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Perhaps you are stressed from your job, irritated that you don’t have a supermodel girlfriend and a fast car, or perhaps you cant get your hands on the sweet, sweet liquor that makes it all ok and blurry. It doesn’t matter why you are angry; here is a guide to take out your vicious rage on your console without smashing it over someone’s skull.
You need to play a game that will give maximum satisfaction and allow you to beat the living daylights out of a pixelated character. The game cannot be too tricky because that would multiply the rage and cause you to commit assault on the checkout assistant at Tesco, or that scumbag window cleaner that has been eyeing up your woman.
Without further ado, I present to you The Top Ten Anger Management Games!
1 – The old classic that is the Tekken series. Crank it down to easy mode and select one of the better characters such as Law or Lei. One way to take out your rage is to beat the computer opponent on easy whilst listening to some insanely heavy metal music. But why leave it at that? Turn the stereo up a notch, plug in the player 2 controller and beat them up without them fighting back at all. Bliss, no?
2 – Any Smackdown title should provide enough satisfactory simplistic violence to satisfy the needs of even the craziest of us. Not only can you use the easy setting and powerbomb your opponent time and time again without a time limit or health meter to stop you, you can also use the “Create a wrestler” mode to replicate the person your anger is focused on. For added effects turn the blood option on and hit them again and again with a folding chair, then watch and laugh as they stumble out of the ring.
3 – Moving on from unloading your rage onto your console, why not unleash it on the internet. Take a strategy game you are very good at, something along the lines of Age of Empires or Command and Conquer. Go to the website and search for newbies games and then join one. Not only can you destroy all of your opponents in the blink of an eyelid, you can also type patronising comments to them as you crush their pitiful empire.
4 – What more effective way to recreate a killing spree than a fast paced first person shooter? Join a game of quake or unreal tournament online and slaughter anyone and everyone in your path with a range of weapons so you have the option to pump your opposition full of lead or blow their limbs off with a rocket. For added stress relief you can kill fellow team members and watch and they type geeky comments to you.
5- An effective way to displace anger is a power trip. The Sims gives you the rush of power to need, and more. Build your Sim a dingy little house where they can live in squalor and watch as they suffer and wet themselves pathetically. It makes you realise you aren’t such a mad person after all. To take your power trip to the extreme you can delete the door to the house to prevent your Sim escaping or you can let them get in the pool and delete the stairs to ensure certain death.
6 – A simplistic yet effective way to unleash your anger on the three dimensional world is the “Invincibility” cheat. This is probably at its peak in the likes of Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64. Switch the invincible cheat on, and if you are feeling craft go for the invisible cheat too. Then select a random level and run up to each and every guard and slap them to death, this is particularly funny. If explosions are more of your thing then turn the unlimited ammo cheat on and 2 x rocket launchers cheat too. Now you can scorch guards and henchmen alike with lovely fire!
7 – If you aren’t satisfied by shooting and pillaging perhaps you need to take your savage intentions to a larger scale. Turn to an old classic, Roller Coaster Tycoon. You should build an impressive roller coaster, switch it to be “power launched” and then set it on target for a large mass or water, or even worse, a gift shop! Look on as the little pixelly people squeal in delight before been burn to a crisp in your theme park foyer.
8 – If the Roller Coaster Tycoon option just isn’t enough for you, this one certainly will be. Take your rage to an international level and butcher thousands of citizens with the push of a button. No you aren’t George Bush; you are in fact playing Sim City. At your disposal are several “natural disasters” to cause utter chaos in your humble little city. If you enjoy seeing the innocent civilians suffering then refuse to build any hospital or fire services in the city so it will slowly and surely be burnt to ashes in your self inflicted meteor shower.
9 – Tony Hawk’s games are an ample way to silence those horrible voices that plague your head on a night. Make sure the blood option is turned on and then leap around slamming your skater into walls, floors and trains. You can hear the character scream pathetically as their head thuds on the floor and blood splutters onto the sidewalk. This can take away even the most dastardly of rages and leave you cured except with a devastating urge to trip up skaters in the park…
10 – The final method of cheering you up and taking out that intolerable rage is NHL Hitz. Simple to control, all you need to do is grit your teeth and smash an opposition through the glass or get in a fight. Feel better already? Of course you do, you just knocked that guys front teeth out! This game is violence based and the results are brilliant, you will be as docile as a rhino on tranquillisers after playing this game.
If none of the above methods get rid of your anger and symptoms persist, please contact your local mental asylum and admit yourself immediately.
-Kyz²²-
You need to play a game that will give maximum satisfaction and allow you to beat the living daylights out of a pixelated character. The game cannot be too tricky because that would multiply the rage and cause you to commit assault on the checkout assistant at Tesco, or that scumbag window cleaner that has been eyeing up your woman.
