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my morning began at 9:00 am where i was taken in balcked-out limousine to microsoft's main play-testing centre. Where i was to be a guinea pig in their latest testing their newest PC CD-Romgame Microsoft fight simulator. I was placed in a room with another couple of equally worried student and left to stir for a while with just a copy of Microsofts internal newsletter to keep the three of us amused. After fighting for a while over this pointless piece of drivel/propaganda a man in awhite coat came into the room and beckoned us out of our 'cell', explaianing that we were to be briefed about MSs latest masterpiece.
We wnadered down the hall for a while led by our somewhat under-nourished looking guide eventually arriving at a lecture theatre we were bombarded by a stream of useless knowledge about the game we had been slected to play test. From it's origins as a spelling mistake on a schedule which was meant to read 'Microsoft Flight Simulator' to it's current realisation and apparently, the most realistic game engine that a beat-em-up has had to date. Our host detected our boredom and restlesness and evtually led us to another room where three state of the art PCs where up and running said 'Fight Simulator'
We tested tested and tested the game to death. I managed to make the game crash a startling 103 times in half-an-hour, which my supervisor noted was an excellent performance on behalf of the software...'well it IS Microsoft' i thought to myself.
Eventually we were sat down with our supervisor who was to fill in a report detaling our reaction to the session we just spent playing the game. eEverything was straightforward until my supervisor asked me what my thoughts on the game were. " Well, i began, I mean for a fight simulator it does seem to have one major omission..." "What do you mean?" replied my supervisor "Well, it won't actually let you hit your opponent?". My supervisor looked puzzled for a moment before stating. "Son, this is Microsoft, we can't be seen to be promoting violence, i mean, you wouldn't want to be able to crash your plane in Flight Simulator now would you?"
Now it was my turn to be puzzled..."But surely that is the whole point of a beat 'em up?". "We at Microsoft happen to think that the approach we have taken to this genre is both original and able to appeal to the greatest possible audience. Mothers can let their children play this game wothout the fear that it is corrupting their minds".
By now i was getting more than a little bit frustarted at obviously not getting my point across. "But it's not the most fun in the wrold to play is it, I mean it' all well and good jumping and running around the screen trying out the physics engine...but it just took me 26 hours of game time waiting for my opponent to grow old and die so i could be proclaimed winner only to be struck down by a random heart-attack first". "See we told you it was realistic".
"Oh, i give up" I got up to leave but was coshed over the back of the head and awoke slumped over my doorstep with a finished copy of the game in my hand. They hadn't even paid me...however I had a feeling this was not the last I would hear from the mighty Microsoft...
We wnadered down the hall for a while led by our somewhat under-nourished looking guide eventually arriving at a lecture theatre we were bombarded by a stream of useless knowledge about the game we had been slected to play test. From it's origins as a spelling mistake on a schedule which was meant to read 'Microsoft Flight Simulator' to it's current realisation and apparently, the most realistic game engine that a beat-em-up has had to date. Our host detected our boredom and restlesness and evtually led us to another room where three state of the art PCs where up and running said 'Fight Simulator'
We tested tested and tested the game to death. I managed to make the game crash a startling 103 times in half-an-hour, which my supervisor noted was an excellent performance on behalf of the software...'well it IS Microsoft' i thought to myself.
Eventually we were sat down with our supervisor who was to fill in a report detaling our reaction to the session we just spent playing the game. eEverything was straightforward until my supervisor asked me what my thoughts on the game were. " Well, i began, I mean for a fight simulator it does seem to have one major omission..." "What do you mean?" replied my supervisor "Well, it won't actually let you hit your opponent?". My supervisor looked puzzled for a moment before stating. "Son, this is Microsoft, we can't be seen to be promoting violence, i mean, you wouldn't want to be able to crash your plane in Flight Simulator now would you?"
Now it was my turn to be puzzled..."But surely that is the whole point of a beat 'em up?". "We at Microsoft happen to think that the approach we have taken to this genre is both original and able to appeal to the greatest possible audience. Mothers can let their children play this game wothout the fear that it is corrupting their minds".
By now i was getting more than a little bit frustarted at obviously not getting my point across. "But it's not the most fun in the wrold to play is it, I mean it' all well and good jumping and running around the screen trying out the physics engine...but it just took me 26 hours of game time waiting for my opponent to grow old and die so i could be proclaimed winner only to be struck down by a random heart-attack first". "See we told you it was realistic".
"Oh, i give up" I got up to leave but was coshed over the back of the head and awoke slumped over my doorstep with a finished copy of the game in my hand. They hadn't even paid me...however I had a feeling this was not the last I would hear from the mighty Microsoft...
Hey, i live my forum life like a newspaper journalist...if you have nothing interesting to write...make some scandalous bull**** up ;)
i highly doubt there is any truth in this but anyway well done on the imagination side...
I didn't lie, I just ommitted certain truths....
