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Er, Hi. This is gonna be long, so if you can't read fast or can't read at all, i suggest you go down to the replies ( if any ).
If you vote me notable, i will continue to write funny topics, and highlight ones that are neglected unfairly. Here are two of my best ones:
_______________________________
Title: Did You Know?
Location: Sony Forum & FOG Chat.
EA's Virtual Bond will star in many more of his own games.
Roger Moore was the world's first 'virtual' actor.
Snowboarding is no more a sport than synchronised swimming, a dog was heard to say.
Shaun Palmer is so into Chevrolets he's had the name tattoed about his body. And not where you'd think.
Desite it's board on snow simplicity, snowboarding is one of the most expensive sports in the world. At least, if you live in Bahrain.
Messing around with big sticks, swords and anchors can be hazardous to your health.
Another dangerous activity is listening to your radio in the bath, whilst the device is perched perilously on the edge of the tub.
Yet another risky activity involves waking up to Sara Cox's 'hilarious' breakfast show. As above, this involves a radio.
Dropship, Metal Gear 2 and Twisted Metal Black were delayed due to Sept 11th.
All objects in the universe exert an equal but opposite force on each other.
Some girls do and some girls don't.
Doughnut Monster just can't.
Game ratings are getting lower and lower. We must be ready for those new ideas game developers are hiding away.
Awww... come on. what have you got to lose? Money? Bwa Ha Haarrr....
NO, i mean it. We shouldn't have to live in Japan to experience Suzuki Bakuhatsu sans import prices.
French is one of the oldest languages in existence. it was invented way back in 1983 when a man called Patrick gargled the word 'jambon' whilst having his stomach pumped outside a roller disco.
ignore the lesson given by Silent scope 2's heroes. It is a bad idea to storm a base full of machine gun toting maniacs armed with a Sniper Rifle.
Taking a mullet along won't help your case....
....in fact, i'd have to suggest adorning yourself with a tank instead. They are much more fashionable thatn the said haircut and you could always snipe from inside if you have a penchant for inappropriate weaponry.
You can cut a worm in half and both ends will live.
The same can't be said for cats.
Cats are no good at catching fish.
Grenades are.
Natbuc recently went for a dose of gene therapy.
They played Gene Autry's entire collection to him at a very loud
volume.
They now expect his family line to be born without ears.
Despite rumours to the contrary, the WWF doesn't encourage wild pandas to fight each other in tights.
American kids were banned from wearing bart Simpson T-Shirts to school in fear of anti-social behaviour.
Crash bandicoot was invented to compete with SEGA and nintendo's Sonic 'no prisoners' The hedgehog and Mario 'your goin down' brown.
To smuggle something means to transport an illicit item without authorities getting hold of it.
...which makes Smuggler's Run 2's title a little non-sensical. The law is all too aware of what your up to!
Still, can't complain. A game about showing your passport and smiling wouldn't have the same appeal. well, maybe in Japan.
Rabbits, much like fish, feel no pain.
Guns are illegal in Japan.
Jumping on monsters heads to reach higher places was common activity until something we call 'stairs' was invented.
FIFA does not stand for Frogs in Fierce Armour.
But it should.
Wipeout's original advertising campaign, featuring two m**g-faced mooks, was critiscised for it's promotion of drug culture.
A connection between Quake 3 and a trio of rampaging scousers has yet to be established.
To paraphrase an old chinese proverb, 'Don't be afraid of the dark, be afraid of what's in it.'
Other popular Chinese proverbs include 'I am not as green as i am cabbage looking'.
And of course 'Nip down to Asda and get me a crate of stella, cheers mate'
It is better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.
Time Crisis 2 was used to train the Belgian Army, not in warfare but in making cakes.
Silent hill 2's creatures were animated by hand so they didn't end up looking too natural.
The same can be said for me when generous amounts of shandy are donated.
Thurr y'go...y'shee what i mean? A-ha-ha.
There is more than one way to skin a cat. Pro Evo favours the spinning technique, which leaves the intestines untouched.
The word 'Soccer' was invented by Americans after they realised they'd foolishly named there own sport football even though you don't use you feet in it.
The world's first skateboards were scooters with the handles removed.
Thus, a thousand clothing labels were created.
I now have a flamethrower. Ho, ho, ho!
Eden is ssxpro's least favourite perfume. remember that when buying him presents.
running around the eden project with a gun shouting 'follow me' will get you arrested. (Clever gun though)
Most vechiles can be destroyed by a single missile srtike, as Natbuc can testify.
Michael Caine was born Michael Mickelwhite and was the son of a charlady and a fishmonger. Not a lot of people know that.
On the second saturday of every month the SR team gather round to make a sacrifice to old Nick.
If your worried, Old Nick is not the decvil, but the guy who fills up the office vending machine.
The sacrifices are never living, and consist of chesse and crackers.
Thanks for reading (if you did)
Asher
___________________
Title: All Star football
Location: Fog prime Topics.
Here is a nice refreshing change. I, and many other people could argue over N64 or Playstation for days on end. But, instead of fighting it to the death, why don't they have a nice game of football. Except it's NEARLY everything goes. Prepare yourself for a great game of football. Oh, here come the players
Here are the line ups. The player, the game and the position.
Sony:
1. Daxter-Jak & Daxter-Goalie
2. Heihachi-Tekken-Defence
3. Crash-Crash Bandicoot-Defence
4. Robocop-Robocop-Defence
5. Cloud-Final Fantasy 7-Defence
6. Jak-Jak & Daxter-Midfield
7. Tony Hawk-Pro skater-Midfield
8. Tanner-Driver-Midfield
9. Zidane-Final fantasy 9- Attack
10. Clare-Resi Evil-attack
11. Dante-Devil may Cry-Attack
Subs:
12 Chris-resi Evil-Goalie
13. Ken-Street Fighter-Defence
14. Spyro-Spyro 3-Midfield
15. Abe-Oddworld-Midfield
16. Squall-FF8-Attack
Nintendo:
1. Donkey kong-Donkey Kong 64-Goalie
2. Kirby-Kirby 64-defence
3. Kazooie-Banjo Tooie-Defence
4. Pikachu-pokemon-Defence
5. Luigi-luigi's mansion-Defence
6. Banjo-Banjo Tooie-Midfield
7. Pikimin-Pikimin-Midfield
8. Fox McCloud-Starfox-Midfield
9. Mario-What isn't he in?-Midfield
10. Conker-Conker's BFD-Attack
11. Zelda-ZeldaTMM-attack
Subs:
12. Diddy Kong-Diddy racing-Goalie
13. Yoshi-Yoshi 64-Defence
14. Wario-Wario-Midfield
15. Bowser-Mario-Attack
16. james bond-Goldeneye-Attack
The match will be refereed by Sonic
And now it's time for Kick off.
Sony to take
And they're off. Dante passes to Zidane, who takes it round Zelda but is taken down viciously by Conker. A free kick is given, as conker walks away swearing. Dante hits it to Clare in the box. Clare shoots, but the ball rebounds straight off Donkey Kong and rolls away to luigi. Luigi passes to Pikimin, who is too small and gets run over by the ball. He is flat as a pancake as they carry him off, and Wario runs on.
The play continues.
The ball is pushed up to mario who runs past heihachi, who attempts to kick him. mario jumps on crash's head, and Conker zips past, taking the ball with him. it is Conker V daxter. daxter is so small that Conker easily chips it into the top corner. 0-1!
