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I made this story to be an action sort of thing. Not as much comedy as other spoofs.
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*Aug. 9, 2002/11:00pm*
“AfroJoe is working overnight along in a huge damp lightless factory in London fixing a wall panel”
AfroJoe= Why does the boss always have to pick me to repair damaged panels. He could of at least left the lights on for I could work while seeing!
“AfroJoe’s lack of sight makes him mistakenly jam a screwdriver deep inside the wall panel and wrecking it beyond repair.”
AfroJoe= Now I had enough of this rubbish!!! It’s time for a smoke.
“AfroJoe takes out his old fashion pipe and lights it with his lighter. The gentle smoke from the pipe rises and it clouds the roof of the factory. After a couple of minutes of smoking, for some reason the smoke does not escape through the small windows but instead flooded the big factory until nothing was seen except smoke”
AfroJoe= What’s happening!!!! “cough cough” I can’t “cough” see!!!!!
“Loud flash noises surrounded AfroJoe. AfroJoe knows if the smoke continued he’d die so he crouches down to the floor and awaits death”
AfroJoe= It must be the drugs. This “cough” can’t be happening. Life sucks!!! Why does it always have to kick you when your down. I might as well stop suffering.
“AfroJoe takes out his gun that he leaves in his back pocket just in case he gets any late night encounters and points it close to his head. He holds his breath and grips tighter on the trigger until suddenly all the smoke seemed to be sucked in by one direction. Almost immediately most of the smoke cleared and AfroJoe could see what was drawing the smoke in even with the little light in the room”
AfroJoe= What in the world!!! It-It’s a portal pulling it in!!! I will die today wont I.
“All the smoke clears. The portal then emits dark beams and something gets thrown out of it. AfroJoe points his gun at the creature now lays on the floor in fear as he realizes it’s human resemblance”
AfroJoe= I will kill you if I need to, you…..thing….
Aliboy= I’m laying on the floor bruised and hurt and you think I am such a threat that you are willing to kill me.
“The creature stands up and AfroJoe sees him perfectly. He did look human but was obviously far from it. His skin was gray and he wore a black tunic that went down to his knees. He also had strange metal lining around his mouth”
Aliboy= What is that thing you point at me?
AfroJoe= Don’t play stupid with me thing! It’s a gun!!! Now tell me what you are before I blow your face straight off your shoulders!
Aliboy= I’m HUMAN YOU FOOL!! Do you really suppose there isn’t human life in other galaxies besides this puny one!!!
AfroJoe= Your not human!! Look at your skin.
Aliboy= I am aware of my skin color. It is due to the lack of a sun like what you humans call your star that provides light.
“AfroJoe puts his gun down”
AfroJoe= Sorry, aggression is like a drug to me. But what is more of a drug is……well the drugs I take.
Aliboy= Drugs?
AfroJoe= Hmm, you must be as confused as me. Why are you here?
Aliboy= Do you really want me to tell you that right now. I don’t have much time.
“AfroJoe puts his gun back up and points it at Aliboy”
Aliboy= Whatever that thing is I’m not afraid of it. I’ll tell you why I’m here at my own will then. My name is Aliboy and I’m part of a organization in my galaxy called Cybering Online Enforcing Corporation, COEC for short…
AfroJoe= Cybering Online? Do you know what that means on earth?
Aliboy= Using technology as a form of doing everything?
AfroJoe= Something like that.
Aliboy= Like I was saying COEC is a group that enforces the laws we have on our galaxy and we have enough technology to pass threw dimensions. Some people crave this technology to go to other weaker galaxies like his one and conquer it. While I was repairing my Poo one day…
AfroJoe= “giggle” Poo.
Aliboy= Poos are these things I have on my lips. They shoot out a beam of light that can pierce through organs. All people from my galaxy have them.
AfroJoe= Understood. You got poo on your lips.
Aliboy= Exactly. So continuing from where I left off I was repairing my poo and fiendish bandit named Meka Dragon came behind me and kicked me in the head causing me to faint. Then he stole the disc that I use to switch dimensions that I had in my tunic pocket. When I awoke I tried to find a way to follow Meka Dragon and found out that I need a place on the galaxy he went to that had enough space and plenty of carbon monoxide and other dangerous chemicals for I could convert the chemicals into a portal that I could use to get here. And when I did that I ended up here. But I can’t get back without taking back my disc. And also I have to kill Meka Dragon for he can’t return to our planet.
“AfroJoe stumbles because he is falling asleep due to the boring lecture”
AfroJoe= Um….can’t you just go through that portal that you came out of.
Aliboy= That is a dark portal made by chemicals it will die out as soon as your sun will come out in the morning. How did you get all those chemicals anyway.
AfroJoe= I was smoking my joint.
Aliboy= …..Righty-O…….Can you help me with some people. Meka Dragon has 3 minions and they should be looking for me.
AfroJoe= You have a pair of Poo. Why can’t you just blast them?
Aliboy= Our weapons don’t work on Earth.
AfroJoe= Forget that poo then. Here have this and use it well.
“AfroJoe extends his hand and gives Aliboy his 9mm gun”
Aliboy= I will try to use it! Now lets start walking. We can’t risk a battle going on in here where that portal can be disturbed.
“Aliboy and a pretty stoned AfroJoe walk out of the factory together and enter the night streets of London”
Aliboy= These streets are too narrow we need to get somewhere more open before someone arrives to….
“Out of the sky comes a female ninja that’s skin resembled Aliboy’s. She wore tight dark pants and a hooded ninja tunic”
AfroJoe= Dude……
Aliboy= Earth dweller even though she is what you people call…. a fine sexy bird…, she can’t be underestimated!!!
“AfroJoe purrs at the ninja”
Mystique= I am Mystique the minion of…
AfroJoe= Yea, everyone knows who you are already. Now just come over here and give me some love.
Mystique= Stop that.
AfroJoe= Oh your delicious.
Mystique= Stop it.
AfroJoe= I want to kiss you where you keep your poo.
Mystique= THAT’S ENOUGH!!!! Get ready to die!
“Mystique jumps up in the air and drop kicks AfroJoe causing him to fly backward breaking threw a building wall”
AfroJoe=Uh……. Aliboy……do…..something.
Aliboy= She is way to strong. I couldn’t beat her if I tried.
AfroJoe= Aliboy…use the gun…..
“Aliboy realizes he had put the gun in his shirt and takes it out and point’s it at Mystique”
Mystique= HAHAHAHAHA, you expect to kill me with an earth weapon!
Aliboy= Earth dweller she is right!!! I don’t know how to use this!!!
AfroJoe= First…..you…need to…
Aliboy= Wait, I know how to use it now!!
“Aliboy throws the gun at Mystiques face causing her to wince”
Mystique= Uhh…… How truly effective that weapon is.
AfroJoe= Close….enough.
“Aliboy dives for the gun that fell on the floor after impact and points it at Mystique again”
Mystique= DIE!!!
“Mystique does a flip and then kicks Aliboy in the face. Aliboy flinches and starts to bleed”
Aliboy= Ahhh!!!!
“Aliboy throws the gun at Mystique’s face again and she starts bleeding”
Mystique= …
“Mytique starts to stumble around. Aliboy quickly picks up the gun and throws at her once again. She falls on the floor dead”
Aliboy= Guns work. Earth dweller did you see that?
“Aliboy takes a look at AfroJoe and sees that he is slowly dieing while slouched down near the wall he got thrown threw. Aliboy rushes right next him”
Aliboy= Earth dweller?!?!??!? Earth dweller?!?!?!?!?
AfroJoe= My…..name…is…..AfroJoe
Aiboy= Okay AfroJoe! Just DON’T die!!!!
AfroJoe= I have a huge……..supply of guns……in my house. Learn…. How....to…. use them PROPERLY…….here are…..my keys…..the address is imprinted on….the key…
“AfroJoe hands a pair of keys to Aliboy with his shaky arms”
AfroJoe= One….more….thing……Aliboy.
Aliboy= What AfroJoe!!! What???
AfroJoe=….You’re…..You’re…..
Aliboy= Speak!!! Speak!!!
AfroJoe= You’re……..steeping on my groin……get off now.
Aliboy= Oh….Ick….
“Aliboy steps back and AfroJoe dies seconds after”
Aliboy= Noooooooooo!!!! How many more earth dwellers will fall from the hand of Meka Dragon!!!
“Aliboy looks at the keys that lay in his hands and reads the address carefully”
Aliboy= Meka Dragon will pay……….
*Aug. 10, 2002/1:00am*
“Aliboy had walked all the way threw the narrow streets of London and reaches AfroJoe’s house. He stands in front of it looking at the keys as night birds chirp in nearby trees”
Aliboy= AfroJoe said to learn how to use guns and I will. I will learn how to wield guns perfectly. No one will beat me!!!
