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The story of Jake La Motta in Raging Bull is a tragic one, but it is nothing compared to the suffering and fall from grace of Mario, once Nintendo's stalwart - The story of "Raging Plumber."
Mario started life in a small town in Italy that no one knows the name of. Possibly because it doesn't exist, who can say? He suffered disfortune from an early age - his brother Luigi was far bigger than him, in all areas. He never had any luck with the ladies, poor Mario. All he could do was study stereotypical Italian-English, the poor lad. He really mastered those "A-'s".His trademark phrase was first pioneered when Luigi beat him to a pulp, believing him to be a very fat cat-burglar. "It's a-me, It's a-Mar...arrrrgh..." wasn't very sucessful at first. He didn't change it until years later, when a chance meeting with Shigsy in Venice Strip Club led to interviews with Nintendo top people for the official position of mascot. At last Mario felt a calling. It all went swimmingly from there, once they taught the fat man to swim. Unfortunately, Mario had never entered puberty, so they improvised the bushy moustache with Shigsy's dressing gown and a sharp pair of scissors.
He had a co-star, the beautiful Princess Daisy. She hated her brace-wearing hero.
"Yes, the man was so uncouth. That belly of his is caused by too many beers. And his false moustauche looks so.....70's!" commented Daisy, from her vastly overpriced mansion.
But that never held back Mario. He even forgave his brother, Luigi, who was at the time working in P.R. The tall, thin ladies man was flown to Japan with all haste. Mario believes these were the crowning years of his work. Even the sets were beautiful.
"Yeah, the sets and graphics were top-notch. Really captured my...wossname...inner beauty. Yeah." commented Luigi.
They loved their new villian, Bowser-Koopa-Whatever. It was of course, Shigsy playing around with some green makeup and a metallic bath, but they never knew. Until now, of course.
"THAT GIT! I *censored. Have a cookie. It'll be a while* with a mincer!" yelled Luigi, on finding out.
Things started to go downhill for the team when Mario's Budhist guru, Sonic, betrayed Mario to work for Sega. Although things appeared normal, the team was beginning to fall apart.
"Well, he used to appear for work all dishevelled. Often he'd have..oh...half a pint. It's his size, you know. He's only 5cm tall, the poor man. It'd go straight to his head. While we're at it, I really hated his sideburns." said Daisy.
One day the confrontation with Sonic came to a head at a conference in Tokoyo, and Sonic beat Mario senseless before flouncing off with his hired fun, Tails.
"I don't think Mario ever really recovered from that. And why didn't I think of making Mario gay? I could have played his lover!" yelled Shigsy, before running off.
By the time of the N64, which Shigsy had made with the remainders of his beloved dressing gown and two medium sized breeze blocks, Mario was deeply hooked on milk.
"We tried to get him off it, onto something normal, like weed, cocaine or even leomade, but he would be shelling out his wages on milk. Milk, every day! No-one could take that." sobbed Luigi, before being consoled by WWF star Stone Cold Steve Austin.
The milk addiction was tearing his life apart, but Mario still starred in Mario 64.
"You that face-strectching thing at the start? That was real. We had to constantly massage his face to keep the milk flowing." whooped Shigsy.
After Mario 64, Mario just disappeared. Luigi searched for him everywhere, but was distracted by Daisy's overtures and spent many a long day frolicking with her in that pink mansion. You know, looking at squirrels, and stuff. Mario was singing famous Bee-Gees hits at a club in Basingstoke.
"He was great. Without that moustache, I didn't recognise him! He downed a pint of milk a night. JeSUS, that man could drink!" commented Jim McbarTender, who didn't wish to be named. Sod him.
So where does this put Mario now? He was thrown in prision for stealing milk from football star David Beckhams house.
"I didn't want to create a scene, but it's MY MILK, and Victoria loves it so on her Kelloggs Special K. You heard it, Special K, now with RED BERRIES! Eat it, the Beckhams do!" said Beckham, before being handed a large wad of cash.
We managed to get an interview with Mario in prision. The man is a state.
" I dont-a know where I went'a wrong. I'm only 47, me whole a-life was ahead of me. What do you mean, I'm short and I have no friends?"
He's finally grown his own moustache. Apparently makes him more attractive to the ladies. He hoped Diasy would be waiting for him. HA!
So Shigsy, in desperation, re-did some classic Mario hits for the GBA, signed Sonic for a GBA appearance, and gave Luigi his first starring role. But we will always remember a rotund plumber, who threw it all away. He also doesn't think red goes well with his eyes. Let's face it, the guy was a muppet.