Dante kicks off and runs through every player. he shoots, But DK gets in the way without even lifting a finger. Zelda gets it and runs through. He cheekily taps it at daxter, who stops the ball but is knocked back into the net by the force. Conker pushes past Zelda and taps it in. 0-2! As soon as they kick off Kazooie flys over and takes the ball in his beak. He flys high, dodging shots from robocop. he drops the ball on Daxter, then Conker runs up and easily places it in the net for his hatrick. 0-3! Searching for confidence, the Sony team play poorly, and Dante gets booked for mistaking pikachu for the football. Zidane gets a few shots in, but none beat DK. Eventually the ball comes to the edge of the box. Daxter and Zelda run for it. Zelda gets there first and chips it into the empty net. 0-4! Just then, the halftime whistle blows.
The Sony team come out looking happy. as soon as platy resumes, Dante runs up to DK and pops two caps in his head. Danrte is arrested, and diddy replaces Donkey. Clare tackles Fox, and shoots from way out. Diddy can't reach it as it glides into the top corner. 1-4! Daxter s replaced by chris, so Conker and zelda's shots are blocked. Heihachi picks up Conker and lobs him into the crossbar. conker shouts an insult at Heihavchi as a penalty is given. Apparently, Heihachi doesn't like being called a silver haired git, so Robocop has to hold him back.Conker takes the penalty and just beats Chris 1-5! sony get back on the attack, and immediately Tanner and Jak work their way down the field. jak pulls out a great shot which sails in. 2-5!
Clare shoots again, but it dips and Diddy manages to knock it off for a corner. Zidane takes, and out of nowhere comes Tony Hawk on a skateboard. He uses his speed and easily heads it in. 3 to 5! Mario shoots at Chris, who shoots the ball. It bursts and a new one is thrown on the pitch. Cloud plays it long to zidane, who volleys it home. 4-5! Straight from kick off, Tanner plays a one-two with Jak. Tanner puts it high and past diddy. 5-5!
Then the fulltime whistle blows. Full time. Draw. The nintendo fans boo as Sony leave, and the guy from GTA 3 starts a riot by lobbing a brick at an irish man.
So no winners, no losers.
_________________________
Here is a topic i thought deserved more credit
Author: Stryke
Location: FOG PT
Title: Raging Plumber
The story of Jake La Motta in Raging Bull is a tragic one, but it is nothing compared to the suffering and fall from grace of Mario, once Nintendo's stalwart - The story of "Raging Plumber."
Mario started life in a small town in Italy that no one knows the name of. Possibly because it doesn't exist, who can say? He suffered disfortune from an early age - his brother Luigi was far bigger than him, in all areas. He never had any luck with the ladies, poor Mario. All he could do was study stereotypical Italian-English, the poor lad. He really mastered those "A-'s".His trademark phrase was first pioneered when Luigi beat him to a pulp, believing him to be a very fat cat-burglar. "It's a-me, It's a-Mar...arrrrgh..." wasn't very sucessful at first. He didn't change it until years later, when a chance meeting with Shigsy in Venice Strip Club led to interviews with Nintendo top people for the official position of mascot. At last Mario felt a calling. It all went swimmingly from there, once they taught the fat man to swim. Unfortunately, Mario had never entered puberty, so they improvised the bushy moustache with Shigsy's dressing gown and a sharp pair of scissors.
He had a co-star, the beautiful Princess Daisy. She hated her brace-wearing hero.
"Yes, the man was so uncouth. That belly of his is caused by too many beers. And his false moustauche looks so.....70's!" commented Daisy, from her vastly overpriced mansion.
But that never held back Mario. He even forgave his brother, Luigi, who was at the time working in P.R. The tall, thin ladies man was flown to Japan with all haste. Mario believes these were the crowning years of his work. Even the sets were beautiful.
"Yeah, the sets and graphics were top-notch. Really captured my...wossname...inner beauty. Yeah." commented Luigi.
They loved their new villian, Bowser-Koopa-Whatever. It was of course, Shigsy playing around with some green makeup and a metallic bath, but they never knew. Until now, of course.
"THAT GIT! I *censored. Have a cookie. It'll be a while* with a mincer!" yelled Luigi, on finding out.
Things started to go downhill for the team when Mario's Budhist guru, Sonic, betrayed Mario to work for Sega. Although things appeared normal, the team was beginning to fall apart.
"Well, he used to appear for work all dishevelled. Often he'd have..oh...half a pint. It's his size, you know. He's only 5cm tall, the poor man. It'd go straight to his head. While we're at it, I really hated his sideburns." said Daisy.
One day the confrontation with Sonic came to a head at a conference in Tokoyo, and Sonic beat Mario senseless before flouncing off with his hired fun, Tails.
"I don't think Mario ever really recovered from that. And why didn't I think of making Mario gay? I could have played his lover!" yelled Shigsy, before running off.
By the time of the N64, which Shigsy had made with the remainders of his beloved dressing gown and two medium sized breeze blocks, Mario was deeply hooked on milk.
"We tried to get him off it, onto something normal, like weed, cocaine or even leomade, but he would be shelling out his wages on milk. Milk, every day! No-one could take that." sobbed Luigi, before being consoled by WWF star Stone Cold Steve Austin.
The milk addiction was tearing his life apart, but Mario still starred in Mario 64.
"You that face-strectching thing at the start? That was real. We had to constantly massage his face to keep the milk flowing." whooped Shigsy.
After Mario 64, Mario just disappeared. Luigi searched for him everywhere, but was distracted by Daisy's overtures and spent many a long day frolicking with her in that pink mansion. You know, looking at squirrels, and stuff. Mario was singing famous Bee-Gees hits at a club in Basingstoke.
"He was great. Without that moustache, I didn't recognise him! He downed a pint of milk a night. JeSUS, that man could drink!" commented Jim McbarTender, who didn't wish to be named. Sod him.
So where does this put Mario now? He was thrown in prision for stealing milk from football star David Beckhams house.
"I didn't want to create a scene, but it's MY MILK, and Victoria loves it so on her Kelloggs Special K. You heard it, Special K, now with RED BERRIES! Eat it, the Beckhams do!" said Beckham, before being handed a large wad of cash.
We managed to get an interview with Mario in prision. The man is a state.
" I dont-a know where I went'a wrong. I'm only 47, me whole a-life was ahead of me. What do you mean, I'm short and I have no friends?"
He's finally grown his own moustache. Apparently makes him more attractive to the ladies. He hoped Diasy would be waiting for him. HA!
So Shigsy, in desperation, re-did some classic Mario hits for the GBA, signed Sonic for a GBA appearance, and gave Luigi his first starring role. But we will always remember a rotund plumber, who threw it all away. He also doesn't think red goes well with his eyes. Let's face it, the guy was a muppet.
Hope you enjoyed, just an idea I had in my exam today,
Cheers,
Stryke.
____________________
Also, "VOTE DOUGHNUT MONSTER" is funny, from the moment you read the title....
Okay, please vote me Notable. I hope this was a joy to read, and I apologise that the length of it takes a while to scroll down.
Best wishes
Asher
If you vote me notable, i will continue to write funny topics, and highlight ones that are neglected unfairly. Here are two of my best ones:
_______________________________
Title: Did You Know?
Location: Sony Forum & FOG Chat.
EA's Virtual Bond will star in many more of his own games.
