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Old McDonald Inc. today announced their global domination attempt.
While this came as a shock to many, we disagree. Old McDonald, himself, isn't much of a businessman. Owning a farm with an "Oink Oink here, and an Oink Oink there" it doesn't come as a surprise that he, like many others, will fail.
Though, after an interview with a sheep today, we can confirm that his global domination ideas have drastically changed. Gone are his visions of an agricultural earth, and in their place? The takeover of the video games industry.
Bill "I have your money!" Gates was horrified that someone would do such a horrible thing. "That's my Job!" he whined, "Only I am allowed to own an 80% cut of the industry. Anything less just isn't Neato!" Microsoft has allegedly begun a series of meetings to try and thwart Old McDonald's attempts. According to information from Gates' daily online shopping list, we found:
Three tubes of Acne cream
"Fix them the geek way!" glasses tape
Three nuclear bombs
Using our highly accurate computer, we were able to decipher the meanings behind these specifically bought items. Supposedly, Gates is going through a spell of bad acne at the moment, and his favourite pair of glasses have been broken. We suspect the culprit behind this most evil of evil deeds is no other than Dolly, Head of Marketing at Old McDonald inc.
"I'm telling the truth! She mooed, whilst chewing on grass, " I really thought they were some kind of funky stress relieving device!"
To be honest, we do not know the full extent of her deeds, but at the moment, the evidence does suggest she is indeed truthful.
As for the nuclear bombs, we suspect that Gates has taken an interest in the escalating worry of war with Iraq. While this seems the most obvious choice, the idea of him attacking Old McDonald's Farm is still open.
Shigeru "My name is really Fred" Miyamoto has described Old McDonald as "Worthy competition" and is looking forward to competing against him in the console race.
We now go live to Barry, our reporter, who has some interesting news for us:
"Hello. I am fortunate enough to bring you information on McDonald's new console. The McDonald deluxe is, surprising, a nifty bit of kit. Combining a DVD drive, a telephone, toaster and a chicken feeder into one micro package, it is a wonder why Old McDonald's farm is still behind in the times."
Thanks Barry. This new approach to the console market certainly is intriguing. Hold on, NEWS JUST IN! Microsoft have this very minute released the info for the Xbox 2! The following footage is beaming sent live from MS HQ, therefore it may be unsuitable for children.
"The Xbox 2 *Slides glasses up nose* will break all known limits to video games as we know it. I'd like to thank the design team *Audience claps* Now, onto pressing issues. The red button on the top of the Box is for, get this, a very neato nuclear missile launcher. The squeezy tube on the side contains acne cream, for when gaming takes over you life, and girls still play a large part of your life *Giggles*"
"Excuse me, Mr. Gates. After looking at your online shopping list, we also noticed some Glasses tape. What will this be used for?"
"Glasses tape? *Breaks into sweat* What glasses tape? I, er, thought it was masking tape "
The Xbox 2 is not as highly anticipated as the McDonald deluxe, though 7 preorders have already been taken. However, these may be a result of Bill trying to boost sales by making his newer console looking more appealing and popular.
"Filthy swine!" remarked one woman, "You stole my underwear! They were just washed too!"
Bill declined to comment on the matter.
There you have it folks, Bill is no longer the ladies man he used to believe he was. This amazing report was brought live from Beaver news, because if it doesn't have the beaver, it's not worth reading.
Thanks for reading
Chips
While this came as a shock to many, we disagree. Old McDonald, himself, isn't much of a businessman. Owning a farm with an "Oink Oink here, and an Oink Oink there" it doesn't come as a surprise that he, like many others, will fail.
Though, after an interview with a sheep today, we can confirm that his global domination ideas have drastically changed. Gone are his visions of an agricultural earth, and in their place? The takeover of the video games industry.