Without further ado, I present to you The Top Ten Anger Management Games!
1 – The old classic that is the Tekken series. Crank it down to easy mode and select one of the better characters such as Law or Lei. One way to take out your rage is to beat the computer opponent on easy whilst listening to some insanely heavy metal music. But why leave it at that? Turn the stereo up a notch, plug in the player 2 controller and beat them up without them fighting back at all. Bliss, no?
2 – Any Smackdown title should provide enough satisfactory simplistic violence to satisfy the needs of even the craziest of us. Not only can you use the easy setting and powerbomb your opponent time and time again without a time limit or health meter to stop you, you can also use the “Create a wrestler” mode to replicate the person your anger is focused on. For added effects turn the blood option on and hit them again and again with a folding chair, then watch and laugh as they stumble out of the ring.
3 – Moving on from unloading your rage onto your console, why not unleash it on the internet. Take a strategy game you are very good at, something along the lines of Age of Empires or Command and Conquer. Go to the website and search for newbies games and then join one. Not only can you destroy all of your opponents in the blink of an eyelid, you can also type patronising comments to them as you crush their pitiful empire.
4 – What more effective way to recreate a killing spree than a fast paced first person shooter? Join a game of quake or unreal tournament online and slaughter anyone and everyone in your path with a range of weapons so you have the option to pump your opposition full of lead or blow their limbs off with a rocket. For added stress relief you can kill fellow team members and watch and they type geeky comments to you.
5- An effective way to displace anger is a power trip. The Sims gives you the rush of power to need, and more. Build your Sim a dingy little house where they can live in squalor and watch as they suffer and wet themselves pathetically. It makes you realise you aren’t such a mad person after all. To take your power trip to the extreme you can delete the door to the house to prevent your Sim escaping or you can let them get in the pool and delete the stairs to ensure certain death.
6 – A simplistic yet effective way to unleash your anger on the three dimensional world is the “Invincibility” cheat. This is probably at its peak in the likes of Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64. Switch the invincible cheat on, and if you are feeling craft go for the invisible cheat too. Then select a random level and run up to each and every guard and slap them to death, this is particularly funny. If explosions are more of your thing then turn the unlimited ammo cheat on and 2 x rocket launchers cheat too. Now you can scorch guards and henchmen alike with lovely fire!
7 – If you aren’t satisfied by shooting and pillaging perhaps you need to take your savage intentions to a larger scale. Turn to an old classic, Roller Coaster Tycoon. You should build an impressive roller coaster, switch it to be “power launched” and then set it on target for a large mass or water, or even worse, a gift shop! Look on as the little pixelly people squeal in delight before been burn to a crisp in your theme park foyer.
8 – If the Roller Coaster Tycoon option just isn’t enough for you, this one certainly will be. Take your rage to an international level and butcher thousands of citizens with the push of a button. No you aren’t George Bush; you are in fact playing Sim City. At your disposal are several “natural disasters” to cause utter chaos in your humble little city. If you enjoy seeing the innocent civilians suffering then refuse to build any hospital or fire services in the city so it will slowly and surely be burnt to ashes in your self inflicted meteor shower.
9 – Tony Hawk’s games are an ample way to silence those horrible voices that plague your head on a night. Make sure the blood option is turned on and then leap around slamming your skater into walls, floors and trains. You can hear the character scream pathetically as their head thuds on the floor and blood splutters onto the sidewalk. This can take away even the most dastardly of rages and leave you cured except with a devastating urge to trip up skaters in the park…
10 – The final method of cheering you up and taking out that intolerable rage is NHL Hitz. Simple to control, all you need to do is grit your teeth and smash an opposition through the glass or get in a fight. Feel better already? Of course you do, you just knocked that guys front teeth out! This game is violence based and the results are brilliant, you will be as docile as a rhino on tranquillisers after playing this game.
If none of the above methods get rid of your anger and symptoms persist, please contact your local mental asylum and admit yourself immediately.
-Kyz²²-
Rage is best managed with boxing gloves and something to hit.
Was the question, "What is the answer to everything" ?
Kyz22 wrote:
> Age of Empires IS the answer for everything! Why do you thinks its the
> one game Bill Gates wanted to be affiliated with [In the form of
> Microsoft] heh!
I wrote Age Of Empires in my Maths Exam once, so, it's NOT the answer for everything, as, *Gets Exam result back*.... OK, i guess it IS the answer for everything.
> Age of Empires IS the answer for everything! Why do you thinks its the
> one game Bill Gates wanted to be affiliated with [In the form of
> Microsoft] heh!
