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Dear Gamer,
A year ago I died and I went to Hell.
But hey, what on earth did I expect - I was a drug-dealing murderer!
But those days are behind me now - just old news.
You see, my true purpose in writing this letter is to tell you all that down here in Lord Lucifer's fiery underworld there's a thriving gaming community!
Tis' true.
All the red night long, me and my fellow sinners just sit around playing devilishly cool videogames.
Who would've believed it, eh?!
Anyway, I guess you're all wondering what games are popular down here, right?
Well, first off, the hottest title at the moment is a game called "doG".
It's a first-person shooter that places you in the role of an angel-mashing demon called Nicky Firefly.
In a nutshell: your orders are to infiltrate the gardens and palaces of Heaven armed with an arsenal of supernatural weaponry and dish out as much merry hell as you can.
Man, the "DarkSpank" laser gun (my fave) locks-on to an angel's halo and turns it into a razor-sharp carousel of doom. I tell ya, watching an angel's head fly off then pop like a ripe tomato is truly satisfying, believe me!
And the game is MASSIVE! 666 levels! It's gotta be the biggest game I've ever played!
Another popular game in these parts is "AntiChrist: The Legacy" - believed to be Lord Lucifer's favourite title.
Set in the days of Armegeddon, it's a civilisation-building war strategy sim.
Basically, you have to invade the United States of America with Lucifer's Dark Legions, crush all Christian resistance, build and create new evil empires, and ultimately ensure the destruction of the returning Son of God.
Great entertainment and incredibly immersive! The graphics have to be seen to be believed!
Other games you MUST check out when you eventually get here are:
-Satan's Dark Delight 2.
-Black Mass Racing.
-Pyro the Church-burning Dragon.
-Nude Nun Boxing.
-Adventures Of An Orgy-lovin' He-goat.
-Angelic Bloodbath 3.
-To The Devil A Daughter.
-Born Again Sinner.
-Spankman.
-The Cloven Hoof.
-Serial Killer 4.
-Badworld: Astaroth's Oddysee.
And there are many, many more I could mention! And it goes without saying that there are numerous games currently in development!
God knows what they do in Heaven, but it can't be as swish as playing videogames forever can it?
So my advice to all you still-living gamers is: do bad things, become more evil, do whatever it takes to book yourself a one-way ticket to Lucifer's wonderland, and you'll be playing the games of your dreams for all eternity!
Think about it.
Yours Unfaithfully,
Jack Spitzer (1976-2002)
A year ago I died and I went to Hell.
But hey, what on earth did I expect - I was a drug-dealing murderer!
But those days are behind me now - just old news.
You see, my true purpose in writing this letter is to tell you all that down here in Lord Lucifer's fiery underworld there's a thriving gaming community!
Tis' true.
All the red night long, me and my fellow sinners just sit around playing devilishly cool videogames.
Who would've believed it, eh?!
Anyway, I guess you're all wondering what games are popular down here, right?
Well, first off, the hottest title at the moment is a game called "doG".
It's a first-person shooter that places you in the role of an angel-mashing demon called Nicky Firefly.
In a nutshell: your orders are to infiltrate the gardens and palaces of Heaven armed with an arsenal of supernatural weaponry and dish out as much merry hell as you can.
Man, the "DarkSpank" laser gun (my fave) locks-on to an angel's halo and turns it into a razor-sharp carousel of doom. I tell ya, watching an angel's head fly off then pop like a ripe tomato is truly satisfying, believe me!
And the game is MASSIVE! 666 levels! It's gotta be the biggest game I've ever played!
Another popular game in these parts is "AntiChrist: The Legacy" - believed to be Lord Lucifer's favourite title.
Set in the days of Armegeddon, it's a civilisation-building war strategy sim.
Basically, you have to invade the United States of America with Lucifer's Dark Legions, crush all Christian resistance, build and create new evil empires, and ultimately ensure the destruction of the returning Son of God.
Great entertainment and incredibly immersive! The graphics have to be seen to be believed!
Other games you MUST check out when you eventually get here are:
-Satan's Dark Delight 2.
-Black Mass Racing.
-Pyro the Church-burning Dragon.
-Nude Nun Boxing.
-Adventures Of An Orgy-lovin' He-goat.
-Angelic Bloodbath 3.
-To The Devil A Daughter.
-Born Again Sinner.
-Spankman.
-The Cloven Hoof.
-Serial Killer 4.
-Badworld: Astaroth's Oddysee.
And there are many, many more I could mention! And it goes without saying that there are numerous games currently in development!
God knows what they do in Heaven, but it can't be as swish as playing videogames forever can it?
So my advice to all you still-living gamers is: do bad things, become more evil, do whatever it takes to book yourself a one-way ticket to Lucifer's wonderland, and you'll be playing the games of your dreams for all eternity!
Think about it.
Yours Unfaithfully,
Jack Spitzer (1976-2002)
Dear Gamer,
A year ago I died and I went to Hell.
But hey, what on earth did I expect - I was a drug-dealing murderer!
But those days are behind me now - just old news.
You see, my true purpose in writing this letter is to tell you all that down here in Lord Lucifer's fiery underworld there's a thriving gaming community!
Tis' true.
All the red night long, me and my fellow sinners just sit around playing devilishly cool videogames.
Who would've believed it, eh?!
Anyway, I guess you're all wondering what games are popular down here, right?
Well, first off, the hottest title at the moment is a game called "doG".
It's a first-person shooter that places you in the role of an angel-mashing demon called Nicky Firefly.
