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The topic title may sound strange, but so is the topic. You will all know those annoying bits of paper that fall out of the middle of a newspaper/magazine/new carpet/from underneath the sofa - and most of you will probably ignore them. However if you are to look closer they are all irritating mortgage adverts with a D-list female celebrity on them.
In the days of old, it used to be smily smily Carol Smillie, holding a wad of oversized tenners, on a car bonnet weakly posing and smiling holding the hand of a small (probably kidnapped) child. But it seems old Carol gave it up (or was sick of people saying "hey its you from them stupid adverts") and went back to hosting Changing Rooms with the oh-so-gay Laurence Lewellyn Bowen.
In miss Smillies absence the world of annoying leaflets nobody ever reads, was disheartened. They needed to find a replacement and fast. The replacement had to be a female in her 40's who is past her best and quite frankly needs the money. She must be mildly famous and host a tea-time or early evening show, watched by the elderly.
They turned their attention to Carol Vordeman, perhaps just a namesake, but she fit the bill to a tee. In her 40's, host of countdown and known as 'the clever bird on that number show' by the pub-goers. She was, for a short while, the new Carol Smillie. She grinned like there was no tomorrow and held oversized pound notes with ease, but she gave it all up when season 8 of Countdown beckoned. Just like Carol Smillie she left the industry in the lurch.
It seems the industry aren't that easy to stop though as they began hunting again, rifling through middle aged female celebs faster than Mike Tyson eating a plate of ears. They got a number of people who 'just weren't quite right' these included Anne Robinson, Madonna and Christine Hamilton. But then they stumbled across a D-list celebrity superstar, Leslie Ash. She was way past her prime (Men Behaving Badly), had just had a collogen implant accident giving her a trout pout, and had began doing Homebase adverts with the king of dopiness, Neil Morrisey.
So today I picked up the tv guide and low and behold I saw Leslie Ash's gurning mug grinning back at me when flipped to the centre pages. She was in the traditional on car bonnet, wad of giant tenner and holding kiddies hand pose, as usual. A new career in the making or just a brief flutter of regret, who knows? And more to the point, who cares?
-kyz22-
In the days of old, it used to be smily smily Carol Smillie, holding a wad of oversized tenners, on a car bonnet weakly posing and smiling holding the hand of a small (probably kidnapped) child. But it seems old Carol gave it up (or was sick of people saying "hey its you from them stupid adverts") and went back to hosting Changing Rooms with the oh-so-gay Laurence Lewellyn Bowen.
In miss Smillies absence the world of annoying leaflets nobody ever reads, was disheartened. They needed to find a replacement and fast. The replacement had to be a female in her 40's who is past her best and quite frankly needs the money. She must be mildly famous and host a tea-time or early evening show, watched by the elderly.
They turned their attention to Carol Vordeman, perhaps just a namesake, but she fit the bill to a tee. In her 40's, host of countdown and known as 'the clever bird on that number show' by the pub-goers. She was, for a short while, the new Carol Smillie. She grinned like there was no tomorrow and held oversized pound notes with ease, but she gave it all up when season 8 of Countdown beckoned. Just like Carol Smillie she left the industry in the lurch.
It seems the industry aren't that easy to stop though as they began hunting again, rifling through middle aged female celebs faster than Mike Tyson eating a plate of ears. They got a number of people who 'just weren't quite right' these included Anne Robinson, Madonna and Christine Hamilton. But then they stumbled across a D-list celebrity superstar, Leslie Ash. She was way past her prime (Men Behaving Badly), had just had a collogen implant accident giving her a trout pout, and had began doing Homebase adverts with the king of dopiness, Neil Morrisey.
So today I picked up the tv guide and low and behold I saw Leslie Ash's gurning mug grinning back at me when flipped to the centre pages. She was in the traditional on car bonnet, wad of giant tenner and holding kiddies hand pose, as usual. A new career in the making or just a brief flutter of regret, who knows? And more to the point, who cares?
-kyz22-
I used to date Carol's smile until our relationship was frowned upon.
calm Azul...calm!
Smiley Smiley Carol Smilie!!
Yey!
Yey!
Define ill
*moo's*
*moo's*
are you ill Kyle?
this is one helluva wierd topic...
this is one helluva wierd topic...