“Aliboy walks forward and uses the key to open the front door. He then turns the knob slowly and as soon as he inches in he sees a vast multitude of different guns”
Aliboy= So many guns. I could see AfroJoe wasn’t mush of the outdoor type.
“Aliboy inches up AfroJoe’s stairs. Again he sees a huge amount of guns. From 9mm to rifles to AK47s to bazookas”
Aliboy= AfroJoe died due to my carelessness. If I would of help instead of just standing there, he would be along side me right now.
“Aliboy hears quite footsteps from downstairs. Aliboy freezes in his tracks and tries to not move”
BEARDS.= My tracking device has led me straight to this location Aliboy. I know that you’re here. Stop trying to resist death.
“Aliboy turns tries to turn around not making noise but he tips a sniper rifle off an end table which makes a loud bang against the floor”
BEARDS.= There you are!!! Now you’re mine!!!
“BEARDS races up the stairs as Aliboy looks around nervously to find an escape but it was too late. BEARDS then shown before him, he had greenish gray skin and he wore a white sorceress gown with a ripped white long sleeved shirt”
BEARDS.= Too late Aliboy. I am BEARDS the sorceress. There is really nothing you could do now. I called Kyz22 to come for reinforcements just in case if I get bored of killing you. My magic can burn you to the bone and all you have to defend yourself is….nothing….hehe.
Aliboy= That’s when you’re wrong.
BEARDS.= I’m not Mystique, Aliboy. I never die!
Aliboy= I don’t listen to men that wear dresses!!!!!
BEARDS.= This is a sorceress gown!!!!
Aliboy= Oh, yea, right….
BEARDS.= You will die!
“BEARDS powers up a fire ball in his hand while he chants a spell. He unleashes it shortly but Aliboy had dived out of the way. Aliboy then picks up a rifle and throws it to BEARDS’ stomach”
BEARDS.= Ack!!! Take this!!!
“BEARDS again powers up a fireball but this one was much more superior. He unleashes it upon Aliboy but again he dodges. The fireball causes the floor to shake violently until it finally collapses and the whole second floor gets caved in. Aliboy and BEARDS fall but recover quickly. Aliboy picks up two more rifles”
BEARDS.= Swift ain’t we.
Aliboy= You’re not so bad yourself.
“Aliboy throws one of the rifles but BEARDS shoots a quick fireball at it and it turns to ashes. BEARDS then charges up another fireball but during the wait of the charging Aliboy spears the other rifle into BEARDS stomach”
BEARDS.= Uh.uh..uh…..”takes out a communicator” Kyz22…….come noww.
“BEARDS then dies and stays on the floor”
Aliboy= Kyz22?……. By the numbers I think that is a name of a robot. But I never knew Meka Dragon had a robot minion……What am I still doing here!!! I need to leave before he arrives!!!
“Aliboy picks up a 3sniper rifles, 4 9mms, and 1 bazooka and straps it to his body. He runs out the door then realizes he has no idea where he needs to go. He was lost. He stood still clueless for a long when suddenly next to him, red circular light rings rose from the ground and went to the sky. Then out of the rings came out a red robot. It’s eyes were lifeless and tubes were scattered all over his body”
Kyz22= HELLO HUMAN ALIBOY. I HAVE BEEN SENT TO DESTROY YOU.
Aliboy= You talk funny.
Kyz22= YOU SMELL.
“Kyz22 extends his arms front and a sharp sword then sprouts out of his left hand”
Kyz22= BUZZ BUZZ
“Kyz22 speeds toward Aliboy and swipes his chest leaving a deep bloody wound”
Aliboy= AHHHHHHH!!!
“Aliboy takes out on of his sniper rifles and uses the long gun as a sword by running back at Kyz22 and hitting him over the head. Sadly no damage was done”
Kyz22= RESISTANCE IS FUTIAL!!!
“Aliboy tries over and over beating Kyz22 all around but the robot doesn’t even move. Kyz22 then swipes his sword again and slices anther deep wound in Aliboy’s chest. Kyz22 swipes again but Aliboy blocks it using his sniper rifle”
Kyz22= BUZZ?
Aliboy= Let’s fence!!
“Aliboy puts all his strength into one blow to Kyz22’s left arm. The impact causes only a few pieces to fly off”
Kyz22= I’M TOO STRONG FOR YOU!
Aliboy= Actually I did what I wanted to do already.
Kyz22= BUZZ?
“Aliboy then jams his rifle into the hole that he left in his arm. Electricity then runs through Kyz22 body and transfers some to Aliboy as well”
Kyz22= MUST…….RETURN TO BASE!
“Kyz22 presses a button on his torso and the red rings circle around the robot and Aliboy. As the rings circle around them faster the pain becomes more unbearable”
Aliboy= AHHHHHHHHH!!
“Aliboy kicks Kyz22 out of the way in hope that the rings will go away but instead as soon as he kicked Kyz22 out of the way of the rings, Aliboy gets transported. He was now somewhere so dark that he couldn’t see his hand in front of his face”
Aliboy= The rings were a transporter! And it took me…..to hell…
Meka Dragon= This isn’t hell you fool. This is my earth base! I have been studying your actions Aliboy. I have caught onto your “gun using abilities”. And I got my hands on a reasonable amount of guns myself.
“The lights turn on and Aliboy finds himself in the middle of a circular room with the walls covered with a multitude of guns. Aliboy turns around and sees Meka Dragon standing a few feet away holding a Cougar Magnum in one hand and a grenade launcher in the other. He wore a black leather jacket and baggy gray pants. His skin was very pale white. A piece of string hung around his neck with a disc tied on it”
Aliboy= This will prove to be interesting.
“Aliboy picks up one of his sniper rifles and throws it at Meka Dragon. He stumbles on impact then throws his Magnum at Aliboy. He jumps up in the air to get away from his attack but then while he was airborne Meka Dragon throws his grenade launcher causing Aliboy to fly backwards and hitting a wall full of guns”
Aliboy= Uhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Meka Dragon= Pathetic.
“Meka Dragon walks to one of the walls and picks up a rifle and a 9mm. Aliboy gets up and starts throwing all 4 this 9mm at him rapidly. Meka Dragon tumbles on the floor. He gets up immediately and runs to one of the walls again. He presses a hidden button and a door opens. A human hostage walks out and Meka puts him in a choke hold using him as a human shield”
Aliboy= Don’t worry earth dweller!! I am part of COEC!
Hostage= Coke!!! Psst…..I prefer Pepsi…
Aliboy= You guys killed AfroJoe, but no more earth dwellers will die.
“Aliboy draws his bazooka and throws it directly at Meka’s head. Meka Dragon falls on the floor dieing and the hostage runs off. Aliboy then walks up to him and picks up his bazooka again”
Aliboy= Now….you die!
Meka Dragon= Now……….WE die!
“Meka Dragon reaches for the disc on his neck and snaps it in two. Meka then dies”
Aliboy= Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! My only chance of living this planet is destroyed!
“Aliboy drops his bazooka to the floor and looks down in disappointment”
Aliboy=…..The chemical portal!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Aliboy runs out the secret door and tries to find the factory”
*Aug. 10, 2002/6:30am*
“Aliboy runs as fast as he can through the London streets. He turns a corner and finds the factory along with AfroJoe’s dead body next to it”
Aliboy= There!!!!
“Aliboy runs forward and enters the factory. He sees the portal as good as new but he knew that the sun was about to come up and it will soon disappear. He speeds to it but suddenly Kyz22 jumps in his way”
Aliboy= Get out of MY WAY!!!!!!
Kyz22= SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED…..5……4……3…..2…..
“Aliboy sees Kyz22’s plan and dies toward the portal”
Kyz22= 1…..0……RRZZ RZZZ…
“Kyz22 lets out a devastating explosion, Aliboy is a few feet away from the portal……..the explosion catches up to him and he flies out of the way. He gets blown to the west corridor and sees the sun come up through the window. As he burns from the explosion he sees the portal slowly disappear”
Aliboy= I failed……..but I must pass on my name…and ways….
“Aliboy draws all his strength and throws his final gun, the sniper rifle, into the portal. It closes just after the gun enters”
Aliboy= Life sucks…….why does it always have to kick you when…….
“Aliboy dies before he finishes the sentence……”
THE…..END
Drunk
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*Aug. 9, 2002/11:00pm*
“AfroJoe is working overnight along in a huge damp lightless factory in London fixing a wall panel”
AfroJoe= Why does the boss always have to pick me to repair damaged panels. He could of at least left the lights on for I could work while seeing!
“AfroJoe’s lack of sight makes him mistakenly jam a screwdriver deep inside the wall panel and wrecking it beyond repair.”
