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Aren't I topical? So here it is, the top 10 Resolutions for Game Characters
10: Pikachu to stop electrocuting innocent bystanders.
9 : Toe Jam and Earl to tone down the funk a little.
8 : Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts. Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts.
7 : Turok to stop breathing so heavily. Turok Evolution was just plain creepy.
6 : Princess Peach to stop getting herself kidnapped by Bowser.
5 : Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts, and stop crying like a girl.
4 : Link to lose the green felt garments, then he might get a girlfriend.
3 : Sonic to stop trying to be so cool, thus creating sucky games, with awful soundtracks.
2 : Mario to quit punching Yoshi in the back of the head.
1 : Bomberman to get over his pyromania, I know he's called Bomberman, but does he have to blow up everything?
But, what's this, less than a week in?
In a press conference earlier today, Monday, January 6th 2003, Nintendo revealed that their most popular gaming icon, Mario, had lasted less that a week, and had broken all three of his New Years resolutions.
First to go, just hours after midnight, was his resolution not to harm the creatures of the Mushroom Kingdom again, when he punched Yoshi in the back of the head.
"Mario confessed right away, to his credit." Said George McFly, Press Officer for Nintendo "But he has decided that it was a little foolish to make this resolution in the first place, as many of the creatures wandering the Mushroom Kingdom are out to do him harm. Goombas, Koopa Troopers and the like aren't out in force for a picnic, so Mario is actually doing us a favour by taking them down."
George McFly refused to comment on the punch to Yoshi's head, even though it was captured on camera by ornathologist Gavin Kwok. "I was trying to picture the Lesser-Spotted Battlesnatch, when I heard his riding through on Yoshi's back. I thought the picture would look nice in my collection, but as I snapped, he threw his punch!"
Mario's second resolution lasted a little longer, but only until the 3rd, when his resolution not to eat sweet things until he had lost at least a stone crumbled in a similar fashion to the cake that he was seen devouring.
"Give the man a break! It was a gift from Peach, after he saved her from Bowser!" Said McFly "How do you expect him to celebrate, with a sodding Go-Ahead Apple Cake Bar?"
Perhaps the most disappointing of all, however, was the failure of Mario to keep his third and final resolution, to give up smoking. As a role model to children around the world, Mario should not partake in such activites. He had kept his habit under wraps from quite some time, but when it was revealed at a drunken Mario Party late last year, Nintendo pressured him to quit.
"We are disappointed with Mario, but really, does anyone stick to their resolutions?" Concluded McFly.
Well perhaps he should take a look at Luigi then, who has not only managed to overcome his fear of ghosts, he's also taken up jogging, and completely given up on his £100 a day Kinder Egg addiction.
10: Pikachu to stop electrocuting innocent bystanders.
9 : Toe Jam and Earl to tone down the funk a little.
8 : Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts. Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts.
7 : Turok to stop breathing so heavily. Turok Evolution was just plain creepy.
6 : Princess Peach to stop getting herself kidnapped by Bowser.
5 : Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts, and stop crying like a girl.
4 : Link to lose the green felt garments, then he might get a girlfriend.
3 : Sonic to stop trying to be so cool, thus creating sucky games, with awful soundtracks.
2 : Mario to quit punching Yoshi in the back of the head.
1 : Bomberman to get over his pyromania, I know he's called Bomberman, but does he have to blow up everything?
But, what's this, less than a week in?
In a press conference earlier today, Monday, January 6th 2003, Nintendo revealed that their most popular gaming icon, Mario, had lasted less that a week, and had broken all three of his New Years resolutions.
First to go, just hours after midnight, was his resolution not to harm the creatures of the Mushroom Kingdom again, when he punched Yoshi in the back of the head.
"Mario confessed right away, to his credit." Said George McFly, Press Officer for Nintendo "But he has decided that it was a little foolish to make this resolution in the first place, as many of the creatures wandering the Mushroom Kingdom are out to do him harm. Goombas, Koopa Troopers and the like aren't out in force for a picnic, so Mario is actually doing us a favour by taking them down."
