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These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court." These are things people ACTUALLY said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
___________________________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
_____________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at moment of the
impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_____________________________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your
memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of
something you've forgotten?
______________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember
which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said
to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
_____________________________________
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
_____________________________________
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
____________________________________
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to
school for it.
_____________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
______________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old
is he?
_____________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was
taken?
_____________________________________
Q: So the date of conception of (the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
_____________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
_____________________________________
Q: You say the stairs went down to the
basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
_____________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
_____________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a
beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
_____________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning
pursuant to a deposition notice that I sent to
your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_____________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead
people.
_____________________________________
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What
school did you go to?
A: Oral.
_____________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the
body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
why I was doing an autopsy.
_____________________________________
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
_____________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was
alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in
a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive
nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and practicing law somewhere.
___________________________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
_____________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at moment of the
impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_____________________________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your
memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of
something you've forgotten?
______________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember
which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said
to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
_____________________________________
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
_____________________________________
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
____________________________________
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to
school for it.
_____________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
______________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old
is he?
_____________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was
taken?
_____________________________________
Q: So the date of conception of (the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
_____________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
_____________________________________
Q: You say the stairs went down to the
basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
_____________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
_____________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a
beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
_____________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning
pursuant to a deposition notice that I sent to
your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_____________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead
people.
_____________________________________
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What
school did you go to?
A: Oral.
_____________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the
body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
why I was doing an autopsy.
_____________________________________
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
_____________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was
alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in
a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive
nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and practicing law somewhere.
www.mulletsgalore.com The only mullet website that matters! It has mullet of the week, and loads more!
No monkeys were hurt in the making of this post.
MOW
No monkeys were hurt in the making of this post.
MOW
Hey, mulletsgalore is a good site, but mulletjunky is better. I found this disgusting pic of a massively obese guy with a mullet wearing only tiger skin underwear. Ewwwwww.
Very, very good. I'll have to post the 'Top 10 stupidest things Americans sue for' later :D
Hilarious!! Strange how some people can say such stupid things, and the Doctor in the last one should be a comedian!! :D
Lol. Keep them coming!
:-D
:-D
Top stuff. This must continue!
That is classic. People taking things far too literally. Excellent. I'm pretty good at that. Really irritates people.
These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court." These are things people ACTUALLY said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
___________________________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
_____________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at moment of the
impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_____________________________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your
memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of
something you've forgotten?
______________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember
which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said
to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
_____________________________________
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
_____________________________________
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
____________________________________
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to
school for it.
_____________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
______________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old
is he?
_____________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was
taken?
_____________________________________
Q: So the date of conception of (the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
_____________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
_____________________________________
Q: You say the stairs went down to the
basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
_____________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
_____________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a
beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
_____________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning
pursuant to a deposition notice that I sent to
your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_____________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead
people.
_____________________________________
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What
school did you go to?
A: Oral.
_____________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the
body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
why I was doing an autopsy.
_____________________________________
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
_____________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was
alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in
a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive
nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and practicing law somewhere.
___________________________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
_____________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at moment of the
impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_____________________________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your
memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of
something you've forgotten?
______________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember
which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said
to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
_____________________________________
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
_____________________________________
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
____________________________________
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to
school for it.
_____________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
______________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old
is he?
_____________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was
taken?
_____________________________________
Q: So the date of conception of (the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
_____________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
_____________________________________
Q: You say the stairs went down to the
basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
_____________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
_____________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a
beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
_____________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning
pursuant to a deposition notice that I sent to
your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_____________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead
people.
_____________________________________
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What
school did you go to?
A: Oral.
_____________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the
body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
why I was doing an autopsy.
_____________________________________
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
_____________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was
alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in
a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive
nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and practicing law somewhere.