AfroJoe= Now I had enough of this rubbish!!! It’s time for a smoke.
“AfroJoe takes out his old fashion pipe and lights it with his lighter. The gentle smoke from the pipe rises and it clouds the roof of the factory. After a couple of minutes of smoking, for some reason the smoke does not escape through the small windows but instead flooded the big factory until nothing was seen except smoke”
AfroJoe= What’s happening!!!! “cough cough” I can’t “cough” see!!!!!
“Loud flash noises surrounded AfroJoe. AfroJoe knows if the smoke continued he’d die so he crouches down to the floor and awaits death”
AfroJoe= It must be the drugs. This “cough” can’t be happening. Life sucks!!! Why does it always have to kick you when your down. I might as well stop suffering.
“AfroJoe takes out his gun that he leaves in his back pocket just in case he gets any late night encounters and points it close to his head. He holds his breath and grips tighter on the trigger until suddenly all the smoke seemed to be sucked in by one direction. Almost immediately most of the smoke cleared and AfroJoe could see what was drawing the smoke in even with the little light in the room”
AfroJoe= What in the world!!! It-It’s a portal pulling it in!!! I will die today wont I.
“All the smoke clears. The portal then emits dark beams and something gets thrown out of it. AfroJoe points his gun at the creature now lays on the floor in fear as he realizes it’s human resemblance”
AfroJoe= I will kill you if I need to, you…..thing….
Aliboy= I’m laying on the floor bruised and hurt and you think I am such a threat that you are willing to kill me.
“The creature stands up and AfroJoe sees him perfectly. He did look human but was obviously far from it. His skin was gray and he wore a black tunic that went down to his knees. He also had strange metal lining around his mouth”
Aliboy= What is that thing you point at me?
AfroJoe= Don’t play stupid with me thing! It’s a gun!!! Now tell me what you are before I blow your face straight off your shoulders!
Aliboy= I’m HUMAN YOU FOOL!! Do you really suppose there isn’t human life in other galaxies besides this puny one!!!
AfroJoe= Your not human!! Look at your skin.
Aliboy= I am aware of my skin color. It is due to the lack of a sun like what you humans call your star that provides light.
“AfroJoe puts his gun down”
AfroJoe= Sorry, aggression is like a drug to me. But what is more of a drug is……well the drugs I take.
Aliboy= Drugs?
AfroJoe= Hmm, you must be as confused as me. Why are you here?
Aliboy= Do you really want me to tell you that right now. I don’t have much time.
“AfroJoe puts his gun back up and points it at Aliboy”
Aliboy= Whatever that thing is I’m not afraid of it. I’ll tell you why I’m here at my own will then. My name is Aliboy and I’m part of a organization in my galaxy called Cybering Online Enforcing Corporation, COEC for short…
AfroJoe= Cybering Online? Do you know what that means on earth?
Aliboy= Using technology as a form of doing everything?
AfroJoe= Something like that.
Aliboy= Like I was saying COEC is a group that enforces the laws we have on our galaxy and we have enough technology to pass threw dimensions. Some people crave this technology to go to other weaker galaxies like his one and conquer it. While I was repairing my Poo one day…
AfroJoe= “giggle” Poo.
Aliboy= Poos are these things I have on my lips. They shoot out a beam of light that can pierce through organs. All people from my galaxy have them.
AfroJoe= Understood. You got poo on your lips.
Aliboy= Exactly. So continuing from where I left off I was repairing my poo and fiendish bandit named Meka Dragon came behind me and kicked me in the head causing me to faint. Then he stole the disc that I use to switch dimensions that I had in my tunic pocket. When I awoke I tried to find a way to follow Meka Dragon and found out that I need a place on the galaxy he went to that had enough space and plenty of carbon monoxide and other dangerous chemicals for I could convert the chemicals into a portal that I could use to get here. And when I did that I ended up here. But I can’t get back without taking back my disc. And also I have to kill Meka Dragon for he can’t return to our planet.
“AfroJoe stumbles because he is falling asleep due to the boring lecture”
AfroJoe= Um….can’t you just go through that portal that you came out of.
Aliboy= That is a dark portal made by chemicals it will die out as soon as your sun will come out in the morning. How did you get all those chemicals anyway.
AfroJoe= I was smoking my joint.
Aliboy= …..Righty-O…….Can you help me with some people. Meka Dragon has 3 minions and they should be looking for me.
AfroJoe= You have a pair of Poo. Why can’t you just blast them?
Aliboy= Our weapons don’t work on Earth.
AfroJoe= Forget that poo then. Here have this and use it well.
“AfroJoe extends his hand and gives Aliboy his 9mm gun”
Aliboy= I will try to use it! Now lets start walking. We can’t risk a battle going on in here where that portal can be disturbed.
“Aliboy and a pretty stoned AfroJoe walk out of the factory together and enter the night streets of London”
Aliboy= These streets are too narrow we need to get somewhere more open before someone arrives to….
“Out of the sky comes a female ninja that’s skin resembled Aliboy’s. She wore tight dark pants and a hooded ninja tunic”
AfroJoe= Dude……
Aliboy= Earth dweller even though she is what you people call…. a fine sexy bird…, she can’t be underestimated!!!
“AfroJoe purrs at the ninja”
Mystique= I am Mystique the minion of…
AfroJoe= Yea, everyone knows who you are already. Now just come over here and give me some love.
Mystique= Stop that.
AfroJoe= Oh your delicious.
Mystique= Stop it.
AfroJoe= I want to kiss you where you keep your poo.
Mystique= THAT’S ENOUGH!!!! Get ready to die!
“Mystique jumps up in the air and drop kicks AfroJoe causing him to fly backward breaking threw a building wall”
AfroJoe=Uh……. Aliboy……do…..something.
Aliboy= She is way to strong. I couldn’t beat her if I tried.
AfroJoe= Aliboy…use the gun…..
“Aliboy realizes he had put the gun in his shirt and takes it out and point’s it at Mystique”
Mystique= HAHAHAHAHA, you expect to kill me with an earth weapon!
Aliboy= Earth dweller she is right!!! I don’t know how to use this!!!
AfroJoe= First…..you…need to…
Aliboy= Wait, I know how to use it now!!
“Aliboy throws the gun at Mystiques face causing her to wince”
Mystique= Uhh…… How truly effective that weapon is.
AfroJoe= Close….enough.
“Aliboy dives for the gun that fell on the floor after impact and points it at Mystique again”
Mystique= DIE!!!
“Mystique does a flip and then kicks Aliboy in the face. Aliboy flinches and starts to bleed”
Aliboy= Ahhh!!!!
“Aliboy throws the gun at Mystique’s face again and she starts bleeding”
Mystique= …
“Mytique starts to stumble around. Aliboy quickly picks up the gun and throws at her once again. She falls on the floor dead”
Aliboy= Guns work. Earth dweller did you see that?
“Aliboy takes a look at AfroJoe and sees that he is slowly dieing while slouched down near the wall he got thrown threw. Aliboy rushes right next him”
Aliboy= Earth dweller?!?!??!? Earth dweller?!?!?!?!?
AfroJoe= My…..name…is…..AfroJoe
Aiboy= Okay AfroJoe! Just DON’T die!!!!
AfroJoe= I have a huge……..supply of guns……in my house. Learn…. How....to…. use them PROPERLY…….here are…..my keys…..the address is imprinted on….the key…
“AfroJoe hands a pair of keys to Aliboy with his shaky arms”
AfroJoe= One….more….thing……Aliboy.
Aliboy= What AfroJoe!!! What???
AfroJoe=….You’re…..You’re…..
Aliboy= Speak!!! Speak!!!
AfroJoe= You’re……..steeping on my groin……get off now.
Aliboy= Oh….Ick….
“Aliboy steps back and AfroJoe dies seconds after”
Aliboy= Noooooooooo!!!! How many more earth dwellers will fall from the hand of Meka Dragon!!!
“Aliboy looks at the keys that lay in his hands and reads the address carefully”
Aliboy= Meka Dragon will pay……….
*Aug. 10, 2002/1:00am*
“Aliboy had walked all the way threw the narrow streets of London and reaches AfroJoe’s house. He stands in front of it looking at the keys as night birds chirp in nearby trees”
Aliboy= AfroJoe said to learn how to use guns and I will. I will learn how to wield guns perfectly. No one will beat me!!!
“Aliboy walks forward and uses the key to open the front door. He then turns the knob slowly and as soon as he inches in he sees a vast multitude of different guns”
Aliboy= So many guns. I could see AfroJoe wasn’t mush of the outdoor type.
“Aliboy inches up AfroJoe’s stairs. Again he sees a huge amount of guns. From 9mm to rifles to AK47s to bazookas”
Aliboy= AfroJoe died due to my carelessness. If I would of help instead of just standing there, he would be along side me right now.