I didn't lie, I just ommitted certain truths....
Hehe, nice post Cong :-D
Lol at "Well it IS Microsoft" :-D :-D
Lol at "Well it IS Microsoft" :-D :-D
my morning began at 9:00 am where i was taken in balcked-out limousine to microsoft's main play-testing centre. Where i was to be a guinea pig in their latest testing their newest PC CD-Romgame Microsoft fight simulator. I was placed in a room with another couple of equally worried student and left to stir for a while with just a copy of Microsofts internal newsletter to keep the three of us amused. After fighting for a while over this pointless piece of drivel/propaganda a man in awhite coat came into the room and beckoned us out of our 'cell', explaianing that we were to be briefed about MSs latest masterpiece.
We wnadered down the hall for a while led by our somewhat under-nourished looking guide eventually arriving at a lecture theatre we were bombarded by a stream of useless knowledge about the game we had been slected to play test. From it's origins as a spelling mistake on a schedule which was meant to read 'Microsoft Flight Simulator' to it's current realisation and apparently, the most realistic game engine that a beat-em-up has had to date. Our host detected our boredom and restlesness and evtually led us to another room where three state of the art PCs where up and running said 'Fight Simulator'
We tested tested and tested the game to death. I managed to make the game crash a startling 103 times in half-an-hour, which my supervisor noted was an excellent performance on behalf of the software...'well it IS Microsoft' i thought to myself.
Eventually we were sat down with our supervisor who was to fill in a report detaling our reaction to the session we just spent playing the game. eEverything was straightforward until my supervisor asked me what my thoughts on the game were. " Well, i began, I mean for a fight simulator it does seem to have one major omission..." "What do you mean?" replied my supervisor "Well, it won't actually let you hit your opponent?". My supervisor looked puzzled for a moment before stating. "Son, this is Microsoft, we can't be seen to be promoting violence, i mean, you wouldn't want to be able to crash your plane in Flight Simulator now would you?"
Now it was my turn to be puzzled..."But surely that is the whole point of a beat 'em up?". "We at Microsoft happen to think that the approach we have taken to this genre is both original and able to appeal to the greatest possible audience. Mothers can let their children play this game wothout the fear that it is corrupting their minds".
By now i was getting more than a little bit frustarted at obviously not getting my point across. "But it's not the most fun in the wrold to play is it, I mean it' all well and good jumping and running around the screen trying out the physics engine...but it just took me 26 hours of game time waiting for my opponent to grow old and die so i could be proclaimed winner only to be struck down by a random heart-attack first". "See we told you it was realistic".
"Oh, i give up" I got up to leave but was coshed over the back of the head and awoke slumped over my doorstep with a finished copy of the game in my hand. They hadn't even paid me...however I had a feeling this was not the last I would hear from the mighty Microsoft...
We wnadered down the hall for a while led by our somewhat under-nourished looking guide eventually arriving at a lecture theatre we were bombarded by a stream of useless knowledge about the game we had been slected to play test. From it's origins as a spelling mistake on a schedule which was meant to read 'Microsoft Flight Simulator' to it's current realisation and apparently, the most realistic game engine that a beat-em-up has had to date. Our host detected our boredom and restlesness and evtually led us to another room where three state of the art PCs where up and running said 'Fight Simulator'
We tested tested and tested the game to death. I managed to make the game crash a startling 103 times in half-an-hour, which my supervisor noted was an excellent performance on behalf of the software...'well it IS Microsoft' i thought to myself.
Eventually we were sat down with our supervisor who was to fill in a report detaling our reaction to the session we just spent playing the game. eEverything was straightforward until my supervisor asked me what my thoughts on the game were. " Well, i began, I mean for a fight simulator it does seem to have one major omission..." "What do you mean?" replied my supervisor "Well, it won't actually let you hit your opponent?". My supervisor looked puzzled for a moment before stating. "Son, this is Microsoft, we can't be seen to be promoting violence, i mean, you wouldn't want to be able to crash your plane in Flight Simulator now would you?"
Now it was my turn to be puzzled..."But surely that is the whole point of a beat 'em up?". "We at Microsoft happen to think that the approach we have taken to this genre is both original and able to appeal to the greatest possible audience. Mothers can let their children play this game wothout the fear that it is corrupting their minds".
By now i was getting more than a little bit frustarted at obviously not getting my point across. "But it's not the most fun in the wrold to play is it, I mean it' all well and good jumping and running around the screen trying out the physics engine...but it just took me 26 hours of game time waiting for my opponent to grow old and die so i could be proclaimed winner only to be struck down by a random heart-attack first". "See we told you it was realistic".
"Oh, i give up" I got up to leave but was coshed over the back of the head and awoke slumped over my doorstep with a finished copy of the game in my hand. They hadn't even paid me...however I had a feeling this was not the last I would hear from the mighty Microsoft...