Roger Moore was the world's first 'virtual' actor.
Snowboarding is no more a sport than synchronised swimming, a dog was heard to say.
Shaun Palmer is so into Chevrolets he's had the name tattoed about his body. And not where you'd think.
Desite it's board on snow simplicity, snowboarding is one of the most expensive sports in the world. At least, if you live in Bahrain.
Messing around with big sticks, swords and anchors can be hazardous to your health.
Another dangerous activity is listening to your radio in the bath, whilst the device is perched perilously on the edge of the tub.
Yet another risky activity involves waking up to Sara Cox's 'hilarious' breakfast show. As above, this involves a radio.
Dropship, Metal Gear 2 and Twisted Metal Black were delayed due to Sept 11th.
All objects in the universe exert an equal but opposite force on each other.
Some girls do and some girls don't.
Doughnut Monster just can't.
Game ratings are getting lower and lower. We must be ready for those new ideas game developers are hiding away.
Awww... come on. what have you got to lose? Money? Bwa Ha Haarrr....
NO, i mean it. We shouldn't have to live in Japan to experience Suzuki Bakuhatsu sans import prices.
French is one of the oldest languages in existence. it was invented way back in 1983 when a man called Patrick gargled the word 'jambon' whilst having his stomach pumped outside a roller disco.
ignore the lesson given by Silent scope 2's heroes. It is a bad idea to storm a base full of machine gun toting maniacs armed with a Sniper Rifle.
Taking a mullet along won't help your case....
....in fact, i'd have to suggest adorning yourself with a tank instead. They are much more fashionable thatn the said haircut and you could always snipe from inside if you have a penchant for inappropriate weaponry.
You can cut a worm in half and both ends will live.
The same can't be said for cats.
Cats are no good at catching fish.
Grenades are.
Natbuc recently went for a dose of gene therapy.
They played Gene Autry's entire collection to him at a very loud
volume.
They now expect his family line to be born without ears.
Despite rumours to the contrary, the WWF doesn't encourage wild pandas to fight each other in tights.
American kids were banned from wearing bart Simpson T-Shirts to school in fear of anti-social behaviour.
Crash bandicoot was invented to compete with SEGA and nintendo's Sonic 'no prisoners' The hedgehog and Mario 'your goin down' brown.
To smuggle something means to transport an illicit item without authorities getting hold of it.
...which makes Smuggler's Run 2's title a little non-sensical. The law is all too aware of what your up to!
Still, can't complain. A game about showing your passport and smiling wouldn't have the same appeal. well, maybe in Japan.
Rabbits, much like fish, feel no pain.
Guns are illegal in Japan.
Jumping on monsters heads to reach higher places was common activity until something we call 'stairs' was invented.
FIFA does not stand for Frogs in Fierce Armour.
But it should.
Wipeout's original advertising campaign, featuring two m**g-faced mooks, was critiscised for it's promotion of drug culture.
A connection between Quake 3 and a trio of rampaging scousers has yet to be established.
To paraphrase an old chinese proverb, 'Don't be afraid of the dark, be afraid of what's in it.'
Other popular Chinese proverbs include 'I am not as green as i am cabbage looking'.
And of course 'Nip down to Asda and get me a crate of stella, cheers mate'
It is better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.
Time Crisis 2 was used to train the Belgian Army, not in warfare but in making cakes.
Silent hill 2's creatures were animated by hand so they didn't end up looking too natural.
The same can be said for me when generous amounts of shandy are donated.
There is more than one way to skin a cat. Pro Evo favours the spinning technique, which leaves the intestines untouched.
The word 'Soccer' was invented by Americans after they realised they'd foolishly named there own sport football even though you don't use you feet in it.
The world's first skateboards were scooters with the handles removed.
Thus, a thousand clothing labels were created.
I now have a flamethrower. Ho, ho, ho!
Eden is ssxpro's least favourite perfume. remember that when buying him presents.
running around the eden project with a gun shouting 'follow me' will get you arrested. (Clever gun though)
Most vechiles can be destroyed by a single missile srtike, as Natbuc can testify.
Michael Caine was born Michael Mickelwhite and was the son of a charlady and a fishmonger. Not a lot of people know that.
On the second saturday of every month the SR team gather round to make a sacrifice to old Nick.
If your worried, Old Nick is not the decvil, but the guy who fills up the office vending machine.
The sacrifices are never living, and consist of chesse and crackers.
Thanks for reading (if you did)
Asher
___________________
Title: All Star football
Location: Fog prime Topics.
Here is a nice refreshing change. I, and many other people could argue over N64 or Playstation for days on end. But, instead of fighting it to the death, why don't they have a nice game of football. Except it's NEARLY everything goes. Prepare yourself for a great game of football. Oh, here come the players
Here are the line ups. The player, the game and the position.
Sony:
1. Daxter-Jak & Daxter-Goalie
2. Heihachi-Tekken-Defence
3. Crash-Crash Bandicoot-Defence
4. Robocop-Robocop-Defence
5. Cloud-Final Fantasy 7-Defence
6. Jak-Jak & Daxter-Midfield
7. Tony Hawk-Pro skater-Midfield
8. Tanner-Driver-Midfield
9. Zidane-Final fantasy 9- Attack
10. Clare-Resi Evil-attack
11. Dante-Devil may Cry-Attack
Subs:
12 Chris-resi Evil-Goalie
13. Ken-Street Fighter-Defence
14. Spyro-Spyro 3-Midfield
15. Abe-Oddworld-Midfield
16. Squall-FF8-Attack
Nintendo:
1. Donkey kong-Donkey Kong 64-Goalie
2. Kirby-Kirby 64-defence
3. Kazooie-Banjo Tooie-Defence
4. Pikachu-pokemon-Defence
5. Luigi-luigi's mansion-Defence
6. Banjo-Banjo Tooie-Midfield
7. Pikimin-Pikimin-Midfield
8. Fox McCloud-Starfox-Midfield
9. Mario-What isn't he in?-Midfield
10. Conker-Conker's BFD-Attack
11. Zelda-ZeldaTMM-attack
Subs:
12. Diddy Kong-Diddy racing-Goalie
13. Yoshi-Yoshi 64-Defence
14. Wario-Wario-Midfield
15. Bowser-Mario-Attack
16. james bond-Goldeneye-Attack
The match will be refereed by Sonic
And now it's time for Kick off.
Sony to take
And they're off. Dante passes to Zidane, who takes it round Zelda but is taken down viciously by Conker. A free kick is given, as conker walks away swearing. Dante hits it to Clare in the box. Clare shoots, but the ball rebounds straight off Donkey Kong and rolls away to luigi. Luigi passes to Pikimin, who is too small and gets run over by the ball. He is flat as a pancake as they carry him off, and Wario runs on.
The play continues.
The ball is pushed up to mario who runs past heihachi, who attempts to kick him. mario jumps on crash's head, and Conker zips past, taking the ball with him. it is Conker V daxter. daxter is so small that Conker easily chips it into the top corner. 0-1!
Dante kicks off and runs through every player. he shoots, But DK gets in the way without even lifting a finger. Zelda gets it and runs through. He cheekily taps it at daxter, who stops the ball but is knocked back into the net by the force. Conker pushes past Zelda and taps it in. 0-2! As soon as they kick off Kazooie flys over and takes the ball in his beak. He flys high, dodging shots from robocop. he drops the ball on Daxter, then Conker runs up and easily places it in the net for his hatrick. 0-3! Searching for confidence, the Sony team play poorly, and Dante gets booked for mistaking pikachu for the football. Zidane gets a few shots in, but none beat DK. Eventually the ball comes to the edge of the box. Daxter and Zelda run for it. Zelda gets there first and chips it into the empty net. 0-4! Just then, the halftime whistle blows.
