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Hey there kids, you feeling obese? Unhealthy? Are people calling you offensive names such as "Fatty-Fred" and "Ten-Tonne-Tessa"? Is that flab holding you down? Well, Look no further people, we have the answer! Many sufferers have tried going on ordinary diets that don't make a difference, or the "99p Burger" offer was just too tempting for some. To sort out these forever re-occurring problems, us very slim & sexy people at Gfreak Industries have come up with an amazing idea
We've produced a simple and effective solution - The "Gaming diet" Yes, You heard us; you can slim down and enjoy yourselves at the same time. No need for complicated surgery, just follow this simple plan and get rid of those nagging ripples in just a few weeks! Terms and conditions apply.
Firstly, Gaming, as we all know it has been separated, torn apart and transformed into total warfare between 3 companies - Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony. You choose what plan you want to take; It’s entirely up to you (its a good idea to actually own the console mind...)
This week, we have mostly been focusing on the Xbox owners of this tragic console war.
Name: Slim X Fast
Equipment Required: Xbox console, Normal Sized Xbox Controller, Chewing gum, Coffee, Kettle, Apples and Bananas, Teddy Bear
Games: Halo
Special Requirements: Drink vast amounts of coffee, Prepare to leave loved ones for a while.
This plan was devised specifically for the obese Xbox lovers out there. Now, You want to lose weight right? Well you'll have to make a few sacrifices I’m afraid. Firstly setup your Xbox console in a private space away from any distractions - thus enhancing your Fung Sha (A new Chinese enlightenment..) Place all your equipment nearby in easy to reach places and start chewing gum.
This might seem irrelevant at the time, but you'll understand later. Chew each piece for 2 mins and stick them to the edges of your door. Repeat until the whole doorframe area has been filled. Close, Thus allowing it to be sealed.
Now, You see, you are completely isolated from the outside world! How cool is that? Now you can begin your diet. Here, We have planned out what to do at what times: -
10:00pm Day 1 - Sit down and insert Halo into the Xbox disc drive. Begin playing the game on legendary mode, and don't stop until you complete it.
Pros - Excessive use of the Xbox pad will work the muscles in your hand and maybe tone your biceps. Due to lack of food, your bodyweight will decrease drastically, depending on how long it takes you to complete the game
Cons - Tiredness and the need for a toilet stop. These can be rectified by drinking coffee and doing your business in a nearby plant pot - They need watering and food? You provide!
Well, How do you feel now? Look at yourself; You've played an excellent game and lost incredible amounts of weight in just a short period of time. How does that make you feel? GOOD, Chant that kiddos!
10:00am Day 5 - Its been a while since contact with anyone, So to stop any emotional distress, bring out old your old teddy bear and give him a hug. That feel any better? It sure does! Now with that out the way, lets continue with the process of dieting, firstly with a nice long hibernation process.
Repeat this process for each game.
All that weight you have lost is all thanks to us, and it works! Here’s our very own guinea pig Mickey.
GFI: "Yo Mickey! urgh! Y..Yo..You look so erm, Skinny and sexy"
Mickey: "Bubfufdhafkhlsfjoifgiiidasjfuhgadf"
GFI: "See, He’s so happy with his new found change he cannot even say the words!"
And the great thing is, this plan is FREE! Yes you heard us F-R-E-E! How does that sound kids? Good! Yes kiddies Good, Good, Good stuff!
Now. Here’s the small print that no one ever actually reads.
Gfreak Industries doesn’t take any responsibilities for any injuries/illnesses sustained during this dieting plan; we feel you shouldn’t actually be doing this at all. Heck, Monkeys, Who are constipated, own This Company.
We've produced a simple and effective solution - The "Gaming diet" Yes, You heard us; you can slim down and enjoy yourselves at the same time. No need for complicated surgery, just follow this simple plan and get rid of those nagging ripples in just a few weeks! Terms and conditions apply.
Firstly, Gaming, as we all know it has been separated, torn apart and transformed into total warfare between 3 companies - Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony. You choose what plan you want to take; It’s entirely up to you (its a good idea to actually own the console mind...)
This week, we have mostly been focusing on the Xbox owners of this tragic console war.
Name: Slim X Fast
Equipment Required: Xbox console, Normal Sized Xbox Controller, Chewing gum, Coffee, Kettle, Apples and Bananas, Teddy Bear
Games: Halo
Special Requirements: Drink vast amounts of coffee, Prepare to leave loved ones for a while.
This plan was devised specifically for the obese Xbox lovers out there. Now, You want to lose weight right? Well you'll have to make a few sacrifices I’m afraid. Firstly setup your Xbox console in a private space away from any distractions - thus enhancing your Fung Sha (A new Chinese enlightenment..) Place all your equipment nearby in easy to reach places and start chewing gum.
