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Just received this in e mail - If youv'e seen it before - sorry " I'll get me coat"
-----
As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a
naked woman who is not his wife. So, this Saturday at 2:00 PM all British
women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this
anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in patio chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all British women.
And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.
The UK Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and
applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless Britain!
-----
As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a
naked woman who is not his wife. So, this Saturday at 2:00 PM all British
women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this
anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in patio chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all British women.
And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.
The UK Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and
applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless Britain!
pop
Unbeliever wrote:
> Damn you, Flanders! I'd received this as an e-mail about ten seconds
> before I read it here!
Heh heh - they say humour is all about the timing !
And thanks for your one - Ewwwwwwww...
> Damn you, Flanders! I'd received this as an e-mail about ten seconds
> before I read it here!
Heh heh - they say humour is all about the timing !
And thanks for your one - Ewwwwwwww...
LOL....
In a further annoucement, Males with beards longer than 1 cm are to be shot on site as suspected terrorists.
In a further annoucement, Males with beards longer than 1 cm are to be shot on site as suspected terrorists.
Damn you, Flanders! I'd received this as an e-mail about ten seconds before I read it here!
So here's another - oh, don't blame me for the spelling because an American wrote it...
Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on your FM dial in Ft Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the Diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. in-water decompression stops totaling thirty five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job..."
So here's another - oh, don't blame me for the spelling because an American wrote it...
Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on your FM dial in Ft Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the Diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. in-water decompression stops totaling thirty five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job..."
Just received this in e mail - If youv'e seen it before - sorry " I'll get me coat"
-----
As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a
naked woman who is not his wife. So, this Saturday at 2:00 PM all British
women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this
anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in patio chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all British women.
And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.
The UK Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and
applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless Britain!
-----
As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a
naked woman who is not his wife. So, this Saturday at 2:00 PM all British
women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this
anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in patio chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all British women.
And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.
The UK Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and
applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless Britain!