“Aliboy hears quite footsteps from downstairs. Aliboy freezes in his tracks and tries to not move”
BEARDS.= My tracking device has led me straight to this location Aliboy. I know that you’re here. Stop trying to resist death.
“Aliboy turns tries to turn around not making noise but he tips a sniper rifle off an end table which makes a loud bang against the floor”
BEARDS.= There you are!!! Now you’re mine!!!
“BEARDS races up the stairs as Aliboy looks around nervously to find an escape but it was too late. BEARDS then shown before him, he had greenish gray skin and he wore a white sorceress gown with a ripped white long sleeved shirt”
BEARDS.= Too late Aliboy. I am BEARDS the sorceress. There is really nothing you could do now. I called Kyz22 to come for reinforcements just in case if I get bored of killing you. My magic can burn you to the bone and all you have to defend yourself is….nothing….hehe.
Aliboy= That’s when you’re wrong.
BEARDS.= I’m not Mystique, Aliboy. I never die!
Aliboy= I don’t listen to men that wear dresses!!!!!
BEARDS.= This is a sorceress gown!!!!
Aliboy= Oh, yea, right….
BEARDS.= You will die!
“BEARDS powers up a fire ball in his hand while he chants a spell. He unleashes it shortly but Aliboy had dived out of the way. Aliboy then picks up a rifle and throws it to BEARDS’ stomach”
BEARDS.= Ack!!! Take this!!!
“BEARDS again powers up a fireball but this one was much more superior. He unleashes it upon Aliboy but again he dodges. The fireball causes the floor to shake violently until it finally collapses and the whole second floor gets caved in. Aliboy and BEARDS fall but recover quickly. Aliboy picks up two more rifles”
BEARDS.= Swift ain’t we.
Aliboy= You’re not so bad yourself.
“Aliboy throws one of the rifles but BEARDS shoots a quick fireball at it and it turns to ashes. BEARDS then charges up another fireball but during the wait of the charging Aliboy spears the other rifle into BEARDS stomach”
BEARDS.= Uh.uh..uh…..”takes out a communicator” Kyz22…….come noww.
“BEARDS then dies and stays on the floor”
Aliboy= Kyz22?……. By the numbers I think that is a name of a robot. But I never knew Meka Dragon had a robot minion……What am I still doing here!!! I need to leave before he arrives!!!
“Aliboy picks up a 3sniper rifles, 4 9mms, and 1 bazooka and straps it to his body. He runs out the door then realizes he has no idea where he needs to go. He was lost. He stood still clueless for a long when suddenly next to him, red circular light rings rose from the ground and went to the sky. Then out of the rings came out a red robot. It’s eyes were lifeless and tubes were scattered all over his body”
Kyz22= HELLO HUMAN ALIBOY. I HAVE BEEN SENT TO DESTROY YOU.
Aliboy= You talk funny.
Kyz22= YOU SMELL.
“Kyz22 extends his arms front and a sharp sword then sprouts out of his left hand”
Kyz22= BUZZ BUZZ
“Kyz22 speeds toward Aliboy and swipes his chest leaving a deep bloody wound”
Aliboy= AHHHHHHH!!!
“Aliboy takes out on of his sniper rifles and uses the long gun as a sword by running back at Kyz22 and hitting him over the head. Sadly no damage was done”
Kyz22= RESISTANCE IS FUTIAL!!!
“Aliboy tries over and over beating Kyz22 all around but the robot doesn’t even move. Kyz22 then swipes his sword again and slices anther deep wound in Aliboy’s chest. Kyz22 swipes again but Aliboy blocks it using his sniper rifle”
Kyz22= BUZZ?
Aliboy= Let’s fence!!
“Aliboy puts all his strength into one blow to Kyz22’s left arm. The impact causes only a few pieces to fly off”
Kyz22= I’M TOO STRONG FOR YOU!
Aliboy= Actually I did what I wanted to do already.
Kyz22= BUZZ?
“Aliboy then jams his rifle into the hole that he left in his arm. Electricity then runs through Kyz22 body and transfers some to Aliboy as well”
Kyz22= MUST…….RETURN TO BASE!
“Kyz22 presses a button on his torso and the red rings circle around the robot and Aliboy. As the rings circle around them faster the pain becomes more unbearable”
Aliboy= AHHHHHHHHH!!
“Aliboy kicks Kyz22 out of the way in hope that the rings will go away but instead as soon as he kicked Kyz22 out of the way of the rings, Aliboy gets transported. He was now somewhere so dark that he couldn’t see his hand in front of his face”
Aliboy= The rings were a transporter! And it took me…..to hell…
Meka Dragon= This isn’t hell you fool. This is my earth base! I have been studying your actions Aliboy. I have caught onto your “gun using abilities”. And I got my hands on a reasonable amount of guns myself.
“The lights turn on and Aliboy finds himself in the middle of a circular room with the walls covered with a multitude of guns. Aliboy turns around and sees Meka Dragon standing a few feet away holding a Cougar Magnum in one hand and a grenade launcher in the other. He wore a black leather jacket and baggy gray pants. His skin was very pale white. A piece of string hung around his neck with a disc tied on it”
Aliboy= This will prove to be interesting.
“Aliboy picks up one of his sniper rifles and throws it at Meka Dragon. He stumbles on impact then throws his Magnum at Aliboy. He jumps up in the air to get away from his attack but then while he was airborne Meka Dragon throws his grenade launcher causing Aliboy to fly backwards and hitting a wall full of guns”
Aliboy= Uhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Meka Dragon= Pathetic.
“Meka Dragon walks to one of the walls and picks up a rifle and a 9mm. Aliboy gets up and starts throwing all 4 this 9mm at him rapidly. Meka Dragon tumbles on the floor. He gets up immediately and runs to one of the walls again. He presses a hidden button and a door opens. A human hostage walks out and Meka puts him in a choke hold using him as a human shield”
Aliboy= Don’t worry earth dweller!! I am part of COEC!
Hostage= Coke!!! Psst…..I prefer Pepsi…
Aliboy= You guys killed AfroJoe, but no more earth dwellers will die.
“Aliboy draws his bazooka and throws it directly at Meka’s head. Meka Dragon falls on the floor dieing and the hostage runs off. Aliboy then walks up to him and picks up his bazooka again”
Aliboy= Now….you die!
Meka Dragon= Now……….WE die!
“Meka Dragon reaches for the disc on his neck and snaps it in two. Meka then dies”
Aliboy= Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! My only chance of living this planet is destroyed!
“Aliboy drops his bazooka to the floor and looks down in disappointment”
Aliboy=…..The chemical portal!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Aliboy runs out the secret door and tries to find the factory”
*Aug. 10, 2002/6:30am*
“Aliboy runs as fast as he can through the London streets. He turns a corner and finds the factory along with AfroJoe’s dead body next to it”
Aliboy= There!!!!
“Aliboy runs forward and enters the factory. He sees the portal as good as new but he knew that the sun was about to come up and it will soon disappear. He speeds to it but suddenly Kyz22 jumps in his way”
Aliboy= Get out of MY WAY!!!!!!
Kyz22= SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED…..5……4……3…..2…..
“Aliboy sees Kyz22’s plan and dies toward the portal”
Kyz22= 1…..0……RRZZ RZZZ…
“Kyz22 lets out a devastating explosion, Aliboy is a few feet away from the portal……..the explosion catches up to him and he flies out of the way. He gets blown to the west corridor and sees the sun come up through the window. As he burns from the explosion he sees the portal slowly disappear”
Aliboy= I failed……..but I must pass on my name…and ways….
“Aliboy draws all his strength and throws his final gun, the sniper rifle, into the portal. It closes just after the gun enters”
Aliboy= Life sucks…….why does it always have to kick you when…….
“Aliboy dies before he finishes the sentence……”
THE…..END
Drunk
Page:
I made this story to be an action sort of thing. Not as much comedy as other spoofs.
--------------------------------------------------
*Aug. 9, 2002/11:00pm*
“AfroJoe is working overnight along in a huge damp lightless factory in London fixing a wall panel”
AfroJoe= Why does the boss always have to pick me to repair damaged panels. He could of at least left the lights on for I could work while seeing!
“AfroJoe’s lack of sight makes him mistakenly jam a screwdriver deep inside the wall panel and wrecking it beyond repair.”
AfroJoe= Now I had enough of this rubbish!!! It’s time for a smoke.
“AfroJoe takes out his old fashion pipe and lights it with his lighter. The gentle smoke from the pipe rises and it clouds the roof of the factory. After a couple of minutes of smoking, for some reason the smoke does not escape through the small windows but instead flooded the big factory until nothing was seen except smoke”
AfroJoe= What’s happening!!!! “cough cough” I can’t “cough” see!!!!!
