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I could not believe my eyes as I watched childrens television this morning. There was a band - yes men with guitars and bass and drums - who were shamelessly manufactured and admitted it. Granted, they were truly atrocious with one number being "Ready 4 ya jelly"
Sample Lyric: "No, no Nelly / I'm not ready 4 ya Jelly"
But come on.. is there no shame left in music? I am quite happy to see a pop band that's manufactured because they are at least good at what they do (namely mime and dance) but I don't want to see 5 pretty boys singing songs they haven't written, which are clearly aimed at the rebellious end of the teeny-bopper market (that's the end that listens to hardcore music like Limp Bizkit, Staind, POD, Papa Roach, etc)
The drummer was being interviewed and said he was so happy when he passed the audition. Bloody audition for a rock band! You only audition for a rock band if one of the old members has had a drug overdose and died or decided he hates the singer and left. You don't make bands by having auditions. What kind of idiot thinks that you make a rock band like that? A spectacular idiot, that's what, and rest assured each band member is either wantonly stupid or desperate. You would have to be reaching a particularly low ebb of self esteem to audition to be in a manufactured rock band. That's for people who have gone beyond the realms of contemplating suicide. And death is frequently a preferable option to their songs, which have to be heard to appreciate why you should never let Pete Waterman write a rock song.
I really cannot find the means to express the gimpdom they encapsulate... so I'll leave you with a quote from each member, as they do it far, far better themselves:
Tim, who enjoys breeding trout, says:
Hi I’m Tim! I’m from Surrey and play Bass guitar with Stamford Amp. I’m the youngest member of the band and live with Chris & Mark. Having met so many bands on the show I can’t wait for Stamford Amp to join them in the charts - hopefully it won’t be too long before we release our first record!
Mark, who tries to sing with a manly voice, says:
Hi I’m Mark, Stamford Amp’s singer and occasional guitarist. I’m originally from Swindon but now live with Chris and Tim in London. I feel like I’ve been in a whirlwind since joining the band, but have loved every minute of it so far! The other lads in the band are great, and as well as Joe & Dani, I can now count a giant hamster and a small duck as friends for life!
David, who runs around like a demented chimp, says:
Hi! I’m David, I come from St Helens and play keyboards for Stamford Amp. Now that we’re established on ‘The Saturday Show’, I’m hoping that 2002 will be a massive year for the Band. Apart from keyboards I also do a bit of singing and am busy working with some of the others on writing our own material.
Guy, who is a paragon of gimpness, says:
Hi! I’m Guy, Stamford Amp’s drummer. Famous for my drum-rolls and prize-modelling skills! As well as drumming I’ve been known to try my hand at DJing and absolutely LOVE South American music. Best bit of being in the band? Blagging my way to the best gigs in town!
Finally Chris, who is almost certainly the token gay member, says:
Hi I’m Chris! I’m from Manchester and play guitar and sing backing vocals for Stamford Amp. Now that I’ve finally recovered from the shock of being chosen to be in the band I’m devoting all of my time to practising and working on new material. Well, that and supporting Man United!
Also the gimpy singer wants to be played by Chesney Hawkes in the movie about his life...... they have no shame!!
Someone should probably shoot them.
Check out their gimporietry at:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/saturdayshow/band/
If you see one of them in the street then please punch them for me.
Sample Lyric: "No, no Nelly / I'm not ready 4 ya Jelly"
But come on.. is there no shame left in music? I am quite happy to see a pop band that's manufactured because they are at least good at what they do (namely mime and dance) but I don't want to see 5 pretty boys singing songs they haven't written, which are clearly aimed at the rebellious end of the teeny-bopper market (that's the end that listens to hardcore music like Limp Bizkit, Staind, POD, Papa Roach, etc)
The drummer was being interviewed and said he was so happy when he passed the audition. Bloody audition for a rock band! You only audition for a rock band if one of the old members has had a drug overdose and died or decided he hates the singer and left. You don't make bands by having auditions. What kind of idiot thinks that you make a rock band like that? A spectacular idiot, that's what, and rest assured each band member is either wantonly stupid or desperate. You would have to be reaching a particularly low ebb of self esteem to audition to be in a manufactured rock band. That's for people who have gone beyond the realms of contemplating suicide. And death is frequently a preferable option to their songs, which have to be heard to appreciate why you should never let Pete Waterman write a rock song.
