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[Asher D staggers across the stage]
Offstage: Oi Gerrof the damn stage you fool!
[Asher looks around quickly]
Asher: Wha!?
[He staggers into the camera and red engulfs the screen]
Scene 1:
?????: Vere iz de Lunar Cannon!?
JBH: I-I-I don’t… know…
[The hooded man slaps JBH in the face]
?????: Vere iz it!?
JBH: [He drops his head and sighs] It’s at the top of the Eiffel Tower….
?????: Why hide it in America?
JBH: NOT AMERICA YOU FOOL!
[The hooded figure pulls out a gun]
?????: Nobody calls me a fool…(except you…) [he shoots JBH in the head] (Aside) hm not I must face ze challenge of findink ze Lunar Cannon on my own (out Loud) Minion! [in runs AJ]
AJ: Yes sir.
?????: Tell Azul zat ze Lunar Cannon is in the ‘Eiffel Tower’…
AJ: Yes Sir! [AJ Runs out]
?????: (Aside) Soon ve vill begin our planz…
BEARDS.: Sir I am here for apparently no reason but for some extra word count for the writer…
?????: Indeed vell I think you are here to annoy me in a predictably fated situation
BEARDS.: Ow! That REALLY hurt you fool! No more GADs for you
?????: Henchman number 4…
Henchman number 4: Ve need a new Henchman number 9…
Scene 2:
Stryke:…and that is how we plan to get out tea and biscuits to us 35 seconds faster. [Maddmun and Tribute grin and clap] now on to a lighter note… Last night one of our top agents was found with a gunshot wound to the head, his arms and legs hacked off and a note stuffed up his nose saying: We are here to destroy the world, you will never defeat the 3 Villains; Azul, Drunk Cow and Slik.
Tribute: So do you know who did it?
Stryke: No we are totally at a loss [scratched head] but we think they might be Smurfs.
Maddmun: Ah, makes sense, they are blue (invisible) so they could destroy the Earth easily.
Tribute: Ah but they are pretty funny [goes into a sort of trance] hehehe, how are you so small Papa Smurf?…
Kyz: Tribute, Maddmun come with me, I have some new gadgets to show you…(I got them from SR!)
Kyz: This is a Mini USB drive (Only £99.99)
Tribute: Riiiight…Tell me is there ANYTHING in here that could actually help us?
Kyz: Uh
Tribute: Gun
Kyz: No
Tribute: Mini rappel wire?
Kyz: No
Tribute: Hand-held PC?
Kyz:…Uh…No
Tribute: Ok then
Scene 3:
Azul: Have we any news on the Lunar Cannon?
Slik: It has been found in the Eiffel Tower, so as not to alert suspicion we have set it up there.
Drunk Cow: So he is doing well then?
Slik: Yes nobody suspects a thing...soon…we will destroy the moon sending the earth into a state of total collapse…
Scene 4:
Stryke: We have news of a mole in the ministry inside MI6 I urge you all to be on special alert
Tilta: So Vat dos dis mole look like?
Stryke: Well they will probably be female have an odd accent and ask a lot of questions…
Tribute: Well then it could be anyone.
Stryke: I’m afraid so 0069.
Tilta: Heh soon you vil all see…
Stryke: Excuse me?
Tilta: Uh soon you vil see my breasts…
Edgy: Uh anyway Stryke I believe you have a mission for Maddmun and Tribute?
Stryke: Uh yes 0069, 0071 I want you two to infiltrate the lair of the villains.
Maddmun: Where is it hidden?
Stryke: It is in a cave near hear one of our agents will show you.
Tilta: I’m afraid I cannot accompany you on this mission 0069 I have business to attend to…
Edgy: Do you think they will make it?
Stryke: Nah they’ll probably di- I mean sure they are the dimmest (Damn) I mean best we have…
Scene 5:
Tribute: I think somebody has been eating here
Maddmun: Look…over there
*****
Scene 5 Part Maddmun:
Maddmun: Die!
DC: We have you surrounded (By a group of incompetent guards which you will inevitably kill of just after we get away) Come let us go!
Maddmun: Tribute where are you
Tribute:
Maddmun: Well then it looks like it’s up to me
Maddmun: Hm in a predictably stupid fit of panic they seem to have left their plans for world domination in a shockingly easy place for me to find… Damn I’m good!
Tribute: [pant] Sorry about that [pant]
Maddmun: Where the hell have you been?
Tribute: I found Tilta, it appears she was working for the other side?
Maddmun: You mean she’s a lesbien?…Cool!
Tribute: No you idiot I mean she was evil!
Maddmun: Oh right, what do you mean was?
Tribute:
Maddmun: Oh…Okey Dokey! Come on lets go before (in an inevitable stroke of luck) this place blows up…
Scene 5 Part Tribute:
Tribute: Well hello!
Tilta: Hello…Well enough of the small talk lets make love!… Rampantly
Tribute: My dear…
Maddmun: Where are you!
Tribute: I’ll be there in a minute I’m a bit tied up at the moment…
Scene 6:
Stryke: We have found out the whereabouts of the 3 villains once more, they are hiding in the local ALDI and they plan to activate the Lunar Cannon from there.
Tribute: Maddmun come on we have to go and not kill them but stop them and let them get away ready for the next adventure!
Maddmun: Right!
Scene 7:
Slik: Ah Mr Tribute, Mr Maddmun nice of you to join us.
Tribute: The show is over you big meanies!
Maddmun: I didn’t see that coming!…NOOOOOO!
Scene 8:
Stryke: I’m sorry Maddmun. He was one of our best agents and you made the best team MI6 has ever had.
