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Foreword: Any offence taken by Gerrid or any other member of SR was unintentional and I am sorry. If Gerrid did take any offence he will beat me…SEVERLY and take away all wednesleydale privileges.
*****
Chapter 1
Gerrid walked into the conference room a great weight pressing on his mind, he continued to his chair before taking off his iron hat. "What news have you of the evil Mystique?" Gerrid enquired eyeing up the plate Wednesleydale cheese and spoons in the centre.
"Uh Sir it seems our last attack irradicated the last of her rebel forces" Microchips said shaking Gerrid from his daydream.
"Good, but if Mystique has been silenced then why did you call me here?"
"It seems-" Chips started
"There is a meteor heading straight for Gerridville Gerrid!" AJ finished bluntly.
"Does it bring Wednesleydale?" Gerrid asked.
"No just death Gerrid"
"Death with spoons?" Gerrid continued hopefully.
"GERRID THERE ARE NO SPOONS, WEDNESLEYDALE OR ANY OTHER FUN BRINGING ITEM!" AJ shouted slamming his fist on the table "I’m sorry old friend but this is serious, Gerridville will be destroyed in the blast should the meteor continue on its path"
"Is there any hope of survival?" Gerrid asked a hint of fear hanging in his voice.
"To be blunt sir we are screwed-" Microchips said holding his head in his hands.
"The important civilians and town representatives can be moved out to underground living quarters" AJ said sadly.
"Uh sirs that’s not…entirely true…", A figure on the far side of the table said nervously.
"What do you mean not true!?" Chips cried
"Chips let Kyz speak" Gerrid said raising his head.
"Well for a few months now we have been developing heavy weaponry and various other defence items for our battle against the evil Mystique" Kyz said
"A few months! In those few months we could have won several games and elected a Notable!" Gerrid shouted in an outraged disgust.
"Sir it was of the utmost importance that no information be released-"
"BY your god!?- uh not god mayor" Gerrid cried looking edgy.
"Sorry sir, anyway part of the mission was to develop orbital weaponry-"
"Why on earth would you develop killer chewing gum!?" Gerrid asked amazed.
"um no sir orbital as in space"
"ooooooh!" Gerrid sat back down in his chair as if loosing interest in any plan not involving gum or cheese.
"Anyway part of this was a space ship capable of long space journeys"
"So your saying…." AJ began.
"What I’m saying is that with the ship and some nukes we could blast this thing to high Hades!"
"We will find Gerridville’s finest drillers for the mission I will walk around supposedly doing nothing at all so as to see them in action" AJ declared.
The three got up and exited the room leaving Gerrid alone with the cheese…
Chapter 2
Judah was -as he usually did on a Sunday- aimlessly drilling holes in his wall. A small pile of dust had accumulated about his feet. He turned the music up to block out the voices in his head and continued smiling gormlessley.
AJ jogged through the sodden grass until after a while he heard drilling sound, he turned and saw Judah, drilling a hole in the wall "He’s amazing!" AJ said to himself. In the grass he sat watching in stunned silence as Judah effortlessly destroyed his bathroom wall. Judah turned to look out of the window at the whether outside and saw AJ sitting on his lawn, he ran outside ready to wallop AJ.
AJ saw Judah running towards him all drills blazing and shouted "STOP!" Judah slowed to a gentle anger and said "What do you want! I WAS DRILLING!"
"I am from GNMOD (Gerridville National Ministry Of Defence) I would like to recruit YOU and a team of your choice for our latest mission" Judah looked at AJ doubtfully
"Can I bring my drill?"
"Oh we will gives you a drill!"…
"This is our ship, and you lot will be staying here for a while so get used to it!" Kyz pointed to a huge ship and continued on. Judah Ben-Hur, Froots, El Blokey and RM18 follow him chatting about beer and the amount of walls they have drilled.
"Now that concludes our tour, any questions?" AJ asked as hands raised "We will provide drills remember" All of the hands went down and AJ sighed and said "Now we launch tomorrow so you had better all get some sleep"
Chapter 3
"The drillers launch tomorrow sir" Chips said to Gerrid at the round table.
"Excellent, then everything…is going… to plan…" Gerrid replied sly rubbing his hands together.
"Uh yes…Gerrid it is!" AJ replied confused.
"On to other news is there any sign from the evil Mystique?" Gerrid asked
"Nope we believe we have irradicated her forces for good now and the wench-mobile is safe!" Chips said with glee.
"Perfect then I can schedule a pootle with AJ this afternoon?"
