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- BEGIN TRANSMISSION -
(An extract from Metroid Clothing Magazine spring/summer 2103)
For the woman who has everything – including a pony, a Ferrari and even her own testicles – why not “shell” out on the all-new and improved Sophisticated Suit, brought to you by the excellent clothing manufacturer Samus Slein.
Samus Slein have been making impressive and fashionable metal suits for many years now, but one thing that we’ve never seen – despite popular demand – is a suit specifically designed for the female – or male, if you’re into cross-dressing – millionaire who simply must stay looking her best…… even when battling hordes of space pirates and evil alien beings. Well for a limited time only, you can now order one of these fantastic Sophisticated Suits.
The suit is made from reinforced titanium, with “air-holes” each measuring 5cm in diameter so that the user can “breathe”. These holes are located in the following places:
- 1 is situated 2cm directly below the nose.
- 2 are situated 15cm below the chin; spread 18cm apart (horizontally) on the chest.
- 1 is situated 20cm directly below the belly-button.
(These specifications may be altered if suits are made to fit)
Each air-hole can be opened or closed with a push of a button, allowing both protection and comfort when (and where) necessary. If you are having your suit made to fit, it is advised that you leave a gap of approximately 50mm between the suit and your body around each air-hole in order to avoid unwanted injuries. It is also advised that you do not have appendages (foreign or otherwise) poking out of the air-holes when the air-hole button lock is not activated.
The Sophisticated Suit can also be fitted with a number of optional extras, at additional cost.
Arm-mounted Blaster:
This handy piece of kit can be set to fire a lethal blast of ice, fire or photon energy, along with lipstick torpedoes. It has a range of 1000m, along with a retractable handbag and a blow-dry setting.
Protective Gloves:
Instead of settling for the suit’s standard metal gloves, why not splash out on the glove upgrade. Made of extra thick titanium to prevent broken nails, these gloves come complete with a built-in nail file, nail varnish brush and varnish remover and a vibrator setting.
Morphball:
Tired of the Trans-Galactic bus being late AGAIN? Fear not, because the Sophisticated Suit’s Morphball upgrade allows you and your suit to curl up into a tiny ball, capable of travelling at speeds of up to 1, 500, 000km/h. And as an added bonus, the Morphball is also scientifically proven to provide excellent exercise for the lower back and pelvic regions… saving you a truckload of money in Robo-Geri Yoga DVD’s.
X-Ray Visor:
Every woman – and a worrying number of men – knows that to look your best, you need to have an inch of make-up plastered across your face. It’s just common sense. Luckily, the Sophisticated Suit can be fitted with the special Visor upgrade, which protects your face and makeup from harmful blows, e.g. kicks, punches, slaps, stabs and maimings. This upgrade is also fitted with an X-Ray mode…… Got your eye on that nice looking bloke over in the corner? Too scared that instead of leading to a night of full-on passion, speaking to him may result in your public / pubic humiliation? Fear not, girl! X-ray mode will allow you to view that bloke’s package from the safety of your own Vodka, and make use of the air-hole situated 20cm directly below your belly button and your glove’s vibration setting. And to top it all off, the X-ray visor can even apply your make-up for you, leaving you free to do other important things, e.g. watching Home and Away or reading about Jade the Hutt from Big Brother 2103.
Boots:
The Sophisticated Suit comes with its’ own pair of durable boots, but to look good, WOMEN NEED HIGH HEELS. Fear not! Splash out on the Boot upgrade and with a push of a button, you’ll activate high heel mode. Get those heads turning, girl! (Samus Slein can not be held responsible for wearers being catapulted into ceilings and / or orbit)
The Sophisticated Suit costs €1, 999, 999. 99 – which includes p&p and a full warranty - with additional cost added for any extras purchased. To order your suit or to check our prices, phone Samus Slein directly at 0500-SAMUS or log on to www.samusslein.com/sophisticated.
Or alternatively, why not visit one of our 3 Metroid Clothing shops?
Basildon VIII Superstore,
Alien Massacre Park,
Basildon VIII,
Mecha Essex.
