The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
(Set in 2008)
Is your Gamecube between 5-8 years old? Look no further!
From the same company that wishes old peoples' life away, comes after-life insurance for you Video Games console!
"Life at this age can be stressful. Don’t worry about death though, we'll do the worrying for you! When your circuitry cracks and your plastic melts, you won't want the worry of those unpaid debts. No, you'll be more occupied with the dodgy feeling in your memory card slots…"
This is why Nintendo insurance offers the best deals for your little aging friend. Here are some of the package deals we offer:
"Ay? What d'ya say?"
The Macronix DSP (Digital sound processor) produces all of your Gamecube's sound. After the wear and tear that is expected over the years finally takes its toll, your Gamecube will become deaf. Well, it won't be able to produce sound anymore. That's where we come in. Massive speakers, the Gamecube's version of a Hearing aid, would cost absolutely loads. Not with insurance! Payable through the newly-arrived broadband service, the speakers will arrive in roughly 3-4 weeks. Then you can once again enjoy those amazing sounds that only a new Gamecube can produce.
"2+2=17"
The Gekko processor handles all of the complicated calculations that make games more realistic/convincing. When age sets in and the math goes down the drain, it's time to thank yourself for paying insurance all those years to Nintendo. Yes, we offer a 'no hassle calculator plan' that will sort out all your problems for you. Yes indeed, 3 years of monthly payments of £12.99 you can get a run-of-the-mill calculator that'll do all your calculations for you. Defeating the object of the Gekko in the first place should not dampen your spirits, look at it as a permanent holiday for it. No more complicated formulae, no more adding up, and definitely no more power supplied to it. Such is life, but in a post about death, that probably wasn't the best thing to say really…
"ooooh me back!"
Basically, the Flipper is your Gamecube's muscles. When your Gamecube's flipper chip breaks, say good-bye to crisp, clear visuals. Yep, even NES graphics would be hard to manage with no flipper, but that's exactly why we're here! Send your Gamecube back to us, after paying 5 years of monthly installments totaling over £300.00, and we *might* do something about it. What do you mean, "That's unreliable?" Hey buddy, we apply the same rules for Gamecube insurance as we do for codgers, I mean, old peoples' insurance…
"It's Mario Sunshine, or is it Animal Crossing? Meh"
When the DRAM goes out the window, you can forget (Haha) all that extra memory capacity. Not with Nintendo insurance though. We'll supply you with a notepad and pencil, and, er, let you get on with it. Don't worry though, it's "Very affordable" and "it costs less than a Sunday dinner!" so cost isn't an issue. The real issue is what happens when you run out of paper. Just go to the Post Office and buy more. "We could have done that in the first place!" Yes, maybe, but it's not official paper, is it? Logic 3, however, are set to release many paper types though. No change there, then…
"Say, am I a Gamecube or an Xbox?"
That's certainly something a Gamecube should NEVER have to think about. Unfortunately, when its MoSys IT-SRAM breaks it will. Not with Nintendo insurance! We'll staple an "I'm a Gamecube!" paper clipping to the front of the Gamecube, so it'll never forget…
"Ere, let me get me readin' specs out"
Eventually, after playing many, many games, your Gamecube's lens will break. That means no games whatsoever. Have no fear, though; Nintendo life insurance will cover all disc-reading difficulties. Simply open your Gamecube, rip the lens out and stick in a CD lens reader. Who knows if it works, and there's absolutely no reason for insurance, but, er, pay it anyway. Yes….
"Argh! Me 'ands! I've got leprosy!"
When the inevitable happens, you rip your controller out too quickly, the port is likely to break. In other words, you can't play a thing. Pay us money, hopefully a lot, and we'll come round and ram the controller into the Gamecube for you. Er, yes, it may not work, but you never know. It's this sort of service that you get from After-death insurance.
And if all else fails, buy a new Gamecube. Shame you can't buy a new Old Person. But then again, people never think of these things…
Thanks for reading
Microchips
(P.S. I mean this is in a non-agist way! :D)
Is your Gamecube between 5-8 years old? Look no further!
From the same company that wishes old peoples' life away, comes after-life insurance for you Video Games console!