This might seem irrelevant at the time, but you'll understand later. Chew each piece for 2 mins and stick them to the edges of your door. Repeat until the whole doorframe area has been filled. Close, Thus allowing it to be sealed.
Now, You see, you are completely isolated from the outside world! How cool is that? Now you can begin your diet. Here, We have planned out what to do at what times: -
10:00pm Day 1 - Sit down and insert Halo into the Xbox disc drive. Begin playing the game on legendary mode, and don't stop until you complete it.
Pros - Excessive use of the Xbox pad will work the muscles in your hand and maybe tone your biceps. Due to lack of food, your bodyweight will decrease drastically, depending on how long it takes you to complete the game
Cons - Tiredness and the need for a toilet stop. These can be rectified by drinking coffee and doing your business in a nearby plant pot - They need watering and food? You provide!
Well, How do you feel now? Look at yourself; You've played an excellent game and lost incredible amounts of weight in just a short period of time. How does that make you feel? GOOD, Chant that kiddos!
10:00am Day 5 - Its been a while since contact with anyone, So to stop any emotional distress, bring out old your old teddy bear and give him a hug. That feel any better? It sure does! Now with that out the way, lets continue with the process of dieting, firstly with a nice long hibernation process.
Repeat this process for each game.
All that weight you have lost is all thanks to us, and it works! Here’s our very own guinea pig Mickey.
GFI: "Yo Mickey! urgh! Y..Yo..You look so erm, Skinny and sexy"
Mickey: "Bubfufdhafkhlsfjoifgiiidasjfuhgadf"
GFI: "See, He’s so happy with his new found change he cannot even say the words!"
And the great thing is, this plan is FREE! Yes you heard us F-R-E-E! How does that sound kids? Good! Yes kiddies Good, Good, Good stuff!
Now. Here’s the small print that no one ever actually reads.
Gfreak Industries doesn’t take any responsibilities for any injuries/illnesses sustained during this dieting plan; we feel you shouldn’t actually be doing this at all. Heck, Monkeys, Who are constipated, own This Company.
Personally, I prefer to do weight training with an Xbox in either hand. 50 curls a day and the pounds just fly off.
Amusing :)
Funny thing is, I often play games in marathon sessions.
-Looks in mirror and sees a gaunt skeleton-
Maybe I should get out more.
Funny thing is, I often play games in marathon sessions.
-Looks in mirror and sees a gaunt skeleton-
Maybe I should get out more.
Hey there kids, you feeling obese? Unhealthy? Are people calling you offensive names such as "Fatty-Fred" and "Ten-Tonne-Tessa"? Is that flab holding you down? Well, Look no further people, we have the answer! Many sufferers have tried going on ordinary diets that don't make a difference, or the "99p Burger" offer was just too tempting for some. To sort out these forever re-occurring problems, us very slim & sexy people at Gfreak Industries have come up with an amazing idea
We've produced a simple and effective solution - The "Gaming diet" Yes, You heard us; you can slim down and enjoy yourselves at the same time. No need for complicated surgery, just follow this simple plan and get rid of those nagging ripples in just a few weeks! Terms and conditions apply.
Firstly, Gaming, as we all know it has been separated, torn apart and transformed into total warfare between 3 companies - Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony. You choose what plan you want to take; It’s entirely up to you (its a good idea to actually own the console mind...)
This week, we have mostly been focusing on the Xbox owners of this tragic console war.
Name: Slim X Fast
Equipment Required: Xbox console, Normal Sized Xbox Controller, Chewing gum, Coffee, Kettle, Apples and Bananas, Teddy Bear
Games: Halo
Special Requirements: Drink vast amounts of coffee, Prepare to leave loved ones for a while.
This plan was devised specifically for the obese Xbox lovers out there. Now, You want to lose weight right? Well you'll have to make a few sacrifices I’m afraid. Firstly setup your Xbox console in a private space away from any distractions - thus enhancing your Fung Sha (A new Chinese enlightenment..) Place all your equipment nearby in easy to reach places and start chewing gum.
This might seem irrelevant at the time, but you'll understand later. Chew each piece for 2 mins and stick them to the edges of your door. Repeat until the whole doorframe area has been filled. Close, Thus allowing it to be sealed.
Now, You see, you are completely isolated from the outside world! How cool is that? Now you can begin your diet. Here, We have planned out what to do at what times: -
10:00pm Day 1 - Sit down and insert Halo into the Xbox disc drive. Begin playing the game on legendary mode, and don't stop until you complete it.