(1 mile from the Chozo Ruins)
Phone – 01268-BASILVIII
E-mail – [email protected]
Neo-Bristol store,
351, 000 Gloucester Sector,
Neo Bristol
(1 ½ light years from the Coliseum)
Phone – 0117-NEOBRISTOL
E-mail – [email protected]
Egham Quadrant store,
168, 000 High Street,
Egham Quadrant,
Surrey IV.
(near the Phazon Mines)
Phone – 01784-EGHAMQUAD
E-mail – [email protected]
We hope to here from you very soon.
- END TRANSMISSION -
(An extract from Metroid Clothing Magazine spring/summer 2103)
For the woman who has everything – including a pony, a Ferrari and even her own testicles – why not “shell” out on the all-new and improved Sophisticated Suit, brought to you by the excellent clothing manufacturer Samus Slein.
Samus Slein have been making impressive and fashionable metal suits for many years now, but one thing that we’ve never seen – despite popular demand – is a suit specifically designed for the female – or male, if you’re into cross-dressing – millionaire who simply must stay looking her best…… even when battling hordes of space pirates and evil alien beings. Well for a limited time only, you can now order one of these fantastic Sophisticated Suits.
The suit is made from reinforced titanium, with “air-holes” each measuring 5cm in diameter so that the user can “breathe”. These holes are located in the following places:
- 1 is situated 2cm directly below the nose.
- 2 are situated 15cm below the chin; spread 18cm apart (horizontally) on the chest.
- 1 is situated 20cm directly below the belly-button.
(These specifications may be altered if suits are made to fit)
Each air-hole can be opened or closed with a push of a button, allowing both protection and comfort when (and where) necessary. If you are having your suit made to fit, it is advised that you leave a gap of approximately 50mm between the suit and your body around each air-hole in order to avoid unwanted injuries. It is also advised that you do not have appendages (foreign or otherwise) poking out of the air-holes when the air-hole button lock is not activated.
The Sophisticated Suit can also be fitted with a number of optional extras, at additional cost.
Arm-mounted Blaster:
This handy piece of kit can be set to fire a lethal blast of ice, fire or photon energy, along with lipstick torpedoes. It has a range of 1000m, along with a retractable handbag and a blow-dry setting.
Protective Gloves:
Instead of settling for the suit’s standard metal gloves, why not splash out on the glove upgrade. Made of extra thick titanium to prevent broken nails, these gloves come complete with a built-in nail file, nail varnish brush and varnish remover and a vibrator setting.
Morphball:
Tired of the Trans-Galactic bus being late AGAIN? Fear not, because the Sophisticated Suit’s Morphball upgrade allows you and your suit to curl up into a tiny ball, capable of travelling at speeds of up to 1, 500, 000km/h. And as an added bonus, the Morphball is also scientifically proven to provide excellent exercise for the lower back and pelvic regions… saving you a truckload of money in Robo-Geri Yoga DVD’s.
X-Ray Visor:
Every woman – and a worrying number of men – knows that to look your best, you need to have an inch of make-up plastered across your face. It’s just common sense. Luckily, the Sophisticated Suit can be fitted with the special Visor upgrade, which protects your face and makeup from harmful blows, e.g. kicks, punches, slaps, stabs and maimings. This upgrade is also fitted with an X-Ray mode…… Got your eye on that nice looking bloke over in the corner? Too scared that instead of leading to a night of full-on passion, speaking to him may result in your public / pubic humiliation? Fear not, girl! X-ray mode will allow you to view that bloke’s package from the safety of your own Vodka, and make use of the air-hole situated 20cm directly below your belly button and your glove’s vibration setting. And to top it all off, the X-ray visor can even apply your make-up for you, leaving you free to do other important things, e.g. watching Home and Away or reading about Jade the Hutt from Big Brother 2103.
Boots:
The Sophisticated Suit comes with its’ own pair of durable boots, but to look good, WOMEN NEED HIGH HEELS. Fear not! Splash out on the Boot upgrade and with a push of a button, you’ll activate high heel mode. Get those heads turning, girl! (Samus Slein can not be held responsible for wearers being catapulted into ceilings and / or orbit)
The Sophisticated Suit costs €1, 999, 999. 99 – which includes p&p and a full warranty - with additional cost added for any extras purchased. To order your suit or to check our prices, phone Samus Slein directly at 0500-SAMUS or log on to www.samusslein.com/sophisticated.