"Life at this age can be stressful. Don’t worry about death though, we'll do the worrying for you! When your circuitry cracks and your plastic melts, you won't want the worry of those unpaid debts. No, you'll be more occupied with the dodgy feeling in your memory card slots…"
This is why Nintendo insurance offers the best deals for your little aging friend. Here are some of the package deals we offer:
"Ay? What d'ya say?"
The Macronix DSP (Digital sound processor) produces all of your Gamecube's sound. After the wear and tear that is expected over the years finally takes its toll, your Gamecube will become deaf. Well, it won't be able to produce sound anymore. That's where we come in. Massive speakers, the Gamecube's version of a Hearing aid, would cost absolutely loads. Not with insurance! Payable through the newly-arrived broadband service, the speakers will arrive in roughly 3-4 weeks. Then you can once again enjoy those amazing sounds that only a new Gamecube can produce.
"2+2=17"
The Gekko processor handles all of the complicated calculations that make games more realistic/convincing. When age sets in and the math goes down the drain, it's time to thank yourself for paying insurance all those years to Nintendo. Yes, we offer a 'no hassle calculator plan' that will sort out all your problems for you. Yes indeed, 3 years of monthly payments of £12.99 you can get a run-of-the-mill calculator that'll do all your calculations for you. Defeating the object of the Gekko in the first place should not dampen your spirits, look at it as a permanent holiday for it. No more complicated formulae, no more adding up, and definitely no more power supplied to it. Such is life, but in a post about death, that probably wasn't the best thing to say really…
"ooooh me back!"
Basically, the Flipper is your Gamecube's muscles. When your Gamecube's flipper chip breaks, say good-bye to crisp, clear visuals. Yep, even NES graphics would be hard to manage with no flipper, but that's exactly why we're here! Send your Gamecube back to us, after paying 5 years of monthly installments totaling over £300.00, and we *might* do something about it. What do you mean, "That's unreliable?" Hey buddy, we apply the same rules for Gamecube insurance as we do for codgers, I mean, old peoples' insurance…
"It's Mario Sunshine, or is it Animal Crossing? Meh"
When the DRAM goes out the window, you can forget (Haha) all that extra memory capacity. Not with Nintendo insurance though. We'll supply you with a notepad and pencil, and, er, let you get on with it. Don't worry though, it's "Very affordable" and "it costs less than a Sunday dinner!" so cost isn't an issue. The real issue is what happens when you run out of paper. Just go to the Post Office and buy more. "We could have done that in the first place!" Yes, maybe, but it's not official paper, is it? Logic 3, however, are set to release many paper types though. No change there, then…
"Say, am I a Gamecube or an Xbox?"
That's certainly something a Gamecube should NEVER have to think about. Unfortunately, when its MoSys IT-SRAM breaks it will. Not with Nintendo insurance! We'll staple an "I'm a Gamecube!" paper clipping to the front of the Gamecube, so it'll never forget…
"Ere, let me get me readin' specs out"
Eventually, after playing many, many games, your Gamecube's lens will break. That means no games whatsoever. Have no fear, though; Nintendo life insurance will cover all disc-reading difficulties. Simply open your Gamecube, rip the lens out and stick in a CD lens reader. Who knows if it works, and there's absolutely no reason for insurance, but, er, pay it anyway. Yes….
"Argh! Me 'ands! I've got leprosy!"
When the inevitable happens, you rip your controller out too quickly, the port is likely to break. In other words, you can't play a thing. Pay us money, hopefully a lot, and we'll come round and ram the controller into the Gamecube for you. Er, yes, it may not work, but you never know. It's this sort of service that you get from After-death insurance.
And if all else fails, buy a new Gamecube. Shame you can't buy a new Old Person. But then again, people never think of these things…
Thanks for reading
Microchips
(P.S. I mean this is in a non-agist way! :D)
Lol :-D
I want an 'I'm a GameCube' paper clipper :-)
I want an 'I'm a GameCube' paper clipper :-)
Thanks again! :D
Hehe.
Good stuff.
It would probably work as well, sadly.....
:D
Good stuff.
It would probably work as well, sadly.....
