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If you play video games, you’re ten times more likely to become an evil human being.
This is an irrefutable fact according to recent studies carried out by a church funded secret organisation.
The secret research carried out began many years ago, and has lasted right up until the present day, with a number of different tests carried out on a variety of different people from all walks of life.
A group of young 4-year old children were tested on for a period of ten years; all the children had the same education throughout, but the tests were done on their recreational activities and hobbies; half the children were taught important lessons from the Bible in their spare time, with the other half playing video games. Needless to say, after years of research and testing, the half who learnt the bible matured into healthy and respectable young adults, but the gamers had a tendency to be more evil.
Another experiment involved normal well-adjusted people who don’t play video games being shown cards with ambiguous images on, and told to say the first thing to came into their heads when they saw the images. They all found nice and gentle things hidden in the pictures. The so-called “hardcore” gamers were then shown the same cards, but instead of finding peaceful images, they naturally all came up with violent images about death, destruction and “fragging”.
Dr Wilhelm Von Frankenheffer of the Duselheim Institute of Evil Studies, who lead the research, concluded, “Ve have done many tests and gruesome experiments on ze brains of gamers using some emotion sensitive slime from Ghostbusters 2. Achtung!
Ve tested ze flow of evil energy from ze games consoles, channelling ze energy from ze games to control pad wires into the players, and ze levels were ten times above zat of films and muzik. Dunkopf!
If ze older gamers who have been playing for the last decade continue playing ze games for about two more yearz, zey vill turn into complete crazy psychopaths.
Now that my research into zis matter is concluded, I’m going to research the effectz of David Hasselhoff disco muzik on ze brain. Auf wiedersehen.”
The shocking new findings don’t come as a surprise to everyone, as Daily Mail writer Jimothy Gimpweed hollers, “We always knew them there video games was evil. I’ve written numerous articles about the violent influences and evil stranglehold these games have on our children, and now I’ve been proven correct. Ha ha, suck on that you spotty nerds!
My previous articles on the links between video games and evilness show it is a well-known fact that Saddam Hussein plays video games, and he’s evil, so therefore games must also be evil. Other famous evil gamers include George W. Bush, Bill Gates, Gary Glitter, and the guy who played Dirty Den, plus it’s also believed that Adolf Hitler was a huge advocate of board games, the precursor to video games. Even mass-murderer Harold Shipman confessed to once playing Doom around a friend’s house. Now we have the concrete evidence, it’s proof that video games make more evil people.”
He then grabbed his pitchfork and joined his fuddy-duddy Daily Mail mob on the hunt for evil gamers.
The Most Right Reverend Lou Nee, preached that video games are “definitely a source of holy blasphemy, a sacrilegious hobby and evil tool of technological terror that contain hidden satanic messages and will enslave the minds of people everywhere, turning them from ordinary citizens into violent slavering maniacs.”
He later added in one of his crazy sermons, “I once had a horrible nightmare in which the devil himself came up to me and revealed himself to be none other than Super Mario! Together with his evil army of Pokemon, Mario, or Lucifer as he prefers to be known, rules the fiery depths of hell, but is also free to infect the minds of people everywhere.”
He also signalled out Peter Molyneux for particular scathing damnation, “I was highly shocked to learn of the ‘God game genre’, believing to be religious games teaching God’s messages to gamers, in actual fact though, it’s just the player acting like a god and being cruel to his or her subjects by destroying their villages with lightning. Hardly the actions of a real god, merely someone abusing their powers and being evil.”
Countering the growing facts was self-confessed gaming über-geek Jason Read, who famously queued in a tent waiting for Turok Evolution, one of 2002’s biggest gaming disappointments (second only to The Getaway). He said, “As the best gamer in the world, I refute these foolish ideas about us being turned into evil monsters by our hobby. Take me for example, I spend hours playing games each day and frag thousands of virtual people, and I’m the most normal person I know. Instead of blaming games, why not blame rap music?”
Whether or not you believe that the rise in evil, overly violent, foul-mouthed kids who blatantly disregard the rules of decent society with wanton-abandon is all due to video games is up to you. The facts are growing, and the future is looking like it could be a lot more evil, are video games to blame? Probably, but what the heck, being evil does have its advantages…
This is an irrefutable fact according to recent studies carried out by a church funded secret organisation.
