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"Great People, Bad Games"

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Wed 18/12/02 at 21:12
Regular
Posts: 787
On earth there is lots of famous people and the gaming companies pick up on the famous people as fast as they can and make games that exaggerate their talents. The Tony Hawk Pro Skater series is a good example. It has Tony and his pals doing extremely unrealistic and impossible skating moves. Tony Hawk Pro Skater ended up being a huge hit and paved the way for other games based on celebrities like Shawn’s Pro Snowboarding and Kelly’s Pro Surfing. But it also paved the way for games based on people that you really wouldn’t give a game to if they said they needed it to live. Britney’s Dance Beat is a game about a singer whom you dance with. This game has tension as thick as Britney’s hair jell, it’s horrible! Games like this make you think “Do they just make games out of anyone these day? Why on earth did I even play this? And who are they going to make a game of next?” If this trend keeps up we may all be playing games like these soon…

~~Ben Franklin’s Pro Inventor~~

In this game you control Ben Franklin, an inventor. The game play will consist mainly on controlling Ben as he stays outside in a storm. It’s not as easy as it sounds though. You must keep your controller completely still and stare at the t.v. screen, if you press even one button because you are tired of the UTTER BORING TIME YOUR HAVING DOING NOTHING you lose!!

You will be forced to take the game and break it into 43 individual pieces, it’s guaranteed, it even says it in small print on the instruction manual!! After a while you move on to the second level but sadly by that time you have already shot yourself in the head.


~~George Bush Pro Genius~~

In George Bush Pro Genius you play as the current US president then do a series of non-important tasks and of course give important speeches and messing them up as much as possible for the press could make fun of you later on. Because of George’s low brain power he could make the simplest tasks impossible. He may be washing his hands in the sink and manage to start a fire, get a black eye, and ruin his wife’s dinner. After every mishaps will be a short cut-scene that is similar to this…”Oh no, me started a fire let me wash it away with this gasoline I see right here”

Rather than playing this game someone may want to floss with a large sting made of aluminum foil that has been under a sweaty sumo wrestler’s armpit right after he does his daily aerobics!!!


~~Jimmy Penn Pro Pogo Jumper~~

Have you ever thought in your head “Boy, I wish I could play a game about extreme pogo jumping and……..I wish I had a brain” Well if you have you thought that you are in for a trip when you play Jimmy Penn’s Pro Pogo Jumper. Jimmy is a young kid that has grown up all his life in New York, he has been in seven gangs in his life, he has killed 4 people, and he likes to pogo. Well, guess which of those personal traits those clever game designers decided to make a game out of…

This game shows extreme pogo stunts that may never be attempted in real life but by my guess I think no one in the right mind would want to do anything related to this game. Some tricks include the Pogo hop, The Jump, the one-hander and……..nope that’s it, those are all the tricks you could do. Isn’t it EXTRME!!!


~~Lazy Bum Pro Superhero~~

For those who think seeing wallpaper peel is a good time we have a game about a fat lazy house dad that sits in front of his television all day. As you progress through the game you learn that this man has a dream of saving the world from hate crimes and low fat cottage cheese. You must help him make phone calls to his wife and random strangers and tell them what you think about their neighborhood all while sitting on the couch and chomping down a nice bag of crisps.

Once in a while the lazy bum has to get up and get a pint so there actually may be some excitement in the game if you cloud out the fact that it’s horrible. The number of lives this lazy bum has saved as a “superhero” is 0 and it may be even less than that if you count little Timmy that got Lazy Bum Pro Superhero for his birthday, and died of sadness…



To sum it all up people in the real world could invent the cure for cancer or even break a world record for eating or exercising but that gives no reason to make games out of them. Especially if there dancing divas named Britney…….”quivers”



