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El Blokey - Hello, everyone, and welcome to SR news. Today we're covering a new sensation sweeping the nation (woo, that rhymed) something known as - nude gaming. We sent SR's very own reporter out to the streets to discover the truth behind this phenomenon.
*Cut to AfroJoe, holding a mic*
AfroJoe - Hello, my loyal worshippers, I'm out in the UK today to find out the truth behind the rumours of naked gaming. Time for some flashy graphics and shots of people talking!
Goatboy - Nude gaming? No... can't say I've ever heard of it.
AfroJoe - So you're naked, playing a GBA for another reason?
Goatboy - Yes... um... doctor's orders.
Grix Thraves - Nude gaming? Never 'eard of it.
AfroJoe - Alright, thank you.
Grix Thraves - Would you like to hear a poem?
AfroJoe - No.
Mystique - I'm naked all the time, not just when I'm playing my Barbie games, hur hur hur
Microchips - Oh yeah, I love nude gaming! Nothing better than sitting back on a leather sofa, in nothing but army boots, then firing up your PS2 for some fast paced action. Oh, wait... is my mum watching this?
AfroJoe - We're broadcasting coast to coast
Microchips - Um... I don't know what you're talking about! I don't play games naked! Get out of here, damn reporters!
½pint - Nude gaming? Yeah, I'm up for that. In fact, I'm naked on my photo at Special Observe.
AfroJoe - Oh, the one which shows your ginger hair?
½pint - I ain't ginger!!!
Hercules - He ain't ginger!
AfroJoe - Alright, alright... calm down.
AfroJoe - Well, there you have it. Some worthless opinions of people who don't matter. Now back to the studio.
*Back to El Blokey*
El Blokey - Thank you for that complete waste of time, AfroJoe. Very un-educational. I hear that we're about to go live to Edgy, who is on location at SR towers. Edgy?
*Cut to Edgy, holding a mic*
Edgy - Yeah, so I said to that damn Sony fanboy "Oh yeah? You and what army?" and he said- Woah! Hello, um... viewers... 'Tis I, Edgy, here at SR towers, trying to uncover the mystery of nude gaming. I'm here with Special Reserve head honcho - Tony, or as we lovingly know him as - Tonty.
Tony - Don't ever call me that again.
Edgy - Riiight... OK, Tony, what's your view on this nude gaming? How did it all come about? Any theories?
Tony - Well, we first discovered this trend when people kept emailing us pictures of themselves naked, playing games, for Snuggly's camera competition. We thought it was... a little strange, but, hey - can't knock the customers! Obviously we couldn't print any of these photos in the magazine, so we put them away in storage. In fact, I think Brad took them with him when he left... not quite sure why... yes, that's a little worrying, isn't it? Can you edit that bit out?
Edgy - We're going out live to millions of gamers across the country
Tony - I'll give you one of my cars
Edgy - I just told you- Oh, alright. Back to you, El Blokey
*Cut to El Blokey, asleep*
El Blokey - No... no... NO! I don't wanna.... go to school... teachers... all hate.... me... part of a... national conspiracy... against me
*He snaps out of it*
El Blokey - Oh, erm... Sorry, Edgy, I was asleep, but I'll just assume we didn't learn anything from your report either. What's that? I understand we're going to RM18, who is at Newcastle University... for some reason. RM18?
*Cut to RM19*
RM19 - That's RM19, moron.
El Blokey - Shut it.
RM19 - I'm live at Newcastle University, where the nerdy science students are carrying out tests on nude gamers... sort of like the Holocaust I would imagine.
*A bar appears under RM19, with his name*
RM19 - It's not RM18 anymore! I'm 19! 19 years old! RM19! 19! 19! Got that?
*The bar changes*
RM19 - That's better
*It changes again to "Loser"*
RM19 - 'Ave it!
*Cut to a student*
RM19 - So what do you do here?
Student - Ah, well, ya knaw, like, we're deeing experimunts on, like, gamers, ya knaw?
RM19 - I have no idea what you just said, but thank you.
*Cut to a scientific looking room, with a sofa, TV and console*
Student - This is a gamer playing Tomb Raider, ya knaw? As ya can see, he's not doing tee badly. Now, if wu take the same gamer, like, but take his clothes away - ah, as yuh can see, he's playing much better, like.
*The now naked gamer is jumping up and down on the sofa, playing furiously*
RM19 - Wow, it really is an improvement. But now he's just making Lara Croft jump up and down repeatedly... and what's he doing now? His hand is moving...