"Already taken care of sir!" Kyz replied happily.
Chapter 4
The invisible wench rumbled along the deserted road dust rising from the path behind.
"So do you reckon we’ll live through this?" Gerrid asked AJ seriously for the first time.
"Nah we’ll probably vaporise on impact-" AJ said absent mindedley, Gerrid went into a stunned silence his bottom lip quivering.
"I mean yea we’ll all be fine roses will probably grow too"
"Good that’s what I thought" Gerrid smiled and turned back to the road.
Chapter 5
The street seemed to rumble below Dorothy’s feet as the crowds of people cascaded past her, pushing her around like flotsam in a river. Through her cataracts she could see the sky had turned from a pale never-ending blue to a fated dark grey colour. She never cared much for the sky, until she lost the main part of her sight that is, its funny how we miss things when they are gone… her thoughts turned to her late husband Elam, he never did tell her what he said he would, in the trenches during the great war. The people were everywhere like blades of grass in meadow now. Dorothy couldn’t stand the screaming in her ears, why were they screaming? Why was she screaming? Then her question was answered, the small comet propelled itself along the road melting, crumbling and killing as it went, it finally found its resting place and the explosion sent a ripple around the city, around the earth. All beings as far as the eye could see where scorched or ripped to shreds by the flying shrapnel from buildings.
Chapter 6:
"Uh sir?" Kyz said to Gerrid
"Yes"
"Uh Today a piece of the meteor flew into a part of Gerridville…in short we need to launch NOW!"
Gerrid nodded "Are the astronaughts ready to launch?"
"All taken care of sir"
***
Note: At this point the writer (me) had a sudden change of heart and decided on a totally different writing style…
***
Part 2
****
Scene 7:
JBH: Hehehe this should be fun…
TPhi: Uh Yea Looking forward to it…
Idlewild: Yup fun indeed shall come yet grave danger I sense in this
Meka Dragon: Yes master Idle but surely great things can be achieved?
Idlewild: Yes but fated this journey is…
Gerrid: God I hope this works
Chips: Yes sir but I’m sure you are meant to bite your finger nails…
Kyz: Providing everything goes scarily to plan and they land on the 1km square of soil and not one of the millions of other easily landable spots we should easily succeed
AJ: To save money for your cheese fund we have put just enough fuel to land the shuttle on the meteor and then back to the proposed Gerridville landing spot.
Gerrid: Ah good.
Tannoy: PREPAIR TO LAUNCH IN 30 SECONDS. PLEASE FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS. KEEP YOUR ARMS AND LEGS INSIDE THE ADVANCED LUNAR SPACE SHUTTLE AT ALL TIMES. THANK YOU.
JBH: 10, 5, 8, 2, 9, 3, 6, 1 BLAAAAAAAST OFF! We’ll I seem to have made a slight- AAAARRRGG HOLY SH-
TPhi: It’s great isn’t it?
Idlewild: Wonderful it is.
TPhi: Smoke weed you must not…
Scene 8:
Meka: There it is…
TPhi: No you fool there it is!
Meka: …That’s the sun(??)
TPhi: Ok fine well FU-
JBH: Kay that is where we will be drilling, yes that small yellow coloured landing spot.
Scene 9:
Gerrid: God I hope they are Ok.
AJ: Early signs show that the crew have landed and everything is going scarily to plan…
Chips: Good just as we predicted in a scary manner.
Scene 10:
JBH: LETS GET DRILLIN!
<30 minutes later>
JBH: There we are done!
Meka: Uh where is the detonator?
Idlewild: Heh I ate it hehehehe
TPhi: Oh no he’s insane
JBH: Well duh.
Meka: We only have one hope…
Scene 11:
AJ: Gerrid the astronaughts have made their last transmission…
Gerrid: Why didn’t they like us?
AJ: The detonation device was lost on the journey so they are going to fly the shuttle into the meteor to blow it up…
Gerrid: Cool!
Chips: Poor souls…
AJ: Come on Gerrid we must prepare our statement to the nation…
Scene 12:
JBH: It has been a pleasure working with you guys…
TPhi: Likewise
Meka: If I’m gonna die with anyone I’m glad its you…
Idlewild: Personally I hate you all, I’d rather eat my skin off and then jump in a vat of a-
JBH: I’ll miss you all…
TPhi: Oh look here is the detonator-
The (Abrupt) End
****************
Thanks for reading.