I really cannot find the means to express the gimpdom they encapsulate... so I'll leave you with a quote from each member, as they do it far, far better themselves:
Tim, who enjoys breeding trout, says:
Hi I’m Tim! I’m from Surrey and play Bass guitar with Stamford Amp. I’m the youngest member of the band and live with Chris & Mark. Having met so many bands on the show I can’t wait for Stamford Amp to join them in the charts - hopefully it won’t be too long before we release our first record!
Mark, who tries to sing with a manly voice, says:
Hi I’m Mark, Stamford Amp’s singer and occasional guitarist. I’m originally from Swindon but now live with Chris and Tim in London. I feel like I’ve been in a whirlwind since joining the band, but have loved every minute of it so far! The other lads in the band are great, and as well as Joe & Dani, I can now count a giant hamster and a small duck as friends for life!
David, who runs around like a demented chimp, says:
Hi! I’m David, I come from St Helens and play keyboards for Stamford Amp. Now that we’re established on ‘The Saturday Show’, I’m hoping that 2002 will be a massive year for the Band. Apart from keyboards I also do a bit of singing and am busy working with some of the others on writing our own material.
Guy, who is a paragon of gimpness, says:
Hi! I’m Guy, Stamford Amp’s drummer. Famous for my drum-rolls and prize-modelling skills! As well as drumming I’ve been known to try my hand at DJing and absolutely LOVE South American music. Best bit of being in the band? Blagging my way to the best gigs in town!
Finally Chris, who is almost certainly the token gay member, says:
Hi I’m Chris! I’m from Manchester and play guitar and sing backing vocals for Stamford Amp. Now that I’ve finally recovered from the shock of being chosen to be in the band I’m devoting all of my time to practising and working on new material. Well, that and supporting Man United!
Also the gimpy singer wants to be played by Chesney Hawkes in the movie about his life...... they have no shame!!
Someone should probably shoot them.
Check out their gimporietry at:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/saturdayshow/band/
If you see one of them in the street then please punch them for me.
You think they're bad (well they are) what about that American band 50/50 Grind I think they where called who made the Pokemon song, they won't be able to show their faces out in public ever again.
I've seen that band and I hate them!!
They're not even that good at playing! Everything they do play lasts about 15 seconds, and only consists of 1 or 2 different rifts and chords!!
I cannot believe that these people are happy to admit that they're manufactured! Surely they must realise that they're playing music for little kids and girls, and not the teenage/older music listeners that rock instruments are meant for!! They really are PATHETIC!!! And use a TV show as an 'instantly quick' way to get famous!
They're not even that good at playing! Everything they do play lasts about 15 seconds, and only consists of 1 or 2 different rifts and chords!!
I cannot believe that these people are happy to admit that they're manufactured! Surely they must realise that they're playing music for little kids and girls, and not the teenage/older music listeners that rock instruments are meant for!! They really are PATHETIC!!! And use a TV show as an 'instantly quick' way to get famous!
I swear to god that none of this is made up. These people do actually exist... checkout the URL:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/saturdayshow/band/
It didn't work for a while on my computer but it seems to be working again.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/saturdayshow/band/
It didn't work for a while on my computer but it seems to be working again.
are those quotes actually real?
Exactly Sibs.
That is so true... Because those record execs are so down with the kiddos.
Stupidity barely covers these guys. The only word that does them justice is gimp. They are kings of the gimp world.
That is so true... Because those record execs are so down with the kiddos.
Stupidity barely covers these guys. The only word that does them justice is gimp. They are kings of the gimp world.