I wrote Age Of Empires in my Maths Exam once, so, it's NOT the answer for everything, as, *Gets Exam result back*.... OK, i guess it IS the answer for everything.
The Medal of Honour series is good too, it's hard to beat blowing away Nazis with a Thompson submachine gun.
That was quite good Kyz22!
At least you have these topic ideas, I haven't been able to think of one for days!
At least you have these topic ideas, I haven't been able to think of one for days!
Age of Empires IS the answer for everything! Why do you thinks its the one game Bill Gates wanted to be affiliated with [In the form of Microsoft] heh!
Super Smash Bros is also good for Anger management, and AOE seems to be your answer for everything.
Perhaps you are stressed from your job, irritated that you don’t have a supermodel girlfriend and a fast car, or perhaps you cant get your hands on the sweet, sweet liquor that makes it all ok and blurry. It doesn’t matter why you are angry; here is a guide to take out your vicious rage on your console without smashing it over someone’s skull.
You need to play a game that will give maximum satisfaction and allow you to beat the living daylights out of a pixelated character. The game cannot be too tricky because that would multiply the rage and cause you to commit assault on the checkout assistant at Tesco, or that scumbag window cleaner that has been eyeing up your woman.
Without further ado, I present to you The Top Ten Anger Management Games!
1 – The old classic that is the Tekken series. Crank it down to easy mode and select one of the better characters such as Law or Lei. One way to take out your rage is to beat the computer opponent on easy whilst listening to some insanely heavy metal music. But why leave it at that? Turn the stereo up a notch, plug in the player 2 controller and beat them up without them fighting back at all. Bliss, no?
2 – Any Smackdown title should provide enough satisfactory simplistic violence to satisfy the needs of even the craziest of us. Not only can you use the easy setting and powerbomb your opponent time and time again without a time limit or health meter to stop you, you can also use the “Create a wrestler” mode to replicate the person your anger is focused on. For added effects turn the blood option on and hit them again and again with a folding chair, then watch and laugh as they stumble out of the ring.
3 – Moving on from unloading your rage onto your console, why not unleash it on the internet. Take a strategy game you are very good at, something along the lines of Age of Empires or Command and Conquer. Go to the website and search for newbies games and then join one. Not only can you destroy all of your opponents in the blink of an eyelid, you can also type patronising comments to them as you crush their pitiful empire.
4 – What more effective way to recreate a killing spree than a fast paced first person shooter? Join a game of quake or unreal tournament online and slaughter anyone and everyone in your path with a range of weapons so you have the option to pump your opposition full of lead or blow their limbs off with a rocket. For added stress relief you can kill fellow team members and watch and they type geeky comments to you.
5- An effective way to displace anger is a power trip. The Sims gives you the rush of power to need, and more. Build your Sim a dingy little house where they can live in squalor and watch as they suffer and wet themselves pathetically. It makes you realise you aren’t such a mad person after all. To take your power trip to the extreme you can delete the door to the house to prevent your Sim escaping or you can let them get in the pool and delete the stairs to ensure certain death.
6 – A simplistic yet effective way to unleash your anger on the three dimensional world is the “Invincibility” cheat. This is probably at its peak in the likes of Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64. Switch the invincible cheat on, and if you are feeling craft go for the invisible cheat too. Then select a random level and run up to each and every guard and slap them to death, this is particularly funny. If explosions are more of your thing then turn the unlimited ammo cheat on and 2 x rocket launchers cheat too. Now you can scorch guards and henchmen alike with lovely fire!
7 – If you aren’t satisfied by shooting and pillaging perhaps you need to take your savage intentions to a larger scale. Turn to an old classic, Roller Coaster Tycoon. You should build an impressive roller coaster, switch it to be “power launched” and then set it on target for a large mass or water, or even worse, a gift shop! Look on as the little pixelly people squeal in delight before been burn to a crisp in your theme park foyer.
8 – If the Roller Coaster Tycoon option just isn’t enough for you, this one certainly will be. Take your rage to an international level and butcher thousands of citizens with the push of a button. No you aren’t George Bush; you are in fact playing Sim City. At your disposal are several “natural disasters” to cause utter chaos in your humble little city. If you enjoy seeing the innocent civilians suffering then refuse to build any hospital or fire services in the city so it will slowly and surely be burnt to ashes in your self inflicted meteor shower.
9 – Tony Hawk’s games are an ample way to silence those horrible voices that plague your head on a night. Make sure the blood option is turned on and then leap around slamming your skater into walls, floors and trains. You can hear the character scream pathetically as their head thuds on the floor and blood splutters onto the sidewalk. This can take away even the most dastardly of rages and leave you cured except with a devastating urge to trip up skaters in the park…
10 – The final method of cheering you up and taking out that intolerable rage is NHL Hitz. Simple to control, all you need to do is grit your teeth and smash an opposition through the glass or get in a fight. Feel better already? Of course you do, you just knocked that guys front teeth out! This game is violence based and the results are brilliant, you will be as docile as a rhino on tranquillisers after playing this game.