*The student blocks the camera*
Student - Erm... this is just, like, a side effect of nude gaming... Damn it, Bill, I told yuh not to get Tomb Raider!
RM19 - Well, this newscast just became pornographic, so back to the master of porn - El Blokey
*Cut to El Blokey*
El Blokey - Thank you, RM19, I'm sure we'll have the ITC knocking on our door within the next few minutes. Well, before we're pulled off the air, we're going to find out what the church thinks of this "nude gaming". OK, I understand the priest has backed out, after watching that last report... So, we're going to the next most qualified guy... Ant!
*Cut to a close-up of Ant*
Ant - Huh? What? On TV? Why? Oh, fair enough, I suppose payment in chocolate is good enough... Right, I'm Ant, and I'm here to tell you what I think of this nude gaming. Well, it's very wrong, morally, of course. Yes, we may have been BORN naked, but even Jesus was clothed after he was born, and he's about as holy as you can get. You don't need to be naked to play games! It's totally wrong! If you need to be naked to play well, or to feel comfortable, then there's something VERY wrong with you!
*The camera slowly zooms out, revealing Ant's naked body*
Ant - Yes, totally evil, totally wrong and...
*He pauses*
Ant - You haven't zoomed out, have you?
*The camera shakes a yes*
Ant - Ah... well... Hmm... I was just, like... trying it out, to see how, um... wrong and immoral it is! And now that I have seen what it's like to play games naked, I can safely say it is BAD! OK, are we off the air now? Can I get back to Tomb Raider?
*Cut to El Blokey, taking a swig from a bottle of gin. He notices the camera and wipes the gin from his mouth*
El Blokey - Um... Ha ha ha... ah, Ant, you'll slay us all. OK, we're almost out of time, here at SR news, but we have time for one more- No, wait... I'm getting word that monkey_man has a special report, live in Scotland... monkey_man?
*Cut to monkey_man, holding a mic close to his face*
monkey_man - (whispering) I'm here in Scotland, where we've had reports somebody is indulging in nude gaming as we speak. Follow me...
*The camera crew follow monkey_man as he opens the front door of a house and rushes in. The room slowly comes into focus, and SHEEPY is sat on a huge sofa, totally naked, surrounded by empty beer cans, playing games*
monkey_man - SHEEPY, SHEEPY! Can we have a word?
SHEEPY - (slurring his speech) Hey... who are you? Who said you could come in here, eh? Rargburbleschuuuurdefegy...
monkey_man - We can't help but notice that you're, well, rather naked... What's it like playing games this way?
SHEEPY - Rarbedyrarara *hiccup* lardyblairrblahprodringo... *burp* Hey! I... I didn't give permission for my face to be shown on... televisiooooon... Blur it ooout!
*A blur appears on SHEEPY's private parts*
SHEEPY - That's.... that's better! Urgghahararugh...
monkey_man - Are you alright? I noticed you're rather intoxicated...
SHEEPY - Aye... aye... aye... Beer! Raralakoko!
monkey_man - And you seem to be making up words as you go along.
SHEEPY - Yeah, greeeeeat, innit? So what was yer question... again?
monkey_man - Can I have a beer?
SHEEPY - Suuure! Get naked and we'll play... we'll play Tomb Raider together!
monkey_man - Oh, cheers!
*He cracks open a can of cheap lager*
monkey_man - (pulling his shoes off) This is monkey_man, reporting for SR news, saying goodbye!
*Cut to El Blokey*
El Blokey - Well, what a waste of effort that was. Tony's gonna cut our budget is we keep producing crap like this. Ah well, good night, everybody, hope you've enjoyed the show. I certainly haven't.
*El Blokey gets up from the desk, and walks off, showing that he has no pants on and has a GBA in his hand*
*Cut to AfroJoe, holding a mic*
AfroJoe - Hello, my loyal worshippers, I'm out in the UK today to find out the truth behind the rumours of naked gaming. Time for some flashy graphics and shots of people talking!
Goatboy - Nude gaming? No... can't say I've ever heard of it.
AfroJoe - So you're naked, playing a GBA for another reason?
Goatboy - Yes... um... doctor's orders.
Grix Thraves - Nude gaming? Never 'eard of it.
AfroJoe - Alright, thank you.
Grix Thraves - Would you like to hear a poem?
AfroJoe - No.