The Sony team come out looking happy. as soon as platy resumes, Dante runs up to DK and pops two caps in his head. Danrte is arrested, and diddy replaces Donkey. Clare tackles Fox, and shoots from way out. Diddy can't reach it as it glides into the top corner. 1-4! Daxter s replaced by chris, so Conker and zelda's shots are blocked. Heihachi picks up Conker and lobs him into the crossbar. conker shouts an insult at Heihavchi as a penalty is given. Apparently, Heihachi doesn't like being called a silver haired git, so Robocop has to hold him back.Conker takes the penalty and just beats Chris 1-5! sony get back on the attack, and immediately Tanner and Jak work their way down the field. jak pulls out a great shot which sails in. 2-5!
Clare shoots again, but it dips and Diddy manages to knock it off for a corner. Zidane takes, and out of nowhere comes Tony Hawk on a skateboard. He uses his speed and easily heads it in. 3 to 5! Mario shoots at Chris, who shoots the ball. It bursts and a new one is thrown on the pitch. Cloud plays it long to zidane, who volleys it home. 4-5! Straight from kick off, Tanner plays a one-two with Jak. Tanner puts it high and past diddy. 5-5!
Then the fulltime whistle blows. Full time. Draw. The nintendo fans boo as Sony leave, and the guy from GTA 3 starts a riot by lobbing a brick at an irish man.
So no winners, no losers.
_________________________
Here is a topic i thought deserved more credit
Author: Stryke
Location: FOG PT
Title: Raging Plumber
The story of Jake La Motta in Raging Bull is a tragic one, but it is nothing compared to the suffering and fall from grace of Mario, once Nintendo's stalwart - The story of "Raging Plumber."
Mario started life in a small town in Italy that no one knows the name of. Possibly because it doesn't exist, who can say? He suffered disfortune from an early age - his brother Luigi was far bigger than him, in all areas. He never had any luck with the ladies, poor Mario. All he could do was study stereotypical Italian-English, the poor lad. He really mastered those "A-'s".His trademark phrase was first pioneered when Luigi beat him to a pulp, believing him to be a very fat cat-burglar. "It's a-me, It's a-Mar...arrrrgh..." wasn't very sucessful at first. He didn't change it until years later, when a chance meeting with Shigsy in Venice Strip Club led to interviews with Nintendo top people for the official position of mascot. At last Mario felt a calling. It all went swimmingly from there, once they taught the fat man to swim. Unfortunately, Mario had never entered puberty, so they improvised the bushy moustache with Shigsy's dressing gown and a sharp pair of scissors.
He had a co-star, the beautiful Princess Daisy. She hated her brace-wearing hero.
"Yes, the man was so uncouth. That belly of his is caused by too many beers. And his false moustauche looks so.....70's!" commented Daisy, from her vastly overpriced mansion.
But that never held back Mario. He even forgave his brother, Luigi, who was at the time working in P.R. The tall, thin ladies man was flown to Japan with all haste. Mario believes these were the crowning years of his work. Even the sets were beautiful.
"Yeah, the sets and graphics were top-notch. Really captured my...wossname...inner beauty. Yeah." commented Luigi.
They loved their new villian, Bowser-Koopa-Whatever. It was of course, Shigsy playing around with some green makeup and a metallic bath, but they never knew. Until now, of course.
"THAT GIT! I *censored. Have a cookie. It'll be a while* with a mincer!" yelled Luigi, on finding out.
Things started to go downhill for the team when Mario's Budhist guru, Sonic, betrayed Mario to work for Sega. Although things appeared normal, the team was beginning to fall apart.
"Well, he used to appear for work all dishevelled. Often he'd have..oh...half a pint. It's his size, you know. He's only 5cm tall, the poor man. It'd go straight to his head. While we're at it, I really hated his sideburns." said Daisy.
One day the confrontation with Sonic came to a head at a conference in Tokoyo, and Sonic beat Mario senseless before flouncing off with his hired fun, Tails.
"I don't think Mario ever really recovered from that. And why didn't I think of making Mario gay? I could have played his lover!" yelled Shigsy, before running off.
By the time of the N64, which Shigsy had made with the remainders of his beloved dressing gown and two medium sized breeze blocks, Mario was deeply hooked on milk.
"We tried to get him off it, onto something normal, like weed, cocaine or even leomade, but he would be shelling out his wages on milk. Milk, every day! No-one could take that." sobbed Luigi, before being consoled by WWF star Stone Cold Steve Austin.
The milk addiction was tearing his life apart, but Mario still starred in Mario 64.
"You that face-strectching thing at the start? That was real. We had to constantly massage his face to keep the milk flowing." whooped Shigsy.
After Mario 64, Mario just disappeared. Luigi searched for him everywhere, but was distracted by Daisy's overtures and spent many a long day frolicking with her in that pink mansion. You know, looking at squirrels, and stuff. Mario was singing famous Bee-Gees hits at a club in Basingstoke.
"He was great. Without that moustache, I didn't recognise him! He downed a pint of milk a night. JeSUS, that man could drink!" commented Jim McbarTender, who didn't wish to be named. Sod him.
So where does this put Mario now? He was thrown in prision for stealing milk from football star David Beckhams house.
"I didn't want to create a scene, but it's MY MILK, and Victoria loves it so on her Kelloggs Special K. You heard it, Special K, now with RED BERRIES! Eat it, the Beckhams do!" said Beckham, before being handed a large wad of cash.
We managed to get an interview with Mario in prision. The man is a state.
" I dont-a know where I went'a wrong. I'm only 47, me whole a-life was ahead of me. What do you mean, I'm short and I have no friends?"
He's finally grown his own moustache. Apparently makes him more attractive to the ladies. He hoped Diasy would be waiting for him. HA!
So Shigsy, in desperation, re-did some classic Mario hits for the GBA, signed Sonic for a GBA appearance, and gave Luigi his first starring role. But we will always remember a rotund plumber, who threw it all away. He also doesn't think red goes well with his eyes. Let's face it, the guy was a muppet.
Hope you enjoyed, just an idea I had in my exam today,
Cheers,
Stryke.
____________________
Also, "VOTE DOUGHNUT MONSTER" is funny, from the moment you read the title....
Okay, please vote me Notable. I hope this was a joy to read, and I apologise that the length of it takes a while to scroll down.
Best wishes
Asher
Page:
Er, Hi. This is gonna be long, so if you can't read fast or can't read at all, i suggest you go down to the replies ( if any ).
If you vote me notable, i will continue to write funny topics, and highlight ones that are neglected unfairly. Here are two of my best ones:
_______________________________
Title: Did You Know?
Location: Sony Forum & FOG Chat.
EA's Virtual Bond will star in many more of his own games.
Roger Moore was the world's first 'virtual' actor.
Snowboarding is no more a sport than synchronised swimming, a dog was heard to say.
Shaun Palmer is so into Chevrolets he's had the name tattoed about his body. And not where you'd think.
Desite it's board on snow simplicity, snowboarding is one of the most expensive sports in the world. At least, if you live in Bahrain.