Drunk
Wed 18/12/02 at 21:41
Regular
Posts: 11,038
Bill Gates' World DOmination

Saddam Hussain's Weapon Hiding

Tony Blair's ear surgery, the list is endless

oh, and Shigsy's Game Designer, where you play as shigsy designing a game.
Wed 18/12/02 at 21:12
Regular
"sweats salad dressi"
Posts: 4,599
On earth there is lots of famous people and the gaming companies pick up on the famous people as fast as they can and make games that exaggerate their talents. The Tony Hawk Pro Skater series is a good example. It has Tony and his pals doing extremely unrealistic and impossible skating moves. Tony Hawk Pro Skater ended up being a huge hit and paved the way for other games based on celebrities like Shawn’s Pro Snowboarding and Kelly’s Pro Surfing. But it also paved the way for games based on people that you really wouldn’t give a game to if they said they needed it to live. Britney’s Dance Beat is a game about a singer whom you dance with. This game has tension as thick as Britney’s hair jell, it’s horrible! Games like this make you think “Do they just make games out of anyone these day? Why on earth did I even play this? And who are they going to make a game of next?” If this trend keeps up we may all be playing games like these soon…

~~Ben Franklin’s Pro Inventor~~

In this game you control Ben Franklin, an inventor. The game play will consist mainly on controlling Ben as he stays outside in a storm. It’s not as easy as it sounds though. You must keep your controller completely still and stare at the t.v. screen, if you press even one button because you are tired of the UTTER BORING TIME YOUR HAVING DOING NOTHING you lose!!

You will be forced to take the game and break it into 43 individual pieces, it’s guaranteed, it even says it in small print on the instruction manual!! After a while you move on to the second level but sadly by that time you have already shot yourself in the head.


~~George Bush Pro Genius~~

In George Bush Pro Genius you play as the current US president then do a series of non-important tasks and of course give important speeches and messing them up as much as possible for the press could make fun of you later on. Because of George’s low brain power he could make the simplest tasks impossible. He may be washing his hands in the sink and manage to start a fire, get a black eye, and ruin his wife’s dinner. After every mishaps will be a short cut-scene that is similar to this…”Oh no, me started a fire let me wash it away with this gasoline I see right here”

Rather than playing this game someone may want to floss with a large sting made of aluminum foil that has been under a sweaty sumo wrestler’s armpit right after he does his daily aerobics!!!


~~Jimmy Penn Pro Pogo Jumper~~

Have you ever thought in your head “Boy, I wish I could play a game about extreme pogo jumping and……..I wish I had a brain” Well if you have you thought that you are in for a trip when you play Jimmy Penn’s Pro Pogo Jumper. Jimmy is a young kid that has grown up all his life in New York, he has been in seven gangs in his life, he has killed 4 people, and he likes to pogo. Well, guess which of those personal traits those clever game designers decided to make a game out of…

This game shows extreme pogo stunts that may never be attempted in real life but by my guess I think no one in the right mind would want to do anything related to this game. Some tricks include the Pogo hop, The Jump, the one-hander and……..nope that’s it, those are all the tricks you could do. Isn’t it EXTRME!!!


~~Lazy Bum Pro Superhero~~

For those who think seeing wallpaper peel is a good time we have a game about a fat lazy house dad that sits in front of his television all day. As you progress through the game you learn that this man has a dream of saving the world from hate crimes and low fat cottage cheese. You must help him make phone calls to his wife and random strangers and tell them what you think about their neighborhood all while sitting on the couch and chomping down a nice bag of crisps.

Once in a while the lazy bum has to get up and get a pint so there actually may be some excitement in the game if you cloud out the fact that it’s horrible. The number of lives this lazy bum has saved as a “superhero” is 0 and it may be even less than that if you count little Timmy that got Lazy Bum Pro Superhero for his birthday, and died of sadness…



To sum it all up people in the real world could invent the cure for cancer or even break a world record for eating or exercising but that gives no reason to make games out of them. Especially if there dancing divas named Britney…….”quivers”



Drunk

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