The secret research carried out began many years ago, and has lasted right up until the present day, with a number of different tests carried out on a variety of different people from all walks of life.
A group of young 4-year old children were tested on for a period of ten years; all the children had the same education throughout, but the tests were done on their recreational activities and hobbies; half the children were taught important lessons from the Bible in their spare time, with the other half playing video games. Needless to say, after years of research and testing, the half who learnt the bible matured into healthy and respectable young adults, but the gamers had a tendency to be more evil.
Another experiment involved normal well-adjusted people who don’t play video games being shown cards with ambiguous images on, and told to say the first thing to came into their heads when they saw the images. They all found nice and gentle things hidden in the pictures. The so-called “hardcore” gamers were then shown the same cards, but instead of finding peaceful images, they naturally all came up with violent images about death, destruction and “fragging”.
Dr Wilhelm Von Frankenheffer of the Duselheim Institute of Evil Studies, who lead the research, concluded, “Ve have done many tests and gruesome experiments on ze brains of gamers using some emotion sensitive slime from Ghostbusters 2. Achtung!
Ve tested ze flow of evil energy from ze games consoles, channelling ze energy from ze games to control pad wires into the players, and ze levels were ten times above zat of films and muzik. Dunkopf!
If ze older gamers who have been playing for the last decade continue playing ze games for about two more yearz, zey vill turn into complete crazy psychopaths.
Now that my research into zis matter is concluded, I’m going to research the effectz of David Hasselhoff disco muzik on ze brain. Auf wiedersehen.”
The shocking new findings don’t come as a surprise to everyone, as Daily Mail writer Jimothy Gimpweed hollers, “We always knew them there video games was evil. I’ve written numerous articles about the violent influences and evil stranglehold these games have on our children, and now I’ve been proven correct. Ha ha, suck on that you spotty nerds!
My previous articles on the links between video games and evilness show it is a well-known fact that Saddam Hussein plays video games, and he’s evil, so therefore games must also be evil. Other famous evil gamers include George W. Bush, Bill Gates, Gary Glitter, and the guy who played Dirty Den, plus it’s also believed that Adolf Hitler was a huge advocate of board games, the precursor to video games. Even mass-murderer Harold Shipman confessed to once playing Doom around a friend’s house. Now we have the concrete evidence, it’s proof that video games make more evil people.”
He then grabbed his pitchfork and joined his fuddy-duddy Daily Mail mob on the hunt for evil gamers.
The Most Right Reverend Lou Nee, preached that video games are “definitely a source of holy blasphemy, a sacrilegious hobby and evil tool of technological terror that contain hidden satanic messages and will enslave the minds of people everywhere, turning them from ordinary citizens into violent slavering maniacs.”
He later added in one of his crazy sermons, “I once had a horrible nightmare in which the devil himself came up to me and revealed himself to be none other than Super Mario! Together with his evil army of Pokemon, Mario, or Lucifer as he prefers to be known, rules the fiery depths of hell, but is also free to infect the minds of people everywhere.”
He also signalled out Peter Molyneux for particular scathing damnation, “I was highly shocked to learn of the ‘God game genre’, believing to be religious games teaching God’s messages to gamers, in actual fact though, it’s just the player acting like a god and being cruel to his or her subjects by destroying their villages with lightning. Hardly the actions of a real god, merely someone abusing their powers and being evil.”
Countering the growing facts was self-confessed gaming über-geek Jason Read, who famously queued in a tent waiting for Turok Evolution, one of 2002’s biggest gaming disappointments (second only to The Getaway). He said, “As the best gamer in the world, I refute these foolish ideas about us being turned into evil monsters by our hobby. Take me for example, I spend hours playing games each day and frag thousands of virtual people, and I’m the most normal person I know. Instead of blaming games, why not blame rap music?”
Whether or not you believe that the rise in evil, overly violent, foul-mouthed kids who blatantly disregard the rules of decent society with wanton-abandon is all due to video games is up to you. The facts are growing, and the future is looking like it could be a lot more evil, are video games to blame? Probably, but what the heck, being evil does have its advantages…
But SR love him, seeing as he wins A GAD every 20 days or so. Equating to a huge 25 GADs. Hmmm. He can't be THAT bad.