*****
Chapter 1
Gerrid walked into the conference room a great weight pressing on his mind, he continued to his chair before taking off his iron hat. "What news have you of the evil Mystique?" Gerrid enquired eyeing up the plate Wednesleydale cheese and spoons in the centre.
"Uh Sir it seems our last attack irradicated the last of her rebel forces" Microchips said shaking Gerrid from his daydream.
"Good, but if Mystique has been silenced then why did you call me here?"
"It seems-" Chips started
"There is a meteor heading straight for Gerridville Gerrid!" AJ finished bluntly.
"Does it bring Wednesleydale?" Gerrid asked.
"No just death Gerrid"
"Death with spoons?" Gerrid continued hopefully.
"GERRID THERE ARE NO SPOONS, WEDNESLEYDALE OR ANY OTHER FUN BRINGING ITEM!" AJ shouted slamming his fist on the table "I’m sorry old friend but this is serious, Gerridville will be destroyed in the blast should the meteor continue on its path"
"Is there any hope of survival?" Gerrid asked a hint of fear hanging in his voice.
"To be blunt sir we are screwed-" Microchips said holding his head in his hands.
"The important civilians and town representatives can be moved out to underground living quarters" AJ said sadly.
"Uh sirs that’s not…entirely true…", A figure on the far side of the table said nervously.
"What do you mean not true!?" Chips cried
"Chips let Kyz speak" Gerrid said raising his head.
"Well for a few months now we have been developing heavy weaponry and various other defence items for our battle against the evil Mystique" Kyz said
"A few months! In those few months we could have won several games and elected a Notable!" Gerrid shouted in an outraged disgust.
"Sir it was of the utmost importance that no information be released-"
"BY your god!?- uh not god mayor" Gerrid cried looking edgy.
"Sorry sir, anyway part of the mission was to develop orbital weaponry-"
"Why on earth would you develop killer chewing gum!?" Gerrid asked amazed.
"um no sir orbital as in space"
"ooooooh!" Gerrid sat back down in his chair as if loosing interest in any plan not involving gum or cheese.
"Anyway part of this was a space ship capable of long space journeys"
"So your saying…." AJ began.
"What I’m saying is that with the ship and some nukes we could blast this thing to high Hades!"
"We will find Gerridville’s finest drillers for the mission I will walk around supposedly doing nothing at all so as to see them in action" AJ declared.
The three got up and exited the room leaving Gerrid alone with the cheese…
Chapter 2
Judah was -as he usually did on a Sunday- aimlessly drilling holes in his wall. A small pile of dust had accumulated about his feet. He turned the music up to block out the voices in his head and continued smiling gormlessley.
AJ jogged through the sodden grass until after a while he heard drilling sound, he turned and saw Judah, drilling a hole in the wall "He’s amazing!" AJ said to himself. In the grass he sat watching in stunned silence as Judah effortlessly destroyed his bathroom wall. Judah turned to look out of the window at the whether outside and saw AJ sitting on his lawn, he ran outside ready to wallop AJ.
AJ saw Judah running towards him all drills blazing and shouted "STOP!" Judah slowed to a gentle anger and said "What do you want! I WAS DRILLING!"
"I am from GNMOD (Gerridville National Ministry Of Defence) I would like to recruit YOU and a team of your choice for our latest mission" Judah looked at AJ doubtfully
"Can I bring my drill?"
"Oh we will gives you a drill!"…
"This is our ship, and you lot will be staying here for a while so get used to it!" Kyz pointed to a huge ship and continued on. Judah Ben-Hur, Froots, El Blokey and RM18 follow him chatting about beer and the amount of walls they have drilled.
"Now that concludes our tour, any questions?" AJ asked as hands raised "We will provide drills remember" All of the hands went down and AJ sighed and said "Now we launch tomorrow so you had better all get some sleep"
Chapter 3
"The drillers launch tomorrow sir" Chips said to Gerrid at the round table.
"Excellent, then everything…is going… to plan…" Gerrid replied sly rubbing his hands together.
"Uh yes…Gerrid it is!" AJ replied confused.
"On to other news is there any sign from the evil Mystique?" Gerrid asked
"Nope we believe we have irradicated her forces for good now and the wench-mobile is safe!" Chips said with glee.
"Perfect then I can schedule a pootle with AJ this afternoon?"
"Already taken care of sir!" Kyz replied happily.
Chapter 4
The invisible wench rumbled along the deserted road dust rising from the path behind.
"So do you reckon we’ll live through this?" Gerrid asked AJ seriously for the first time.