*Late one night in a record labels office*
"we're running out of pop groups that people aren't sick of... what can we do for ratings then?"
"Well, that metal stuff seems to be in fashion at the moment"
"No, far too risky. We can't play something controversial! I mean, it might even have swearing in it! No, we need something that won't get the six year olds parents annoyed at us."
"how about an actual band. With guitars and everything!"
"GENIUS! And we can audition for places in the band! Yes, I can see it now!"
*phones head honcho record label blokey*
"Yes, we're going to do a manufactured rock band"
"hmm... well, make sure they're not too clever... we don't want them discovering they're being exploited for our own personal gain... and we don't want them to start writing their own material... that could be disasterous"
"Okay, we'll keep 'em cute but stupid."
"Oh, and make sure the singer is kind of manly, but poncey at the same time."
"we're running out of pop groups that people aren't sick of... what can we do for ratings then?"
"Well, that metal stuff seems to be in fashion at the moment"
"No, far too risky. We can't play something controversial! I mean, it might even have swearing in it! No, we need something that won't get the six year olds parents annoyed at us."
"how about an actual band. With guitars and everything!"
"GENIUS! And we can audition for places in the band! Yes, I can see it now!"
*phones head honcho record label blokey*
"Yes, we're going to do a manufactured rock band"
"hmm... well, make sure they're not too clever... we don't want them discovering they're being exploited for our own personal gain... and we don't want them to start writing their own material... that could be disasterous"
"Okay, we'll keep 'em cute but stupid."
"Oh, and make sure the singer is kind of manly, but poncey at the same time."
You expect pop bans to be manufactured, but anything else? Crazy... just crazy
I could not believe my eyes as I watched childrens television this morning. There was a band - yes men with guitars and bass and drums - who were shamelessly manufactured and admitted it. Granted, they were truly atrocious with one number being "Ready 4 ya jelly"
Sample Lyric: "No, no Nelly / I'm not ready 4 ya Jelly"
But come on.. is there no shame left in music? I am quite happy to see a pop band that's manufactured because they are at least good at what they do (namely mime and dance) but I don't want to see 5 pretty boys singing songs they haven't written, which are clearly aimed at the rebellious end of the teeny-bopper market (that's the end that listens to hardcore music like Limp Bizkit, Staind, POD, Papa Roach, etc)
The drummer was being interviewed and said he was so happy when he passed the audition. Bloody audition for a rock band! You only audition for a rock band if one of the old members has had a drug overdose and died or decided he hates the singer and left. You don't make bands by having auditions. What kind of idiot thinks that you make a rock band like that? A spectacular idiot, that's what, and rest assured each band member is either wantonly stupid or desperate. You would have to be reaching a particularly low ebb of self esteem to audition to be in a manufactured rock band. That's for people who have gone beyond the realms of contemplating suicide. And death is frequently a preferable option to their songs, which have to be heard to appreciate why you should never let Pete Waterman write a rock song.
I really cannot find the means to express the gimpdom they encapsulate... so I'll leave you with a quote from each member, as they do it far, far better themselves:
Tim, who enjoys breeding trout, says:
Hi I’m Tim! I’m from Surrey and play Bass guitar with Stamford Amp. I’m the youngest member of the band and live with Chris & Mark. Having met so many bands on the show I can’t wait for Stamford Amp to join them in the charts - hopefully it won’t be too long before we release our first record!
Mark, who tries to sing with a manly voice, says:
Hi I’m Mark, Stamford Amp’s singer and occasional guitarist. I’m originally from Swindon but now live with Chris and Tim in London. I feel like I’ve been in a whirlwind since joining the band, but have loved every minute of it so far! The other lads in the band are great, and as well as Joe & Dani, I can now count a giant hamster and a small duck as friends for life!
David, who runs around like a demented chimp, says:
Hi! I’m David, I come from St Helens and play keyboards for Stamford Amp. Now that we’re established on ‘The Saturday Show’, I’m hoping that 2002 will be a massive year for the Band. Apart from keyboards I also do a bit of singing and am busy working with some of the others on writing our own material.
