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Thanks to a little inspiration from Cong Man, I found a site that allows you to enter a few details and then recreate your own version of Big Brother. The contestants are:
FantasyMeister
Grix Thraves
Meka_Dragon
Mystique
Iguana
Tweetie Bird
Day 1 - FantasyMeister admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of Mystique. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, Iguana is in fact the only lesbian in the house (sorry Phil!), although Meka_Dragon later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Grix Thraves creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Tweetie Bird hits him with a Knife.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of SR Towers out of Jaffa Cakes. After much persuasion by Grix Thraves, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the SR Towers task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Meka_Dragon, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat b*****d in the house, eats half the Jaffa Cakes. Tweetie Bird is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the SR Towers task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Meka_Dragon farts and blows SR Towers over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Mystique cries.
6 - Grix Thraves gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Mystique admits that she likes to be spanked on the a*** with a Knife. FantasyMeister says he never wears condoms because they make his Hand sore and Grix Thraves agrees. Iguana goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual b******s. Meka_Dragon sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Grix Thraves.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. FantasyMeister goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Tweetie Bird and Mystique are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for FantasyMeister.
9 - Tweetie Bird and Mystique are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. Iguana sings them a song - Pb's Mixes - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote Mystique out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Mystique leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Mystique's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. Iguana has to make do without the cucumber she requested. Tweetie Bird is visibly depressed and is comforted by Grix Thraves, who tries to touch her on her Leg.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of Grix Thraves touching Tweetie Bird's Leg over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Meka_Dragon refuses to run because his Hand hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Meka_Dragon finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Tweetie Bird calls Meka_Dragon a lazy Hand.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. FantasyMeister tells everyone individually that he thinks Tweetie Bird is a w***e. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Tweetie Bird and Grix Thraves are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for FantasyMeister.
16 - The nominations are announced. Tweetie Bird can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. Grix Thraves is equally stunned and turns to Tweetie Bird for comfort. Meka_Dragon is distraught and confesses to Iguana that he thinks he is in love with Grix Thraves. Iguana says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote Grix Thraves out of the house. Tweetie Bird says she is gutted and even gives Grix Thraves a clipping of hair from her Leg to prove how much she cares. Meka_Dragon is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. Grix Thraves leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Tweetie Bird clipping the hair from her Leg. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Newbie Town in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Newbie Town sounds like but Meka_Dragon says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose FantasyMeister as the one who must complete the task.
21 - FantasyMeister successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Newbie Town but also God Save The Queen, Pb's Mixes and the theme tune to Wings Hauser. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and FantasyMeister tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Meka_Dragon and Iguana are nominated.
23 - Meka_Dragon and Iguana take their nominations well and sit down with FantasyMeister and Tweetie Bird to discuss why they voted for them. FantasyMeister keeps quiet but Tweetie Bird accuses Meka_Dragon of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred Hand before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote Iguana out of the house and nobody really gives a s***. Iguana leaves.
25 - FantasyMeister becomes the first housemate to have a w**k. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of FantasyMeister's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a w****r.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of Bruzeere dung using only a Knife. FantasyMeister is unsure but Meka_Dragon is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Meka_Dragon breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the Bruzeere incident from his childhood. Tweetie Bird tries to persuade him to stay but FantasyMeister sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Meka_Dragon decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the Bruzeere dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely p****d on some vegetable wine, made by Tweetie Bird from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. FantasyMeister asks Tweetie Bird to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly FantasyMeister nominates Tweetie Bird to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Tweetie Bird.
30 - When the nomination is announced, Tweetie Bird graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that FantasyMeister is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. FantasyMeister takes his £70,000 and runs away to Newbie Town. Nobody, including Tweetie Bird, ever sees him again.
Haha!
FantasyMeister
Grix Thraves
Meka_Dragon
Mystique
Iguana
Tweetie Bird
Day 1 - FantasyMeister admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of Mystique. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, Iguana is in fact the only lesbian in the house (sorry Phil!), although Meka_Dragon later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Grix Thraves creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Tweetie Bird hits him with a Knife.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of SR Towers out of Jaffa Cakes. After much persuasion by Grix Thraves, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the SR Towers task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Meka_Dragon, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat b*****d in the house, eats half the Jaffa Cakes. Tweetie Bird is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the SR Towers task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Meka_Dragon farts and blows SR Towers over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Mystique cries.
6 - Grix Thraves gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Mystique admits that she likes to be spanked on the a*** with a Knife. FantasyMeister says he never wears condoms because they make his Hand sore and Grix Thraves agrees. Iguana goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual b******s. Meka_Dragon sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Grix Thraves.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. FantasyMeister goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Tweetie Bird and Mystique are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for FantasyMeister.
