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The scenario: SR towers have been raided by angry GAME staff who have run amuck with their pricing guns trying to mark SR’s prices up by 60%. Their evil hackers have broken into the SR mainframe and are changing the website from ‘Special Reserve Discount Network’ to ‘Especially Reserved High Prices’ so that GAME can once again compete in the video game retail market.
As the gamer, you take control of one of 3 characters…
Tony: As wise old Tony you will be armed with a keyboard and an optical mouse to clobber the manic GAME staff with. Tony’s objective is to batter the staff and retains SR’s low prices. Been the charismatic hero, Tony will make sarcastic remarks to the GAME staff before beating them to a pulp, much as he does in the forums. Tony’s mission doesn’t stop there though. In the midst of the break-in Schroeder was kidnapped by the GAME staff and it is Tony’s duty to rescue her. Tony also has a handy laptop in which to keep in touch with the other staffies and play unreal tournament online with. Tony’s game path will see him maul many purple-shirted GAME staff and rescue Schroeder only to be slapped for trying to ‘get off’ with her. After this everything returns to normal in the SR office and life carries on as before.
BEARDS: Selecting BEARDS will throw you into the dark, dismal world as BEARDS himself sees it. You will experience a power cut at the start of the game and be forced to wander around in near-darkness with tense music playing in the background tearing your nerves to shreds. You will be armed with an assault staple gun (taken from the stationery cupboard) and a razor sharp letter opener. BEARDS will tiptoe around the darkened office and GAME staff will burst through doors or jump out from behind PC monitors. You will have to stab them in the neck/head/groin with you letter opener or pump them full of staples. If you don’t kill them properly they will come back to life as purple-heads (No, not crimson heads) and will be faster and mark prices up with more ferocity.
You will stray deeper and deeper into the evil heart of SR towers until you reach the GAME den, where they are rallying previously banned posters to turn against Special Reserve and shop at GAME. As BEARDS you must put a stop to this and kill the evil genius behind it all, Bill Gates! You will need to steal his glasses so you can shove him around without him seeing where you are. You also have the added options of ‘pull funny face’ and ‘make abusive Microsoft related comment’ at your disposal.
After defeating evil Mr Gates life will return to normal for the rest of Special Reserve, but BEARDS will spend the rest of his life in an asylum jabbering about the ‘evil men in puple shirts’. GAME go bankrupt and SR open club shops in places people have actually heard of.
Mr Snuggly: Playing as Snuggly will draw you into the world of the man who has possibly the most bizarre internet name ever. You will have a number of objectives to fulfill and the entire game will be played as a platformer (i.e. leaping from desk to desk hyped up on coffee) You will need to update the GAD list despite the distractions from screaming GAME staff, annoyed at Special Reserves generosity at giving free games out. As Snuggly you will also need to change all of the prices back on the SR website and leave threatening messages on GAME’s guestbook. Mr Snuggly comes equipped with a floppy disc for those important back-up files and his dinner money (which can be used to bribe GAME’s minimum wage staff). As the front man, Snuggly will put almost everything aside to defend Special Reserve and he proves his loyalty by ending the game with a spectacular shootout in the Basildon superstore with Anne Robinson (God knows why!). Mr Snuggly then returns to normal, fixes the photocopier that has been playing up and then drives home in the silver sports car that is parked outside.
As well as the single played missions there will be a multiplayer ‘covert’ mode in which up to 3 players can attack the GAME staff, rainbow six style. This can take place in a number of locations, the Basildon Superstore, the EA head office, the GAME store in Edinburgh and on top of the statue of liberty. The multiplayer can be played online against human competitors or on a console again friends or computer controlled bots.
What sort of game would this be without mini-games? Well it would probably be like a Dreamcast game but less of that.