Bill "I have your money!" Gates was horrified that someone would do such a horrible thing. "That's my Job!" he whined, "Only I am allowed to own an 80% cut of the industry. Anything less just isn't Neato!" Microsoft has allegedly begun a series of meetings to try and thwart Old McDonald's attempts. According to information from Gates' daily online shopping list, we found:
Three tubes of Acne cream
"Fix them the geek way!" glasses tape
Three nuclear bombs
Using our highly accurate computer, we were able to decipher the meanings behind these specifically bought items. Supposedly, Gates is going through a spell of bad acne at the moment, and his favourite pair of glasses have been broken. We suspect the culprit behind this most evil of evil deeds is no other than Dolly, Head of Marketing at Old McDonald inc.
"I'm telling the truth! She mooed, whilst chewing on grass, " I really thought they were some kind of funky stress relieving device!"
To be honest, we do not know the full extent of her deeds, but at the moment, the evidence does suggest she is indeed truthful.
As for the nuclear bombs, we suspect that Gates has taken an interest in the escalating worry of war with Iraq. While this seems the most obvious choice, the idea of him attacking Old McDonald's Farm is still open.
Shigeru "My name is really Fred" Miyamoto has described Old McDonald as "Worthy competition" and is looking forward to competing against him in the console race.
We now go live to Barry, our reporter, who has some interesting news for us:
"Hello. I am fortunate enough to bring you information on McDonald's new console. The McDonald deluxe is, surprising, a nifty bit of kit. Combining a DVD drive, a telephone, toaster and a chicken feeder into one micro package, it is a wonder why Old McDonald's farm is still behind in the times."
Thanks Barry. This new approach to the console market certainly is intriguing. Hold on, NEWS JUST IN! Microsoft have this very minute released the info for the Xbox 2! The following footage is beaming sent live from MS HQ, therefore it may be unsuitable for children.
"The Xbox 2 *Slides glasses up nose* will break all known limits to video games as we know it. I'd like to thank the design team *Audience claps* Now, onto pressing issues. The red button on the top of the Box is for, get this, a very neato nuclear missile launcher. The squeezy tube on the side contains acne cream, for when gaming takes over you life, and girls still play a large part of your life *Giggles*"
"Excuse me, Mr. Gates. After looking at your online shopping list, we also noticed some Glasses tape. What will this be used for?"
"Glasses tape? *Breaks into sweat* What glasses tape? I, er, thought it was masking tape "
The Xbox 2 is not as highly anticipated as the McDonald deluxe, though 7 preorders have already been taken. However, these may be a result of Bill trying to boost sales by making his newer console looking more appealing and popular.
"Filthy swine!" remarked one woman, "You stole my underwear! They were just washed too!"
Bill declined to comment on the matter.
There you have it folks, Bill is no longer the ladies man he used to believe he was. This amazing report was brought live from Beaver news, because if it doesn't have the beaver, it's not worth reading.
Thanks for reading
Chips
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Er, yes....
:/
:/
Microchips wrote:
> LOL!
>
> AJ is one big joke.
>
> :D
That's not very nice.
> LOL!
>
> AJ is one big joke.
>
> :D
That's not very nice.
LOL!
AJ was always one for a joke.
:D
AJ was always one for a joke.
:D
Laughs at main post and AJs reply.
:D
:D
«-SnȘil Male«- wrote:
> I can't be bothered to red it so somebody explain it to me in less
> than 50 words
---
"I don't want idiots reading me. Shove off"
There, far less than 50 words.
> I can't be bothered to red it so somebody explain it to me in less
> than 50 words
---
"I don't want idiots reading me. Shove off"
There, far less than 50 words.
I can't be bothered to red it so somebody explain it to me in less than 50 words
Lol. Thanks
*gives Tribbers Chips*
:D
*gives Tribbers Chips*
:D
Lol! 'An oink oink here, and an Oink Oink there.'
Superb, amazing, farse and well written, true Chips formula. ;-)
Superb, amazing, farse and well written, true Chips formula. ;-)
Microchips wrote:
> "Filthy swine!" remarked one woman, "You stole my
> underwear! They were just washed too!"
>
> Bill declined to comment on the matter.
Class. Pure Class
> Chips
If you're offering
> "Filthy swine!" remarked one woman, "You stole my
> underwear! They were just washed too!"
>
> Bill declined to comment on the matter.
Class. Pure Class
> Chips
If you're offering
POP!
:D
:D
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