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It was a cold, dark dreary morning under the grey skies of the worst place in america. The plane was shaking uncontrollably as its wing span was as small as Vinnie G's testosterone levels. My berreta was stirring nervously under my coat, as no one had tryed to shoot me in days. Not being able to kill was driving me more mad then ever before. I had come to liberty to forget the trouble's of New york, but i couldnt escape. I never would.
the plane landed on the edge of a the single runway. Even from here i could see the cop cars waiting on ramps to bust anyone who dared challenge them, or maybe they were waiting for drugs shipments - every official can be corrupted. The red plane was emptied and we were all hustled quickly through the check in. I dont remember that much, my memory only records a white blur really. Outside the main door i could see the bridge to staunton. I needed to get to portland however, so i took the subway. Posters for a play called 'pirates in men's pants' stared back at me. This place was serously warped.
As i entered the train i remembered my mission. After wasting most of the mafia in NY, the trail had lead me here, to one of the lower family members, a guy called Luigi. My guess was he wasnt a plumber. He was involved in a stripjoint in the red light district. i needed to head there and play it bogart, so i would take in the loverly sights before i made my move.
As i crawled out of the station in chinatown, i felt sick. i could see the crime destroying the city, like a cancer. People were being beaten on the streets like dogs, for little green bits of glowing money. I needed to finish this fast. I went in the road and stopped a cab. " Luigi's".
during the whole trip the guy said nothing, but he kept changing the radio station like a madman. Also his quiff looked distinctly like my own. We looked like a couple of rockstars. We pulled up to the neon sign, and i got out. For some reason i kept thinking about a 'speed' bonus, and gave the guy twice what i meant to. I went round the back of the place and entered the seedy underbelly of liberty.
After enjoying the personal entertainment of a girl called misty, i saw luigi. How coulkd i miss a suit like that. I walked up, holding the gun to him through my coat. As the end impressed itself into his skin, he began to speak. " max payne i presume? is that a gun in you pocket or are you just happy to see me?" I shouldnt have been surprised. all those mafia dogs in NY new my name better than i did ( before i killed them) so it wouldnt be any different here.
" before you decide to do something rash, maybe i should take you to my boss?" " alright. But one wrong move and you'll be meeting the rest of your extended family" He took me outside again but before the murky daylight hit us he suddenly burst out again. "Watch yourself max, this guy is THE king of crime. He owns all the gangs now. From takin down police choppers to squareing off with the whole freakin army in a stolen rhino, this guy is THE man." he really messed up the columbians..." the low life went on to describe something about the columbian cartel and a drug called 'spank'. It seemed to do the same thing as valkire. Why did everyone have to try the violent stuff? wasnt a nice relaxing spliff good enough? I was glad it was off the streets, but these coincidences were beginning to get under my skin.
here we are. We were waiting outside, next to my taxi. I was expecting the sky to fall or something impressive like that. Instead my taxi driver (who wore rather disgusting green cargo pants) got out. " ahh, MR nobody!" lugi hugged him. I wondered if i had got the wrong kind of strip joint. " this here is the man!" lugi shouted out. He leaned over and whispered as quietly as he could. " he doesnt ever talk, he doesnt even have a name. All i know is dont p*ss him off, or you will be eating an' s*itting through a straw if your lucky"
This was the crime boss? what a joke. He was just a kid. I pulled out my beretta, and capped him , right in the chest. Unfortunatly, like me he seemed to have the uncanny ability to eat lead and spit out the reamins like they were paper. I went into bullet time, where my mind goes into a state of intense concentration and reflex. Beofre i could pulle out the trusty double barrel though, he popped a white and red pill. I dont know what quite happened next, but it took us about an hour to pull our guns out an take cover. I ran out, but still the effect went on. I was getting nervous.
The guy pulled out an AK 47 and started plugging at my cover. I make a slow dive out with both berreta's blazing but our bullets collided and canceled each other out. This needed a personal touch. I got out my old trusty baseball bat. To my surprise he pulled out an exact replica, with matching red stripe at the top. I was really tripping now - never eat airline food kids.
A battle of jedi preportions broke out. One of my strikes rebounded and smashe luigi's face like a brittle wine bottle. He was lying down in a pool of his own blood. dirty scumbag got what he deserved. However a siren went off far away, and an ambualnce came past. I stared at it too long, and Nobady got the upper hand. I hit the floor hard. As i got up, Nobody pulled out a uzi and capped the paramnedics. I reached for the eagle. I only got three shots off before he managed to escape the ambulance, with the siren blazing and the door hanging open.