Or alternatively, why not visit one of our 3 Metroid Clothing shops?
Basildon VIII Superstore,
Alien Massacre Park,
Basildon VIII,
Mecha Essex.
(1 mile from the Chozo Ruins)
Phone – 01268-BASILVIII
E-mail – [email protected]
Neo-Bristol store,
351, 000 Gloucester Sector,
Neo Bristol
(1 ½ light years from the Coliseum)
Phone – 0117-NEOBRISTOL
E-mail – [email protected]
Egham Quadrant store,
168, 000 High Street,
Egham Quadrant,
Surrey IV.
(near the Phazon Mines)
Phone – 01784-EGHAMQUAD
E-mail – [email protected]
We hope to here from you very soon.
- END TRANSMISSION -
Page:
- BEGIN TRANSMISSION -
(An extract from Metroid Clothing Magazine spring/summer 2103)
For the woman who has everything – including a pony, a Ferrari and even her own testicles – why not “shell” out on the all-new and improved Sophisticated Suit, brought to you by the excellent clothing manufacturer Samus Slein.
Samus Slein have been making impressive and fashionable metal suits for many years now, but one thing that we’ve never seen – despite popular demand – is a suit specifically designed for the female – or male, if you’re into cross-dressing – millionaire who simply must stay looking her best…… even when battling hordes of space pirates and evil alien beings. Well for a limited time only, you can now order one of these fantastic Sophisticated Suits.
The suit is made from reinforced titanium, with “air-holes” each measuring 5cm in diameter so that the user can “breathe”. These holes are located in the following places:
- 1 is situated 2cm directly below the nose.
- 2 are situated 15cm below the chin; spread 18cm apart (horizontally) on the chest.
- 1 is situated 20cm directly below the belly-button.
(These specifications may be altered if suits are made to fit)
Each air-hole can be opened or closed with a push of a button, allowing both protection and comfort when (and where) necessary. If you are having your suit made to fit, it is advised that you leave a gap of approximately 50mm between the suit and your body around each air-hole in order to avoid unwanted injuries. It is also advised that you do not have appendages (foreign or otherwise) poking out of the air-holes when the air-hole button lock is not activated.
The Sophisticated Suit can also be fitted with a number of optional extras, at additional cost.
Arm-mounted Blaster:
This handy piece of kit can be set to fire a lethal blast of ice, fire or photon energy, along with lipstick torpedoes. It has a range of 1000m, along with a retractable handbag and a blow-dry setting.
Protective Gloves:
Instead of settling for the suit’s standard metal gloves, why not splash out on the glove upgrade. Made of extra thick titanium to prevent broken nails, these gloves come complete with a built-in nail file, nail varnish brush and varnish remover and a vibrator setting.
Morphball:
Tired of the Trans-Galactic bus being late AGAIN? Fear not, because the Sophisticated Suit’s Morphball upgrade allows you and your suit to curl up into a tiny ball, capable of travelling at speeds of up to 1, 500, 000km/h. And as an added bonus, the Morphball is also scientifically proven to provide excellent exercise for the lower back and pelvic regions… saving you a truckload of money in Robo-Geri Yoga DVD’s.
X-Ray Visor:
Every woman – and a worrying number of men – knows that to look your best, you need to have an inch of make-up plastered across your face. It’s just common sense. Luckily, the Sophisticated Suit can be fitted with the special Visor upgrade, which protects your face and makeup from harmful blows, e.g. kicks, punches, slaps, stabs and maimings. This upgrade is also fitted with an X-Ray mode…… Got your eye on that nice looking bloke over in the corner? Too scared that instead of leading to a night of full-on passion, speaking to him may result in your public / pubic humiliation? Fear not, girl! X-ray mode will allow you to view that bloke’s package from the safety of your own Vodka, and make use of the air-hole situated 20cm directly below your belly button and your glove’s vibration setting. And to top it all off, the X-ray visor can even apply your make-up for you, leaving you free to do other important things, e.g. watching Home and Away or reading about Jade the Hutt from Big Brother 2103.