Guy, who is a paragon of gimpness, says:
Hi! I’m Guy, Stamford Amp’s drummer. Famous for my drum-rolls and prize-modelling skills! As well as drumming I’ve been known to try my hand at DJing and absolutely LOVE South American music. Best bit of being in the band? Blagging my way to the best gigs in town!
Finally Chris, who is almost certainly the token gay member, says:
Hi I’m Chris! I’m from Manchester and play guitar and sing backing vocals for Stamford Amp. Now that I’ve finally recovered from the shock of being chosen to be in the band I’m devoting all of my time to practising and working on new material. Well, that and supporting Man United!
Also the gimpy singer wants to be played by Chesney Hawkes in the movie about his life...... they have no shame!!
Someone should probably shoot them.
Check out their gimporietry at:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/saturdayshow/band/
If you see one of them in the street then please punch them for me.
Sample Lyric: "No, no Nelly / I'm not ready 4 ya Jelly"
But come on.. is there no shame left in music? I am quite happy to see a pop band that's manufactured because they are at least good at what they do (namely mime and dance) but I don't want to see 5 pretty boys singing songs they haven't written, which are clearly aimed at the rebellious end of the teeny-bopper market (that's the end that listens to hardcore music like Limp Bizkit, Staind, POD, Papa Roach, etc)
The drummer was being interviewed and said he was so happy when he passed the audition. Bloody audition for a rock band! You only audition for a rock band if one of the old members has had a drug overdose and died or decided he hates the singer and left. You don't make bands by having auditions. What kind of idiot thinks that you make a rock band like that? A spectacular idiot, that's what, and rest assured each band member is either wantonly stupid or desperate. You would have to be reaching a particularly low ebb of self esteem to audition to be in a manufactured rock band. That's for people who have gone beyond the realms of contemplating suicide. And death is frequently a preferable option to their songs, which have to be heard to appreciate why you should never let Pete Waterman write a rock song.
I really cannot find the means to express the gimpdom they encapsulate... so I'll leave you with a quote from each member, as they do it far, far better themselves:
Tim, who enjoys breeding trout, says:
Hi I’m Tim! I’m from Surrey and play Bass guitar with Stamford Amp. I’m the youngest member of the band and live with Chris & Mark. Having met so many bands on the show I can’t wait for Stamford Amp to join them in the charts - hopefully it won’t be too long before we release our first record!
Mark, who tries to sing with a manly voice, says:
Hi I’m Mark, Stamford Amp’s singer and occasional guitarist. I’m originally from Swindon but now live with Chris and Tim in London. I feel like I’ve been in a whirlwind since joining the band, but have loved every minute of it so far! The other lads in the band are great, and as well as Joe & Dani, I can now count a giant hamster and a small duck as friends for life!
David, who runs around like a demented chimp, says:
Hi! I’m David, I come from St Helens and play keyboards for Stamford Amp. Now that we’re established on ‘The Saturday Show’, I’m hoping that 2002 will be a massive year for the Band. Apart from keyboards I also do a bit of singing and am busy working with some of the others on writing our own material.
Guy, who is a paragon of gimpness, says:
Hi! I’m Guy, Stamford Amp’s drummer. Famous for my drum-rolls and prize-modelling skills! As well as drumming I’ve been known to try my hand at DJing and absolutely LOVE South American music. Best bit of being in the band? Blagging my way to the best gigs in town!
Finally Chris, who is almost certainly the token gay member, says:
Hi I’m Chris! I’m from Manchester and play guitar and sing backing vocals for Stamford Amp. Now that I’ve finally recovered from the shock of being chosen to be in the band I’m devoting all of my time to practising and working on new material. Well, that and supporting Man United!
Also the gimpy singer wants to be played by Chesney Hawkes in the movie about his life...... they have no shame!!
Someone should probably shoot them.
Check out their gimporietry at:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/saturdayshow/band/
If you see one of them in the street then please punch them for me.