It was over - for now. something told mr nowbody was really a very important somebody. He was so much like me i really needed to find out more before our next encounter. " next time."
the plane landed on the edge of a the single runway. Even from here i could see the cop cars waiting on ramps to bust anyone who dared challenge them, or maybe they were waiting for drugs shipments - every official can be corrupted. The red plane was emptied and we were all hustled quickly through the check in. I dont remember that much, my memory only records a white blur really. Outside the main door i could see the bridge to staunton. I needed to get to portland however, so i took the subway. Posters for a play called 'pirates in men's pants' stared back at me. This place was serously warped.
As i entered the train i remembered my mission. After wasting most of the mafia in NY, the trail had lead me here, to one of the lower family members, a guy called Luigi. My guess was he wasnt a plumber. He was involved in a stripjoint in the red light district. i needed to head there and play it bogart, so i would take in the loverly sights before i made my move.
As i crawled out of the station in chinatown, i felt sick. i could see the crime destroying the city, like a cancer. People were being beaten on the streets like dogs, for little green bits of glowing money. I needed to finish this fast. I went in the road and stopped a cab. " Luigi's".
during the whole trip the guy said nothing, but he kept changing the radio station like a madman. Also his quiff looked distinctly like my own. We looked like a couple of rockstars. We pulled up to the neon sign, and i got out. For some reason i kept thinking about a 'speed' bonus, and gave the guy twice what i meant to. I went round the back of the place and entered the seedy underbelly of liberty.
After enjoying the personal entertainment of a girl called misty, i saw luigi. How coulkd i miss a suit like that. I walked up, holding the gun to him through my coat. As the end impressed itself into his skin, he began to speak. " max payne i presume? is that a gun in you pocket or are you just happy to see me?" I shouldnt have been surprised. all those mafia dogs in NY new my name better than i did ( before i killed them) so it wouldnt be any different here.
" before you decide to do something rash, maybe i should take you to my boss?" " alright. But one wrong move and you'll be meeting the rest of your extended family" He took me outside again but before the murky daylight hit us he suddenly burst out again. "Watch yourself max, this guy is THE king of crime. He owns all the gangs now. From takin down police choppers to squareing off with the whole freakin army in a stolen rhino, this guy is THE man." he really messed up the columbians..." the low life went on to describe something about the columbian cartel and a drug called 'spank'. It seemed to do the same thing as valkire. Why did everyone have to try the violent stuff? wasnt a nice relaxing spliff good enough? I was glad it was off the streets, but these coincidences were beginning to get under my skin.
here we are. We were waiting outside, next to my taxi. I was expecting the sky to fall or something impressive like that. Instead my taxi driver (who wore rather disgusting green cargo pants) got out. " ahh, MR nobody!" lugi hugged him. I wondered if i had got the wrong kind of strip joint. " this here is the man!" lugi shouted out. He leaned over and whispered as quietly as he could. " he doesnt ever talk, he doesnt even have a name. All i know is dont p*ss him off, or you will be eating an' s*itting through a straw if your lucky"
This was the crime boss? what a joke. He was just a kid. I pulled out my beretta, and capped him , right in the chest. Unfortunatly, like me he seemed to have the uncanny ability to eat lead and spit out the reamins like they were paper. I went into bullet time, where my mind goes into a state of intense concentration and reflex. Beofre i could pulle out the trusty double barrel though, he popped a white and red pill. I dont know what quite happened next, but it took us about an hour to pull our guns out an take cover. I ran out, but still the effect went on. I was getting nervous.
The guy pulled out an AK 47 and started plugging at my cover. I make a slow dive out with both berreta's blazing but our bullets collided and canceled each other out. This needed a personal touch. I got out my old trusty baseball bat. To my surprise he pulled out an exact replica, with matching red stripe at the top. I was really tripping now - never eat airline food kids.
A battle of jedi preportions broke out. One of my strikes rebounded and smashe luigi's face like a brittle wine bottle. He was lying down in a pool of his own blood. dirty scumbag got what he deserved. However a siren went off far away, and an ambualnce came past. I stared at it too long, and Nobady got the upper hand. I hit the floor hard. As i got up, Nobody pulled out a uzi and capped the paramnedics. I reached for the eagle. I only got three shots off before he managed to escape the ambulance, with the siren blazing and the door hanging open.
It was over - for now. something told mr nowbody was really a very important somebody. He was so much like me i really needed to find out more before our next encounter. " next time."
