wrestler.
How did 'Pulse Racing' ever get beyond the design stage? Surely someone said that a fundamental part of a racig game is, well, racing, is it not? To have to slow down for any reason is just stupid, being forced to because the driver will have a heart attack? That's a ridiculous concept.
So ridiculous that I shall ridicule it.
"Ha, ha, crappy game, rubbish idea, you suck."
I'd rather have more of the same than anything new if this is all they can come up with.