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A old gentleman stands atop a hill with his youngest son, the sun is setting and the man takes a toke on his pipe and begins to talk to the youngster:
"You see all those houses over there son? I built those, every one of 'em. Do they call me Jack the house builder? Do they hell!"
A moment goes by and the gent attracts his sons attention to something in the distance.
"Over there son, just on the horizen - can you see that bridge? I built that. On my own, I lade every foundation placed every peice of that construction with these two hands. Do they call me Jack the bridge builder? Not a word of it!"
The man turns away from the view and begins to set off down the hill.
"You shag one sheep..."
"You see all those houses over there son? I built those, every one of 'em. Do they call me Jack the house builder? Do they hell!"
A moment goes by and the gent attracts his sons attention to something in the distance.
"Over there son, just on the horizen - can you see that bridge? I built that. On my own, I lade every foundation placed every peice of that construction with these two hands. Do they call me Jack the bridge builder? Not a word of it!"
The man turns away from the view and begins to set off down the hill.
"You shag one sheep..."
A missionary gets sent into deepest darkest Africa and goes to live with a tribe. He spends years with the people, teaching them to read, to write, and the good Christian ways of the white man. One thing he particularly stresses is the evils of sexual sin: Thou must not commit adultery or fornication!
One day, the wife of one of the Tribe's noblemen gives birth to a white child. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his people to talk with the missionary.
"You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black woman gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man that has ever set foot in our village. It doesn't take a genius to work out what has been going on!" the chief says.
The missionary replies, "No, no, my good man. You are mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence-what is called an albino. Look to thy yonder field. See a field of white sheep, and yet amongst them is one black one. Nature does this on occasion."
The chief pauses for a moment then says "Tell you what, you don't say anything about the sheep, and I won't say anything about the white child."
One day, the wife of one of the Tribe's noblemen gives birth to a white child. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his people to talk with the missionary.
"You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black woman gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man that has ever set foot in our village. It doesn't take a genius to work out what has been going on!" the chief says.
The missionary replies, "No, no, my good man. You are mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence-what is called an albino. Look to thy yonder field. See a field of white sheep, and yet amongst them is one black one. Nature does this on occasion."
The chief pauses for a moment then says "Tell you what, you don't say anything about the sheep, and I won't say anything about the white child."
My favourite joke currently is:
How do you turn a duck into a jazz singer?
Put it in the microwave until it's bill withers.
Da da... what you've not heard of Bill Withers.. oh well..
:-)
How do you turn a duck into a jazz singer?
Put it in the microwave until it's bill withers.
Da da... what you've not heard of Bill Withers.. oh well..
:-)
Sorry, forgot about it.
Am logged in now though.
Am logged in now though.
Lol, like that.
I'll remember it for next time I'm down the pub.
I'll remember it for next time I'm down the pub.
A old gentleman stands atop a hill with his youngest son, the sun is setting and the man takes a toke on his pipe and begins to talk to the youngster:
"You see all those houses over there son? I built those, every one of 'em. Do they call me Jack the house builder? Do they hell!"
A moment goes by and the gent attracts his sons attention to something in the distance.
"Over there son, just on the horizen - can you see that bridge? I built that. On my own, I lade every foundation placed every peice of that construction with these two hands. Do they call me Jack the bridge builder? Not a word of it!"
The man turns away from the view and begins to set off down the hill.
"You shag one sheep..."
"You see all those houses over there son? I built those, every one of 'em. Do they call me Jack the house builder? Do they hell!"
A moment goes by and the gent attracts his sons attention to something in the distance.
"Over there son, just on the horizen - can you see that bridge? I built that. On my own, I lade every foundation placed every peice of that construction with these two hands. Do they call me Jack the bridge builder? Not a word of it!"
The man turns away from the view and begins to set off down the hill.
"You shag one sheep..."