“Loud flash noises surrounded AfroJoe. AfroJoe knows if the smoke continued he’d die so he crouches down to the floor and awaits death”
AfroJoe= It must be the drugs. This “cough” can’t be happening. Life sucks!!! Why does it always have to kick you when your down. I might as well stop suffering.
“AfroJoe takes out his gun that he leaves in his back pocket just in case he gets any late night encounters and points it close to his head. He holds his breath and grips tighter on the trigger until suddenly all the smoke seemed to be sucked in by one direction. Almost immediately most of the smoke cleared and AfroJoe could see what was drawing the smoke in even with the little light in the room”
AfroJoe= What in the world!!! It-It’s a portal pulling it in!!! I will die today wont I.
“All the smoke clears. The portal then emits dark beams and something gets thrown out of it. AfroJoe points his gun at the creature now lays on the floor in fear as he realizes it’s human resemblance”
AfroJoe= I will kill you if I need to, you…..thing….
Aliboy= I’m laying on the floor bruised and hurt and you think I am such a threat that you are willing to kill me.
“The creature stands up and AfroJoe sees him perfectly. He did look human but was obviously far from it. His skin was gray and he wore a black tunic that went down to his knees. He also had strange metal lining around his mouth”
Aliboy= What is that thing you point at me?
AfroJoe= Don’t play stupid with me thing! It’s a gun!!! Now tell me what you are before I blow your face straight off your shoulders!
Aliboy= I’m HUMAN YOU FOOL!! Do you really suppose there isn’t human life in other galaxies besides this puny one!!!
AfroJoe= Your not human!! Look at your skin.
Aliboy= I am aware of my skin color. It is due to the lack of a sun like what you humans call your star that provides light.
“AfroJoe puts his gun down”
AfroJoe= Sorry, aggression is like a drug to me. But what is more of a drug is……well the drugs I take.
Aliboy= Drugs?
AfroJoe= Hmm, you must be as confused as me. Why are you here?
Aliboy= Do you really want me to tell you that right now. I don’t have much time.
“AfroJoe puts his gun back up and points it at Aliboy”
Aliboy= Whatever that thing is I’m not afraid of it. I’ll tell you why I’m here at my own will then. My name is Aliboy and I’m part of a organization in my galaxy called Cybering Online Enforcing Corporation, COEC for short…
AfroJoe= Cybering Online? Do you know what that means on earth?
Aliboy= Using technology as a form of doing everything?
AfroJoe= Something like that.
Aliboy= Like I was saying COEC is a group that enforces the laws we have on our galaxy and we have enough technology to pass threw dimensions. Some people crave this technology to go to other weaker galaxies like his one and conquer it. While I was repairing my Poo one day…
AfroJoe= “giggle” Poo.
Aliboy= Poos are these things I have on my lips. They shoot out a beam of light that can pierce through organs. All people from my galaxy have them.
AfroJoe= Understood. You got poo on your lips.
Aliboy= Exactly. So continuing from where I left off I was repairing my poo and fiendish bandit named Meka Dragon came behind me and kicked me in the head causing me to faint. Then he stole the disc that I use to switch dimensions that I had in my tunic pocket. When I awoke I tried to find a way to follow Meka Dragon and found out that I need a place on the galaxy he went to that had enough space and plenty of carbon monoxide and other dangerous chemicals for I could convert the chemicals into a portal that I could use to get here. And when I did that I ended up here. But I can’t get back without taking back my disc. And also I have to kill Meka Dragon for he can’t return to our planet.
“AfroJoe stumbles because he is falling asleep due to the boring lecture”
AfroJoe= Um….can’t you just go through that portal that you came out of.
Aliboy= That is a dark portal made by chemicals it will die out as soon as your sun will come out in the morning. How did you get all those chemicals anyway.
AfroJoe= I was smoking my joint.
Aliboy= …..Righty-O…….Can you help me with some people. Meka Dragon has 3 minions and they should be looking for me.
AfroJoe= You have a pair of Poo. Why can’t you just blast them?
Aliboy= Our weapons don’t work on Earth.
AfroJoe= Forget that poo then. Here have this and use it well.
“AfroJoe extends his hand and gives Aliboy his 9mm gun”
Aliboy= I will try to use it! Now lets start walking. We can’t risk a battle going on in here where that portal can be disturbed.
“Aliboy and a pretty stoned AfroJoe walk out of the factory together and enter the night streets of London”
Aliboy= These streets are too narrow we need to get somewhere more open before someone arrives to….
“Out of the sky comes a female ninja that’s skin resembled Aliboy’s. She wore tight dark pants and a hooded ninja tunic”
AfroJoe= Dude……
Aliboy= Earth dweller even though she is what you people call…. a fine sexy bird…, she can’t be underestimated!!!
“AfroJoe purrs at the ninja”
Mystique= I am Mystique the minion of…
AfroJoe= Yea, everyone knows who you are already. Now just come over here and give me some love.
Mystique= Stop that.
AfroJoe= Oh your delicious.
Mystique= Stop it.
AfroJoe= I want to kiss you where you keep your poo.
Mystique= THAT’S ENOUGH!!!! Get ready to die!
“Mystique jumps up in the air and drop kicks AfroJoe causing him to fly backward breaking threw a building wall”
AfroJoe=Uh……. Aliboy……do…..something.
Aliboy= She is way to strong. I couldn’t beat her if I tried.
AfroJoe= Aliboy…use the gun…..
“Aliboy realizes he had put the gun in his shirt and takes it out and point’s it at Mystique”
Mystique= HAHAHAHAHA, you expect to kill me with an earth weapon!
Aliboy= Earth dweller she is right!!! I don’t know how to use this!!!
AfroJoe= First…..you…need to…
Aliboy= Wait, I know how to use it now!!
“Aliboy throws the gun at Mystiques face causing her to wince”
Mystique= Uhh…… How truly effective that weapon is.
AfroJoe= Close….enough.
“Aliboy dives for the gun that fell on the floor after impact and points it at Mystique again”
Mystique= DIE!!!
“Mystique does a flip and then kicks Aliboy in the face. Aliboy flinches and starts to bleed”
Aliboy= Ahhh!!!!
“Aliboy throws the gun at Mystique’s face again and she starts bleeding”
Mystique= …
“Mytique starts to stumble around. Aliboy quickly picks up the gun and throws at her once again. She falls on the floor dead”
Aliboy= Guns work. Earth dweller did you see that?
“Aliboy takes a look at AfroJoe and sees that he is slowly dieing while slouched down near the wall he got thrown threw. Aliboy rushes right next him”
Aliboy= Earth dweller?!?!??!? Earth dweller?!?!?!?!?
AfroJoe= My…..name…is…..AfroJoe
Aiboy= Okay AfroJoe! Just DON’T die!!!!
AfroJoe= I have a huge……..supply of guns……in my house. Learn…. How....to…. use them PROPERLY…….here are…..my keys…..the address is imprinted on….the key…
“AfroJoe hands a pair of keys to Aliboy with his shaky arms”
AfroJoe= One….more….thing……Aliboy.
Aliboy= What AfroJoe!!! What???
AfroJoe=….You’re…..You’re…..
Aliboy= Speak!!! Speak!!!
AfroJoe= You’re……..steeping on my groin……get off now.
Aliboy= Oh….Ick….
“Aliboy steps back and AfroJoe dies seconds after”
Aliboy= Noooooooooo!!!! How many more earth dwellers will fall from the hand of Meka Dragon!!!
“Aliboy looks at the keys that lay in his hands and reads the address carefully”
Aliboy= Meka Dragon will pay……….
*Aug. 10, 2002/1:00am*
“Aliboy had walked all the way threw the narrow streets of London and reaches AfroJoe’s house. He stands in front of it looking at the keys as night birds chirp in nearby trees”
Aliboy= AfroJoe said to learn how to use guns and I will. I will learn how to wield guns perfectly. No one will beat me!!!
“Aliboy walks forward and uses the key to open the front door. He then turns the knob slowly and as soon as he inches in he sees a vast multitude of different guns”
Aliboy= So many guns. I could see AfroJoe wasn’t mush of the outdoor type.
“Aliboy inches up AfroJoe’s stairs. Again he sees a huge amount of guns. From 9mm to rifles to AK47s to bazookas”
Aliboy= AfroJoe died due to my carelessness. If I would of help instead of just standing there, he would be along side me right now.
“Aliboy hears quite footsteps from downstairs. Aliboy freezes in his tracks and tries to not move”
BEARDS.= My tracking device has led me straight to this location Aliboy. I know that you’re here. Stop trying to resist death.
“Aliboy turns tries to turn around not making noise but he tips a sniper rifle off an end table which makes a loud bang against the floor”
BEARDS.= There you are!!! Now you’re mine!!!