Boots:
The Sophisticated Suit comes with its’ own pair of durable boots, but to look good, WOMEN NEED HIGH HEELS. Fear not! Splash out on the Boot upgrade and with a push of a button, you’ll activate high heel mode. Get those heads turning, girl! (Samus Slein can not be held responsible for wearers being catapulted into ceilings and / or orbit)
The Sophisticated Suit costs €1, 999, 999. 99 – which includes p&p and a full warranty - with additional cost added for any extras purchased. To order your suit or to check our prices, phone Samus Slein directly at 0500-SAMUS or log on to www.samusslein.com/sophisticated.
Or alternatively, why not visit one of our 3 Metroid Clothing shops?
Basildon VIII Superstore,
Alien Massacre Park,
Basildon VIII,
Mecha Essex.
(1 mile from the Chozo Ruins)
Phone – 01268-BASILVIII
E-mail – [email protected]
Neo-Bristol store,
351, 000 Gloucester Sector,
Neo Bristol
(1 ½ light years from the Coliseum)
Phone – 0117-NEOBRISTOL
E-mail – [email protected]
Egham Quadrant store,
168, 000 High Street,
Egham Quadrant,
Surrey IV.
(near the Phazon Mines)
Phone – 01784-EGHAMQUAD
E-mail – [email protected]
We hope to here from you very soon.
- END TRANSMISSION -
(An extract from Metroid Clothing Magazine spring/summer 2103)
For the woman who has everything – including a pony, a Ferrari and even her own testicles – why not “shell” out on the all-new and improved Sophisticated Suit, brought to you by the excellent clothing manufacturer Samus Slein.
Samus Slein have been making impressive and fashionable metal suits for many years now, but one thing that we’ve never seen – despite popular demand – is a suit specifically designed for the female – or male, if you’re into cross-dressing – millionaire who simply must stay looking her best…… even when battling hordes of space pirates and evil alien beings. Well for a limited time only, you can now order one of these fantastic Sophisticated Suits.
The suit is made from reinforced titanium, with “air-holes” each measuring 5cm in diameter so that the user can “breathe”. These holes are located in the following places:
- 1 is situated 2cm directly below the nose.
- 2 are situated 15cm below the chin; spread 18cm apart (horizontally) on the chest.
- 1 is situated 20cm directly below the belly-button.
(These specifications may be altered if suits are made to fit)
Each air-hole can be opened or closed with a push of a button, allowing both protection and comfort when (and where) necessary. If you are having your suit made to fit, it is advised that you leave a gap of approximately 50mm between the suit and your body around each air-hole in order to avoid unwanted injuries. It is also advised that you do not have appendages (foreign or otherwise) poking out of the air-holes when the air-hole button lock is not activated.
The Sophisticated Suit can also be fitted with a number of optional extras, at additional cost.
Arm-mounted Blaster:
This handy piece of kit can be set to fire a lethal blast of ice, fire or photon energy, along with lipstick torpedoes. It has a range of 1000m, along with a retractable handbag and a blow-dry setting.
Protective Gloves:
Instead of settling for the suit’s standard metal gloves, why not splash out on the glove upgrade. Made of extra thick titanium to prevent broken nails, these gloves come complete with a built-in nail file, nail varnish brush and varnish remover and a vibrator setting.
Morphball:
Tired of the Trans-Galactic bus being late AGAIN? Fear not, because the Sophisticated Suit’s Morphball upgrade allows you and your suit to curl up into a tiny ball, capable of travelling at speeds of up to 1, 500, 000km/h. And as an added bonus, the Morphball is also scientifically proven to provide excellent exercise for the lower back and pelvic regions… saving you a truckload of money in Robo-Geri Yoga DVD’s.