Page:
It was a cold, dark dreary morning under the grey skies of the worst place in america. The plane was shaking uncontrollably as its wing span was as small as Vinnie G's testosterone levels. My berreta was stirring nervously under my coat, as no one had tryed to shoot me in days. Not being able to kill was driving me more mad then ever before. I had come to liberty to forget the trouble's of New york, but i couldnt escape. I never would.
the plane landed on the edge of a the single runway. Even from here i could see the cop cars waiting on ramps to bust anyone who dared challenge them, or maybe they were waiting for drugs shipments - every official can be corrupted. The red plane was emptied and we were all hustled quickly through the check in. I dont remember that much, my memory only records a white blur really. Outside the main door i could see the bridge to staunton. I needed to get to portland however, so i took the subway. Posters for a play called 'pirates in men's pants' stared back at me. This place was serously warped.
As i entered the train i remembered my mission. After wasting most of the mafia in NY, the trail had lead me here, to one of the lower family members, a guy called Luigi. My guess was he wasnt a plumber. He was involved in a stripjoint in the red light district. i needed to head there and play it bogart, so i would take in the loverly sights before i made my move.
As i crawled out of the station in chinatown, i felt sick. i could see the crime destroying the city, like a cancer. People were being beaten on the streets like dogs, for little green bits of glowing money. I needed to finish this fast. I went in the road and stopped a cab. " Luigi's".
during the whole trip the guy said nothing, but he kept changing the radio station like a madman. Also his quiff looked distinctly like my own. We looked like a couple of rockstars. We pulled up to the neon sign, and i got out. For some reason i kept thinking about a 'speed' bonus, and gave the guy twice what i meant to. I went round the back of the place and entered the seedy underbelly of liberty.
After enjoying the personal entertainment of a girl called misty, i saw luigi. How coulkd i miss a suit like that. I walked up, holding the gun to him through my coat. As the end impressed itself into his skin, he began to speak. " max payne i presume? is that a gun in you pocket or are you just happy to see me?" I shouldnt have been surprised. all those mafia dogs in NY new my name better than i did ( before i killed them) so it wouldnt be any different here.
" before you decide to do something rash, maybe i should take you to my boss?" " alright. But one wrong move and you'll be meeting the rest of your extended family" He took me outside again but before the murky daylight hit us he suddenly burst out again. "Watch yourself max, this guy is THE king of crime. He owns all the gangs now. From takin down police choppers to squareing off with the whole freakin army in a stolen rhino, this guy is THE man." he really messed up the columbians..." the low life went on to describe something about the columbian cartel and a drug called 'spank'. It seemed to do the same thing as valkire. Why did everyone have to try the violent stuff? wasnt a nice relaxing spliff good enough? I was glad it was off the streets, but these coincidences were beginning to get under my skin.
here we are. We were waiting outside, next to my taxi. I was expecting the sky to fall or something impressive like that. Instead my taxi driver (who wore rather disgusting green cargo pants) got out. " ahh, MR nobody!" lugi hugged him. I wondered if i had got the wrong kind of strip joint. " this here is the man!" lugi shouted out. He leaned over and whispered as quietly as he could. " he doesnt ever talk, he doesnt even have a name. All i know is dont p*ss him off, or you will be eating an' s*itting through a straw if your lucky"
This was the crime boss? what a joke. He was just a kid. I pulled out my beretta, and capped him , right in the chest. Unfortunatly, like me he seemed to have the uncanny ability to eat lead and spit out the reamins like they were paper. I went into bullet time, where my mind goes into a state of intense concentration and reflex. Beofre i could pulle out the trusty double barrel though, he popped a white and red pill. I dont know what quite happened next, but it took us about an hour to pull our guns out an take cover. I ran out, but still the effect went on. I was getting nervous.
The guy pulled out an AK 47 and started plugging at my cover. I make a slow dive out with both berreta's blazing but our bullets collided and canceled each other out. This needed a personal touch. I got out my old trusty baseball bat. To my surprise he pulled out an exact replica, with matching red stripe at the top. I was really tripping now - never eat airline food kids.
A battle of jedi preportions broke out. One of my strikes rebounded and smashe luigi's face like a brittle wine bottle. He was lying down in a pool of his own blood. dirty scumbag got what he deserved. However a siren went off far away, and an ambualnce came past. I stared at it too long, and Nobady got the upper hand. I hit the floor hard. As i got up, Nobody pulled out a uzi and capped the paramnedics. I reached for the eagle. I only got three shots off before he managed to escape the ambulance, with the siren blazing and the door hanging open.
It was over - for now. something told mr nowbody was really a very important somebody. He was so much like me i really needed to find out more before our next encounter. " next time."
the plane landed on the edge of a the single runway. Even from here i could see the cop cars waiting on ramps to bust anyone who dared challenge them, or maybe they were waiting for drugs shipments - every official can be corrupted. The red plane was emptied and we were all hustled quickly through the check in. I dont remember that much, my memory only records a white blur really. Outside the main door i could see the bridge to staunton. I needed to get to portland however, so i took the subway. Posters for a play called 'pirates in men's pants' stared back at me. This place was serously warped.