SR Chair Race: The alleged competition that occurs before Christmas each year in the Special Reserve office can be re-enacted time and time again in this Mario Kart style mini game. You can take control of Tony in the stylish leather chair, Mr Snuggly in a run-of-the-mill office chair, Schroeder in her pink, heart shaped comfort chair or BEARDS in an old armchair he found in a skip. Power-ups can be picked up from desks and used to your advantage. Paperclips can be scattered in front of opponents to slow them down, hot coffee can be thrown over other racer to scald them and make them veer to the side, ink cartridges can be lobbed at opponents heads to make them lose control of their chair and the computer mouse that can be used as a lasso to hook other racers wheels.
SR wrestling: Staffies can beat the living daylights out of each other in the office with no holds barred rules. Each staffie will have their own signature move. Tony will have the Tony-driver, Schroeder will have the Schroeder slammer, Mr Snuggly will have the User Banned dropkick and BEARDS will have the almighty sarcastic taunt. The wrestlers can punch, kick, throw each other through desks, beat each other with Epson 640’s and hurl CD’s at each other. The game modes include, last staffie standing, staffie cage match, and office championship matches.
World’s Strongest Staffie: This world’s strongest man based game will see just who is the tough guy off the office. Contenders will lift monitors, drag the photocopier 100 meters and test their endurance in the ‘pit of paper cuts’. The strongest staffie is the won to win the most contests, which also include – The GAD lift, the arm wrestling extravaganza and the dinner queue sprint. The winner of the contest will get to wear one of those paper crowns you get in Christmas crackers for a whole day, oh yes.
Special Reserve: The Game is due for release, never! It is merely an idea that will live in the back of my mind until I die or get amnesia. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading it. Until next time…
-kyz˛˛-
As the gamer, you take control of one of 3 characters…
Tony: As wise old Tony you will be armed with a keyboard and an optical mouse to clobber the manic GAME staff with. Tony’s objective is to batter the staff and retains SR’s low prices. Been the charismatic hero, Tony will make sarcastic remarks to the GAME staff before beating them to a pulp, much as he does in the forums. Tony’s mission doesn’t stop there though. In the midst of the break-in Schroeder was kidnapped by the GAME staff and it is Tony’s duty to rescue her. Tony also has a handy laptop in which to keep in touch with the other staffies and play unreal tournament online with. Tony’s game path will see him maul many purple-shirted GAME staff and rescue Schroeder only to be slapped for trying to ‘get off’ with her. After this everything returns to normal in the SR office and life carries on as before.
BEARDS: Selecting BEARDS will throw you into the dark, dismal world as BEARDS himself sees it. You will experience a power cut at the start of the game and be forced to wander around in near-darkness with tense music playing in the background tearing your nerves to shreds. You will be armed with an assault staple gun (taken from the stationery cupboard) and a razor sharp letter opener. BEARDS will tiptoe around the darkened office and GAME staff will burst through doors or jump out from behind PC monitors. You will have to stab them in the neck/head/groin with you letter opener or pump them full of staples. If you don’t kill them properly they will come back to life as purple-heads (No, not crimson heads) and will be faster and mark prices up with more ferocity.
You will stray deeper and deeper into the evil heart of SR towers until you reach the GAME den, where they are rallying previously banned posters to turn against Special Reserve and shop at GAME. As BEARDS you must put a stop to this and kill the evil genius behind it all, Bill Gates! You will need to steal his glasses so you can shove him around without him seeing where you are. You also have the added options of ‘pull funny face’ and ‘make abusive Microsoft related comment’ at your disposal.
After defeating evil Mr Gates life will return to normal for the rest of Special Reserve, but BEARDS will spend the rest of his life in an asylum jabbering about the ‘evil men in puple shirts’. GAME go bankrupt and SR open club shops in places people have actually heard of.