Mystique - I'm naked all the time, not just when I'm playing my Barbie games, hur hur hur
Microchips - Oh yeah, I love nude gaming! Nothing better than sitting back on a leather sofa, in nothing but army boots, then firing up your PS2 for some fast paced action. Oh, wait... is my mum watching this?
AfroJoe - We're broadcasting coast to coast
Microchips - Um... I don't know what you're talking about! I don't play games naked! Get out of here, damn reporters!
½pint - Nude gaming? Yeah, I'm up for that. In fact, I'm naked on my photo at Special Observe.
AfroJoe - Oh, the one which shows your ginger hair?
½pint - I ain't ginger!!!
Hercules - He ain't ginger!
AfroJoe - Alright, alright... calm down.
AfroJoe - Well, there you have it. Some worthless opinions of people who don't matter. Now back to the studio.
*Back to El Blokey*
El Blokey - Thank you for that complete waste of time, AfroJoe. Very un-educational. I hear that we're about to go live to Edgy, who is on location at SR towers. Edgy?
*Cut to Edgy, holding a mic*
Edgy - Yeah, so I said to that damn Sony fanboy "Oh yeah? You and what army?" and he said- Woah! Hello, um... viewers... 'Tis I, Edgy, here at SR towers, trying to uncover the mystery of nude gaming. I'm here with Special Reserve head honcho - Tony, or as we lovingly know him as - Tonty.
Tony - Don't ever call me that again.
Edgy - Riiight... OK, Tony, what's your view on this nude gaming? How did it all come about? Any theories?
Tony - Well, we first discovered this trend when people kept emailing us pictures of themselves naked, playing games, for Snuggly's camera competition. We thought it was... a little strange, but, hey - can't knock the customers! Obviously we couldn't print any of these photos in the magazine, so we put them away in storage. In fact, I think Brad took them with him when he left... not quite sure why... yes, that's a little worrying, isn't it? Can you edit that bit out?
Edgy - We're going out live to millions of gamers across the country
Tony - I'll give you one of my cars
Edgy - I just told you- Oh, alright. Back to you, El Blokey
*Cut to El Blokey, asleep*
El Blokey - No... no... NO! I don't wanna.... go to school... teachers... all hate.... me... part of a... national conspiracy... against me
*He snaps out of it*
El Blokey - Oh, erm... Sorry, Edgy, I was asleep, but I'll just assume we didn't learn anything from your report either. What's that? I understand we're going to RM18, who is at Newcastle University... for some reason. RM18?
*Cut to RM19*
RM19 - That's RM19, moron.
El Blokey - Shut it.
RM19 - I'm live at Newcastle University, where the nerdy science students are carrying out tests on nude gamers... sort of like the Holocaust I would imagine.
*A bar appears under RM19, with his name*
RM19 - It's not RM18 anymore! I'm 19! 19 years old! RM19! 19! 19! Got that?
*The bar changes*
RM19 - That's better
*It changes again to "Loser"*
RM19 - 'Ave it!
*Cut to a student*
RM19 - So what do you do here?
Student - Ah, well, ya knaw, like, we're deeing experimunts on, like, gamers, ya knaw?
RM19 - I have no idea what you just said, but thank you.
*Cut to a scientific looking room, with a sofa, TV and console*
Student - This is a gamer playing Tomb Raider, ya knaw? As ya can see, he's not doing tee badly. Now, if wu take the same gamer, like, but take his clothes away - ah, as yuh can see, he's playing much better, like.
*The now naked gamer is jumping up and down on the sofa, playing furiously*
RM19 - Wow, it really is an improvement. But now he's just making Lara Croft jump up and down repeatedly... and what's he doing now? His hand is moving...
*The student blocks the camera*
Student - Erm... this is just, like, a side effect of nude gaming... Damn it, Bill, I told yuh not to get Tomb Raider!
RM19 - Well, this newscast just became pornographic, so back to the master of porn - El Blokey
*Cut to El Blokey*
El Blokey - Thank you, RM19, I'm sure we'll have the ITC knocking on our door within the next few minutes. Well, before we're pulled off the air, we're going to find out what the church thinks of this "nude gaming". OK, I understand the priest has backed out, after watching that last report... So, we're going to the next most qualified guy... Ant!
*Cut to a close-up of Ant*
Ant - Huh? What? On TV? Why? Oh, fair enough, I suppose payment in chocolate is good enough... Right, I'm Ant, and I'm here to tell you what I think of this nude gaming. Well, it's very wrong, morally, of course. Yes, we may have been BORN naked, but even Jesus was clothed after he was born, and he's about as holy as you can get. You don't need to be naked to play games! It's totally wrong! If you need to be naked to play well, or to feel comfortable, then there's something VERY wrong with you!
