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"Very, very cheesey!"

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Tue 15/01/02 at 17:59
Posts: 787
The banana knew what he had to do. He had to kill Suspect X, the un-named target for crimes against the Reserve. The Special Reserve. The Big Cheese had made that very clear. Yet standing here before this 'Mr. X', the banana suddenly realised just who the Big Cheese was. Mr. X was, in fact, banana's long lost friend, Pasta. And The Big Cheese was the actual traitor. It suddenly had all clicked inside banana's mind. It was Shaneo in disguise. The Big Cheese had known this, and it was all a test, banana realised. Pasta withdrew his spaghetti-sword, and let banana go.
"You are my friend" said Pasta "And I could never harm you. Did you know in all my life I have never skinned a banana?"
"And I couldn't kill you either" said Banana fervently. "Shall we join forces to kill the Big Cheese?"
"Yes. Do you know where he is?"
"I do. He resides at the hypermegaglobalnet headquarters"
"Lets go."

They set off on the road again. They couldn't wait to get on the road again. They set off along the yellow brick 10-lane highway towards the hypermegaglobalnet headquarters, where the big cheese lived.
"You know what?" said Banana
"No, I don't. What?" replied Pasta
"All my life, I've been waiting for this moment. I don't know what it is, perhaps it was just my natural instincts, waiting for me to ripen, but I just can't put my pith on it."
"I know what you mean. I've been waiting for it too."
"I always knew there was something fiery about this Shaneo bloke."
"Do not worry. Once he is smoten we shall carry on our quest to eleminate all phonies.
"It won't be easy though"
"I know. The job description said there would be some hard work. We'll just have to see it through, we'll have to see it through..."

Together they reached the Hypermegaglobalnet headquarters. A big red flashing 'Special Reserve: Discount Computing and Video Games' met our protagonists.
"Its quiet" remarked Pasta "Too quiet"
Suddenly from a door on the side of the building came a load of small miniscule JATs. The leader came up very close, exclaiming
"U r ded we spam u n u dy"
Pasta's sauce was pumping strong, and he lept forward, hammering his spaghetti sword into the stats of the JAT. He fell, and became a grey banned blob. The rest of the JATs surged forward, and after a brief encounter there was a large grey mass on the floor.
"Ergghhh, I think I trod in some spam" said Banana.
"Not to worry, they'll be banned soon"
"Its not that that worries me, its just that there are so many more where they came from"
"Don't worry, I'll protect you when the time comes"
So our heroes headed inside the hypermegaglobalnet building.

They were heading up the elevator, like all heroes do, when they reached the top floor. Stepping outside, they encountered a massive group of JATs, with some Newbie hybrids.
"We'll never beat them all" said Banana, panicking.
"No. Surrender is our only option" replied Pasta.
So they surrendered.

But suddenly, from within the writhing throng came a loud cry and a big smacking sound. A dozen JATs were hurled into the air, and Pasta could see a big sharpened stick raised defiantly in the air.
"Its the fabled ill-tempered Mystique!!!" Cried Pasta, and suddenly him and Banana surged to their feet, helping Mystique to quell the throng. When all had been downed, Mystique strode over to Pasta. She slapped him for surrendering, then strode to the elevator. She stepped inside, only to find that the elevator had already left. She fell all the way to the bottom of the elevator shaft and accidentally impaled herself on her stick. A faint cheering could be heard from within the Hypermegaglobalnet tower. Still our adventurers continued. They decided to opt for stairs this time, a wise decision judging by Mystiques terrible, but oh-so-deserved fate.

Banana was tiring fast. He had a wound to the upper body which, if not rested properly, could prove fatal. But still he carried on, until at last the stairs could go no further. Pasta pushed open the door that faced them, and stepped out... into sunlight.
"Dammit" Pasta said "We've gone too far, we're on the roof!"
So they went back down to the door which they passed earlier which had the words 'Evil Big Cheese's apartments' written in big bright blue letters written on. Banana went first, and stepped inside.

"We know who you are" Pasta shouted to the silhoutted figure at the other end of the room.
"Give up now, and no harm will befall you" Banana put in, with his fingers crossed behind his back.
"Mwa ha ha" said the evil figure "You know my secret. Thats right, I am Shaneo, but I am also The Big Cheese, and there's nuttin you girls gonna do 'bout it"
"You will rot in hell!!!" screamed Banana, before running forward, tripping over the trip wire and landing in the big puddle of carefully-concealed super glue. He tried to rise but failed, his face stuck to the floor.
"Die!!!!!" shouted Pasta at the top of his voice before running forward, hurdling the tripwire and superglue and ramming his spaghetti-sword through Shaneo.
"NOOOOOOOO" cried Shaneo defiantly, but it was too late. Pasta had managed to cut the cheese.
"Phewww!!!!" Shouted Banana "Stiiiiinky!".

And so our adventurers had prevailed, and saved Special Reserve from the evil clutch of The Big Cheese, better known as Shaneo. Banana escaped with his life, and they were hailed as the heroes of gameaday for the rest of enternity.

The End. (Rapturous applause follows :D)
Tue 15/01/02 at 20:03
Posts: 2,925
Bow down to the things from outer cheese. JAPE JAPE JAPE JAPE!
Tue 15/01/02 at 20:01
Posts: 3,110
Weird Wonder wrote:
> Jape is a lot better then Jest and Mock. I think it's cool!


Join the club!!!! Woohoo. :D
Tue 15/01/02 at 19:57
Posts: 2,925
Jape is a lot better then Jest and Mock. I think it's cool!
Tue 15/01/02 at 19:51
Posts: 3,110
Weird Wonder wrote:
> And when they're Notables.. don't talk at all or you'll just show your self
> up!!!! I'm just japing with ya'll!


Are you saying 'jape' to mock me??? Jape is a rocking word! Just like Cheese is a rocking food!
Tue 15/01/02 at 19:49
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
Oh, you've got a good head on you 1/2 pint.

ha! get it?
Head - pint.

sorry, couldn't resist.
Tue 15/01/02 at 19:48
Posts: 2,925
And when they're Notables.. don't talk at all or you'll just show your self up!!!! I'm just japing with ya'll!
Tue 15/01/02 at 19:47
Posts: 3,110
Its OK, don't be too hard on Metallicadude person. If you use big words he'll get all confused. Avaricious egocentric remedial. That'll learn ya'!!!!!
Tue 15/01/02 at 19:44
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
You have to wait for JAT brains to grow before making contact with them.
And when they are newbies just speak V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y and they might just get it.
Tue 15/01/02 at 19:43
Posts: 2,925
It's happening already.. first my sworn allegience to the smelly, yellow men from outta cheese and now a story dedicated to there commander. Commander Big Cheese!

On the serious note now.
1. MetallicaDude:)! You can't just come on here try to mingle with us and dis the first good story we've had on here for ages. If you look around hardly any of the stuff is related to FOG but that doesn't really matter. We all get along fine here and the stories cheer us up after a crappy day.

2. 1/2 pint: Good story, was fun to read... but as every1 else would say.. where was I! Cya'll
Tue 15/01/02 at 19:40
Posts: 23,218
forget it.

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