Mr Snuggly: Playing as Snuggly will draw you into the world of the man who has possibly the most bizarre internet name ever. You will have a number of objectives to fulfill and the entire game will be played as a platformer (i.e. leaping from desk to desk hyped up on coffee) You will need to update the GAD list despite the distractions from screaming GAME staff, annoyed at Special Reserves generosity at giving free games out. As Snuggly you will also need to change all of the prices back on the SR website and leave threatening messages on GAME’s guestbook. Mr Snuggly comes equipped with a floppy disc for those important back-up files and his dinner money (which can be used to bribe GAME’s minimum wage staff). As the front man, Snuggly will put almost everything aside to defend Special Reserve and he proves his loyalty by ending the game with a spectacular shootout in the Basildon superstore with Anne Robinson (God knows why!). Mr Snuggly then returns to normal, fixes the photocopier that has been playing up and then drives home in the silver sports car that is parked outside.
As well as the single played missions there will be a multiplayer ‘covert’ mode in which up to 3 players can attack the GAME staff, rainbow six style. This can take place in a number of locations, the Basildon Superstore, the EA head office, the GAME store in Edinburgh and on top of the statue of liberty. The multiplayer can be played online against human competitors or on a console again friends or computer controlled bots.
What sort of game would this be without mini-games? Well it would probably be like a Dreamcast game but less of that.
SR Chair Race: The alleged competition that occurs before Christmas each year in the Special Reserve office can be re-enacted time and time again in this Mario Kart style mini game. You can take control of Tony in the stylish leather chair, Mr Snuggly in a run-of-the-mill office chair, Schroeder in her pink, heart shaped comfort chair or BEARDS in an old armchair he found in a skip. Power-ups can be picked up from desks and used to your advantage. Paperclips can be scattered in front of opponents to slow them down, hot coffee can be thrown over other racer to scald them and make them veer to the side, ink cartridges can be lobbed at opponents heads to make them lose control of their chair and the computer mouse that can be used as a lasso to hook other racers wheels.
SR wrestling: Staffies can beat the living daylights out of each other in the office with no holds barred rules. Each staffie will have their own signature move. Tony will have the Tony-driver, Schroeder will have the Schroeder slammer, Mr Snuggly will have the User Banned dropkick and BEARDS will have the almighty sarcastic taunt. The wrestlers can punch, kick, throw each other through desks, beat each other with Epson 640’s and hurl CD’s at each other. The game modes include, last staffie standing, staffie cage match, and office championship matches.
World’s Strongest Staffie: This world’s strongest man based game will see just who is the tough guy off the office. Contenders will lift monitors, drag the photocopier 100 meters and test their endurance in the ‘pit of paper cuts’. The strongest staffie is the won to win the most contests, which also include – The GAD lift, the arm wrestling extravaganza and the dinner queue sprint. The winner of the contest will get to wear one of those paper crowns you get in Christmas crackers for a whole day, oh yes.
Special Reserve: The Game is due for release, never! It is merely an idea that will live in the back of my mind until I die or get amnesia. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading it. Until next time…
-kyz˛˛-
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Cheers mate :-)
*pulls party popper*
*pulls party popper*
Happy birthday anyway Kyz!
Not as many people read this as I hoped *sulks*
Took me ages too *sulks more*
and its my birthday *sulks even more*
Took me ages too *sulks more*
and its my birthday *sulks even more*
gerrid wrote:
> Would this game be made by EA?
I guess no one got my subtle reference.
> Would this game be made by EA?
I guess no one got my subtle reference.
Kyz22 wrote:
> Yeah I read EB's post after this
You replied to it 2 days ago, though. BUSTED!
> Yeah I read EB's post after this
You replied to it 2 days ago, though. BUSTED!
Don't worry about it, look at my Gb Asp post! :D
Yeah I read EB's post after this, but his WAS about EA and there are different ideas. This was probably badly timed though.
Nice post Kyz, though El Blokey did a similar post not too long ago.
:)
:)
:-) I think it would be multiformat, except for Xbox...
sounds like a game i would like. what console would it be for GC? lets hope it becomes that popular.
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