George McFly refused to comment on the punch to Yoshi's head, even though it was captured on camera by ornathologist Gavin Kwok. "I was trying to picture the Lesser-Spotted Battlesnatch, when I heard his riding through on Yoshi's back. I thought the picture would look nice in my collection, but as I snapped, he threw his punch!"
Mario's second resolution lasted a little longer, but only until the 3rd, when his resolution not to eat sweet things until he had lost at least a stone crumbled in a similar fashion to the cake that he was seen devouring.
"Give the man a break! It was a gift from Peach, after he saved her from Bowser!" Said McFly "How do you expect him to celebrate, with a sodding Go-Ahead Apple Cake Bar?"
Perhaps the most disappointing of all, however, was the failure of Mario to keep his third and final resolution, to give up smoking. As a role model to children around the world, Mario should not partake in such activites. He had kept his habit under wraps from quite some time, but when it was revealed at a drunken Mario Party late last year, Nintendo pressured him to quit.
"We are disappointed with Mario, but really, does anyone stick to their resolutions?" Concluded McFly.
Well perhaps he should take a look at Luigi then, who has not only managed to overcome his fear of ghosts, he's also taken up jogging, and completely given up on his £100 a day Kinder Egg addiction.
You know, there's a relatively error free version of both the top ten, and the story (with pictures) on my website.
www.when-consoles-attack.co.uk
Advertising it again, because repetition will make you like it, and go every day, even though I don't update every day...
www.when-consoles-attack.co.uk
Advertising it again, because repetition will make you like it, and go every day, even though I don't update every day...
Crap, I'm having a bad day.
fall through falls?
crazy man
crazy man
It was a case of making the effort that screwed it up though!
If I'd have left them in the order conceived, it would have been fine, but I guess I cocked up a bit of the old copying and pasting when trying to switch the lines!
If I'd have left them in the order conceived, it would have been fine, but I guess I cocked up a bit of the old copying and pasting when trying to switch the lines!
Shameful *heckles Meka*
It was rather funny but it sort of made it seem like you hadn't put any effort into it.
It was rather funny but it sort of made it seem like you hadn't put any effort into it.
Aw crap, I reordered the list. Now who did I lose off of it?
8 Wario to lose a bit of weight, so he doesn't fall through falls in his games anymore.
I think that was it...
8 Wario to lose a bit of weight, so he doesn't fall through falls in his games anymore.
I think that was it...
8 : Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts. Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts.
5 : Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts, and stop crying like a girl.
You typed, "Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts" 3 times!
Bloody hell!
5 : Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts, and stop crying like a girl.
You typed, "Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts" 3 times!
Bloody hell!
Aren't I topical? So here it is, the top 10 Resolutions for Game Characters
10: Pikachu to stop electrocuting innocent bystanders.
9 : Toe Jam and Earl to tone down the funk a little.
8 : Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts. Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts.
7 : Turok to stop breathing so heavily. Turok Evolution was just plain creepy.
6 : Princess Peach to stop getting herself kidnapped by Bowser.
5 : Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts, and stop crying like a girl.
4 : Link to lose the green felt garments, then he might get a girlfriend.
3 : Sonic to stop trying to be so cool, thus creating sucky games, with awful soundtracks.
2 : Mario to quit punching Yoshi in the back of the head.
1 : Bomberman to get over his pyromania, I know he's called Bomberman, but does he have to blow up everything?
But, what's this, less than a week in?
In a press conference earlier today, Monday, January 6th 2003, Nintendo revealed that their most popular gaming icon, Mario, had lasted less that a week, and had broken all three of his New Years resolutions.
First to go, just hours after midnight, was his resolution not to harm the creatures of the Mushroom Kingdom again, when he punched Yoshi in the back of the head.
"Mario confessed right away, to his credit." Said George McFly, Press Officer for Nintendo "But he has decided that it was a little foolish to make this resolution in the first place, as many of the creatures wandering the Mushroom Kingdom are out to do him harm. Goombas, Koopa Troopers and the like aren't out in force for a picnic, so Mario is actually doing us a favour by taking them down."