Messing around with big sticks, swords and anchors can be hazardous to your health.
Another dangerous activity is listening to your radio in the bath, whilst the device is perched perilously on the edge of the tub.
Yet another risky activity involves waking up to Sara Cox's 'hilarious' breakfast show. As above, this involves a radio.
Dropship, Metal Gear 2 and Twisted Metal Black were delayed due to Sept 11th.
All objects in the universe exert an equal but opposite force on each other.
Some girls do and some girls don't.
Doughnut Monster just can't.
Game ratings are getting lower and lower. We must be ready for those new ideas game developers are hiding away.
Awww... come on. what have you got to lose? Money? Bwa Ha Haarrr....
NO, i mean it. We shouldn't have to live in Japan to experience Suzuki Bakuhatsu sans import prices.
French is one of the oldest languages in existence. it was invented way back in 1983 when a man called Patrick gargled the word 'jambon' whilst having his stomach pumped outside a roller disco.
ignore the lesson given by Silent scope 2's heroes. It is a bad idea to storm a base full of machine gun toting maniacs armed with a Sniper Rifle.
Taking a mullet along won't help your case....
....in fact, i'd have to suggest adorning yourself with a tank instead. They are much more fashionable thatn the said haircut and you could always snipe from inside if you have a penchant for inappropriate weaponry.
You can cut a worm in half and both ends will live.
The same can't be said for cats.
Cats are no good at catching fish.
Grenades are.
Natbuc recently went for a dose of gene therapy.
They played Gene Autry's entire collection to him at a very loud
volume.
They now expect his family line to be born without ears.
Despite rumours to the contrary, the WWF doesn't encourage wild pandas to fight each other in tights.
American kids were banned from wearing bart Simpson T-Shirts to school in fear of anti-social behaviour.
Crash bandicoot was invented to compete with SEGA and nintendo's Sonic 'no prisoners' The hedgehog and Mario 'your goin down' brown.
To smuggle something means to transport an illicit item without authorities getting hold of it.
...which makes Smuggler's Run 2's title a little non-sensical. The law is all too aware of what your up to!
Still, can't complain. A game about showing your passport and smiling wouldn't have the same appeal. well, maybe in Japan.
Rabbits, much like fish, feel no pain.
Guns are illegal in Japan.
Jumping on monsters heads to reach higher places was common activity until something we call 'stairs' was invented.
FIFA does not stand for Frogs in Fierce Armour.
But it should.
Wipeout's original advertising campaign, featuring two m**g-faced mooks, was critiscised for it's promotion of drug culture.
A connection between Quake 3 and a trio of rampaging scousers has yet to be established.
To paraphrase an old chinese proverb, 'Don't be afraid of the dark, be afraid of what's in it.'
Other popular Chinese proverbs include 'I am not as green as i am cabbage looking'.
And of course 'Nip down to Asda and get me a crate of stella, cheers mate'
It is better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.
Time Crisis 2 was used to train the Belgian Army, not in warfare but in making cakes.
Silent hill 2's creatures were animated by hand so they didn't end up looking too natural.
The same can be said for me when generous amounts of shandy are donated.
Thurr y'go...y'shee what i mean? A-ha-ha.
There is more than one way to skin a cat. Pro Evo favours the spinning technique, which leaves the intestines untouched.
The word 'Soccer' was invented by Americans after they realised they'd foolishly named there own sport football even though you don't use you feet in it.
The world's first skateboards were scooters with the handles removed.
Thus, a thousand clothing labels were created.
I now have a flamethrower. Ho, ho, ho!
Eden is ssxpro's least favourite perfume. remember that when buying him presents.
running around the eden project with a gun shouting 'follow me' will get you arrested. (Clever gun though)
Most vechiles can be destroyed by a single missile srtike, as Natbuc can testify.
Michael Caine was born Michael Mickelwhite and was the son of a charlady and a fishmonger. Not a lot of people know that.
On the second saturday of every month the SR team gather round to make a sacrifice to old Nick.
If your worried, Old Nick is not the decvil, but the guy who fills up the office vending machine.
The sacrifices are never living, and consist of chesse and crackers.
Thanks for reading (if you did)
Asher
___________________
Title: All Star football
Location: Fog prime Topics.
Here is a nice refreshing change. I, and many other people could argue over N64 or Playstation for days on end. But, instead of fighting it to the death, why don't they have a nice game of football. Except it's NEARLY everything goes. Prepare yourself for a great game of football. Oh, here come the players
Here are the line ups. The player, the game and the position.
Sony:
1. Daxter-Jak & Daxter-Goalie
2. Heihachi-Tekken-Defence
3. Crash-Crash Bandicoot-Defence
4. Robocop-Robocop-Defence
5. Cloud-Final Fantasy 7-Defence
6. Jak-Jak & Daxter-Midfield
7. Tony Hawk-Pro skater-Midfield
8. Tanner-Driver-Midfield
9. Zidane-Final fantasy 9- Attack
10. Clare-Resi Evil-attack
11. Dante-Devil may Cry-Attack
Subs:
12 Chris-resi Evil-Goalie
13. Ken-Street Fighter-Defence
14. Spyro-Spyro 3-Midfield
15. Abe-Oddworld-Midfield
16. Squall-FF8-Attack
Nintendo:
1. Donkey kong-Donkey Kong 64-Goalie
2. Kirby-Kirby 64-defence
3. Kazooie-Banjo Tooie-Defence
4. Pikachu-pokemon-Defence
5. Luigi-luigi's mansion-Defence
6. Banjo-Banjo Tooie-Midfield
7. Pikimin-Pikimin-Midfield
8. Fox McCloud-Starfox-Midfield
9. Mario-What isn't he in?-Midfield
10. Conker-Conker's BFD-Attack
11. Zelda-ZeldaTMM-attack
Subs:
12. Diddy Kong-Diddy racing-Goalie
13. Yoshi-Yoshi 64-Defence
14. Wario-Wario-Midfield
15. Bowser-Mario-Attack
16. james bond-Goldeneye-Attack
The match will be refereed by Sonic
And now it's time for Kick off.
Sony to take
And they're off. Dante passes to Zidane, who takes it round Zelda but is taken down viciously by Conker. A free kick is given, as conker walks away swearing. Dante hits it to Clare in the box. Clare shoots, but the ball rebounds straight off Donkey Kong and rolls away to luigi. Luigi passes to Pikimin, who is too small and gets run over by the ball. He is flat as a pancake as they carry him off, and Wario runs on.
The play continues.
The ball is pushed up to mario who runs past heihachi, who attempts to kick him. mario jumps on crash's head, and Conker zips past, taking the ball with him. it is Conker V daxter. daxter is so small that Conker easily chips it into the top corner. 0-1!
Dante kicks off and runs through every player. he shoots, But DK gets in the way without even lifting a finger. Zelda gets it and runs through. He cheekily taps it at daxter, who stops the ball but is knocked back into the net by the force. Conker pushes past Zelda and taps it in. 0-2! As soon as they kick off Kazooie flys over and takes the ball in his beak. He flys high, dodging shots from robocop. he drops the ball on Daxter, then Conker runs up and easily places it in the net for his hatrick. 0-3! Searching for confidence, the Sony team play poorly, and Dante gets booked for mistaking pikachu for the football. Zidane gets a few shots in, but none beat DK. Eventually the ball comes to the edge of the box. Daxter and Zelda run for it. Zelda gets there first and chips it into the empty net. 0-4! Just then, the halftime whistle blows.