Pros - Excessive use of the Xbox pad will work the muscles in your hand and maybe tone your biceps. Due to lack of food, your bodyweight will decrease drastically, depending on how long it takes you to complete the game
Cons - Tiredness and the need for a toilet stop. These can be rectified by drinking coffee and doing your business in a nearby plant pot - They need watering and food? You provide!
Well, How do you feel now? Look at yourself; You've played an excellent game and lost incredible amounts of weight in just a short period of time. How does that make you feel? GOOD, Chant that kiddos!
10:00am Day 5 - Its been a while since contact with anyone, So to stop any emotional distress, bring out old your old teddy bear and give him a hug. That feel any better? It sure does! Now with that out the way, lets continue with the process of dieting, firstly with a nice long hibernation process.
Repeat this process for each game.
All that weight you have lost is all thanks to us, and it works! Here’s our very own guinea pig Mickey.
GFI: "Yo Mickey! urgh! Y..Yo..You look so erm, Skinny and sexy"
Mickey: "Bubfufdhafkhlsfjoifgiiidasjfuhgadf"
GFI: "See, He’s so happy with his new found change he cannot even say the words!"
And the great thing is, this plan is FREE! Yes you heard us F-R-E-E! How does that sound kids? Good! Yes kiddies Good, Good, Good stuff!
Now. Here’s the small print that no one ever actually reads.
Gfreak Industries doesn’t take any responsibilities for any injuries/illnesses sustained during this dieting plan; we feel you shouldn’t actually be doing this at all. Heck, Monkeys, Who are constipated, own This Company.
We've produced a simple and effective solution - The "Gaming diet" Yes, You heard us; you can slim down and enjoy yourselves at the same time. No need for complicated surgery, just follow this simple plan and get rid of those nagging ripples in just a few weeks! Terms and conditions apply.
Firstly, Gaming, as we all know it has been separated, torn apart and transformed into total warfare between 3 companies - Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony. You choose what plan you want to take; It’s entirely up to you (its a good idea to actually own the console mind...)
This week, we have mostly been focusing on the Xbox owners of this tragic console war.
Name: Slim X Fast
Equipment Required: Xbox console, Normal Sized Xbox Controller, Chewing gum, Coffee, Kettle, Apples and Bananas, Teddy Bear
Games: Halo
Special Requirements: Drink vast amounts of coffee, Prepare to leave loved ones for a while.
This plan was devised specifically for the obese Xbox lovers out there. Now, You want to lose weight right? Well you'll have to make a few sacrifices I’m afraid. Firstly setup your Xbox console in a private space away from any distractions - thus enhancing your Fung Sha (A new Chinese enlightenment..) Place all your equipment nearby in easy to reach places and start chewing gum.
This might seem irrelevant at the time, but you'll understand later. Chew each piece for 2 mins and stick them to the edges of your door. Repeat until the whole doorframe area has been filled. Close, Thus allowing it to be sealed.
Now, You see, you are completely isolated from the outside world! How cool is that? Now you can begin your diet. Here, We have planned out what to do at what times: -
10:00pm Day 1 - Sit down and insert Halo into the Xbox disc drive. Begin playing the game on legendary mode, and don't stop until you complete it.
Pros - Excessive use of the Xbox pad will work the muscles in your hand and maybe tone your biceps. Due to lack of food, your bodyweight will decrease drastically, depending on how long it takes you to complete the game
Cons - Tiredness and the need for a toilet stop. These can be rectified by drinking coffee and doing your business in a nearby plant pot - They need watering and food? You provide!
Well, How do you feel now? Look at yourself; You've played an excellent game and lost incredible amounts of weight in just a short period of time. How does that make you feel? GOOD, Chant that kiddos!
10:00am Day 5 - Its been a while since contact with anyone, So to stop any emotional distress, bring out old your old teddy bear and give him a hug. That feel any better? It sure does! Now with that out the way, lets continue with the process of dieting, firstly with a nice long hibernation process.
Repeat this process for each game.
All that weight you have lost is all thanks to us, and it works! Here’s our very own guinea pig Mickey.
GFI: "Yo Mickey! urgh! Y..Yo..You look so erm, Skinny and sexy"
Mickey: "Bubfufdhafkhlsfjoifgiiidasjfuhgadf"
GFI: "See, He’s so happy with his new found change he cannot even say the words!"
And the great thing is, this plan is FREE! Yes you heard us F-R-E-E! How does that sound kids? Good! Yes kiddies Good, Good, Good stuff!
Now. Here’s the small print that no one ever actually reads.
Gfreak Industries doesn’t take any responsibilities for any injuries/illnesses sustained during this dieting plan; we feel you shouldn’t actually be doing this at all. Heck, Monkeys, Who are constipated, own This Company.