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"The ED Show:The Talk Show With Style"

Expletive Deleted(a.k.a. ED)= Hello, and welcome to The ED Show. We have many special guests today so lets start introducing them:
Azul the zookeeper
Banjo the bear
Mario the plumber
Luigi the plumber
Rosiland

ED= Okay, lets get started. Are first issue today is one dealing with a bear that has been reeking havoc all over the world!

Banjo= But ED I just be a nice country bear that likes playing ma banjo.

Azul= LIES!

Banjo= I not be a killer bear!

Azul= Don’t believe this criminal! Lets all BOO him!!



Banjo= Not only did yall come to ma house and put me in a cage but yall interrupted my mid morning nap. That’s just not right.

“Banjo opens his mouth wide and yawns”

Azul= Look he is opening his mouth. He’s getting ready to strike! Everyone run for your lives!



Banjo= I am no killer! I have neva hurt anyone in anyway!

ED= Are you saying their has been another bear roaming around killing the innocent.

Banjo= Can I have some honey?

ED= Anytime big boy.

“ED winks shyly at Banjo”

Banjo= I mean actual honey!

ED= Have it your way then! Give this man some honey!

Azul= Don’t give it to him! He will throw it at someone!

ED= Sorry Azul but that really wouldn’t be so much of a tragedy.

Azul= But if he does they will get……… sticky fingers!!

ED= Oh my! Your right! Cancel order for honey!

Banjo= I told ya I BE NO KILLER!!!!

“Banjo gets up and starts running around in circles while waving his arms and destroying anything in his way”

Azul= I told you he was a killer!

Banjo= NOT A KILLER! NO NO NO!

“Banjo runs backstage while still waving his arms”

Azul= You killed my mother’s father’s brother’s half cousin’s veterinarian! AND YOU WILL PAY!

“Azul chases Banjo backstage with a big stick”

ED= I don’t get paid enough for this. Now lets move to our next pressing issue. Mario is a great gaming sensation that has been with us for years. He is a hero. He is awesome. He is brave. He is powerful. He is……. FAT. That’s right, lets face the facts. Mario has been obese all his life and now his older brother Luigi has called The ED Show for some help.

Luigi= All he does at home is eat. It’s disgusting really. Can’t he be bulk and strong like me.

“Luigi takes of his shirt and exposes his large pecs and bulging muscles”



Luigi=Yea that’s right ladies, I’m single.

ED= Luigi do you think you feel this way about your brother because he is so much more popular than you?

Luigi= What! Did you not just hear the crowd. They love me.

“An audience girl stands up and begins to speak”

Random Audience Member= I have no idea who you are………. But your HOTT. WOOOOOH!!



Luigi= I’m Luigi! The best plumber on the universe!

ED= Mario what do you have to say bout your obesity?

Mario= Chocolate?

ED= Excuse me.

Mario= Chocolate. Do you have any! I smell it on you! Chocolate. Oh yea, Chocolate! Chocolate.

ED= Mario#2 what is he talking about?

Luigi= LUIGI! MY NAME IS LUIGI!!!

ED= Who?

Mario= CHOCOLATE!

“Mario jumps on ED, takes out a chocolate bar which was in his shirt pocket and chews on it like a little happy squirrel”

Mario= Oh yea chocolate. Chocolate. Oh how I love you. Chocolate.

ED= You obviously got to this weight problem due to your chocolate frenzy. How did you come to this choco-fanatic ways.

Mario= When I was a boy I remember looking at a store that had a sign in front of it. It read “WOMEN’S CLOTHS 50% OFF”. I ran in as fast as I could but all the women there were fully cloths, not 50%. But the first thing my eyes did lay eyes upon was a big delicious chocolate bar that called out to me. I bought it. And I’ve been hooked since……..Chocolate.

ED= Have you tried healthy dieting?

Mario= HEALTH! AHHHHHHH!! I HATE that word!!

“Mario takes out a gun and shoots himself in the in the both ears”

ED= Well that was random.

Mario= I’m losing too much blood! I’m…..dieing….

“Mario falls on the floor”

Luigi= YAY! I’m the only plumber left!

Mario= I’m still not dead.