The Sony team come out looking happy. as soon as platy resumes, Dante runs up to DK and pops two caps in his head. Danrte is arrested, and diddy replaces Donkey. Clare tackles Fox, and shoots from way out. Diddy can't reach it as it glides into the top corner. 1-4! Daxter s replaced by chris, so Conker and zelda's shots are blocked. Heihachi picks up Conker and lobs him into the crossbar. conker shouts an insult at Heihavchi as a penalty is given. Apparently, Heihachi doesn't like being called a silver haired git, so Robocop has to hold him back.Conker takes the penalty and just beats Chris 1-5! sony get back on the attack, and immediately Tanner and Jak work their way down the field. jak pulls out a great shot which sails in. 2-5!
Clare shoots again, but it dips and Diddy manages to knock it off for a corner. Zidane takes, and out of nowhere comes Tony Hawk on a skateboard. He uses his speed and easily heads it in. 3 to 5! Mario shoots at Chris, who shoots the ball. It bursts and a new one is thrown on the pitch. Cloud plays it long to zidane, who volleys it home. 4-5! Straight from kick off, Tanner plays a one-two with Jak. Tanner puts it high and past diddy. 5-5!
Then the fulltime whistle blows. Full time. Draw. The nintendo fans boo as Sony leave, and the guy from GTA 3 starts a riot by lobbing a brick at an irish man.
So no winners, no losers.
_________________________
Here is a topic i thought deserved more credit
Author: Stryke
Location: FOG PT
Title: Raging Plumber
The story of Jake La Motta in Raging Bull is a tragic one, but it is nothing compared to the suffering and fall from grace of Mario, once Nintendo's stalwart - The story of "Raging Plumber."
Mario started life in a small town in Italy that no one knows the name of. Possibly because it doesn't exist, who can say? He suffered disfortune from an early age - his brother Luigi was far bigger than him, in all areas. He never had any luck with the ladies, poor Mario. All he could do was study stereotypical Italian-English, the poor lad. He really mastered those "A-'s".His trademark phrase was first pioneered when Luigi beat him to a pulp, believing him to be a very fat cat-burglar. "It's a-me, It's a-Mar...arrrrgh..." wasn't very sucessful at first. He didn't change it until years later, when a chance meeting with Shigsy in Venice Strip Club led to interviews with Nintendo top people for the official position of mascot. At last Mario felt a calling. It all went swimmingly from there, once they taught the fat man to swim. Unfortunately, Mario had never entered puberty, so they improvised the bushy moustache with Shigsy's dressing gown and a sharp pair of scissors.
He had a co-star, the beautiful Princess Daisy. She hated her brace-wearing hero.
"Yes, the man was so uncouth. That belly of his is caused by too many beers. And his false moustauche looks so.....70's!" commented Daisy, from her vastly overpriced mansion.
But that never held back Mario. He even forgave his brother, Luigi, who was at the time working in P.R. The tall, thin ladies man was flown to Japan with all haste. Mario believes these were the crowning years of his work. Even the sets were beautiful.
"Yeah, the sets and graphics were top-notch. Really captured my...wossname...inner beauty. Yeah." commented Luigi.
They loved their new villian, Bowser-Koopa-Whatever. It was of course, Shigsy playing around with some green makeup and a metallic bath, but they never knew. Until now, of course.
"THAT GIT! I *censored. Have a cookie. It'll be a while* with a mincer!" yelled Luigi, on finding out.
Things started to go downhill for the team when Mario's Budhist guru, Sonic, betrayed Mario to work for Sega. Although things appeared normal, the team was beginning to fall apart.
"Well, he used to appear for work all dishevelled. Often he'd have..oh...half a pint. It's his size, you know. He's only 5cm tall, the poor man. It'd go straight to his head. While we're at it, I really hated his sideburns." said Daisy.
One day the confrontation with Sonic came to a head at a conference in Tokoyo, and Sonic beat Mario senseless before flouncing off with his hired fun, Tails.
"I don't think Mario ever really recovered from that. And why didn't I think of making Mario gay? I could have played his lover!" yelled Shigsy, before running off.
By the time of the N64, which Shigsy had made with the remainders of his beloved dressing gown and two medium sized breeze blocks, Mario was deeply hooked on milk.
"We tried to get him off it, onto something normal, like weed, cocaine or even leomade, but he would be shelling out his wages on milk. Milk, every day! No-one could take that." sobbed Luigi, before being consoled by WWF star Stone Cold Steve Austin.
The milk addiction was tearing his life apart, but Mario still starred in Mario 64.
"You that face-strectching thing at the start? That was real. We had to constantly massage his face to keep the milk flowing." whooped Shigsy.
After Mario 64, Mario just disappeared. Luigi searched for him everywhere, but was distracted by Daisy's overtures and spent many a long day frolicking with her in that pink mansion. You know, looking at squirrels, and stuff. Mario was singing famous Bee-Gees hits at a club in Basingstoke.
"He was great. Without that moustache, I didn't recognise him! He downed a pint of milk a night. JeSUS, that man could drink!" commented Jim McbarTender, who didn't wish to be named. Sod him.
So where does this put Mario now? He was thrown in prision for stealing milk from football star David Beckhams house.
"I didn't want to create a scene, but it's MY MILK, and Victoria loves it so on her Kelloggs Special K. You heard it, Special K, now with RED BERRIES! Eat it, the Beckhams do!" said Beckham, before being handed a large wad of cash.
We managed to get an interview with Mario in prision. The man is a state.
" I dont-a know where I went'a wrong. I'm only 47, me whole a-life was ahead of me. What do you mean, I'm short and I have no friends?"
He's finally grown his own moustache. Apparently makes him more attractive to the ladies. He hoped Diasy would be waiting for him. HA!
So Shigsy, in desperation, re-did some classic Mario hits for the GBA, signed Sonic for a GBA appearance, and gave Luigi his first starring role. But we will always remember a rotund plumber, who threw it all away. He also doesn't think red goes well with his eyes. Let's face it, the guy was a muppet.
Hope you enjoyed, just an idea I had in my exam today,
Cheers,
Stryke.
____________________
Also, "VOTE DOUGHNUT MONSTER" is funny, from the moment you read the title....
Okay, please vote me Notable. I hope this was a joy to read, and I apologise that the length of it takes a while to scroll down.
Best wishes
Asher
If you vote me notable, i will continue to write funny topics, and highlight ones that are neglected unfairly. Here are two of my best ones:
_______________________________
Title: Did You Know?
Location: Sony Forum & FOG Chat.
EA's Virtual Bond will star in many more of his own games.
Roger Moore was the world's first 'virtual' actor.
Snowboarding is no more a sport than synchronised swimming, a dog was heard to say.
Shaun Palmer is so into Chevrolets he's had the name tattoed about his body. And not where you'd think.
Desite it's board on snow simplicity, snowboarding is one of the most expensive sports in the world. At least, if you live in Bahrain.
Messing around with big sticks, swords and anchors can be hazardous to your health.
Another dangerous activity is listening to your radio in the bath, whilst the device is perched perilously on the edge of the tub.
Yet another risky activity involves waking up to Sara Cox's 'hilarious' breakfast show. As above, this involves a radio.
Dropship, Metal Gear 2 and Twisted Metal Black were delayed due to Sept 11th.