*The camera slowly zooms out, revealing Ant's naked body*
Ant - Yes, totally evil, totally wrong and...
*He pauses*
Ant - You haven't zoomed out, have you?
*The camera shakes a yes*
Ant - Ah... well... Hmm... I was just, like... trying it out, to see how, um... wrong and immoral it is! And now that I have seen what it's like to play games naked, I can safely say it is BAD! OK, are we off the air now? Can I get back to Tomb Raider?
*Cut to El Blokey, taking a swig from a bottle of gin. He notices the camera and wipes the gin from his mouth*
El Blokey - Um... Ha ha ha... ah, Ant, you'll slay us all. OK, we're almost out of time, here at SR news, but we have time for one more- No, wait... I'm getting word that monkey_man has a special report, live in Scotland... monkey_man?
*Cut to monkey_man, holding a mic close to his face*
monkey_man - (whispering) I'm here in Scotland, where we've had reports somebody is indulging in nude gaming as we speak. Follow me...
*The camera crew follow monkey_man as he opens the front door of a house and rushes in. The room slowly comes into focus, and SHEEPY is sat on a huge sofa, totally naked, surrounded by empty beer cans, playing games*
monkey_man - SHEEPY, SHEEPY! Can we have a word?
SHEEPY - (slurring his speech) Hey... who are you? Who said you could come in here, eh? Rargburbleschuuuurdefegy...
monkey_man - We can't help but notice that you're, well, rather naked... What's it like playing games this way?
SHEEPY - Rarbedyrarara *hiccup* lardyblairrblahprodringo... *burp* Hey! I... I didn't give permission for my face to be shown on... televisiooooon... Blur it ooout!
*A blur appears on SHEEPY's private parts*
SHEEPY - That's.... that's better! Urgghahararugh...
monkey_man - Are you alright? I noticed you're rather intoxicated...
SHEEPY - Aye... aye... aye... Beer! Raralakoko!
monkey_man - And you seem to be making up words as you go along.
SHEEPY - Yeah, greeeeeat, innit? So what was yer question... again?
monkey_man - Can I have a beer?
SHEEPY - Suuure! Get naked and we'll play... we'll play Tomb Raider together!
monkey_man - Oh, cheers!
*He cracks open a can of cheap lager*
monkey_man - (pulling his shoes off) This is monkey_man, reporting for SR news, saying goodbye!
*Cut to El Blokey*
El Blokey - Well, what a waste of effort that was. Tony's gonna cut our budget is we keep producing crap like this. Ah well, good night, everybody, hope you've enjoyed the show. I certainly haven't.
*El Blokey gets up from the desk, and walks off, showing that he has no pants on and has a GBA in his hand*
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I should've given it a certificate -
"Rated N for nudey"
"Attention - the following post contains Ant naked. You have been warned!"
OK, hopefully the angry emails about me poisoning today's youth will stop
"Rated N for nudey"
"Attention - the following post contains Ant naked. You have been warned!"
OK, hopefully the angry emails about me poisoning today's youth will stop
It makes me cry!
"Right, I'm Ant, and I'm here to tell you what I think of this nude gaming. Well, it's very wrong, morally, of course. Yes, we may have been BORN naked, but even Jesus was clothed after he was born, and he's about as holy as you can get. You don't need to be naked to play games! It's totally wrong! If you need to be naked to play well, or to feel comfortable, then there's something VERY wrong with you!
*The camera slowly zooms out, revealing Ant's naked body*"
LOL! Enjoyed that part, and the rest of it of course.
*reads over it again*
The bit where the camera zooms out to reveal my naked body makes me laugh everytime. :D
*The camera slowly zooms out, revealing Ant's naked body*"
LOL! Enjoyed that part, and the rest of it of course.
*reads over it again*
The bit where the camera zooms out to reveal my naked body makes me laugh everytime. :D
Heeeeey.... I don't remember saying that
Heh
Heh
MoJoJoJo wrote:
> MoJoJoJo - I smell
Yes indeedy
> MoJoJoJo - I smell
Yes indeedy
Briiiilliant.
:-)
:-)
This story is crap, because I'm not in it!
*Cries*
Brilliant Post MoJoJoJo.
Brilliant Post MoJoJoJo.
hehe Great post.
Cheers all, glad you enjoyed it
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