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm your mum.....
memorandum dude, they are old enough to be my mum!
*ahem* - Read it and poke fun at my sanity!
mmmmmmm Carol Vorderman/Smillie
*gets the tissues*
There are uses for those you know....
*gets the tissues*
There are uses for those you know....
The topic title may sound strange, but so is the topic. You will all know those annoying bits of paper that fall out of the middle of a newspaper/magazine/new carpet/from underneath the sofa - and most of you will probably ignore them. However if you are to look closer they are all irritating mortgage adverts with a D-list female celebrity on them.
In the days of old, it used to be smily smily Carol Smillie, holding a wad of oversized tenners, on a car bonnet weakly posing and smiling holding the hand of a small (probably kidnapped) child. But it seems old Carol gave it up (or was sick of people saying "hey its you from them stupid adverts") and went back to hosting Changing Rooms with the oh-so-gay Laurence Lewellyn Bowen.
In miss Smillies absence the world of annoying leaflets nobody ever reads, was disheartened. They needed to find a replacement and fast. The replacement had to be a female in her 40's who is past her best and quite frankly needs the money. She must be mildly famous and host a tea-time or early evening show, watched by the elderly.
They turned their attention to Carol Vordeman, perhaps just a namesake, but she fit the bill to a tee. In her 40's, host of countdown and known as 'the clever bird on that number show' by the pub-goers. She was, for a short while, the new Carol Smillie. She grinned like there was no tomorrow and held oversized pound notes with ease, but she gave it all up when season 8 of Countdown beckoned. Just like Carol Smillie she left the industry in the lurch.
It seems the industry aren't that easy to stop though as they began hunting again, rifling through middle aged female celebs faster than Mike Tyson eating a plate of ears. They got a number of people who 'just weren't quite right' these included Anne Robinson, Madonna and Christine Hamilton. But then they stumbled across a D-list celebrity superstar, Leslie Ash. She was way past her prime (Men Behaving Badly), had just had a collogen implant accident giving her a trout pout, and had began doing Homebase adverts with the king of dopiness, Neil Morrisey.
So today I picked up the tv guide and low and behold I saw Leslie Ash's gurning mug grinning back at me when flipped to the centre pages. She was in the traditional on car bonnet, wad of giant tenner and holding kiddies hand pose, as usual. A new career in the making or just a brief flutter of regret, who knows? And more to the point, who cares?
-kyz22-
In the days of old, it used to be smily smily Carol Smillie, holding a wad of oversized tenners, on a car bonnet weakly posing and smiling holding the hand of a small (probably kidnapped) child. But it seems old Carol gave it up (or was sick of people saying "hey its you from them stupid adverts") and went back to hosting Changing Rooms with the oh-so-gay Laurence Lewellyn Bowen.
In miss Smillies absence the world of annoying leaflets nobody ever reads, was disheartened. They needed to find a replacement and fast. The replacement had to be a female in her 40's who is past her best and quite frankly needs the money. She must be mildly famous and host a tea-time or early evening show, watched by the elderly.
They turned their attention to Carol Vordeman, perhaps just a namesake, but she fit the bill to a tee. In her 40's, host of countdown and known as 'the clever bird on that number show' by the pub-goers. She was, for a short while, the new Carol Smillie. She grinned like there was no tomorrow and held oversized pound notes with ease, but she gave it all up when season 8 of Countdown beckoned. Just like Carol Smillie she left the industry in the lurch.
It seems the industry aren't that easy to stop though as they began hunting again, rifling through middle aged female celebs faster than Mike Tyson eating a plate of ears. They got a number of people who 'just weren't quite right' these included Anne Robinson, Madonna and Christine Hamilton. But then they stumbled across a D-list celebrity superstar, Leslie Ash. She was way past her prime (Men Behaving Badly), had just had a collogen implant accident giving her a trout pout, and had began doing Homebase adverts with the king of dopiness, Neil Morrisey.
So today I picked up the tv guide and low and behold I saw Leslie Ash's gurning mug grinning back at me when flipped to the centre pages. She was in the traditional on car bonnet, wad of giant tenner and holding kiddies hand pose, as usual. A new career in the making or just a brief flutter of regret, who knows? And more to the point, who cares?
-kyz22-