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"The alcoholic games industry"

Whether you're new to Computer games, or are a seasoned long-time player, everyone knows that playing games is much better when you're under the influence of Alcohol. In other words, drunk.

Now, being the Christmassy time of year that it is, certain companies, who are well known in the game industry, have finally realised this. Christmas is a time of booze, so whilst on an alcohol-fuelled thinking (and drinking!) session, these companies decided to change everything. Their style of games, their influence on the gaming industry itself, and even their name have all be changed to suit the drinking period. I'm happy to announce these companies, and their changes to the industry we all know and love.


-=Gintendo=-

Now, when Japanese-based giant Nintendo were on a thinking session, Shigeru Miyamoto, whilst drunk, had a flash of inspiration. Downing his fifth that evening, he suddenly blurted out, "Hey, I haveeeeee an ideaaaaaa!". He went on to explain how drinking is becoming an obsession of his around the Christmas period, and the decision was made to change their name to Gintendo. All current games in development were to become alcohol-influenced. Conker's Bad Fur Day was to become their basis of drunken games, characters would be wasted, scenery would be blurred, and most importantly, the game would have no logic. ;)

-=EAle=-

EA, the company behind games such as Medal of Honor, 007 Nightfire and the SSX series finally cracked under pressure, and were pushed towards alcohol when they finally ran out of ideas and ended current series. EAle made an announcement earlier today, "Well, it finally boils down to alcohol. We finally ran out of ideas, and alcohol seemed like the perfect solution. We all know lots about it, no training needs to be done, and we can do research in pubs. I'd also like to take this time to announce that we have bought KP, the company behind salted peanuts and cheesy nibbles. What beer is complete without peanuts? Hopefully, in unison, we'll be able to create some great new titles." All very exciting indeed.

-=Malt Disney=-

Walt Disney, creator of Disneyland and Mickey Mouse would be turning in his grave if he found out that his once magical company developed drinking problems. Apparently, the members of Disney Studios, the game developing sub-section, are delighted, "We can't wait. Out with the sissy Mickey, in with drunken Donald!"
Well, this reporter is shocked. Where will kids want to go for the summer holidays? They're too young to even contemplate entering Disneyland, let alone play the games. Mickey Mouse had this to say, "I'm outraged! Never in my life as an overworked and underpaid mouse have I seen such mockery. Everything I stand for is now gone. I have to drink profusely and pretend to act drunk. Still, the pay is good, and I do get free beer… what the hell am I complaining about?" After that, I expect kids to abandon their beloved Mickey Mouse dolls, and resort back to Goofy, who was sacked. He made this statement earlier, "Hy-uck. It's OK actually, I don't have to get drunk, I don't have to act stupid anymore and I get to follow my dream: becoming a Heart surgeon. I'm off to get a degree in Biology!"


Wow! Well, this was certainly unexpected. There's apparently going to be a domino-type knock on effect, with Microsoft leaning towards the Tobacco industry, and SONY deciding that solvents would help boost game potential.


This was Me, reporting for my channel. Goodnight!


Thanks for reading

Microchips

No, popping is where you 'pop' your topic to the top.

OK, that actually makes sence

Popping is another word for transvestite.

What's "Popping"

Don't laugh.

*looks around*

Thanks Parr.

Nice Chipsy, Very Nice!

There's no shame in popping. Honest.

:D

Lol. Heh, thanks.

Lack of pies. LOL!

pack of lies - lack of pies

i need pies

Wordplay - Gintendo.

i am educated.

*Big grin meets face, followed by fist*

Nice post, very funny, i thinki didn't quite read all of it, it's late.

*Yawn*