The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
It was a day like any other… extremely weird. I woke up (like you do), and attempted to get dressed… well a night of vodka takes its toll. I’d finished tugging my jeans over my head and decided to use a mirror to see how stupid I looked!
20 minutes later: After rearranging my clothes and realising I wanted to go back to bed, I set off downstairs… and had a nice healthy breakfast, a bag of crisps and a half a can of coke… which surprisingly enough didn’t help my headache at all. After lounging around for an hour or so (my hangover subsiding) I finally had the energy to begin my errands for the day.
First I needed to go and get the necessary food items for the week… noodles, rice, crisps and coke! I ventured out on foot to the shop… (A very noisy 6 mile walk) when I spotted a note on the ground. I picked up the note and read it. A poem… not what I was expecting… the note read;
To the finder of the script,
You probably don’t give a s#!t,
That lying beneath the port of Dover,
Is a statue of a dog called rover.
In the legend I’ve been told,
It’s made out of solid gold,
A nice piece of metal if you care to find,
The statue of that dog’s behind.
A fate of death for any that tries,
To get the dog for a personal prize,
It’s the end for all if a bad guy should,
Take the figure from the good.
The safety of the games industry is just a farce,
So get that statue you stupid @r5e!
I suddenly got a feeling of responsibility but I don’t know why… I had to study this note! I took it home and looked at it for a whole 3 hours… I mean is that commitment or what? Anyway, I came up with ideas of what the note was all about:
1: Some weirdo was playing a practical joke.
2: My sister was playing a practical joke… oh wait, that’s 1 again.
3: Someone wanted me to go and chop off the back end of a dog and dip it in gold.
4: Somebody was crap at writing love letters… or
5: I had to go on a mission to retrieve a sacred statue, that if it went into the wrong hands would put an end to the gaming industry… a change that would affect all of us… except those stupid politicians who blame gaming for violence… if they had it their way anything electronic would be burnt at the stake! Damn politicians can’t tell the truth without their heads exploding or releasing a scandal.
Anyway… I knew what I had to do… I had to save the world’s gaming industry… I had to use the golden hind for the power of good… I somehow had to create a console war free industry… a united console… Eureka! I’d done it. An idea that future generations would profit from!
My adventure began! I packed a rucksack full of essentials:
Clothes (especially clean tighty whities… I felt I’d need them!)
Pistol (guess what that’s for)
Food (Lightweight fish food… umm I spose I coulda got some food when I went out)
And………… a Gameboy Advance! (Well it might get boring)
Next I had to decide how the hell I was gonna get there… I was practically skint! Busking, sell some of my games… or I could hitchhike!
I got into the first car I could that was going in the general direction of Dover… there was this one guy on his way to Liverpool who said Dover was on his way… now even I’m not that crap at Geography… anyway I was in this car on my way to Dover and the driver pulled the car off into a lay-by, he turned around and I let out a girly Flanders’s scream. It was… *duh duh duh* Dr. Live… it was clear to me that he was just evil spelt backwards! With his sidekick Cooper in the passenger seat… with his sidekick mini cooper *that is probably the worst joke I’ve ever made!* sitting on his lap.
Straight away my hand shot for the door handle… it was shut tight, damn that child lock!!!
Vote yes for more... or no for no more
also feel free to express your own opinions on it.
> Well I thought it was funny!
So did I weird wonder, so did I. I'm not being sarcastic there, I like the bit about the 'healthy' breakfast, that's pretty much what I have! :)
Try again
It was a day like any other… extremely weird. I woke up (like you do), and attempted to get dressed… well a night of vodka takes its toll. I’d finished tugging my jeans over my head and decided to use a mirror to see how stupid I looked!
20 minutes later: After rearranging my clothes and realising I wanted to go back to bed, I set off downstairs… and had a nice healthy breakfast, a bag of crisps and a half a can of coke… which surprisingly enough didn’t help my headache at all. After lounging around for an hour or so (my hangover subsiding) I finally had the energy to begin my errands for the day.
First I needed to go and get the necessary food items for the week… noodles, rice, crisps and coke! I ventured out on foot to the shop… (A very noisy 6 mile walk) when I spotted a note on the ground. I picked up the note and read it. A poem… not what I was expecting… the note read;
To the finder of the script,
You probably don’t give a s#!t,
That lying beneath the port of Dover,
Is a statue of a dog called rover.
In the legend I’ve been told,
It’s made out of solid gold,
A nice piece of metal if you care to find,
The statue of that dog’s behind.
A fate of death for any that tries,
To get the dog for a personal prize,
It’s the end for all if a bad guy should,
Take the figure from the good.
The safety of the games industry is just a farce,
So get that statue you stupid @r5e!
I suddenly got a feeling of responsibility but I don’t know why… I had to study this note! I took it home and looked at it for a whole 3 hours… I mean is that commitment or what? Anyway, I came up with ideas of what the note was all about:
1: Some weirdo was playing a practical joke.
2: My sister was playing a practical joke… oh wait, that’s 1 again.
3: Someone wanted me to go and chop off the back end of a dog and dip it in gold.
4: Somebody was crap at writing love letters… or
5: I had to go on a mission to retrieve a sacred statue, that if it went into the wrong hands would put an end to the gaming industry… a change that would affect all of us… except those stupid politicians who blame gaming for violence… if they had it their way anything electronic would be burnt at the stake! Damn politicians can’t tell the truth without their heads exploding or releasing a scandal.
Anyway… I knew what I had to do… I had to save the world’s gaming industry… I had to use the golden hind for the power of good… I somehow had to create a console war free industry… a united console… Eureka! I’d done it. An idea that future generations would profit from!
My adventure began! I packed a rucksack full of essentials:
Clothes (especially clean tighty whities… I felt I’d need them!)
Pistol (guess what that’s for)
Food (Lightweight fish food… umm I spose I coulda got some food when I went out)
And………… a Gameboy Advance! (Well it might get boring)
Next I had to decide how the hell I was gonna get there… I was practically skint! Busking, sell some of my games… or I could hitchhike!
I got into the first car I could that was going in the general direction of Dover… there was this one guy on his way to Liverpool who said Dover was on his way… now even I’m not that crap at Geography… anyway I was in this car on my way to Dover and the driver pulled the car off into a lay-by, he turned around and I let out a girly Flanders’s scream. It was… *duh duh duh* Dr. Live… it was clear to me that he was just evil spelt backwards! With his sidekick Cooper in the passenger seat… with his sidekick mini cooper *that is probably the worst joke I’ve ever made!* sitting on his lap.
Straight away my hand shot for the door handle… it was shut tight, damn that child lock!!!
Vote yes for more... or no for no more
also feel free to express your own opinions on it.