Maddmun: …
Kyz22: I’ll miss him. I know you will too…
Edgy: The department has given you a weeks leave.
Maddmun: No… I want to stay
Edgy: Things have got personal you can’t involve yourself, we have a new agent 0069 to finish of the duo.
Maddmun: But-
Edgy: No buts, you are going home.
Maddmun: Who is the new 0069?
Edgy: You will find out in due time.
Maddmun: I want to get those evil fiends!
Edgy: I can’t tell you the whereabouts…but I suppose that if they were hiding they might be in the local ASDA…
Maddmun: I don’t care what you- hey do you mean…
Edgy:… All I’m saying is that if someone where to be informed that is what they would know…
Maddmun: Thanks…
Edgy: I’m just sorry I couldn’t be of any help…
Scene 9:
Stryke: Do you think it will work then?
Edgy: I just hope Maddmun won’t resent it…
Stryke: We need the best for 0069 though…Maddmun will understand that.
Edgy: I hope you are right.
Stryke: So do I…
Stryke: Come in!
Kyz22: Have you told Maddmun yet?
Stryke: No…He has gone to avenge Tribute’s Death
Kyz22: Ah…
Stryke: God I hope he makes it…
Scene 10:
Maddmun:
Azul: I don’t know about this maybe we could just shoot someone?
Slik: No we have to destroy the world.
Azul: Ah but that’s mean!
Slik: Come now we must arm the cannon. I will hear no more of your insolence!
Slik: Now we press this button and the weapon is armed…
Maddmun: STOP RIGHT THERE!
Slik: We surrender!
Maddmun: Ha did your pal give Tribute the chance to surrender!?
Maddmun: Now you will die!
Scene 11:
Maddmun: I’ll miss you Tribute… you where the best partner a man could ever have…
Tribute: You to where the best partner I could wish for. I will never forget everything you have done for me…
Maddmun: But we were a team…I-I don’t know if I will be able to carry on…
Tribute: Yes you will, you will avenge my death in more ways than you know.
Maddmun: You are right.
Tribute: I’ll miss you my friend
Maddmun: I’ll miss you too…
Little Girl: Look mommy a gunny!
Mother: Aaaaargh
Little Girl: Hehe mommy gonned hehehe
Scene 12:
Maddmun: I’m alright now, I did what I had to…
Stryke: Good we knew you would do it.
Maddmun: So who is the new 0069?
Stryke: The new 0069? I am glad to inform you that the new 0069 is… YOU!
Maddmun: Me!?
Stryke: You are the best agent MI6 has and you of all people deserve to take over…
Maddmun: So who is the new 0071?
Edgy: I’ll field that one…0071!
Edgy: This is our latest agent just passed his final examinations.
Maddmun: KYZ22!?
Kyz22: Hey
Maddmun: I hope you are ready for the responsibility…
Kyz22: I am ready for whatever you throw at me…
Maddmun: Heh you weren’t ready for that now where you?
Stryke: Really 0069!
Scene 12:
Maddmun: I’ll miss you Tribute… you where the best partner a man could ever have…
Tribute: You to where the best partner I could wish for. I will never forget everything you have done for me…
Maddmun: But we were a team…I-I don’t know if I will be able to carry on…
Tribute: Yes you will, you will avenge my death in more ways than you know.
Maddmun: You are right.
Tribute: I’ll miss you my friend
Maddmun: I’ll miss you too…
Little Girl: Look mommy a gunny!
Mother: Aaaaargh
Little Girl: Hehe mommy gonned hehehe
****************
THE END
****************
0069 WILL RETURN…
****************
ALTERNATE ENDING 1
****************
Chapter 12:
Stryke: The new 0069? That is Kyz22
Maddmun: But he’s not an agent!?
Stryke: Oh contrare, in fact he has been ‘undercover’ in the MOD for over a year now.
Maddmun: So I will be working along-side him?
Kyz22: Exactly 0071.
Maddmun: Sorry he was just annoying me…
Stryke: Really 0071!
*****************
ALTERNATE ENDING 2
*****************
Scene 12:
Stryke: The new 0069? Ah well we had to give that to… Asher D as we had nobody else to give it to..
Maddmun:
Asher D: Hehehehe ah hahahaha I’m 0069 now!
Asher D:
*******************
CAST:
Bond: Tribute
Sidekick (New bond): Maddmun
M: Stryke
M’s counterpart: Edgy
Q: Kyz22
Baddies: Drunk Cow, Tiltawhirl, Slik, Azul
Drunk: Asher D
********************
Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for readin - RF
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Well, it was pretty bad, really, i mean i wasn't in it.
Hmmm.
I'm going to be honest here.
It wasn't the greatest ever spoof, but it wasn't too bad.
I'm going to be honest here.
It wasn't the greatest ever spoof, but it wasn't too bad.
I couldn't get everyone in :( oh and El Blokey Have you never seen a bond collection! Go Jerk Off
Hey! I swear I was meant to be in that... Mmmph. I should have been...
Yay. Let's take a fairly successful idea and do it again and again ad nauseum!
*Dances*
Woot woot.
Woot woot.
No Maddmun is the new 0069 the others where just alternate the real one was Maddmun. It was just a bit extra...:S
Now there are three 0069's...
*Tries to think*
*Goes into overload*
*Explodes*
Ah..
Nice one. Yup. And Coco Pops suck donkey balls.
*Tries to think*
*Goes into overload*
*Explodes*
Ah..
Nice one. Yup. And Coco Pops suck donkey balls.
I was kind of confused because scene 11 repeated itself but it was still a great read. I ended but killing the series. GO ME!!!!:-D
Great series and great spoof RP
Great series and great spoof RP
This went well with my coco pops, class read mate :-)
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