All objects in the universe exert an equal but opposite force on each other.
Some girls do and some girls don't.
Doughnut Monster just can't.
Game ratings are getting lower and lower. We must be ready for those new ideas game developers are hiding away.
Awww... come on. what have you got to lose? Money? Bwa Ha Haarrr....
NO, i mean it. We shouldn't have to live in Japan to experience Suzuki Bakuhatsu sans import prices.
French is one of the oldest languages in existence. it was invented way back in 1983 when a man called Patrick gargled the word 'jambon' whilst having his stomach pumped outside a roller disco.
ignore the lesson given by Silent scope 2's heroes. It is a bad idea to storm a base full of machine gun toting maniacs armed with a Sniper Rifle.
Taking a mullet along won't help your case....
....in fact, i'd have to suggest adorning yourself with a tank instead. They are much more fashionable thatn the said haircut and you could always snipe from inside if you have a penchant for inappropriate weaponry.
You can cut a worm in half and both ends will live.
The same can't be said for cats.
Cats are no good at catching fish.
Grenades are.
Natbuc recently went for a dose of gene therapy.
They played Gene Autry's entire collection to him at a very loud
volume.
They now expect his family line to be born without ears.
Despite rumours to the contrary, the WWF doesn't encourage wild pandas to fight each other in tights.
American kids were banned from wearing bart Simpson T-Shirts to school in fear of anti-social behaviour.
Crash bandicoot was invented to compete with SEGA and nintendo's Sonic 'no prisoners' The hedgehog and Mario 'your goin down' brown.
To smuggle something means to transport an illicit item without authorities getting hold of it.
...which makes Smuggler's Run 2's title a little non-sensical. The law is all too aware of what your up to!
Still, can't complain. A game about showing your passport and smiling wouldn't have the same appeal. well, maybe in Japan.
Rabbits, much like fish, feel no pain.
Guns are illegal in Japan.
Jumping on monsters heads to reach higher places was common activity until something we call 'stairs' was invented.
FIFA does not stand for Frogs in Fierce Armour.
But it should.
Wipeout's original advertising campaign, featuring two m**g-faced mooks, was critiscised for it's promotion of drug culture.
A connection between Quake 3 and a trio of rampaging scousers has yet to be established.
To paraphrase an old chinese proverb, 'Don't be afraid of the dark, be afraid of what's in it.'
Other popular Chinese proverbs include 'I am not as green as i am cabbage looking'.
And of course 'Nip down to Asda and get me a crate of stella, cheers mate'
It is better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.
Time Crisis 2 was used to train the Belgian Army, not in warfare but in making cakes.
Silent hill 2's creatures were animated by hand so they didn't end up looking too natural.
The same can be said for me when generous amounts of shandy are donated.
There is more than one way to skin a cat. Pro Evo favours the spinning technique, which leaves the intestines untouched.
The word 'Soccer' was invented by Americans after they realised they'd foolishly named there own sport football even though you don't use you feet in it.
The world's first skateboards were scooters with the handles removed.
Thus, a thousand clothing labels were created.
I now have a flamethrower. Ho, ho, ho!
Eden is ssxpro's least favourite perfume. remember that when buying him presents.
running around the eden project with a gun shouting 'follow me' will get you arrested. (Clever gun though)
Most vechiles can be destroyed by a single missile srtike, as Natbuc can testify.
Michael Caine was born Michael Mickelwhite and was the son of a charlady and a fishmonger. Not a lot of people know that.
On the second saturday of every month the SR team gather round to make a sacrifice to old Nick.
If your worried, Old Nick is not the decvil, but the guy who fills up the office vending machine.
The sacrifices are never living, and consist of chesse and crackers.
Thanks for reading (if you did)
Asher
___________________
Title: All Star football
Location: Fog prime Topics.
Here is a nice refreshing change. I, and many other people could argue over N64 or Playstation for days on end. But, instead of fighting it to the death, why don't they have a nice game of football. Except it's NEARLY everything goes. Prepare yourself for a great game of football. Oh, here come the players
Here are the line ups. The player, the game and the position.
Sony:
1. Daxter-Jak & Daxter-Goalie
2. Heihachi-Tekken-Defence
3. Crash-Crash Bandicoot-Defence
4. Robocop-Robocop-Defence
5. Cloud-Final Fantasy 7-Defence
6. Jak-Jak & Daxter-Midfield
7. Tony Hawk-Pro skater-Midfield
8. Tanner-Driver-Midfield
9. Zidane-Final fantasy 9- Attack
10. Clare-Resi Evil-attack
11. Dante-Devil may Cry-Attack
Subs:
12 Chris-resi Evil-Goalie
13. Ken-Street Fighter-Defence
14. Spyro-Spyro 3-Midfield
15. Abe-Oddworld-Midfield
16. Squall-FF8-Attack
Nintendo:
1. Donkey kong-Donkey Kong 64-Goalie
2. Kirby-Kirby 64-defence
3. Kazooie-Banjo Tooie-Defence
4. Pikachu-pokemon-Defence
5. Luigi-luigi's mansion-Defence
6. Banjo-Banjo Tooie-Midfield
7. Pikimin-Pikimin-Midfield
8. Fox McCloud-Starfox-Midfield
9. Mario-What isn't he in?-Midfield
10. Conker-Conker's BFD-Attack
11. Zelda-ZeldaTMM-attack
Subs:
12. Diddy Kong-Diddy racing-Goalie
13. Yoshi-Yoshi 64-Defence
14. Wario-Wario-Midfield
15. Bowser-Mario-Attack
16. james bond-Goldeneye-Attack
The match will be refereed by Sonic
And now it's time for Kick off.
Sony to take
And they're off. Dante passes to Zidane, who takes it round Zelda but is taken down viciously by Conker. A free kick is given, as conker walks away swearing. Dante hits it to Clare in the box. Clare shoots, but the ball rebounds straight off Donkey Kong and rolls away to luigi. Luigi passes to Pikimin, who is too small and gets run over by the ball. He is flat as a pancake as they carry him off, and Wario runs on.
The play continues.
The ball is pushed up to mario who runs past heihachi, who attempts to kick him. mario jumps on crash's head, and Conker zips past, taking the ball with him. it is Conker V daxter. daxter is so small that Conker easily chips it into the top corner. 0-1!
Dante kicks off and runs through every player. he shoots, But DK gets in the way without even lifting a finger. Zelda gets it and runs through. He cheekily taps it at daxter, who stops the ball but is knocked back into the net by the force. Conker pushes past Zelda and taps it in. 0-2! As soon as they kick off Kazooie flys over and takes the ball in his beak. He flys high, dodging shots from robocop. he drops the ball on Daxter, then Conker runs up and easily places it in the net for his hatrick. 0-3! Searching for confidence, the Sony team play poorly, and Dante gets booked for mistaking pikachu for the football. Zidane gets a few shots in, but none beat DK. Eventually the ball comes to the edge of the box. Daxter and Zelda run for it. Zelda gets there first and chips it into the empty net. 0-4! Just then, the halftime whistle blows.
