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(They all speak for some unknown reason in a Oirish accent for I do not know how Yorkshire men speak)
Bill the butcher - Compo
Pretty Boy Leo - A small Irish Gypsy
The love interest - Nora Batty
Open on old Yorkshire town. It's morning and the milkman is making his morning delivery while a small Irish pikey comes up to him.
Milkman: Well hello there, Top O the morning te ye. Would ye like some milk?
Gypsy-Boy: No, I heard somewhere that milk is white. Would you imagine that? As white your teeth.
Milkman: Oh really. Next you'll be tellin me that that Butcher killed your father.
Gypsy-Boy: He did? That scum-bag. I'm gonna go train for a while with a wee irish ex-con midget so I can stab his eyes out with a spoon.
Milkman: Well that'll be grand. Bye then.
Enter Beautiful young lady
Gypsy-Boy: Hello there. Can I enquire how much it would cost for me to av-a good shufty aroung in-yer?
Nora: Ye diorty mongrel! get away from me before I stab your face repeatedly with me finger.
Gypsy-Boy: Ok then. It was wort a try. I better be off to the butchers then.
A small midget-clown appears and robs our Gypsy-Boy hero's shoes. He runs off screaming uncontrollably about the price of cheese these days and how Policemen are getting younger by the minute.
Gypsy-Boy: Arg. Come back ere ye f3ckin igit!
A small, crippled old She-Male comes up to him.
She-Male: You want shoe? I can get you shoe down black-market but it's cost you.
Gypsy-Boy: How much?
She-Male runs off eating his face.
Gypsy-Boy trains for several months under the guidance of a small irish ex-con midget with no teeth.
Gyspy-Boy: (to himself) Ok I'm ready now I'm gonna kill that butcher.
Gypsy-Boy enters butcher shop.
Compo: Hello there. Would ye like some fine quality veil? How about a buffalo testicle for your special lady?
Gypsy-Boy: Ye kill me ma and pa. Let me stab yer eye with this spoon.
Compo: Whater ye talkin about? I done no such thing.
Gypsy-Boy: But ye must ah! The milkman told me.
Compo: Oh him, he's hated me ever since I had an affair with his left eyebrow. Don't trust him. Your ma and pa aren't even dead.
Gypsy-Boy: Whata yer talkin about. Come ere and let me stab ye!
Gypsy-Boy takes his spoon- which for some reason is actually a over-sized novelty mobile phone filled with sweets and jabs the Butcher about his face. The Butcher dies in a bloody mess. Arms and legs are everywhere.
The End.
I said:
Oh well I saw Spider instead and it was rather good
And this is genius, pure genius.
Oi loike Oirish acccents - they rock.
As did this - quite short, but funnyness. :-)
(They all speak for some unknown reason in a Oirish accent for I do not know how Yorkshire men speak)
Bill the butcher - Compo
Pretty Boy Leo - A small Irish Gypsy
The love interest - Nora Batty
Open on old Yorkshire town. It's morning and the milkman is making his morning delivery while a small Irish pikey comes up to him.
Milkman: Well hello there, Top O the morning te ye. Would ye like some milk?
Gypsy-Boy: No, I heard somewhere that milk is white. Would you imagine that? As white your teeth.
Milkman: Oh really. Next you'll be tellin me that that Butcher killed your father.
Gypsy-Boy: He did? That scum-bag. I'm gonna go train for a while with a wee irish ex-con midget so I can stab his eyes out with a spoon.
Milkman: Well that'll be grand. Bye then.
Enter Beautiful young lady
Gypsy-Boy: Hello there. Can I enquire how much it would cost for me to av-a good shufty aroung in-yer?
Nora: Ye diorty mongrel! get away from me before I stab your face repeatedly with me finger.
Gypsy-Boy: Ok then. It was wort a try. I better be off to the butchers then.
A small midget-clown appears and robs our Gypsy-Boy hero's shoes. He runs off screaming uncontrollably about the price of cheese these days and how Policemen are getting younger by the minute.
Gypsy-Boy: Arg. Come back ere ye f3ckin igit!
A small, crippled old She-Male comes up to him.
She-Male: You want shoe? I can get you shoe down black-market but it's cost you.
Gypsy-Boy: How much?
She-Male runs off eating his face.
Gypsy-Boy trains for several months under the guidance of a small irish ex-con midget with no teeth.
Gyspy-Boy: (to himself) Ok I'm ready now I'm gonna kill that butcher.
Gypsy-Boy enters butcher shop.
Compo: Hello there. Would ye like some fine quality veil? How about a buffalo testicle for your special lady?
Gypsy-Boy: Ye kill me ma and pa. Let me stab yer eye with this spoon.
Compo: Whater ye talkin about? I done no such thing.
Gypsy-Boy: But ye must ah! The milkman told me.
Compo: Oh him, he's hated me ever since I had an affair with his left eyebrow. Don't trust him. Your ma and pa aren't even dead.
Gypsy-Boy: Whata yer talkin about. Come ere and let me stab ye!
Gypsy-Boy takes his spoon- which for some reason is actually a over-sized novelty mobile phone filled with sweets and jabs the Butcher about his face. The Butcher dies in a bloody mess. Arms and legs are everywhere.
The End.