Hope you enjoyed, just an idea I had in my exam today,
Cheers,
Stryke.
Mario started life in a small town in Italy that no one knows the name of. Possibly because it doesn't exist, who can say? He suffered disfortune from an early age - his brother Luigi was far bigger than him, in all areas. He never had any luck with the ladies, poor Mario. All he could do was study stereotypical Italian-English, the poor lad. He really mastered those "A-'s".His trademark phrase was first pioneered when Luigi beat him to a pulp, believing him to be a very fat cat-burglar. "It's a-me, It's a-Mar...arrrrgh..." wasn't very sucessful at first. He didn't change it until years later, when a chance meeting with Shigsy in Venice Strip Club led to interviews with Nintendo top people for the official position of mascot. At last Mario felt a calling. It all went swimmingly from there, once they taught the fat man to swim. Unfortunately, Mario had never entered puberty, so they improvised the bushy moustache with Shigsy's dressing gown and a sharp pair of scissors.
He had a co-star, the beautiful Princess Daisy. She hated her brace-wearing hero.
"Yes, the man was so uncouth. That belly of his is caused by too many beers. And his false moustauche looks so.....70's!" commented Daisy, from her vastly overpriced mansion.
But that never held back Mario. He even forgave his brother, Luigi, who was at the time working in P.R. The tall, thin ladies man was flown to Japan with all haste. Mario believes these were the crowning years of his work. Even the sets were beautiful.
"Yeah, the sets and graphics were top-notch. Really captured my...wossname...inner beauty. Yeah." commented Luigi.
They loved their new villian, Bowser-Koopa-Whatever. It was of course, Shigsy playing around with some green makeup and a metallic bath, but they never knew. Until now, of course.
"THAT GIT! I *censored. Have a cookie. It'll be a while* with a mincer!" yelled Luigi, on finding out.
Things started to go downhill for the team when Mario's Budhist guru, Sonic, betrayed Mario to work for Sega. Although things appeared normal, the team was beginning to fall apart.
"Well, he used to appear for work all dishevelled. Often he'd have..oh...half a pint. It's his size, you know. He's only 5cm tall, the poor man. It'd go straight to his head. While we're at it, I really hated his sideburns." said Daisy.
One day the confrontation with Sonic came to a head at a conference in Tokoyo, and Sonic beat Mario senseless before flouncing off with his hired fun, Tails.
"I don't think Mario ever really recovered from that. And why didn't I think of making Mario gay? I could have played his lover!" yelled Shigsy, before running off.
By the time of the N64, which Shigsy had made with the remainders of his beloved dressing gown and two medium sized breeze blocks, Mario was deeply hooked on milk.
"We tried to get him off it, onto something normal, like weed, cocaine or even leomade, but he would be shelling out his wages on milk. Milk, every day! No-one could take that." sobbed Luigi, before being consoled by WWF star Stone Cold Steve Austin.
The milk addiction was tearing his life apart, but Mario still starred in Mario 64.
"You that face-strectching thing at the start? That was real. We had to constantly massage his face to keep the milk flowing." whooped Shigsy.
After Mario 64, Mario just disappeared. Luigi searched for him everywhere, but was distracted by Daisy's overtures and spent many a long day frolicking with her in that pink mansion. You know, looking at squirrels, and stuff. Mario was singing famous Bee-Gees hits at a club in Basingstoke.
"He was great. Without that moustache, I didn't recognise him! He downed a pint of milk a night. JeSUS, that man could drink!" commented Jim McbarTender, who didn't wish to be named. Sod him.
So where does this put Mario now? He was thrown in prision for stealing milk from football star David Beckhams house.
"I didn't want to create a scene, but it's MY MILK, and Victoria loves it so on her Kelloggs Special K. You heard it, Special K, now with RED BERRIES! Eat it, the Beckhams do!" said Beckham, before being handed a large wad of cash.
We managed to get an interview with Mario in prision. The man is a state.
" I dont-a know where I went'a wrong. I'm only 47, me whole a-life was ahead of me. What do you mean, I'm short and I have no friends?"
He's finally grown his own moustache. Apparently makes him more attractive to the ladies. He hoped Diasy would be waiting for him. HA!
So Shigsy, in desperation, re-did some classic Mario hits for the GBA, signed Sonic for a GBA appearance, and gave Luigi his first starring role. But we will always remember a rotund plumber, who threw it all away. He also doesn't think red goes well with his eyes. Let's face it, the guy was a muppet.