George McFly refused to comment on the punch to Yoshi's head, even though it was captured on camera by ornathologist Gavin Kwok. "I was trying to picture the Lesser-Spotted Battlesnatch, when I heard his riding through on Yoshi's back. I thought the picture would look nice in my collection, but as I snapped, he threw his punch!"
Mario's second resolution lasted a little longer, but only until the 3rd, when his resolution not to eat sweet things until he had lost at least a stone crumbled in a similar fashion to the cake that he was seen devouring.
"Give the man a break! It was a gift from Peach, after he saved her from Bowser!" Said McFly "How do you expect him to celebrate, with a sodding Go-Ahead Apple Cake Bar?"
Perhaps the most disappointing of all, however, was the failure of Mario to keep his third and final resolution, to give up smoking. As a role model to children around the world, Mario should not partake in such activites. He had kept his habit under wraps from quite some time, but when it was revealed at a drunken Mario Party late last year, Nintendo pressured him to quit.
"We are disappointed with Mario, but really, does anyone stick to their resolutions?" Concluded McFly.
Well perhaps he should take a look at Luigi then, who has not only managed to overcome his fear of ghosts, he's also taken up jogging, and completely given up on his £100 a day Kinder Egg addiction.
10: Pikachu to stop electrocuting innocent bystanders.
9 : Toe Jam and Earl to tone down the funk a little.
8 : Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts. Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts.
7 : Turok to stop breathing so heavily. Turok Evolution was just plain creepy.
6 : Princess Peach to stop getting herself kidnapped by Bowser.
5 : Luigi to overcome his fear of ghosts, and stop crying like a girl.
4 : Link to lose the green felt garments, then he might get a girlfriend.
3 : Sonic to stop trying to be so cool, thus creating sucky games, with awful soundtracks.
2 : Mario to quit punching Yoshi in the back of the head.
1 : Bomberman to get over his pyromania, I know he's called Bomberman, but does he have to blow up everything?
But, what's this, less than a week in?
In a press conference earlier today, Monday, January 6th 2003, Nintendo revealed that their most popular gaming icon, Mario, had lasted less that a week, and had broken all three of his New Years resolutions.
First to go, just hours after midnight, was his resolution not to harm the creatures of the Mushroom Kingdom again, when he punched Yoshi in the back of the head.
"Mario confessed right away, to his credit." Said George McFly, Press Officer for Nintendo "But he has decided that it was a little foolish to make this resolution in the first place, as many of the creatures wandering the Mushroom Kingdom are out to do him harm. Goombas, Koopa Troopers and the like aren't out in force for a picnic, so Mario is actually doing us a favour by taking them down."
George McFly refused to comment on the punch to Yoshi's head, even though it was captured on camera by ornathologist Gavin Kwok. "I was trying to picture the Lesser-Spotted Battlesnatch, when I heard his riding through on Yoshi's back. I thought the picture would look nice in my collection, but as I snapped, he threw his punch!"
Mario's second resolution lasted a little longer, but only until the 3rd, when his resolution not to eat sweet things until he had lost at least a stone crumbled in a similar fashion to the cake that he was seen devouring.
"Give the man a break! It was a gift from Peach, after he saved her from Bowser!" Said McFly "How do you expect him to celebrate, with a sodding Go-Ahead Apple Cake Bar?"
Perhaps the most disappointing of all, however, was the failure of Mario to keep his third and final resolution, to give up smoking. As a role model to children around the world, Mario should not partake in such activites. He had kept his habit under wraps from quite some time, but when it was revealed at a drunken Mario Party late last year, Nintendo pressured him to quit.
"We are disappointed with Mario, but really, does anyone stick to their resolutions?" Concluded McFly.
Well perhaps he should take a look at Luigi then, who has not only managed to overcome his fear of ghosts, he's also taken up jogging, and completely given up on his £100 a day Kinder Egg addiction.