:D
YeY Shipsey, I told you it was great.
Cheers guys! :)
Another great post there, Mr. Chips.
Where can I sign up?
Where can I sign up?
heh, very amusing and imaginative post :)
slik ~_~
slik ~_~
*applaudes* Winner.
LOL! Excellent stuff, yet again Chipster.
(Set in 2008)
Is your Gamecube between 5-8 years old? Look no further!
From the same company that wishes old peoples' life away, comes after-life insurance for you Video Games console!
"Life at this age can be stressful. Don’t worry about death though, we'll do the worrying for you! When your circuitry cracks and your plastic melts, you won't want the worry of those unpaid debts. No, you'll be more occupied with the dodgy feeling in your memory card slots…"
This is why Nintendo insurance offers the best deals for your little aging friend. Here are some of the package deals we offer:
"Ay? What d'ya say?"
The Macronix DSP (Digital sound processor) produces all of your Gamecube's sound. After the wear and tear that is expected over the years finally takes its toll, your Gamecube will become deaf. Well, it won't be able to produce sound anymore. That's where we come in. Massive speakers, the Gamecube's version of a Hearing aid, would cost absolutely loads. Not with insurance! Payable through the newly-arrived broadband service, the speakers will arrive in roughly 3-4 weeks. Then you can once again enjoy those amazing sounds that only a new Gamecube can produce.
"2+2=17"
The Gekko processor handles all of the complicated calculations that make games more realistic/convincing. When age sets in and the math goes down the drain, it's time to thank yourself for paying insurance all those years to Nintendo. Yes, we offer a 'no hassle calculator plan' that will sort out all your problems for you. Yes indeed, 3 years of monthly payments of £12.99 you can get a run-of-the-mill calculator that'll do all your calculations for you. Defeating the object of the Gekko in the first place should not dampen your spirits, look at it as a permanent holiday for it. No more complicated formulae, no more adding up, and definitely no more power supplied to it. Such is life, but in a post about death, that probably wasn't the best thing to say really…
"ooooh me back!"
Basically, the Flipper is your Gamecube's muscles. When your Gamecube's flipper chip breaks, say good-bye to crisp, clear visuals. Yep, even NES graphics would be hard to manage with no flipper, but that's exactly why we're here! Send your Gamecube back to us, after paying 5 years of monthly installments totaling over £300.00, and we *might* do something about it. What do you mean, "That's unreliable?" Hey buddy, we apply the same rules for Gamecube insurance as we do for codgers, I mean, old peoples' insurance…
"It's Mario Sunshine, or is it Animal Crossing? Meh"
When the DRAM goes out the window, you can forget (Haha) all that extra memory capacity. Not with Nintendo insurance though. We'll supply you with a notepad and pencil, and, er, let you get on with it. Don't worry though, it's "Very affordable" and "it costs less than a Sunday dinner!" so cost isn't an issue. The real issue is what happens when you run out of paper. Just go to the Post Office and buy more. "We could have done that in the first place!" Yes, maybe, but it's not official paper, is it? Logic 3, however, are set to release many paper types though. No change there, then…
"Say, am I a Gamecube or an Xbox?"
That's certainly something a Gamecube should NEVER have to think about. Unfortunately, when its MoSys IT-SRAM breaks it will. Not with Nintendo insurance! We'll staple an "I'm a Gamecube!" paper clipping to the front of the Gamecube, so it'll never forget…
"Ere, let me get me readin' specs out"
Eventually, after playing many, many games, your Gamecube's lens will break. That means no games whatsoever. Have no fear, though; Nintendo life insurance will cover all disc-reading difficulties. Simply open your Gamecube, rip the lens out and stick in a CD lens reader. Who knows if it works, and there's absolutely no reason for insurance, but, er, pay it anyway. Yes….
"Argh! Me 'ands! I've got leprosy!"
When the inevitable happens, you rip your controller out too quickly, the port is likely to break. In other words, you can't play a thing. Pay us money, hopefully a lot, and we'll come round and ram the controller into the Gamecube for you. Er, yes, it may not work, but you never know. It's this sort of service that you get from After-death insurance.