"Nah we’ll probably vaporise on impact-" AJ said absent mindedley, Gerrid went into a stunned silence his bottom lip quivering.
"I mean yea we’ll all be fine roses will probably grow too"
"Good that’s what I thought" Gerrid smiled and turned back to the road.
Chapter 5
The street seemed to rumble below Dorothy’s feet as the crowds of people cascaded past her, pushing her around like flotsam in a river. Through her cataracts she could see the sky had turned from a pale never-ending blue to a fated dark grey colour. She never cared much for the sky, until she lost the main part of her sight that is, its funny how we miss things when they are gone… her thoughts turned to her late husband Elam, he never did tell her what he said he would, in the trenches during the great war. The people were everywhere like blades of grass in meadow now. Dorothy couldn’t stand the screaming in her ears, why were they screaming? Why was she screaming? Then her question was answered, the small comet propelled itself along the road melting, crumbling and killing as it went, it finally found its resting place and the explosion sent a ripple around the city, around the earth. All beings as far as the eye could see where scorched or ripped to shreds by the flying shrapnel from buildings.
Chapter 6:
"Uh sir?" Kyz said to Gerrid
"Yes"
"Uh Today a piece of the meteor flew into a part of Gerridville…in short we need to launch NOW!"
Gerrid nodded "Are the astronaughts ready to launch?"
"All taken care of sir"
***
Note: At this point the writer (me) had a sudden change of heart and decided on a totally different writing style…
***
Part 2
****
Scene 7:
JBH: Hehehe this should be fun…
TPhi:
Idlewild: Yup fun indeed shall come yet grave danger I sense in this
Meka Dragon: Yes master Idle but surely great things can be achieved?
Idlewild: Yes but fated this journey is…
Gerrid: God I hope this works
Chips: Yes sir but I’m sure you are meant to bite your finger nails…
Kyz: Providing everything goes scarily to plan and they land on the 1km square of soil and not one of the millions of other easily landable spots we should easily succeed
AJ: To save money for your cheese fund we have put just enough fuel to land the shuttle on the meteor and then back to the proposed Gerridville landing spot.
Gerrid: Ah good.
Tannoy: PREPAIR TO LAUNCH IN 30 SECONDS. PLEASE FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS. KEEP YOUR ARMS AND LEGS INSIDE THE ADVANCED LUNAR SPACE SHUTTLE AT ALL TIMES. THANK YOU.
JBH: 10, 5, 8, 2, 9, 3, 6, 1 BLAAAAAAAST OFF!
TPhi: It’s great isn’t it?
Idlewild: Wonderful it is.
TPhi:
Scene 8:
Meka: There it is…
TPhi: No you fool there it is!
Meka: …That’s the sun(??)
TPhi: Ok fine well FU-
JBH: Kay that is where we will be drilling, yes that small yellow coloured landing spot.
Scene 9:
Gerrid: God I hope they are Ok.
AJ: Early signs show that the crew have landed and everything is going scarily to plan…
Chips: Good just as we predicted in a scary manner.
Scene 10:
JBH: LETS GET DRILLIN!
<30 minutes later>
JBH: There we are done!
Meka: Uh where is the detonator?
Idlewild: Heh I ate it hehehehe
TPhi: Oh no he’s insane
JBH:
Meka: We only have one hope…
Scene 11:
AJ: Gerrid the astronaughts have made their last transmission…
Gerrid: Why didn’t they like us?
AJ: The detonation device was lost on the journey so they are going to fly the shuttle into the meteor to blow it up…
Gerrid: Cool!
Chips: Poor souls…
AJ: Come on Gerrid we must prepare our statement to the nation…
Scene 12:
JBH: It has been a pleasure working with you guys…
TPhi: Likewise
Meka: If I’m gonna die with anyone I’m glad its you…
Idlewild: Personally I hate you all, I’d rather eat my skin off and then jump in a vat of a-
JBH: I’ll miss you all…
TPhi: Oh look here is the detonator-
The (Abrupt) End
****************
Thanks for reading.
Heh thanks guys
YeY!
gerridville at its best!
*Pootles*
gerridville at its best!
*Pootles*
Heh that was good :-)
Well done!
Well done!
The fame has gone to their heads *shakes head* poor little
They are bloody expensive, I know.
Heh cheers and the Moomins where to expensive (Darn royalties :-P)
Er...
You are unbeknown to the wonders of Gerrid?
And the Moomins!?
Bah!
And... Gerridville!?
You shall pay....