“Luigi takes out a gun and shoots Mario in the head”

Luigi= YAY! Now I am…

Mario= Nope still not dead.

“Luigi shoots unstoppably at Mario’s head”

Mario= Nope still alive……. No wait, now I’m dead.

Luigi= FINALLY!

Mario= Hey Luigi can you tell Peach I love her?

Luigi= AHHHHHHH!

ED= Well now I’m getting bored so lets move onto the next issue. Lara Croft is truly one of the most beautiful women alive. So it’s not unusual for her to be in a weird love triangle. Rosiland has loved her best friend Memorandum for years but she has never had the courage to ever tell him. But a few weeks ago Lara Croft came to their town and Memorandum started to fall for her and Lara fell for him back. Today Rosiland wants to tell Memorandum her feelings for him.

Rosiland= You got it ED!

ED= Without further ado lets bring Memorandum out!



ED= Memo, do you know why we brought you here today?

Memorandum(a.k.a. Memo)= Does it have to do with the letter “Z”!!!!

ED= Um…no. This has to deal with Lara Croft.

Memo= Oh yes, her. I’m in love with her. Have you ever loved someone so badly that you were afraid to blurt out something stupid in front of them.

Rosiland= I have a rash on my back!!!

Memo= Um…. good for you Rosiland. Back to the topic, I figured out something today backstage. I want to spend my whole life with one person.

Rosiland= I want you!

Memo= You want me to what?

Rosiland=…..

Memo= Forgot what you were going to say. Happens to me all the time, don’t worry.

ED= Well today Memo we have a surprise for you. Lara come on out!

Rosiland= WHY IS SHE HERE!!!



Luigi= Lara? Hey Lara, what’s up?

Lara= Who are you?

Luigi= Luigi. I had you for class last year in school.

Lara=?

Luigi= I give you one of my kidneys when you needed surgery.

Lara=….

Luigi= I was your foster brother for 7 years until you told our parents you were too good for me and I would ruin your reputation at school so you had me transferred to another foster home where I met Mario.

Lara= Oh! Hi Lenny.

Luigi= LUIGI!!!

Lara= Whatever. So Memo….how are YOU doing?

Memo= I’m great sugar dumpling.

Lara= That’s awesome booger bear.

Memo= Lovely cheeks

Lara= Pretty Pie.

Memo= Teddy bear.

Lara= Rare Asian Panda.

Memo= Micheal Jackson nose.

Lara= Delicious American dish.

Memo= Lover Dove.

Rosiland= I can’t stand this anymore!

“Rosiland smacks Lara across the face with a brick”

Lara= No one touches Lara Croft’s face!!!

“Lara and Rosiland get into a huge cat fight with pulling hair and screeching”

Memo= Girls can’t we just work this out!?



ED= Well that noise tells me that this is the end of my show.

“Banjo runs out of backstage with Azul still behind him”

Banjo= NO NO NO NO!!!

Azul= That veterinarian saved my daughter!!

Rosiland= Memo is mine!!

Mario= Can someone scratch my nose.

Luigi= AHHHH!

ED= Good night folks.




THE END

Drunk

POP

LOL, funny spoof (again) Drunk Cow.

I was Tphi but he was in disguise.:-o

oh btw.....POP!

Tphi wrote:
> Another very funny spoof. I would like to announce to the world that I
> am the mystery "random audience member". I am here to pick
> up an OSCAR for my part. I wanna thank my mum, and my dad....

Actually the random audience member wasa girl... proof:

“An audience girl stands up and begins to speak”

Great spoof Drunky. Made me laugh more than once too. Deserves GAD definately!

Another very funny spoof. I would like to announce to the world that I am the mystery "random audience member". I am here to pick up an OSCAR for my part. I wanna thank my mum, and my dad....

Thanks for the replies you lot.

Kyz22 wrote:
> ED is Eternal Darkness, therefore crap. But the spoof itself was good.
> :-) As always

Eternal Darkness wasn't crap, are you some sort of Sony fanboy who hasn't even played it or seen it?

ED is Eternal Darkness, therefore crap. But the spoof itself was good. :-) As always

Lies!
Why won't you believe me!?
He is a killer! A killer I tell you!!!
*ahem*
Got a bit too involved there....
Nice n short DC, good stuff.