9 - Tweetie Bird and Mystique are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. Iguana sings them a song - Pb's Mixes - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote Mystique out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Mystique leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Mystique's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. Iguana has to make do without the cucumber she requested. Tweetie Bird is visibly depressed and is comforted by Grix Thraves, who tries to touch her on her Leg.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of Grix Thraves touching Tweetie Bird's Leg over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Meka_Dragon refuses to run because his Hand hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Meka_Dragon finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Tweetie Bird calls Meka_Dragon a lazy Hand.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. FantasyMeister tells everyone individually that he thinks Tweetie Bird is a w***e. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Tweetie Bird and Grix Thraves are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for FantasyMeister.
16 - The nominations are announced. Tweetie Bird can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. Grix Thraves is equally stunned and turns to Tweetie Bird for comfort. Meka_Dragon is distraught and confesses to Iguana that he thinks he is in love with Grix Thraves. Iguana says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote Grix Thraves out of the house. Tweetie Bird says she is gutted and even gives Grix Thraves a clipping of hair from her Leg to prove how much she cares. Meka_Dragon is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. Grix Thraves leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Tweetie Bird clipping the hair from her Leg. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Newbie Town in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Newbie Town sounds like but Meka_Dragon says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose FantasyMeister as the one who must complete the task.
21 - FantasyMeister successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Newbie Town but also God Save The Queen, Pb's Mixes and the theme tune to Wings Hauser. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and FantasyMeister tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Meka_Dragon and Iguana are nominated.
23 - Meka_Dragon and Iguana take their nominations well and sit down with FantasyMeister and Tweetie Bird to discuss why they voted for them. FantasyMeister keeps quiet but Tweetie Bird accuses Meka_Dragon of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred Hand before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote Iguana out of the house and nobody really gives a s***. Iguana leaves.
25 - FantasyMeister becomes the first housemate to have a w**k. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of FantasyMeister's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a w****r.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of Bruzeere dung using only a Knife. FantasyMeister is unsure but Meka_Dragon is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, Meka_Dragon breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the Bruzeere incident from his childhood. Tweetie Bird tries to persuade him to stay but FantasyMeister sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Meka_Dragon decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the Bruzeere dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely p****d on some vegetable wine, made by Tweetie Bird from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. FantasyMeister asks Tweetie Bird to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly FantasyMeister nominates Tweetie Bird to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Tweetie Bird.
30 - When the nomination is announced, Tweetie Bird graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that FantasyMeister is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. FantasyMeister takes his £70,000 and runs away to Newbie Town. Nobody, including Tweetie Bird, ever sees him again.
Haha!
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Stryke wrote:
After hat became my worst programme, there was Pop Idol - which is amazingly
> dire. Whats next, I wonder? Big Brother 3? God, let's hope not.
The only good thing about Pop Idol was those judges - they were so mean to the contestants! :)
After hat became my worst programme, there was Pop Idol - which is amazingly
> dire. Whats next, I wonder? Big Brother 3? God, let's hope not.
The only good thing about Pop Idol was those judges - they were so mean to the contestants! :)
I thought nothing could be worse than Big Brother, then I saw Popstars. Then when it was my fervent belief nothing was worse than that, there was Big Brother 2. After hat became my worst programme, there was Pop Idol - which is amazingly dire. Whats next, I wonder? Big Brother 3? God, let's hope not.
Meka Dragon wrote:
> And I thought that there couldn't be anything more dull than Big Brother on TV,
> but it's actually worse in text.
I thought the program was only good when it finished.
> And I thought that there couldn't be anything more dull than Big Brother on TV,
> but it's actually worse in text.
I thought the program was only good when it finished.
Shaneo, wha?
Stryke wrote:
> Reaper[oV] wrote:
> Painfully...we never got to see what happened after
> JEss's hair dye came out in
> the shower..
--
I got scared and insulted
> your school and ran away.
Ha! Erm Gaz...great guy...erm....ace poster, I don't suppose I could borrow your £70,000 pound for a jiff? :p
Allardiini wrote:
Sh@neo!!!! You copied a very very very old tagline of mine! It was "Quotable", @$$hole.
Heh! I never knew that!
> Reaper[oV] wrote:
> Painfully...we never got to see what happened after
> JEss's hair dye came out in
> the shower..
--
I got scared and insulted
> your school and ran away.
Ha! Erm Gaz...great guy...erm....ace poster, I don't suppose I could borrow your £70,000 pound for a jiff? :p
Allardiini wrote:
Sh@neo!!!! You copied a very very very old tagline of mine! It was "Quotable", @$$hole.
Heh! I never knew that!
Reaper[oV] wrote:
> Painfully...we never got to see what happened after JEss's hair dye came out in
> the shower..
--
I got scared and insulted your school and ran away.
> Painfully...we never got to see what happened after JEss's hair dye came out in
> the shower..
--
I got scared and insulted your school and ran away.
i expect loads of people will do one now.
Painfully...we never got to see what happened after JEss's hair dye came out in the shower..
Stryke wrote:
> Remember CC Big Brother?
Hehehe..
> Remember CC Big Brother?
Hehehe..
Remember CC Big Brother?
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