I'm not surprised that I'm the only one to repy since 27/01/03.
You S.U.C.K.!
You S.U.C.K.!
If you play video games, you’re ten times more likely to become an evil human being.
This is an irrefutable fact according to recent studies carried out by a church funded secret organisation.
The secret research carried out began many years ago, and has lasted right up until the present day, with a number of different tests carried out on a variety of different people from all walks of life.
A group of young 4-year old children were tested on for a period of ten years; all the children had the same education throughout, but the tests were done on their recreational activities and hobbies; half the children were taught important lessons from the Bible in their spare time, with the other half playing video games. Needless to say, after years of research and testing, the half who learnt the bible matured into healthy and respectable young adults, but the gamers had a tendency to be more evil.
Another experiment involved normal well-adjusted people who don’t play video games being shown cards with ambiguous images on, and told to say the first thing to came into their heads when they saw the images. They all found nice and gentle things hidden in the pictures. The so-called “hardcore” gamers were then shown the same cards, but instead of finding peaceful images, they naturally all came up with violent images about death, destruction and “fragging”.
Dr Wilhelm Von Frankenheffer of the Duselheim Institute of Evil Studies, who lead the research, concluded, “Ve have done many tests and gruesome experiments on ze brains of gamers using some emotion sensitive slime from Ghostbusters 2. Achtung!
Ve tested ze flow of evil energy from ze games consoles, channelling ze energy from ze games to control pad wires into the players, and ze levels were ten times above zat of films and muzik. Dunkopf!
If ze older gamers who have been playing for the last decade continue playing ze games for about two more yearz, zey vill turn into complete crazy psychopaths.
Now that my research into zis matter is concluded, I’m going to research the effectz of David Hasselhoff disco muzik on ze brain. Auf wiedersehen.”
The shocking new findings don’t come as a surprise to everyone, as Daily Mail writer Jimothy Gimpweed hollers, “We always knew them there video games was evil. I’ve written numerous articles about the violent influences and evil stranglehold these games have on our children, and now I’ve been proven correct. Ha ha, suck on that you spotty nerds!
My previous articles on the links between video games and evilness show it is a well-known fact that Saddam Hussein plays video games, and he’s evil, so therefore games must also be evil. Other famous evil gamers include George W. Bush, Bill Gates, Gary Glitter, and the guy who played Dirty Den, plus it’s also believed that Adolf Hitler was a huge advocate of board games, the precursor to video games. Even mass-murderer Harold Shipman confessed to once playing Doom around a friend’s house. Now we have the concrete evidence, it’s proof that video games make more evil people.”
He then grabbed his pitchfork and joined his fuddy-duddy Daily Mail mob on the hunt for evil gamers.
The Most Right Reverend Lou Nee, preached that video games are “definitely a source of holy blasphemy, a sacrilegious hobby and evil tool of technological terror that contain hidden satanic messages and will enslave the minds of people everywhere, turning them from ordinary citizens into violent slavering maniacs.”
He later added in one of his crazy sermons, “I once had a horrible nightmare in which the devil himself came up to me and revealed himself to be none other than Super Mario! Together with his evil army of Pokemon, Mario, or Lucifer as he prefers to be known, rules the fiery depths of hell, but is also free to infect the minds of people everywhere.”
He also signalled out Peter Molyneux for particular scathing damnation, “I was highly shocked to learn of the ‘God game genre’, believing to be religious games teaching God’s messages to gamers, in actual fact though, it’s just the player acting like a god and being cruel to his or her subjects by destroying their villages with lightning. Hardly the actions of a real god, merely someone abusing their powers and being evil.”
Countering the growing facts was self-confessed gaming über-geek Jason Read, who famously queued in a tent waiting for Turok Evolution, one of 2002’s biggest gaming disappointments (second only to The Getaway). He said, “As the best gamer in the world, I refute these foolish ideas about us being turned into evil monsters by our hobby. Take me for example, I spend hours playing games each day and frag thousands of virtual people, and I’m the most normal person I know. Instead of blaming games, why not blame rap music?”
Whether or not you believe that the rise in evil, overly violent, foul-mouthed kids who blatantly disregard the rules of decent society with wanton-abandon is all due to video games is up to you. The facts are growing, and the future is looking like it could be a lot more evil, are video games to blame? Probably, but what the heck, being evil does have its advantages…
This is an irrefutable fact according to recent studies carried out by a church funded secret organisation.