Anywaze, nice one, funny stuff
You are unbeknown to the wonders of Gerrid?
And the Moomins!?
Bah!
And... Gerridville!?
You shall pay....
Anywaze, nice one, funny stuff
That was worthy of the name.
Good job I don't live in (and aren't the mayor of) Gerridville anymore.
Well done.
Good job I don't live in (and aren't the mayor of) Gerridville anymore.
Well done.
Uh kind of amusing but who the hell is Gerrid!?
Foreword: Any offence taken by Gerrid or any other member of SR was unintentional and I am sorry. If Gerrid did take any offence he will beat me…SEVERLY and take away all wednesleydale privileges.
*****
Chapter 1
Gerrid walked into the conference room a great weight pressing on his mind, he continued to his chair before taking off his iron hat. "What news have you of the evil Mystique?" Gerrid enquired eyeing up the plate Wednesleydale cheese and spoons in the centre.
"Uh Sir it seems our last attack irradicated the last of her rebel forces" Microchips said shaking Gerrid from his daydream.
"Good, but if Mystique has been silenced then why did you call me here?"
"It seems-" Chips started
"There is a meteor heading straight for Gerridville Gerrid!" AJ finished bluntly.
"Does it bring Wednesleydale?" Gerrid asked.
"No just death Gerrid"
"Death with spoons?" Gerrid continued hopefully.
"GERRID THERE ARE NO SPOONS, WEDNESLEYDALE OR ANY OTHER FUN BRINGING ITEM!" AJ shouted slamming his fist on the table "I’m sorry old friend but this is serious, Gerridville will be destroyed in the blast should the meteor continue on its path"
"Is there any hope of survival?" Gerrid asked a hint of fear hanging in his voice.
"To be blunt sir we are screwed-" Microchips said holding his head in his hands.
"The important civilians and town representatives can be moved out to underground living quarters" AJ said sadly.
"Uh sirs that’s not…entirely true…", A figure on the far side of the table said nervously.
"What do you mean not true!?" Chips cried
"Chips let Kyz speak" Gerrid said raising his head.
"Well for a few months now we have been developing heavy weaponry and various other defence items for our battle against the evil Mystique" Kyz said
"A few months! In those few months we could have won several games and elected a Notable!" Gerrid shouted in an outraged disgust.
"Sir it was of the utmost importance that no information be released-"
"BY your god!?- uh not god mayor" Gerrid cried looking edgy.
"Sorry sir, anyway part of the mission was to develop orbital weaponry-"
"Why on earth would you develop killer chewing gum!?" Gerrid asked amazed.
"um no sir orbital as in space"
"ooooooh!" Gerrid sat back down in his chair as if loosing interest in any plan not involving gum or cheese.
"Anyway part of this was a space ship capable of long space journeys"
"So your saying…." AJ began.
"What I’m saying is that with the ship and some nukes we could blast this thing to high Hades!"
"We will find Gerridville’s finest drillers for the mission I will walk around supposedly doing nothing at all so as to see them in action" AJ declared.
The three got up and exited the room leaving Gerrid alone with the cheese…
Chapter 2
Judah was -as he usually did on a Sunday- aimlessly drilling holes in his wall. A small pile of dust had accumulated about his feet. He turned the music up to block out the voices in his head and continued smiling gormlessley.
AJ jogged through the sodden grass until after a while he heard drilling sound, he turned and saw Judah, drilling a hole in the wall "He’s amazing!" AJ said to himself. In the grass he sat watching in stunned silence as Judah effortlessly destroyed his bathroom wall. Judah turned to look out of the window at the whether outside and saw AJ sitting on his lawn, he ran outside ready to wallop AJ.
AJ saw Judah running towards him all drills blazing and shouted "STOP!" Judah slowed to a gentle anger and said "What do you want! I WAS DRILLING!"
"I am from GNMOD (Gerridville National Ministry Of Defence) I would like to recruit YOU and a team of your choice for our latest mission" Judah looked at AJ doubtfully
"Can I bring my drill?"
"Oh we will gives you a drill!"…
"This is our ship, and you lot will be staying here for a while so get used to it!" Kyz pointed to a huge ship and continued on. Judah Ben-Hur, Froots, El Blokey and RM18 follow him chatting about beer and the amount of walls they have drilled.
"Now that concludes our tour, any questions?" AJ asked as hands raised "We will provide drills remember" All of the hands went down and AJ sighed and said "Now we launch tomorrow so you had better all get some sleep"
Chapter 3
"The drillers launch tomorrow sir" Chips said to Gerrid at the round table.