If none of the above methods get rid of your anger and symptoms persist, please contact your local mental asylum and admit yourself immediately.
-Kyz²²-
You need to play a game that will give maximum satisfaction and allow you to beat the living daylights out of a pixelated character. The game cannot be too tricky because that would multiply the rage and cause you to commit assault on the checkout assistant at Tesco, or that scumbag window cleaner that has been eyeing up your woman.
Without further ado, I present to you The Top Ten Anger Management Games!
1 – The old classic that is the Tekken series. Crank it down to easy mode and select one of the better characters such as Law or Lei. One way to take out your rage is to beat the computer opponent on easy whilst listening to some insanely heavy metal music. But why leave it at that? Turn the stereo up a notch, plug in the player 2 controller and beat them up without them fighting back at all. Bliss, no?
2 – Any Smackdown title should provide enough satisfactory simplistic violence to satisfy the needs of even the craziest of us. Not only can you use the easy setting and powerbomb your opponent time and time again without a time limit or health meter to stop you, you can also use the “Create a wrestler” mode to replicate the person your anger is focused on. For added effects turn the blood option on and hit them again and again with a folding chair, then watch and laugh as they stumble out of the ring.
3 – Moving on from unloading your rage onto your console, why not unleash it on the internet. Take a strategy game you are very good at, something along the lines of Age of Empires or Command and Conquer. Go to the website and search for newbies games and then join one. Not only can you destroy all of your opponents in the blink of an eyelid, you can also type patronising comments to them as you crush their pitiful empire.
4 – What more effective way to recreate a killing spree than a fast paced first person shooter? Join a game of quake or unreal tournament online and slaughter anyone and everyone in your path with a range of weapons so you have the option to pump your opposition full of lead or blow their limbs off with a rocket. For added stress relief you can kill fellow team members and watch and they type geeky comments to you.
5- An effective way to displace anger is a power trip. The Sims gives you the rush of power to need, and more. Build your Sim a dingy little house where they can live in squalor and watch as they suffer and wet themselves pathetically. It makes you realise you aren’t such a mad person after all. To take your power trip to the extreme you can delete the door to the house to prevent your Sim escaping or you can let them get in the pool and delete the stairs to ensure certain death.
6 – A simplistic yet effective way to unleash your anger on the three dimensional world is the “Invincibility” cheat. This is probably at its peak in the likes of Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64. Switch the invincible cheat on, and if you are feeling craft go for the invisible cheat too. Then select a random level and run up to each and every guard and slap them to death, this is particularly funny. If explosions are more of your thing then turn the unlimited ammo cheat on and 2 x rocket launchers cheat too. Now you can scorch guards and henchmen alike with lovely fire!
7 – If you aren’t satisfied by shooting and pillaging perhaps you need to take your savage intentions to a larger scale. Turn to an old classic, Roller Coaster Tycoon. You should build an impressive roller coaster, switch it to be “power launched” and then set it on target for a large mass or water, or even worse, a gift shop! Look on as the little pixelly people squeal in delight before been burn to a crisp in your theme park foyer.
8 – If the Roller Coaster Tycoon option just isn’t enough for you, this one certainly will be. Take your rage to an international level and butcher thousands of citizens with the push of a button. No you aren’t George Bush; you are in fact playing Sim City. At your disposal are several “natural disasters” to cause utter chaos in your humble little city. If you enjoy seeing the innocent civilians suffering then refuse to build any hospital or fire services in the city so it will slowly and surely be burnt to ashes in your self inflicted meteor shower.
9 – Tony Hawk’s games are an ample way to silence those horrible voices that plague your head on a night. Make sure the blood option is turned on and then leap around slamming your skater into walls, floors and trains. You can hear the character scream pathetically as their head thuds on the floor and blood splutters onto the sidewalk. This can take away even the most dastardly of rages and leave you cured except with a devastating urge to trip up skaters in the park…
10 – The final method of cheering you up and taking out that intolerable rage is NHL Hitz. Simple to control, all you need to do is grit your teeth and smash an opposition through the glass or get in a fight. Feel better already? Of course you do, you just knocked that guys front teeth out! This game is violence based and the results are brilliant, you will be as docile as a rhino on tranquillisers after playing this game.
If none of the above methods get rid of your anger and symptoms persist, please contact your local mental asylum and admit yourself immediately.
-Kyz²²-