“BEARDS races up the stairs as Aliboy looks around nervously to find an escape but it was too late. BEARDS then shown before him, he had greenish gray skin and he wore a white sorceress gown with a ripped white long sleeved shirt”
BEARDS.= Too late Aliboy. I am BEARDS the sorceress. There is really nothing you could do now. I called Kyz22 to come for reinforcements just in case if I get bored of killing you. My magic can burn you to the bone and all you have to defend yourself is….nothing….hehe.
Aliboy= That’s when you’re wrong.
BEARDS.= I’m not Mystique, Aliboy. I never die!
Aliboy= I don’t listen to men that wear dresses!!!!!
BEARDS.= This is a sorceress gown!!!!
Aliboy= Oh, yea, right….
BEARDS.= You will die!
“BEARDS powers up a fire ball in his hand while he chants a spell. He unleashes it shortly but Aliboy had dived out of the way. Aliboy then picks up a rifle and throws it to BEARDS’ stomach”
BEARDS.= Ack!!! Take this!!!
“BEARDS again powers up a fireball but this one was much more superior. He unleashes it upon Aliboy but again he dodges. The fireball causes the floor to shake violently until it finally collapses and the whole second floor gets caved in. Aliboy and BEARDS fall but recover quickly. Aliboy picks up two more rifles”
BEARDS.= Swift ain’t we.
Aliboy= You’re not so bad yourself.
“Aliboy throws one of the rifles but BEARDS shoots a quick fireball at it and it turns to ashes. BEARDS then charges up another fireball but during the wait of the charging Aliboy spears the other rifle into BEARDS stomach”
BEARDS.= Uh.uh..uh…..”takes out a communicator” Kyz22…….come noww.
“BEARDS then dies and stays on the floor”
Aliboy= Kyz22?……. By the numbers I think that is a name of a robot. But I never knew Meka Dragon had a robot minion……What am I still doing here!!! I need to leave before he arrives!!!
“Aliboy picks up a 3sniper rifles, 4 9mms, and 1 bazooka and straps it to his body. He runs out the door then realizes he has no idea where he needs to go. He was lost. He stood still clueless for a long when suddenly next to him, red circular light rings rose from the ground and went to the sky. Then out of the rings came out a red robot. It’s eyes were lifeless and tubes were scattered all over his body”
Kyz22= HELLO HUMAN ALIBOY. I HAVE BEEN SENT TO DESTROY YOU.
Aliboy= You talk funny.
Kyz22= YOU SMELL.
“Kyz22 extends his arms front and a sharp sword then sprouts out of his left hand”
Kyz22= BUZZ BUZZ
“Kyz22 speeds toward Aliboy and swipes his chest leaving a deep bloody wound”
Aliboy= AHHHHHHH!!!
“Aliboy takes out on of his sniper rifles and uses the long gun as a sword by running back at Kyz22 and hitting him over the head. Sadly no damage was done”
Kyz22= RESISTANCE IS FUTIAL!!!
“Aliboy tries over and over beating Kyz22 all around but the robot doesn’t even move. Kyz22 then swipes his sword again and slices anther deep wound in Aliboy’s chest. Kyz22 swipes again but Aliboy blocks it using his sniper rifle”
Kyz22= BUZZ?
Aliboy= Let’s fence!!
“Aliboy puts all his strength into one blow to Kyz22’s left arm. The impact causes only a few pieces to fly off”
Kyz22= I’M TOO STRONG FOR YOU!
Aliboy= Actually I did what I wanted to do already.
Kyz22= BUZZ?
“Aliboy then jams his rifle into the hole that he left in his arm. Electricity then runs through Kyz22 body and transfers some to Aliboy as well”
Kyz22= MUST…….RETURN TO BASE!
“Kyz22 presses a button on his torso and the red rings circle around the robot and Aliboy. As the rings circle around them faster the pain becomes more unbearable”
Aliboy= AHHHHHHHHH!!
“Aliboy kicks Kyz22 out of the way in hope that the rings will go away but instead as soon as he kicked Kyz22 out of the way of the rings, Aliboy gets transported. He was now somewhere so dark that he couldn’t see his hand in front of his face”
Aliboy= The rings were a transporter! And it took me…..to hell…
Meka Dragon= This isn’t hell you fool. This is my earth base! I have been studying your actions Aliboy. I have caught onto your “gun using abilities”. And I got my hands on a reasonable amount of guns myself.
“The lights turn on and Aliboy finds himself in the middle of a circular room with the walls covered with a multitude of guns. Aliboy turns around and sees Meka Dragon standing a few feet away holding a Cougar Magnum in one hand and a grenade launcher in the other. He wore a black leather jacket and baggy gray pants. His skin was very pale white. A piece of string hung around his neck with a disc tied on it”
Aliboy= This will prove to be interesting.
“Aliboy picks up one of his sniper rifles and throws it at Meka Dragon. He stumbles on impact then throws his Magnum at Aliboy. He jumps up in the air to get away from his attack but then while he was airborne Meka Dragon throws his grenade launcher causing Aliboy to fly backwards and hitting a wall full of guns”
Aliboy= Uhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Meka Dragon= Pathetic.
“Meka Dragon walks to one of the walls and picks up a rifle and a 9mm. Aliboy gets up and starts throwing all 4 this 9mm at him rapidly. Meka Dragon tumbles on the floor. He gets up immediately and runs to one of the walls again. He presses a hidden button and a door opens. A human hostage walks out and Meka puts him in a choke hold using him as a human shield”
Aliboy= Don’t worry earth dweller!! I am part of COEC!
Hostage= Coke!!! Psst…..I prefer Pepsi…
Aliboy= You guys killed AfroJoe, but no more earth dwellers will die.
“Aliboy draws his bazooka and throws it directly at Meka’s head. Meka Dragon falls on the floor dieing and the hostage runs off. Aliboy then walks up to him and picks up his bazooka again”
Aliboy= Now….you die!
Meka Dragon= Now……….WE die!
“Meka Dragon reaches for the disc on his neck and snaps it in two. Meka then dies”
Aliboy= Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! My only chance of living this planet is destroyed!
“Aliboy drops his bazooka to the floor and looks down in disappointment”
Aliboy=…..The chemical portal!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Aliboy runs out the secret door and tries to find the factory”
*Aug. 10, 2002/6:30am*
“Aliboy runs as fast as he can through the London streets. He turns a corner and finds the factory along with AfroJoe’s dead body next to it”
Aliboy= There!!!!
“Aliboy runs forward and enters the factory. He sees the portal as good as new but he knew that the sun was about to come up and it will soon disappear. He speeds to it but suddenly Kyz22 jumps in his way”
Aliboy= Get out of MY WAY!!!!!!
Kyz22= SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED…..5……4……3…..2…..
“Aliboy sees Kyz22’s plan and dies toward the portal”
Kyz22= 1…..0……RRZZ RZZZ…
“Kyz22 lets out a devastating explosion, Aliboy is a few feet away from the portal……..the explosion catches up to him and he flies out of the way. He gets blown to the west corridor and sees the sun come up through the window. As he burns from the explosion he sees the portal slowly disappear”
Aliboy= I failed……..but I must pass on my name…and ways….
“Aliboy draws all his strength and throws his final gun, the sniper rifle, into the portal. It closes just after the gun enters”
Aliboy= Life sucks…….why does it always have to kick you when…….
“Aliboy dies before he finishes the sentence……”
THE…..END
Drunk
--------------------------------------------------
*Aug. 9, 2002/11:00pm*
“AfroJoe is working overnight along in a huge damp lightless factory in London fixing a wall panel”
AfroJoe= Why does the boss always have to pick me to repair damaged panels. He could of at least left the lights on for I could work while seeing!
“AfroJoe’s lack of sight makes him mistakenly jam a screwdriver deep inside the wall panel and wrecking it beyond repair.”
AfroJoe= Now I had enough of this rubbish!!! It’s time for a smoke.
“AfroJoe takes out his old fashion pipe and lights it with his lighter. The gentle smoke from the pipe rises and it clouds the roof of the factory. After a couple of minutes of smoking, for some reason the smoke does not escape through the small windows but instead flooded the big factory until nothing was seen except smoke”
AfroJoe= What’s happening!!!! “cough cough” I can’t “cough” see!!!!!
“Loud flash noises surrounded AfroJoe. AfroJoe knows if the smoke continued he’d die so he crouches down to the floor and awaits death”
AfroJoe= It must be the drugs. This “cough” can’t be happening. Life sucks!!! Why does it always have to kick you when your down. I might as well stop suffering.