The secret research carried out began many years ago, and has lasted right up until the present day, with a number of different tests carried out on a variety of different people from all walks of life.
A group of young 4-year old children were tested on for a period of ten years; all the children had the same education throughout, but the tests were done on their recreational activities and hobbies; half the children were taught important lessons from the Bible in their spare time, with the other half playing video games. Needless to say, after years of research and testing, the half who learnt the bible matured into healthy and respectable young adults, but the gamers had a tendency to be more evil.
Another experiment involved normal well-adjusted people who don’t play video games being shown cards with ambiguous images on, and told to say the first thing to came into their heads when they saw the images. They all found nice and gentle things hidden in the pictures. The so-called “hardcore” gamers were then shown the same cards, but instead of finding peaceful images, they naturally all came up with violent images about death, destruction and “fragging”.
Dr Wilhelm Von Frankenheffer of the Duselheim Institute of Evil Studies, who lead the research, concluded, “Ve have done many tests and gruesome experiments on ze brains of gamers using some emotion sensitive slime from Ghostbusters 2. Achtung!
Ve tested ze flow of evil energy from ze games consoles, channelling ze energy from ze games to control pad wires into the players, and ze levels were ten times above zat of films and muzik. Dunkopf!
If ze older gamers who have been playing for the last decade continue playing ze games for about two more yearz, zey vill turn into complete crazy psychopaths.
Now that my research into zis matter is concluded, I’m going to research the effectz of David Hasselhoff disco muzik on ze brain. Auf wiedersehen.”
The shocking new findings don’t come as a surprise to everyone, as Daily Mail writer Jimothy Gimpweed hollers, “We always knew them there video games was evil. I’ve written numerous articles about the violent influences and evil stranglehold these games have on our children, and now I’ve been proven correct. Ha ha, suck on that you spotty nerds!
My previous articles on the links between video games and evilness show it is a well-known fact that Saddam Hussein plays video games, and he’s evil, so therefore games must also be evil. Other famous evil gamers include George W. Bush, Bill Gates, Gary Glitter, and the guy who played Dirty Den, plus it’s also believed that Adolf Hitler was a huge advocate of board games, the precursor to video games. Even mass-murderer Harold Shipman confessed to once playing Doom around a friend’s house. Now we have the concrete evidence, it’s proof that video games make more evil people.”
He then grabbed his pitchfork and joined his fuddy-duddy Daily Mail mob on the hunt for evil gamers.
The Most Right Reverend Lou Nee, preached that video games are “definitely a source of holy blasphemy, a sacrilegious hobby and evil tool of technological terror that contain hidden satanic messages and will enslave the minds of people everywhere, turning them from ordinary citizens into violent slavering maniacs.”
He later added in one of his crazy sermons, “I once had a horrible nightmare in which the devil himself came up to me and revealed himself to be none other than Super Mario! Together with his evil army of Pokemon, Mario, or Lucifer as he prefers to be known, rules the fiery depths of hell, but is also free to infect the minds of people everywhere.”
He also signalled out Peter Molyneux for particular scathing damnation, “I was highly shocked to learn of the ‘God game genre’, believing to be religious games teaching God’s messages to gamers, in actual fact though, it’s just the player acting like a god and being cruel to his or her subjects by destroying their villages with lightning. Hardly the actions of a real god, merely someone abusing their powers and being evil.”
Countering the growing facts was self-confessed gaming über-geek Jason Read, who famously queued in a tent waiting for Turok Evolution, one of 2002’s biggest gaming disappointments (second only to The Getaway). He said, “As the best gamer in the world, I refute these foolish ideas about us being turned into evil monsters by our hobby. Take me for example, I spend hours playing games each day and frag thousands of virtual people, and I’m the most normal person I know. Instead of blaming games, why not blame rap music?”
Whether or not you believe that the rise in evil, overly violent, foul-mouthed kids who blatantly disregard the rules of decent society with wanton-abandon is all due to video games is up to you. The facts are growing, and the future is looking like it could be a lot more evil, are video games to blame? Probably, but what the heck, being evil does have its advantages…