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Rumours, like most annoying factors of our every day life, seem to appear a lot. Now, this may be due to the highly anticipated Megaton announcement, or possibly the GBASP, but the fact remains, we both love and hate rumours. There are, indeed, many different reasons as to why we love and/or hate rumours, and I decided that it was time that I, DR Chips, shared my recent discoveries with you.
"I hate rumours! I get all edgy, perspire a lot, and cannot sleep for weeks!"
DR Chips' diagnosis:
This man, as you can tell for the above statement he made at an earlier date, suggests that he lives through the internet. His lack of social skills were overly noticeable when speaking to me, and it is possible that he still lives with his parents. Life can be demeaning whilst living with you parents after breaching 30, and for this man, it certainly is evident. His obvious lack of freedom, and his need for love of the opposite Gender are channeled through the Internet, where he is able to flirt willingly. However, after stumbling into the forums at Nintendo Europe, he was directed to a rumour page, courtesy of Planet Gamecube. What he read instantly set his inner-child loose. He had a strange addiction to Barney, he often "Pee peed my pants!" and his vocabulary skills dropped dramatically. The rumours were making him so excited, that the majority of his brain-usage was implemented into money-earning schemes, where to import from, and how long it was before he started polishing his newly purchased item.
Dr Chips' suggested cure:
Being the medical genius that I am not, I suggest that he should pre-occupy his mind with something else, perhaps start drinking heavily, and disconnecting his computer form the Internet.
"Rumours can be good. Sometimes, if we're lucky, they turn out to be true! By this time, I'll have saved enough money to buy said thing, and happy days would be here to stay!"
Dr Chips' diagnosis:
Define happy. Yes, you can't. More to the point, you couldn't be further from the truth. What you're saying goes against the whole of your gaming experience. You shut off buying any other game/CD/KFC/water filter so that you can save your money for something that is probably untrue? Poor man. You see, everything has to be in balance. You must level your social time with your gaming time in order to stay truly focused. Ying and Yang must be at one. Your good chi must be flowing. They say that frequent medical studies in China never help…
Dr Chips' suggested Cure:
Go out more. Don't feel threatened to spend. If a rumour does turn out to be true, then beg for money, sell your arm on Ebay, or more importantly, grovel. Yes, grovel. You'll still get what you've been waiting for, but it may be a little late. Anticipation can be good, too!
"These last two statements have been about something physical, like a game. Maybe the rumour isn't physical. I remember believing that Rare were going to stay at Nintendo. When they finally left, I shut out the rest of the world. I crawled under my bed, and didn't see light for weeks."
Dr Chips' diagnosis:
Ah, a classic case of the depression through anticipation of Microsoft's notorious plans. You forgot that Rare still develop games for the GBA, and further still, you forgot that you already had an Xbox. This is definitely not normal. You see, my good fellow, your lack of realism is greatly undermined by your desperation to believe the untrue. One thing puzzles me though, how did you manage to stay alive for three weeks without eating, drinking or going to the toilet? Old pizza you say? Went through a tube you say? Interesting. This leads me to believe that you are no other than a filthy cretin, whose complete lack of sensibility has lead you down the path to depression.
Dr Chips' cure:
Buy a sock. Draw a face upon the sock, and pull it onto your arm. Talk to the sock. Let it release your inner thoughts. Pretend that he is Bill Gates. Whenever he says something you don't approve of, sock (Har-har) him one across the chops. If all else fails, I suggest a prescription of Perfect Dark.
Dr Chips' conclusion:
Rumours are lethal to the mind of many. While some can take rumours, others, like these three poorly-guided muppets, cannot. The world would be far better if rumours never existed. If certain sites only released information when it was official and approved of, we might have a future to look forward too. Therefore, I suggest we bottle all rumours at source, and ship them off into space.
Thank you for your time
Dr Chips PHD, CHIP
"I hate rumours! I get all edgy, perspire a lot, and cannot sleep for weeks!"
DR Chips' diagnosis:
This man, as you can tell for the above statement he made at an earlier date, suggests that he lives through the internet. His lack of social skills were overly noticeable when speaking to me, and it is possible that he still lives with his parents. Life can be demeaning whilst living with you parents after breaching 30, and for this man, it certainly is evident. His obvious lack of freedom, and his need for love of the opposite Gender are channeled through the Internet, where he is able to flirt willingly. However, after stumbling into the forums at Nintendo Europe, he was directed to a rumour page, courtesy of Planet Gamecube. What he read instantly set his inner-child loose. He had a strange addiction to Barney, he often "Pee peed my pants!" and his vocabulary skills dropped dramatically. The rumours were making him so excited, that the majority of his brain-usage was implemented into money-earning schemes, where to import from, and how long it was before he started polishing his newly purchased item.
Dr Chips' suggested cure:
Being the medical genius that I am not, I suggest that he should pre-occupy his mind with something else, perhaps start drinking heavily, and disconnecting his computer form the Internet.
"Rumours can be good. Sometimes, if we're lucky, they turn out to be true! By this time, I'll have saved enough money to buy said thing, and happy days would be here to stay!"