“AfroJoe takes out his gun that he leaves in his back pocket just in case he gets any late night encounters and points it close to his head. He holds his breath and grips tighter on the trigger until suddenly all the smoke seemed to be sucked in by one direction. Almost immediately most of the smoke cleared and AfroJoe could see what was drawing the smoke in even with the little light in the room”
AfroJoe= What in the world!!! It-It’s a portal pulling it in!!! I will die today wont I.
“All the smoke clears. The portal then emits dark beams and something gets thrown out of it. AfroJoe points his gun at the creature now lays on the floor in fear as he realizes it’s human resemblance”
AfroJoe= I will kill you if I need to, you…..thing….
Aliboy= I’m laying on the floor bruised and hurt and you think I am such a threat that you are willing to kill me.
“The creature stands up and AfroJoe sees him perfectly. He did look human but was obviously far from it. His skin was gray and he wore a black tunic that went down to his knees. He also had strange metal lining around his mouth”
Aliboy= What is that thing you point at me?
AfroJoe= Don’t play stupid with me thing! It’s a gun!!! Now tell me what you are before I blow your face straight off your shoulders!
Aliboy= I’m HUMAN YOU FOOL!! Do you really suppose there isn’t human life in other galaxies besides this puny one!!!
AfroJoe= Your not human!! Look at your skin.
Aliboy= I am aware of my skin color. It is due to the lack of a sun like what you humans call your star that provides light.
“AfroJoe puts his gun down”
AfroJoe= Sorry, aggression is like a drug to me. But what is more of a drug is……well the drugs I take.
Aliboy= Drugs?
AfroJoe= Hmm, you must be as confused as me. Why are you here?
Aliboy= Do you really want me to tell you that right now. I don’t have much time.
“AfroJoe puts his gun back up and points it at Aliboy”
Aliboy= Whatever that thing is I’m not afraid of it. I’ll tell you why I’m here at my own will then. My name is Aliboy and I’m part of a organization in my galaxy called Cybering Online Enforcing Corporation, COEC for short…
AfroJoe= Cybering Online? Do you know what that means on earth?
Aliboy= Using technology as a form of doing everything?
AfroJoe= Something like that.
Aliboy= Like I was saying COEC is a group that enforces the laws we have on our galaxy and we have enough technology to pass threw dimensions. Some people crave this technology to go to other weaker galaxies like his one and conquer it. While I was repairing my Poo one day…
AfroJoe= “giggle” Poo.
Aliboy= Poos are these things I have on my lips. They shoot out a beam of light that can pierce through organs. All people from my galaxy have them.
AfroJoe= Understood. You got poo on your lips.
Aliboy= Exactly. So continuing from where I left off I was repairing my poo and fiendish bandit named Meka Dragon came behind me and kicked me in the head causing me to faint. Then he stole the disc that I use to switch dimensions that I had in my tunic pocket. When I awoke I tried to find a way to follow Meka Dragon and found out that I need a place on the galaxy he went to that had enough space and plenty of carbon monoxide and other dangerous chemicals for I could convert the chemicals into a portal that I could use to get here. And when I did that I ended up here. But I can’t get back without taking back my disc. And also I have to kill Meka Dragon for he can’t return to our planet.
“AfroJoe stumbles because he is falling asleep due to the boring lecture”
AfroJoe= Um….can’t you just go through that portal that you came out of.
Aliboy= That is a dark portal made by chemicals it will die out as soon as your sun will come out in the morning. How did you get all those chemicals anyway.
AfroJoe= I was smoking my joint.
Aliboy= …..Righty-O…….Can you help me with some people. Meka Dragon has 3 minions and they should be looking for me.
AfroJoe= You have a pair of Poo. Why can’t you just blast them?
Aliboy= Our weapons don’t work on Earth.
AfroJoe= Forget that poo then. Here have this and use it well.
“AfroJoe extends his hand and gives Aliboy his 9mm gun”
Aliboy= I will try to use it! Now lets start walking. We can’t risk a battle going on in here where that portal can be disturbed.
“Aliboy and a pretty stoned AfroJoe walk out of the factory together and enter the night streets of London”
Aliboy= These streets are too narrow we need to get somewhere more open before someone arrives to….
“Out of the sky comes a female ninja that’s skin resembled Aliboy’s. She wore tight dark pants and a hooded ninja tunic”
AfroJoe= Dude……
Aliboy= Earth dweller even though she is what you people call…. a fine sexy bird…, she can’t be underestimated!!!
“AfroJoe purrs at the ninja”
Mystique= I am Mystique the minion of…
AfroJoe= Yea, everyone knows who you are already. Now just come over here and give me some love.
Mystique= Stop that.
AfroJoe= Oh your delicious.
Mystique= Stop it.
AfroJoe= I want to kiss you where you keep your poo.
Mystique= THAT’S ENOUGH!!!! Get ready to die!
“Mystique jumps up in the air and drop kicks AfroJoe causing him to fly backward breaking threw a building wall”
AfroJoe=Uh……. Aliboy……do…..something.
Aliboy= She is way to strong. I couldn’t beat her if I tried.
AfroJoe= Aliboy…use the gun…..
“Aliboy realizes he had put the gun in his shirt and takes it out and point’s it at Mystique”
Mystique= HAHAHAHAHA, you expect to kill me with an earth weapon!
Aliboy= Earth dweller she is right!!! I don’t know how to use this!!!
AfroJoe= First…..you…need to…
Aliboy= Wait, I know how to use it now!!
“Aliboy throws the gun at Mystiques face causing her to wince”
Mystique= Uhh…… How truly effective that weapon is.
AfroJoe= Close….enough.
“Aliboy dives for the gun that fell on the floor after impact and points it at Mystique again”
Mystique= DIE!!!
“Mystique does a flip and then kicks Aliboy in the face. Aliboy flinches and starts to bleed”
Aliboy= Ahhh!!!!
“Aliboy throws the gun at Mystique’s face again and she starts bleeding”
Mystique= …
“Mytique starts to stumble around. Aliboy quickly picks up the gun and throws at her once again. She falls on the floor dead”
Aliboy= Guns work. Earth dweller did you see that?
“Aliboy takes a look at AfroJoe and sees that he is slowly dieing while slouched down near the wall he got thrown threw. Aliboy rushes right next him”
Aliboy= Earth dweller?!?!??!? Earth dweller?!?!?!?!?
AfroJoe= My…..name…is…..AfroJoe
Aiboy= Okay AfroJoe! Just DON’T die!!!!
AfroJoe= I have a huge……..supply of guns……in my house. Learn…. How....to…. use them PROPERLY…….here are…..my keys…..the address is imprinted on….the key…
“AfroJoe hands a pair of keys to Aliboy with his shaky arms”
AfroJoe= One….more….thing……Aliboy.
Aliboy= What AfroJoe!!! What???
AfroJoe=….You’re…..You’re…..
Aliboy= Speak!!! Speak!!!
AfroJoe= You’re……..steeping on my groin……get off now.
Aliboy= Oh….Ick….
“Aliboy steps back and AfroJoe dies seconds after”
Aliboy= Noooooooooo!!!! How many more earth dwellers will fall from the hand of Meka Dragon!!!
“Aliboy looks at the keys that lay in his hands and reads the address carefully”
Aliboy= Meka Dragon will pay……….
*Aug. 10, 2002/1:00am*
“Aliboy had walked all the way threw the narrow streets of London and reaches AfroJoe’s house. He stands in front of it looking at the keys as night birds chirp in nearby trees”
Aliboy= AfroJoe said to learn how to use guns and I will. I will learn how to wield guns perfectly. No one will beat me!!!
“Aliboy walks forward and uses the key to open the front door. He then turns the knob slowly and as soon as he inches in he sees a vast multitude of different guns”
Aliboy= So many guns. I could see AfroJoe wasn’t mush of the outdoor type.
“Aliboy inches up AfroJoe’s stairs. Again he sees a huge amount of guns. From 9mm to rifles to AK47s to bazookas”
Aliboy= AfroJoe died due to my carelessness. If I would of help instead of just standing there, he would be along side me right now.
“Aliboy hears quite footsteps from downstairs. Aliboy freezes in his tracks and tries to not move”
BEARDS.= My tracking device has led me straight to this location Aliboy. I know that you’re here. Stop trying to resist death.
“Aliboy turns tries to turn around not making noise but he tips a sniper rifle off an end table which makes a loud bang against the floor”
BEARDS.= There you are!!! Now you’re mine!!!
“BEARDS races up the stairs as Aliboy looks around nervously to find an escape but it was too late. BEARDS then shown before him, he had greenish gray skin and he wore a white sorceress gown with a ripped white long sleeved shirt”
BEARDS.= Too late Aliboy. I am BEARDS the sorceress. There is really nothing you could do now. I called Kyz22 to come for reinforcements just in case if I get bored of killing you. My magic can burn you to the bone and all you have to defend yourself is….nothing….hehe.