And if all else fails, buy a new Gamecube. Shame you can't buy a new Old Person. But then again, people never think of these things…
Thanks for reading
Microchips
(P.S. I mean this is in a non-agist way! :D)
Is your Gamecube between 5-8 years old? Look no further!
From the same company that wishes old peoples' life away, comes after-life insurance for you Video Games console!
"Life at this age can be stressful. Don’t worry about death though, we'll do the worrying for you! When your circuitry cracks and your plastic melts, you won't want the worry of those unpaid debts. No, you'll be more occupied with the dodgy feeling in your memory card slots…"
This is why Nintendo insurance offers the best deals for your little aging friend. Here are some of the package deals we offer:
"Ay? What d'ya say?"
The Macronix DSP (Digital sound processor) produces all of your Gamecube's sound. After the wear and tear that is expected over the years finally takes its toll, your Gamecube will become deaf. Well, it won't be able to produce sound anymore. That's where we come in. Massive speakers, the Gamecube's version of a Hearing aid, would cost absolutely loads. Not with insurance! Payable through the newly-arrived broadband service, the speakers will arrive in roughly 3-4 weeks. Then you can once again enjoy those amazing sounds that only a new Gamecube can produce.
"2+2=17"
The Gekko processor handles all of the complicated calculations that make games more realistic/convincing. When age sets in and the math goes down the drain, it's time to thank yourself for paying insurance all those years to Nintendo. Yes, we offer a 'no hassle calculator plan' that will sort out all your problems for you. Yes indeed, 3 years of monthly payments of £12.99 you can get a run-of-the-mill calculator that'll do all your calculations for you. Defeating the object of the Gekko in the first place should not dampen your spirits, look at it as a permanent holiday for it. No more complicated formulae, no more adding up, and definitely no more power supplied to it. Such is life, but in a post about death, that probably wasn't the best thing to say really…
"ooooh me back!"
Basically, the Flipper is your Gamecube's muscles. When your Gamecube's flipper chip breaks, say good-bye to crisp, clear visuals. Yep, even NES graphics would be hard to manage with no flipper, but that's exactly why we're here! Send your Gamecube back to us, after paying 5 years of monthly installments totaling over £300.00, and we *might* do something about it. What do you mean, "That's unreliable?" Hey buddy, we apply the same rules for Gamecube insurance as we do for codgers, I mean, old peoples' insurance…
"It's Mario Sunshine, or is it Animal Crossing? Meh"
When the DRAM goes out the window, you can forget (Haha) all that extra memory capacity. Not with Nintendo insurance though. We'll supply you with a notepad and pencil, and, er, let you get on with it. Don't worry though, it's "Very affordable" and "it costs less than a Sunday dinner!" so cost isn't an issue. The real issue is what happens when you run out of paper. Just go to the Post Office and buy more. "We could have done that in the first place!" Yes, maybe, but it's not official paper, is it? Logic 3, however, are set to release many paper types though. No change there, then…
"Say, am I a Gamecube or an Xbox?"
That's certainly something a Gamecube should NEVER have to think about. Unfortunately, when its MoSys IT-SRAM breaks it will. Not with Nintendo insurance! We'll staple an "I'm a Gamecube!" paper clipping to the front of the Gamecube, so it'll never forget…
"Ere, let me get me readin' specs out"
Eventually, after playing many, many games, your Gamecube's lens will break. That means no games whatsoever. Have no fear, though; Nintendo life insurance will cover all disc-reading difficulties. Simply open your Gamecube, rip the lens out and stick in a CD lens reader. Who knows if it works, and there's absolutely no reason for insurance, but, er, pay it anyway. Yes….
"Argh! Me 'ands! I've got leprosy!"
When the inevitable happens, you rip your controller out too quickly, the port is likely to break. In other words, you can't play a thing. Pay us money, hopefully a lot, and we'll come round and ram the controller into the Gamecube for you. Er, yes, it may not work, but you never know. It's this sort of service that you get from After-death insurance.
And if all else fails, buy a new Gamecube. Shame you can't buy a new Old Person. But then again, people never think of these things…
Thanks for reading
Microchips
(P.S. I mean this is in a non-agist way! :D)