Dr Chips' diagnosis:
Define happy. Yes, you can't. More to the point, you couldn't be further from the truth. What you're saying goes against the whole of your gaming experience. You shut off buying any other game/CD/KFC/water filter so that you can save your money for something that is probably untrue? Poor man. You see, everything has to be in balance. You must level your social time with your gaming time in order to stay truly focused. Ying and Yang must be at one. Your good chi must be flowing. They say that frequent medical studies in China never help…
Dr Chips' suggested Cure:
Go out more. Don't feel threatened to spend. If a rumour does turn out to be true, then beg for money, sell your arm on Ebay, or more importantly, grovel. Yes, grovel. You'll still get what you've been waiting for, but it may be a little late. Anticipation can be good, too!
"These last two statements have been about something physical, like a game. Maybe the rumour isn't physical. I remember believing that Rare were going to stay at Nintendo. When they finally left, I shut out the rest of the world. I crawled under my bed, and didn't see light for weeks."
Dr Chips' diagnosis:
Ah, a classic case of the depression through anticipation of Microsoft's notorious plans. You forgot that Rare still develop games for the GBA, and further still, you forgot that you already had an Xbox. This is definitely not normal. You see, my good fellow, your lack of realism is greatly undermined by your desperation to believe the untrue. One thing puzzles me though, how did you manage to stay alive for three weeks without eating, drinking or going to the toilet? Old pizza you say? Went through a tube you say? Interesting. This leads me to believe that you are no other than a filthy cretin, whose complete lack of sensibility has lead you down the path to depression.
Dr Chips' cure:
Buy a sock. Draw a face upon the sock, and pull it onto your arm. Talk to the sock. Let it release your inner thoughts. Pretend that he is Bill Gates. Whenever he says something you don't approve of, sock (Har-har) him one across the chops. If all else fails, I suggest a prescription of Perfect Dark.
Dr Chips' conclusion:
Rumours are lethal to the mind of many. While some can take rumours, others, like these three poorly-guided muppets, cannot. The world would be far better if rumours never existed. If certain sites only released information when it was official and approved of, we might have a future to look forward too. Therefore, I suggest we bottle all rumours at source, and ship them off into space.
Thank you for your time
Dr Chips PHD, CHIP
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Hence me quoting this from my post:
"Being the medical genius that I am not..."
:D
"Being the medical genius that I am not..."
:D
Kyz22 wrote:
> You aren't a REAL doctor, just like that crazy lady at school with an
> office. School nurse my ars...
They could be nurses, if they were clever,
And went to a medical school
And knew anything about being a nurse.
Or, generally, just how to be nice.
And didn't want to hurt everyone.
And didn't have that court ruling.
You see, they COULD have been nurses.
> You aren't a REAL doctor, just like that crazy lady at school with an
> office. School nurse my ars...
They could be nurses, if they were clever,
And went to a medical school
And knew anything about being a nurse.
Or, generally, just how to be nice.
And didn't want to hurt everyone.
And didn't have that court ruling.
You see, they COULD have been nurses.
You aren't a REAL doctor, just like that crazy lady at school with an office. School nurse my ars...
Microchips wrote:
> Hairy fish with three left feet? I wonder sometimes AJ, I do wonder.
---
Most people wonder - it's called wondering.
(Dr. AJ gives out more facts of wisdom and cheese)
> Hairy fish with three left feet? I wonder sometimes AJ, I do wonder.
---
Most people wonder - it's called wondering.
(Dr. AJ gives out more facts of wisdom and cheese)
Cheers Rick. :D
Hairy fish with three left feet? I wonder sometimes AJ, I do wonder.
Hairy fish with three left feet? I wonder sometimes AJ, I do wonder.
Heh, great post.
That reminded me of that Fred post you did, nice!
That reminded me of that Fred post you did, nice!
If you look in the left hand ventricle of your toasted carrot, you should see some floatable cheese dangling.
Eat the cheese and a passage will open up in your house into a small hole - the keys are in there, surrounded by hairy fish with 3 left feet.
Eat the cheese and a passage will open up in your house into a small hole - the keys are in there, surrounded by hairy fish with 3 left feet.
Dr AJ? Where did I leave my keys?
Dr. AJ knows all!
I can help you stir fish with your nostrils
I can assist you in the stabbing of a mountain llama called Fred
I can discover whether you are concealing any cheese in your nipples
I can teach you how to float treacle backwards while doing the Riverdance with 7 pink elephants with tonsilitis strapped to your teeth
Ask Dr. AJ, for he knows. All. Yes.
I can help you stir fish with your nostrils
I can assist you in the stabbing of a mountain llama called Fred
I can discover whether you are concealing any cheese in your nipples
I can teach you how to float treacle backwards while doing the Riverdance with 7 pink elephants with tonsilitis strapped to your teeth
Ask Dr. AJ, for he knows. All. Yes.
Hmmm, I'd rather not see Dr Dark Mark, I hear he has awful B.O and is currently in a mad love affair with a goat. Ah well.
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