"Excellent, then everything…is going… to plan…" Gerrid replied sly rubbing his hands together.
"Uh yes…Gerrid it is!" AJ replied confused.
"On to other news is there any sign from the evil Mystique?" Gerrid asked
"Nope we believe we have irradicated her forces for good now and the wench-mobile is safe!" Chips said with glee.
"Perfect then I can schedule a pootle with AJ this afternoon?"
"Already taken care of sir!" Kyz replied happily.
Chapter 4
The invisible wench rumbled along the deserted road dust rising from the path behind.
"So do you reckon we’ll live through this?" Gerrid asked AJ seriously for the first time.
"Nah we’ll probably vaporise on impact-" AJ said absent mindedley, Gerrid went into a stunned silence his bottom lip quivering.
"I mean yea we’ll all be fine roses will probably grow too"
"Good that’s what I thought" Gerrid smiled and turned back to the road.
Chapter 5
The street seemed to rumble below Dorothy’s feet as the crowds of people cascaded past her, pushing her around like flotsam in a river. Through her cataracts she could see the sky had turned from a pale never-ending blue to a fated dark grey colour. She never cared much for the sky, until she lost the main part of her sight that is, its funny how we miss things when they are gone… her thoughts turned to her late husband Elam, he never did tell her what he said he would, in the trenches during the great war. The people were everywhere like blades of grass in meadow now. Dorothy couldn’t stand the screaming in her ears, why were they screaming? Why was she screaming? Then her question was answered, the small comet propelled itself along the road melting, crumbling and killing as it went, it finally found its resting place and the explosion sent a ripple around the city, around the earth. All beings as far as the eye could see where scorched or ripped to shreds by the flying shrapnel from buildings.
Chapter 6:
"Uh sir?" Kyz said to Gerrid
"Yes"
"Uh Today a piece of the meteor flew into a part of Gerridville…in short we need to launch NOW!"
Gerrid nodded "Are the astronaughts ready to launch?"
"All taken care of sir"
***
Note: At this point the writer (me) had a sudden change of heart and decided on a totally different writing style…
***
Part 2
****
Scene 7:
JBH: Hehehe this should be fun…
TPhi: Uh Yea Looking forward to it…
Idlewild: Yup fun indeed shall come yet grave danger I sense in this
Meka Dragon: Yes master Idle but surely great things can be achieved?
Idlewild: Yes but fated this journey is…
Gerrid: God I hope this works
Chips: Yes sir but I’m sure you are meant to bite your finger nails…
Kyz: Providing everything goes scarily to plan and they land on the 1km square of soil and not one of the millions of other easily landable spots we should easily succeed
AJ: To save money for your cheese fund we have put just enough fuel to land the shuttle on the meteor and then back to the proposed Gerridville landing spot.
Gerrid: Ah good.
Tannoy: PREPAIR TO LAUNCH IN 30 SECONDS. PLEASE FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS. KEEP YOUR ARMS AND LEGS INSIDE THE ADVANCED LUNAR SPACE SHUTTLE AT ALL TIMES. THANK YOU.
JBH: 10, 5, 8, 2, 9, 3, 6, 1 BLAAAAAAAST OFF! We’ll I seem to have made a slight- AAAARRRGG HOLY SH-
TPhi: It’s great isn’t it?
Idlewild: Wonderful it is.
TPhi: Smoke weed you must not…
Scene 8:
Meka: There it is…
TPhi: No you fool there it is!
Meka: …That’s the sun(??)
TPhi: Ok fine well FU-
JBH: Kay that is where we will be drilling, yes that small yellow coloured landing spot.
Scene 9:
Gerrid: God I hope they are Ok.
AJ: Early signs show that the crew have landed and everything is going scarily to plan…
Chips: Good just as we predicted in a scary manner.
Scene 10:
JBH: LETS GET DRILLIN!
<30 minutes later>
JBH: There we are done!
Meka: Uh where is the detonator?
Idlewild: Heh I ate it hehehehe
TPhi: Oh no he’s insane
JBH: Well duh.
Meka: We only have one hope…
Scene 11:
AJ: Gerrid the astronaughts have made their last transmission…
Gerrid: Why didn’t they like us?
AJ: The detonation device was lost on the journey so they are going to fly the shuttle into the meteor to blow it up…
Gerrid: Cool!