Aliboy= That’s when you’re wrong.
BEARDS.= I’m not Mystique, Aliboy. I never die!
Aliboy= I don’t listen to men that wear dresses!!!!!
BEARDS.= This is a sorceress gown!!!!
Aliboy= Oh, yea, right….
BEARDS.= You will die!
“BEARDS powers up a fire ball in his hand while he chants a spell. He unleashes it shortly but Aliboy had dived out of the way. Aliboy then picks up a rifle and throws it to BEARDS’ stomach”
BEARDS.= Ack!!! Take this!!!
“BEARDS again powers up a fireball but this one was much more superior. He unleashes it upon Aliboy but again he dodges. The fireball causes the floor to shake violently until it finally collapses and the whole second floor gets caved in. Aliboy and BEARDS fall but recover quickly. Aliboy picks up two more rifles”
BEARDS.= Swift ain’t we.
Aliboy= You’re not so bad yourself.
“Aliboy throws one of the rifles but BEARDS shoots a quick fireball at it and it turns to ashes. BEARDS then charges up another fireball but during the wait of the charging Aliboy spears the other rifle into BEARDS stomach”
BEARDS.= Uh.uh..uh…..”takes out a communicator” Kyz22…….come noww.
“BEARDS then dies and stays on the floor”
Aliboy= Kyz22?……. By the numbers I think that is a name of a robot. But I never knew Meka Dragon had a robot minion……What am I still doing here!!! I need to leave before he arrives!!!
“Aliboy picks up a 3sniper rifles, 4 9mms, and 1 bazooka and straps it to his body. He runs out the door then realizes he has no idea where he needs to go. He was lost. He stood still clueless for a long when suddenly next to him, red circular light rings rose from the ground and went to the sky. Then out of the rings came out a red robot. It’s eyes were lifeless and tubes were scattered all over his body”
Kyz22= HELLO HUMAN ALIBOY. I HAVE BEEN SENT TO DESTROY YOU.
Aliboy= You talk funny.
Kyz22= YOU SMELL.
“Kyz22 extends his arms front and a sharp sword then sprouts out of his left hand”
Kyz22= BUZZ BUZZ
“Kyz22 speeds toward Aliboy and swipes his chest leaving a deep bloody wound”
Aliboy= AHHHHHHH!!!
“Aliboy takes out on of his sniper rifles and uses the long gun as a sword by running back at Kyz22 and hitting him over the head. Sadly no damage was done”
Kyz22= RESISTANCE IS FUTIAL!!!
“Aliboy tries over and over beating Kyz22 all around but the robot doesn’t even move. Kyz22 then swipes his sword again and slices anther deep wound in Aliboy’s chest. Kyz22 swipes again but Aliboy blocks it using his sniper rifle”
Kyz22= BUZZ?
Aliboy= Let’s fence!!
“Aliboy puts all his strength into one blow to Kyz22’s left arm. The impact causes only a few pieces to fly off”
Kyz22= I’M TOO STRONG FOR YOU!
Aliboy= Actually I did what I wanted to do already.
Kyz22= BUZZ?
“Aliboy then jams his rifle into the hole that he left in his arm. Electricity then runs through Kyz22 body and transfers some to Aliboy as well”
Kyz22= MUST…….RETURN TO BASE!
“Kyz22 presses a button on his torso and the red rings circle around the robot and Aliboy. As the rings circle around them faster the pain becomes more unbearable”
Aliboy= AHHHHHHHHH!!
“Aliboy kicks Kyz22 out of the way in hope that the rings will go away but instead as soon as he kicked Kyz22 out of the way of the rings, Aliboy gets transported. He was now somewhere so dark that he couldn’t see his hand in front of his face”
Aliboy= The rings were a transporter! And it took me…..to hell…
Meka Dragon= This isn’t hell you fool. This is my earth base! I have been studying your actions Aliboy. I have caught onto your “gun using abilities”. And I got my hands on a reasonable amount of guns myself.
“The lights turn on and Aliboy finds himself in the middle of a circular room with the walls covered with a multitude of guns. Aliboy turns around and sees Meka Dragon standing a few feet away holding a Cougar Magnum in one hand and a grenade launcher in the other. He wore a black leather jacket and baggy gray pants. His skin was very pale white. A piece of string hung around his neck with a disc tied on it”
Aliboy= This will prove to be interesting.
“Aliboy picks up one of his sniper rifles and throws it at Meka Dragon. He stumbles on impact then throws his Magnum at Aliboy. He jumps up in the air to get away from his attack but then while he was airborne Meka Dragon throws his grenade launcher causing Aliboy to fly backwards and hitting a wall full of guns”
Aliboy= Uhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Meka Dragon= Pathetic.
“Meka Dragon walks to one of the walls and picks up a rifle and a 9mm. Aliboy gets up and starts throwing all 4 this 9mm at him rapidly. Meka Dragon tumbles on the floor. He gets up immediately and runs to one of the walls again. He presses a hidden button and a door opens. A human hostage walks out and Meka puts him in a choke hold using him as a human shield”
Aliboy= Don’t worry earth dweller!! I am part of COEC!
Hostage= Coke!!! Psst…..I prefer Pepsi…
Aliboy= You guys killed AfroJoe, but no more earth dwellers will die.
“Aliboy draws his bazooka and throws it directly at Meka’s head. Meka Dragon falls on the floor dieing and the hostage runs off. Aliboy then walks up to him and picks up his bazooka again”
Aliboy= Now….you die!
Meka Dragon= Now……….WE die!
“Meka Dragon reaches for the disc on his neck and snaps it in two. Meka then dies”
Aliboy= Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! My only chance of living this planet is destroyed!
“Aliboy drops his bazooka to the floor and looks down in disappointment”
Aliboy=…..The chemical portal!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Aliboy runs out the secret door and tries to find the factory”
*Aug. 10, 2002/6:30am*
“Aliboy runs as fast as he can through the London streets. He turns a corner and finds the factory along with AfroJoe’s dead body next to it”
Aliboy= There!!!!
“Aliboy runs forward and enters the factory. He sees the portal as good as new but he knew that the sun was about to come up and it will soon disappear. He speeds to it but suddenly Kyz22 jumps in his way”
Aliboy= Get out of MY WAY!!!!!!
Kyz22= SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED…..5……4……3…..2…..
“Aliboy sees Kyz22’s plan and dies toward the portal”
Kyz22= 1…..0……RRZZ RZZZ…
“Kyz22 lets out a devastating explosion, Aliboy is a few feet away from the portal……..the explosion catches up to him and he flies out of the way. He gets blown to the west corridor and sees the sun come up through the window. As he burns from the explosion he sees the portal slowly disappear”
Aliboy= I failed……..but I must pass on my name…and ways….
“Aliboy draws all his strength and throws his final gun, the sniper rifle, into the portal. It closes just after the gun enters”
Aliboy= Life sucks…….why does it always have to kick you when…….
“Aliboy dies before he finishes the sentence……”
THE…..END
Drunk
"AfroJoe= I want to kiss you where you keep your poo."
******
Holy crap
******
Holy crap
After seeing that bit Mystique cut out, I don't think I want to read this...
;-)
;-)
AfroJoe wrote:
> After seeing that bit Mystique cut out, I don't think I want to read
> this...
>
Yes, I'm going to stay well clear...
> After seeing that bit Mystique cut out, I don't think I want to read
> this...
>
Yes, I'm going to stay well clear...
Drunk that is far better than any spof you have ever done.
Lol, people, "Poo" is a device you put on your lips. it's not what it sounds like. lol.
Lol, people, "Poo" is a device you put on your lips. it's not what it sounds like. lol.
Dude! Guys this spoof has basically no comedy and it is action packed.
Thanks by the way lori.
Thanks by the way lori.
make the voices stop wrote:
> Drunk that is far better than any spof you have ever done.
>
> Lol, people, "Poo" is a device you put on your lips. it's
> not what it sounds like. lol.
---
Oh. Right.
:-D
> Drunk that is far better than any spof you have ever done.
>
> Lol, people, "Poo" is a device you put on your lips. it's
> not what it sounds like. lol.
---
Oh. Right.
:-D
Just read it AfroJoe!!!! You're the second to main character you know!!
Drunk Cow wrote:
> Just read it AfroJoe!!!! You're the second to main character you
> know!!
---
Yeah, I've read it. I always read something with me in it. :-D
Very good, indeed, but I like your comedy posts better.
They are genius. :-)
> Just read it AfroJoe!!!! You're the second to main character you
> know!!
---
Yeah, I've read it. I always read something with me in it. :-D
Very good, indeed, but I like your comedy posts better.
They are genius. :-)
Fair enough.;-D
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