In a nutshell: your orders are to infiltrate the gardens and palaces of Heaven armed with an arsenal of supernatural weaponry and dish out as much merry hell as you can.
Man, the "DarkSpank" laser gun (my fave) locks-on to an angel's halo and turns it into a razor-sharp carousel of doom. I tell ya, watching an angel's head fly off then pop like a ripe tomato is truly satisfying, believe me!
And the game is MASSIVE! 666 levels! It's gotta be the biggest game I've ever played!
Another popular game in these parts is "AntiChrist: The Legacy" - believed to be Lord Lucifer's favourite title.
Set in the days of Armegeddon, it's a civilisation-building war strategy sim.
Basically, you have to invade the United States of America with Lucifer's Dark Legions, crush all Christian resistance, build and create new evil empires, and ultimately ensure the destruction of the returning Son of God.
Great entertainment and incredibly immersive! The graphics have to be seen to be believed!
Other games you MUST check out when you eventually get here are:
-Satan's Dark Delight 2.
-Black Mass Racing.
-Pyro the Church-burning Dragon.
-Nude Nun Boxing.
-Adventures Of An Orgy-lovin' He-goat.
-Angelic Bloodbath 3.
-To The Devil A Daughter.
-Born Again Sinner.
-Spankman.
-The Cloven Hoof.
-Serial Killer 4.
-Badworld: Astaroth's Oddysee.
And there are many, many more I could mention! And it goes without saying that there are numerous games currently in development!
God knows what they do in Heaven, but it can't be as swish as playing videogames forever can it?
So my advice to all you still-living gamers is: do bad things, become more evil, do whatever it takes to book yourself a one-way ticket to Lucifer's wonderland, and you'll be playing the games of your dreams for all eternity!
Think about it.
Yours Unfaithfully,
Jack Spitzer (1976-2002)
A year ago I died and I went to Hell.
But hey, what on earth did I expect - I was a drug-dealing murderer!
But those days are behind me now - just old news.
You see, my true purpose in writing this letter is to tell you all that down here in Lord Lucifer's fiery underworld there's a thriving gaming community!
Tis' true.
All the red night long, me and my fellow sinners just sit around playing devilishly cool videogames.
Who would've believed it, eh?!
Anyway, I guess you're all wondering what games are popular down here, right?
Well, first off, the hottest title at the moment is a game called "doG".
It's a first-person shooter that places you in the role of an angel-mashing demon called Nicky Firefly.
In a nutshell: your orders are to infiltrate the gardens and palaces of Heaven armed with an arsenal of supernatural weaponry and dish out as much merry hell as you can.
Man, the "DarkSpank" laser gun (my fave) locks-on to an angel's halo and turns it into a razor-sharp carousel of doom. I tell ya, watching an angel's head fly off then pop like a ripe tomato is truly satisfying, believe me!
And the game is MASSIVE! 666 levels! It's gotta be the biggest game I've ever played!
Another popular game in these parts is "AntiChrist: The Legacy" - believed to be Lord Lucifer's favourite title.
Set in the days of Armegeddon, it's a civilisation-building war strategy sim.
Basically, you have to invade the United States of America with Lucifer's Dark Legions, crush all Christian resistance, build and create new evil empires, and ultimately ensure the destruction of the returning Son of God.
Great entertainment and incredibly immersive! The graphics have to be seen to be believed!
Other games you MUST check out when you eventually get here are:
-Satan's Dark Delight 2.
-Black Mass Racing.
-Pyro the Church-burning Dragon.
-Nude Nun Boxing.
-Adventures Of An Orgy-lovin' He-goat.
-Angelic Bloodbath 3.
-To The Devil A Daughter.
-Born Again Sinner.
-Spankman.
-The Cloven Hoof.
-Serial Killer 4.
-Badworld: Astaroth's Oddysee.
And there are many, many more I could mention! And it goes without saying that there are numerous games currently in development!
God knows what they do in Heaven, but it can't be as swish as playing videogames forever can it?
So my advice to all you still-living gamers is: do bad things, become more evil, do whatever it takes to book yourself a one-way ticket to Lucifer's wonderland, and you'll be playing the games of your dreams for all eternity!
Think about it.
Yours Unfaithfully,
Jack Spitzer (1976-2002)
Great new from the underworld - my place is booked. What console are we playing on as I may need to practice
And the kid thinks he's in hell...
Ineedsleep wrote:
> Great new from the underworld - my place is booked. What console are
> we playing on as I may need to practice
Well I've heard there's no console wars in Hell. Everyone uses the same super-machine - the dwellers just call it "The Magic Box". It has a graphics chip that'll make your eyes bleed.
> Great new from the underworld - my place is booked. What console are
> we playing on as I may need to practice
Well I've heard there's no console wars in Hell. Everyone uses the same super-machine - the dwellers just call it "The Magic Box". It has a graphics chip that'll make your eyes bleed.
Odd
Odin wrote:
> Odd
Well in my book -opens huge dusty tome- odd = good.
> Odd
Well in my book -opens huge dusty tome- odd = good.
Nerevar wrote:
> Black Mass Racing
That made me chuckle. :)
> Black Mass Racing
That made me chuckle. :)
Yeah, I can see it now: the Grim Reaper overtakes the grand wizard of the Klu Klux Klan at the finishing-line after sending his cart into a spin with his "hand-of-death" power-up.
Two things-You are sick,twisted and bent
part 2-what ever compelled you to right that load of crap?you are seriously gay
part 2-what ever compelled you to right that load of crap?you are seriously gay