As i entered the train i remembered my mission. After wasting most of the mafia in NY, the trail had lead me here, to one of the lower family members, a guy called Luigi. My guess was he wasnt a plumber. He was involved in a stripjoint in the red light district. i needed to head there and play it bogart, so i would take in the loverly sights before i made my move.
As i crawled out of the station in chinatown, i felt sick. i could see the crime destroying the city, like a cancer. People were being beaten on the streets like dogs, for little green bits of glowing money. I needed to finish this fast. I went in the road and stopped a cab. " Luigi's".
during the whole trip the guy said nothing, but he kept changing the radio station like a madman. Also his quiff looked distinctly like my own. We looked like a couple of rockstars. We pulled up to the neon sign, and i got out. For some reason i kept thinking about a 'speed' bonus, and gave the guy twice what i meant to. I went round the back of the place and entered the seedy underbelly of liberty.
After enjoying the personal entertainment of a girl called misty, i saw luigi. How coulkd i miss a suit like that. I walked up, holding the gun to him through my coat. As the end impressed itself into his skin, he began to speak. " max payne i presume? is that a gun in you pocket or are you just happy to see me?" I shouldnt have been surprised. all those mafia dogs in NY new my name better than i did ( before i killed them) so it wouldnt be any different here.
" before you decide to do something rash, maybe i should take you to my boss?" " alright. But one wrong move and you'll be meeting the rest of your extended family" He took me outside again but before the murky daylight hit us he suddenly burst out again. "Watch yourself max, this guy is THE king of crime. He owns all the gangs now. From takin down police choppers to squareing off with the whole freakin army in a stolen rhino, this guy is THE man." he really messed up the columbians..." the low life went on to describe something about the columbian cartel and a drug called 'spank'. It seemed to do the same thing as valkire. Why did everyone have to try the violent stuff? wasnt a nice relaxing spliff good enough? I was glad it was off the streets, but these coincidences were beginning to get under my skin.
here we are. We were waiting outside, next to my taxi. I was expecting the sky to fall or something impressive like that. Instead my taxi driver (who wore rather disgusting green cargo pants) got out. " ahh, MR nobody!" lugi hugged him. I wondered if i had got the wrong kind of strip joint. " this here is the man!" lugi shouted out. He leaned over and whispered as quietly as he could. " he doesnt ever talk, he doesnt even have a name. All i know is dont p*ss him off, or you will be eating an' s*itting through a straw if your lucky"
This was the crime boss? what a joke. He was just a kid. I pulled out my beretta, and capped him , right in the chest. Unfortunatly, like me he seemed to have the uncanny ability to eat lead and spit out the reamins like they were paper. I went into bullet time, where my mind goes into a state of intense concentration and reflex. Beofre i could pulle out the trusty double barrel though, he popped a white and red pill. I dont know what quite happened next, but it took us about an hour to pull our guns out an take cover. I ran out, but still the effect went on. I was getting nervous.
The guy pulled out an AK 47 and started plugging at my cover. I make a slow dive out with both berreta's blazing but our bullets collided and canceled each other out. This needed a personal touch. I got out my old trusty baseball bat. To my surprise he pulled out an exact replica, with matching red stripe at the top. I was really tripping now - never eat airline food kids.
A battle of jedi preportions broke out. One of my strikes rebounded and smashe luigi's face like a brittle wine bottle. He was lying down in a pool of his own blood. dirty scumbag got what he deserved. However a siren went off far away, and an ambualnce came past. I stared at it too long, and Nobady got the upper hand. I hit the floor hard. As i got up, Nobody pulled out a uzi and capped the paramnedics. I reached for the eagle. I only got three shots off before he managed to escape the ambulance, with the siren blazing and the door hanging open.
It was over - for now. something told mr nowbody was really a very important somebody. He was so much like me i really needed to find out more before our next encounter. " next time."
put it in paragraphs please!
My eyes hurt
My eyes hurt
should put a line total space
like this
like this
Wot iz the point in making up tht story/(which woz um...interesting)YYYYYYYY?
Edwin27 wrote:
Please, will anyone reply with a sensible point or complaint or something. PLEASE.
I'm going to complain.
Please, will anyone reply with a sensible point or complaint or something. PLEASE.
I'm going to complain.
I'm going to complain:
Your use of tenses was discontinuous
Your spelling was shot to pieces
And you need to use
line spaces, to make it easier to read.
Your use of tenses was discontinuous
Your spelling was shot to pieces
And you need to use
line spaces, to make it easier to read.
line
spaces
like
i
said
spaces
like
i
said
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