The Sony team come out looking happy. as soon as platy resumes, Dante runs up to DK and pops two caps in his head. Danrte is arrested, and diddy replaces Donkey. Clare tackles Fox, and shoots from way out. Diddy can't reach it as it glides into the top corner. 1-4! Daxter s replaced by chris, so Conker and zelda's shots are blocked. Heihachi picks up Conker and lobs him into the crossbar. conker shouts an insult at Heihavchi as a penalty is given. Apparently, Heihachi doesn't like being called a silver haired git, so Robocop has to hold him back.Conker takes the penalty and just beats Chris 1-5! sony get back on the attack, and immediately Tanner and Jak work their way down the field. jak pulls out a great shot which sails in. 2-5!
Clare shoots again, but it dips and Diddy manages to knock it off for a corner. Zidane takes, and out of nowhere comes Tony Hawk on a skateboard. He uses his speed and easily heads it in. 3 to 5! Mario shoots at Chris, who shoots the ball. It bursts and a new one is thrown on the pitch. Cloud plays it long to zidane, who volleys it home. 4-5! Straight from kick off, Tanner plays a one-two with Jak. Tanner puts it high and past diddy. 5-5!
Then the fulltime whistle blows. Full time. Draw. The nintendo fans boo as Sony leave, and the guy from GTA 3 starts a riot by lobbing a brick at an irish man.
So no winners, no losers.
_________________________
Here is a topic i thought deserved more credit
Author: Stryke
Location: FOG PT
Title: Raging Plumber
The story of Jake La Motta in Raging Bull is a tragic one, but it is nothing compared to the suffering and fall from grace of Mario, once Nintendo's stalwart - The story of "Raging Plumber."
Mario started life in a small town in Italy that no one knows the name of. Possibly because it doesn't exist, who can say? He suffered disfortune from an early age - his brother Luigi was far bigger than him, in all areas. He never had any luck with the ladies, poor Mario. All he could do was study stereotypical Italian-English, the poor lad. He really mastered those "A-'s".His trademark phrase was first pioneered when Luigi beat him to a pulp, believing him to be a very fat cat-burglar. "It's a-me, It's a-Mar...arrrrgh..." wasn't very sucessful at first. He didn't change it until years later, when a chance meeting with Shigsy in Venice Strip Club led to interviews with Nintendo top people for the official position of mascot. At last Mario felt a calling. It all went swimmingly from there, once they taught the fat man to swim. Unfortunately, Mario had never entered puberty, so they improvised the bushy moustache with Shigsy's dressing gown and a sharp pair of scissors.
He had a co-star, the beautiful Princess Daisy. She hated her brace-wearing hero.
"Yes, the man was so uncouth. That belly of his is caused by too many beers. And his false moustauche looks so.....70's!" commented Daisy, from her vastly overpriced mansion.
But that never held back Mario. He even forgave his brother, Luigi, who was at the time working in P.R. The tall, thin ladies man was flown to Japan with all haste. Mario believes these were the crowning years of his work. Even the sets were beautiful.
"Yeah, the sets and graphics were top-notch. Really captured my...wossname...inner beauty. Yeah." commented Luigi.
They loved their new villian, Bowser-Koopa-Whatever. It was of course, Shigsy playing around with some green makeup and a metallic bath, but they never knew. Until now, of course.
"THAT GIT! I *censored. Have a cookie. It'll be a while* with a mincer!" yelled Luigi, on finding out.
Things started to go downhill for the team when Mario's Budhist guru, Sonic, betrayed Mario to work for Sega. Although things appeared normal, the team was beginning to fall apart.
"Well, he used to appear for work all dishevelled. Often he'd have..oh...half a pint. It's his size, you know. He's only 5cm tall, the poor man. It'd go straight to his head. While we're at it, I really hated his sideburns." said Daisy.
One day the confrontation with Sonic came to a head at a conference in Tokoyo, and Sonic beat Mario senseless before flouncing off with his hired fun, Tails.
"I don't think Mario ever really recovered from that. And why didn't I think of making Mario gay? I could have played his lover!" yelled Shigsy, before running off.
By the time of the N64, which Shigsy had made with the remainders of his beloved dressing gown and two medium sized breeze blocks, Mario was deeply hooked on milk.
"We tried to get him off it, onto something normal, like weed, cocaine or even leomade, but he would be shelling out his wages on milk. Milk, every day! No-one could take that." sobbed Luigi, before being consoled by WWF star Stone Cold Steve Austin.
The milk addiction was tearing his life apart, but Mario still starred in Mario 64.
"You that face-strectching thing at the start? That was real. We had to constantly massage his face to keep the milk flowing." whooped Shigsy.
After Mario 64, Mario just disappeared. Luigi searched for him everywhere, but was distracted by Daisy's overtures and spent many a long day frolicking with her in that pink mansion. You know, looking at squirrels, and stuff. Mario was singing famous Bee-Gees hits at a club in Basingstoke.
"He was great. Without that moustache, I didn't recognise him! He downed a pint of milk a night. JeSUS, that man could drink!" commented Jim McbarTender, who didn't wish to be named. Sod him.
So where does this put Mario now? He was thrown in prision for stealing milk from football star David Beckhams house.
"I didn't want to create a scene, but it's MY MILK, and Victoria loves it so on her Kelloggs Special K. You heard it, Special K, now with RED BERRIES! Eat it, the Beckhams do!" said Beckham, before being handed a large wad of cash.
We managed to get an interview with Mario in prision. The man is a state.
" I dont-a know where I went'a wrong. I'm only 47, me whole a-life was ahead of me. What do you mean, I'm short and I have no friends?"
He's finally grown his own moustache. Apparently makes him more attractive to the ladies. He hoped Diasy would be waiting for him. HA!
So Shigsy, in desperation, re-did some classic Mario hits for the GBA, signed Sonic for a GBA appearance, and gave Luigi his first starring role. But we will always remember a rotund plumber, who threw it all away. He also doesn't think red goes well with his eyes. Let's face it, the guy was a muppet.
Hope you enjoyed, just an idea I had in my exam today,
Cheers,
Stryke.
____________________
Also, "VOTE DOUGHNUT MONSTER" is funny, from the moment you read the title....
Okay, please vote me Notable. I hope this was a joy to read, and I apologise that the length of it takes a while to scroll down.
Best wishes
Asher
You do know that everyone's planning to give campaigners Pinkie votes this time round...
You've done a few decent posts here and there, but so has EVERYONE in the forums.
If you're really a notable then campaigning isn't necessary and election campaigns generally get on everyone's nerves.
So no more campaigning unless you want my Pinkie vote.
Thank you. :-)
You've done a few decent posts here and there, but so has EVERYONE in the forums.
If you're really a notable then campaigning isn't necessary and election campaigns generally get on everyone's nerves.
So no more campaigning unless you want my Pinkie vote.
Thank you. :-)
Awww... All that effort
Good grief, that cured my insomnia.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Asher D wrote:
> Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Belive me thats a positive effect on my life, i havent had a decent nights kip in yonks.
> Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Belive me thats a positive effect on my life, i havent had a decent nights kip in yonks.
Asher D wrote:
> Awww... All that effort
Effort... I hardly call copy and paste effort mate. Okay, maybe it took you a while to write the posts at the time, but pasting them into a post and writing about a paragraph extra is hardly effort.
> Awww... All that effort
Effort... I hardly call copy and paste effort mate. Okay, maybe it took you a while to write the posts at the time, but pasting them into a post and writing about a paragraph extra is hardly effort.
Hey, MJ, haven't seen you since you were Gu@3.... Summin' begginig with a G
Asher D Come to the Quiz Forum they are asking FF Vll Questions and I think you would know them.
What, the one you started ;)
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