Chips: Poor souls…
AJ: Come on Gerrid we must prepare our statement to the nation…
Scene 12:
JBH: It has been a pleasure working with you guys…
TPhi: Likewise
Meka: If I’m gonna die with anyone I’m glad its you…
Idlewild: Personally I hate you all, I’d rather eat my skin off and then jump in a vat of a-
JBH: I’ll miss you all…
TPhi: Oh look here is the detonator-
The (Abrupt) End
****************
Thanks for reading.
*****
Chapter 1
Gerrid walked into the conference room a great weight pressing on his mind, he continued to his chair before taking off his iron hat. "What news have you of the evil Mystique?" Gerrid enquired eyeing up the plate Wednesleydale cheese and spoons in the centre.
"Uh Sir it seems our last attack irradicated the last of her rebel forces" Microchips said shaking Gerrid from his daydream.
"Good, but if Mystique has been silenced then why did you call me here?"
"It seems-" Chips started
"There is a meteor heading straight for Gerridville Gerrid!" AJ finished bluntly.
"Does it bring Wednesleydale?" Gerrid asked.
"No just death Gerrid"
"Death with spoons?" Gerrid continued hopefully.
"GERRID THERE ARE NO SPOONS, WEDNESLEYDALE OR ANY OTHER FUN BRINGING ITEM!" AJ shouted slamming his fist on the table "I’m sorry old friend but this is serious, Gerridville will be destroyed in the blast should the meteor continue on its path"
"Is there any hope of survival?" Gerrid asked a hint of fear hanging in his voice.
"To be blunt sir we are screwed-" Microchips said holding his head in his hands.
"The important civilians and town representatives can be moved out to underground living quarters" AJ said sadly.
"Uh sirs that’s not…entirely true…", A figure on the far side of the table said nervously.
"What do you mean not true!?" Chips cried
"Chips let Kyz speak" Gerrid said raising his head.
"Well for a few months now we have been developing heavy weaponry and various other defence items for our battle against the evil Mystique" Kyz said
"A few months! In those few months we could have won several games and elected a Notable!" Gerrid shouted in an outraged disgust.
"Sir it was of the utmost importance that no information be released-"
"BY your god!?- uh not god mayor" Gerrid cried looking edgy.
"Sorry sir, anyway part of the mission was to develop orbital weaponry-"
"Why on earth would you develop killer chewing gum!?" Gerrid asked amazed.
"um no sir orbital as in space"
"ooooooh!" Gerrid sat back down in his chair as if loosing interest in any plan not involving gum or cheese.
"Anyway part of this was a space ship capable of long space journeys"
"So your saying…." AJ began.
"What I’m saying is that with the ship and some nukes we could blast this thing to high Hades!"
"We will find Gerridville’s finest drillers for the mission I will walk around supposedly doing nothing at all so as to see them in action" AJ declared.
The three got up and exited the room leaving Gerrid alone with the cheese…
Chapter 2
Judah was -as he usually did on a Sunday- aimlessly drilling holes in his wall. A small pile of dust had accumulated about his feet. He turned the music up to block out the voices in his head and continued smiling gormlessley.
AJ jogged through the sodden grass until after a while he heard drilling sound, he turned and saw Judah, drilling a hole in the wall "He’s amazing!" AJ said to himself. In the grass he sat watching in stunned silence as Judah effortlessly destroyed his bathroom wall. Judah turned to look out of the window at the whether outside and saw AJ sitting on his lawn, he ran outside ready to wallop AJ.
AJ saw Judah running towards him all drills blazing and shouted "STOP!" Judah slowed to a gentle anger and said "What do you want! I WAS DRILLING!"
"I am from GNMOD (Gerridville National Ministry Of Defence) I would like to recruit YOU and a team of your choice for our latest mission" Judah looked at AJ doubtfully
"Can I bring my drill?"
"Oh we will gives you a drill!"…
"This is our ship, and you lot will be staying here for a while so get used to it!" Kyz pointed to a huge ship and continued on. Judah Ben-Hur, Froots, El Blokey and RM18 follow him chatting about beer and the amount of walls they have drilled.
"Now that concludes our tour, any questions?" AJ asked as hands raised "We will provide drills remember" All of the hands went down and AJ sighed and said "Now we launch tomorrow so you had better all get some sleep"
Chapter 3
"The drillers launch tomorrow sir" Chips said to Gerrid at the round table.
"Excellent, then everything…is going… to plan…" Gerrid replied sly rubbing his hands together.
"Uh yes…Gerrid it is!" AJ replied confused.