X-Ray Visor:
Every woman – and a worrying number of men – knows that to look your best, you need to have an inch of make-up plastered across your face. It’s just common sense. Luckily, the Sophisticated Suit can be fitted with the special Visor upgrade, which protects your face and makeup from harmful blows, e.g. kicks, punches, slaps, stabs and maimings. This upgrade is also fitted with an X-Ray mode…… Got your eye on that nice looking bloke over in the corner? Too scared that instead of leading to a night of full-on passion, speaking to him may result in your public / pubic humiliation? Fear not, girl! X-ray mode will allow you to view that bloke’s package from the safety of your own Vodka, and make use of the air-hole situated 20cm directly below your belly button and your glove’s vibration setting. And to top it all off, the X-ray visor can even apply your make-up for you, leaving you free to do other important things, e.g. watching Home and Away or reading about Jade the Hutt from Big Brother 2103.
Boots:
The Sophisticated Suit comes with its’ own pair of durable boots, but to look good, WOMEN NEED HIGH HEELS. Fear not! Splash out on the Boot upgrade and with a push of a button, you’ll activate high heel mode. Get those heads turning, girl! (Samus Slein can not be held responsible for wearers being catapulted into ceilings and / or orbit)
The Sophisticated Suit costs €1, 999, 999. 99 – which includes p&p and a full warranty - with additional cost added for any extras purchased. To order your suit or to check our prices, phone Samus Slein directly at 0500-SAMUS or log on to www.samusslein.com/sophisticated.
Or alternatively, why not visit one of our 3 Metroid Clothing shops?
Basildon VIII Superstore,
Alien Massacre Park,
Basildon VIII,
Mecha Essex.
(1 mile from the Chozo Ruins)
Phone – 01268-BASILVIII
E-mail – [email protected]
Neo-Bristol store,
351, 000 Gloucester Sector,
Neo Bristol
(1 ½ light years from the Coliseum)
Phone – 0117-NEOBRISTOL
E-mail – [email protected]
Egham Quadrant store,
168, 000 High Street,
Egham Quadrant,
Surrey IV.
(near the Phazon Mines)
Phone – 01784-EGHAMQUAD
E-mail – [email protected]
We hope to here from you very soon.
- END TRANSMISSION -
Damn, there was me thinking she'd be an easy lay. If she can write something like this then I'm betting there is more than a bit of intelligence up their.
Good post, worryingly inventive for a girl :D
I predict a GAD win.
Good post, worryingly inventive for a girl :D
I predict a GAD win.
Lucy R wrote:
>It is also advised that
> you do not have appendages (foreign or otherwise) poking out of the
> air-holes when the air-hole button lock is not activated.
Ouch!
Now *that* is why you don't mess with Samus.
Presumably if the 'woman with everything including testes' will also have to be particulalry careful when operating the lower air hole lock. Or else suddenly become a little more ladylike, complete with high pitched voice and everything...
>It is also advised that
> you do not have appendages (foreign or otherwise) poking out of the
> air-holes when the air-hole button lock is not activated.
Ouch!
Now *that* is why you don't mess with Samus.
Presumably if the 'woman with everything including testes' will also have to be particulalry careful when operating the lower air hole lock. Or else suddenly become a little more ladylike, complete with high pitched voice and everything...
Tiltawhirl wrote:
> Good post, worryingly inventive for a girl :D
I take off my blonde wig and look what happens!
> Good post, worryingly inventive for a girl :D
I take off my blonde wig and look what happens!
Lucy R wrote:
> I take off my blonde wig and look what happens!
You are actually a man dressed as a woman?
Decent post though.
> I take off my blonde wig and look what happens!
You are actually a man dressed as a woman?
Decent post though.
Nice post - can I have a set of these please?
Protective Gloves:
Instead of settling for the suit?s standard metal gloves, why not splash out on the glove upgrade. Made of extra thick titanium to prevent broken nails, these gloves come complete with a built-in nail file, nail varnish brush and varnish remover and a vibrator setting.
Protective Gloves:
Instead of settling for the suit?s standard metal gloves, why not splash out on the glove upgrade. Made of extra thick titanium to prevent broken nails, these gloves come complete with a built-in nail file, nail varnish brush and varnish remover and a vibrator setting.
Good post WS, I mean Lucy R.
What?
Good Post I said, the other part was a mistake, soz.
Lunatic.
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