"On to other news is there any sign from the evil Mystique?" Gerrid asked
"Nope we believe we have irradicated her forces for good now and the wench-mobile is safe!" Chips said with glee.
"Perfect then I can schedule a pootle with AJ this afternoon?"
"Already taken care of sir!" Kyz replied happily.
Chapter 4
The invisible wench rumbled along the deserted road dust rising from the path behind.
"So do you reckon we’ll live through this?" Gerrid asked AJ seriously for the first time.
"Nah we’ll probably vaporise on impact-" AJ said absent mindedley, Gerrid went into a stunned silence his bottom lip quivering.
"I mean yea we’ll all be fine roses will probably grow too"
"Good that’s what I thought" Gerrid smiled and turned back to the road.
Chapter 5
The street seemed to rumble below Dorothy’s feet as the crowds of people cascaded past her, pushing her around like flotsam in a river. Through her cataracts she could see the sky had turned from a pale never-ending blue to a fated dark grey colour. She never cared much for the sky, until she lost the main part of her sight that is, its funny how we miss things when they are gone… her thoughts turned to her late husband Elam, he never did tell her what he said he would, in the trenches during the great war. The people were everywhere like blades of grass in meadow now. Dorothy couldn’t stand the screaming in her ears, why were they screaming? Why was she screaming? Then her question was answered, the small comet propelled itself along the road melting, crumbling and killing as it went, it finally found its resting place and the explosion sent a ripple around the city, around the earth. All beings as far as the eye could see where scorched or ripped to shreds by the flying shrapnel from buildings.
Chapter 6:
"Uh sir?" Kyz said to Gerrid
"Yes"
"Uh Today a piece of the meteor flew into a part of Gerridville…in short we need to launch NOW!"
Gerrid nodded "Are the astronaughts ready to launch?"
"All taken care of sir"
***
Note: At this point the writer (me) had a sudden change of heart and decided on a totally different writing style…
***
Part 2
****
Scene 7:
JBH: Hehehe this should be fun…
TPhi:
Idlewild: Yup fun indeed shall come yet grave danger I sense in this
Meka Dragon: Yes master Idle but surely great things can be achieved?
Idlewild: Yes but fated this journey is…
Gerrid: God I hope this works
Chips: Yes sir but I’m sure you are meant to bite your finger nails…
Kyz: Providing everything goes scarily to plan and they land on the 1km square of soil and not one of the millions of other easily landable spots we should easily succeed
AJ: To save money for your cheese fund we have put just enough fuel to land the shuttle on the meteor and then back to the proposed Gerridville landing spot.
Gerrid: Ah good.
Tannoy: PREPAIR TO LAUNCH IN 30 SECONDS. PLEASE FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS. KEEP YOUR ARMS AND LEGS INSIDE THE ADVANCED LUNAR SPACE SHUTTLE AT ALL TIMES. THANK YOU.
JBH: 10, 5, 8, 2, 9, 3, 6, 1 BLAAAAAAAST OFF!
TPhi: It’s great isn’t it?
Idlewild: Wonderful it is.
TPhi:
Scene 8:
Meka: There it is…
TPhi: No you fool there it is!
Meka: …That’s the sun(??)
TPhi: Ok fine well FU-
JBH: Kay that is where we will be drilling, yes that small yellow coloured landing spot.
Scene 9:
Gerrid: God I hope they are Ok.
AJ: Early signs show that the crew have landed and everything is going scarily to plan…
Chips: Good just as we predicted in a scary manner.
Scene 10:
JBH: LETS GET DRILLIN!
<30 minutes later>
JBH: There we are done!
Meka: Uh where is the detonator?
Idlewild: Heh I ate it hehehehe
TPhi: Oh no he’s insane
JBH:
Meka: We only have one hope…
Scene 11:
AJ: Gerrid the astronaughts have made their last transmission…
Gerrid: Why didn’t they like us?
AJ: The detonation device was lost on the journey so they are going to fly the shuttle into the meteor to blow it up…
Gerrid: Cool!
Chips: Poor souls…
AJ: Come on Gerrid we must prepare our statement to the nation…
Scene 12:
JBH: It has been a pleasure working with you guys…
TPhi: Likewise
Meka: If I’m gonna die with anyone I’m glad its you…
Idlewild: Personally I hate you all, I’d rather eat my skin off and then jump in a vat of a-
JBH: I’ll miss you all…
TPhi: Oh look here is the detonator-
The (Abrupt) End
****************
Thanks for reading.