Hope you enjoyed, just an idea I had in my exam today,
Cheers,
Stryke.
heh. that's the first funny topic i've read that isn't mine :)
;-) Great post Stryke. Should be a GAD, but even if it isn't then it is still a joy to read. ;-)
Oh Stryke you missed out the latest info...
Daisy never left Mario she was waiting for him after working with Mario look alike Jumpman for a few weeks on classics like Mario Golf and Tennis (bet you thought that was really Mario). Jump man died though in the middle of shooting Paper Mario...
Nintendo hired a Replacement but the company had to pay hefty fines for Jump mans death and PEach was also sued after she smashed in Daisy after playing Mario Tennis, "I LOVE HIM" yelled Peach, "NO ME" said Daisy smashing the ball into Peaches head, Daisy is still recovering in intensive care.
Nintendo needed a replacement and cheap they spent all their money and so after the original MArio was release they hired him at cheap rate and he finished off Paper Mario...
Shigsy hired him for Mario Sunshine and many other mario titles, he was much more energetic than Jumpman as scientists discovered milk was actually good for you! Hal hired him for the Gamecube first for smash brother melee a title which originally starred Jump man.
Mario's life is looking good after showing up at space world, when people asked Shigsy about the new Mario wasn't he supposed to look older? Shigsy replied that Jump man is dead and its easier for him to look older. Mario tried to end the rivalry between Peach and Daisy by saying:
"Whatsa goin on i can handle both of ya, now go into the kitchin and make me some pie"
Peach obliged but Daisy smashed Mario round the head with a tennis racket and just before he fell unconsious he said "Buta itsa me Mario". Daisy stormed out as PEach nursed Mario to full health.
Mario later yelled at Luigi for starring in his own game, "Whata ya call that a game? Now get in the kitchen and make me some pie" and off Luigi went. Sonic was now scared he betrayed Mario for SEGA and after being made redundant he has forced to re-join Nintendo. "I didn't want to say it but i Told ya so now get in the Kitchen and make me some pie".
MArio is still hated by everyone except a green elf boy and a yellow mouse whom are oftern seen talking in the local social club.
Daisy never left Mario she was waiting for him after working with Mario look alike Jumpman for a few weeks on classics like Mario Golf and Tennis (bet you thought that was really Mario). Jump man died though in the middle of shooting Paper Mario...
Nintendo hired a Replacement but the company had to pay hefty fines for Jump mans death and PEach was also sued after she smashed in Daisy after playing Mario Tennis, "I LOVE HIM" yelled Peach, "NO ME" said Daisy smashing the ball into Peaches head, Daisy is still recovering in intensive care.
Nintendo needed a replacement and cheap they spent all their money and so after the original MArio was release they hired him at cheap rate and he finished off Paper Mario...
Shigsy hired him for Mario Sunshine and many other mario titles, he was much more energetic than Jumpman as scientists discovered milk was actually good for you! Hal hired him for the Gamecube first for smash brother melee a title which originally starred Jump man.
Mario's life is looking good after showing up at space world, when people asked Shigsy about the new Mario wasn't he supposed to look older? Shigsy replied that Jump man is dead and its easier for him to look older. Mario tried to end the rivalry between Peach and Daisy by saying:
"Whatsa goin on i can handle both of ya, now go into the kitchin and make me some pie"
Peach obliged but Daisy smashed Mario round the head with a tennis racket and just before he fell unconsious he said "Buta itsa me Mario". Daisy stormed out as PEach nursed Mario to full health.
Mario later yelled at Luigi for starring in his own game, "Whata ya call that a game? Now get in the kitchen and make me some pie" and off Luigi went. Sonic was now scared he betrayed Mario for SEGA and after being made redundant he has forced to re-join Nintendo. "I didn't want to say it but i Told ya so now get in the Kitchen and make me some pie".
MArio is still hated by everyone except a green elf boy and a yellow mouse whom are oftern seen talking in the local social club.
"do" Sonic? *AND NOW FOR THE PUNCHLINE!*
I thought that was Tails job!
BU BUM BUM TISCH!
I thought that was Tails job!
BU BUM BUM TISCH!
lol...
just one thing:
DO SONIC!
Sonic
just one thing:
DO SONIC!
Sonic
C'mon, someone read this, please. It took me a while. It's not bad, is it? Cheers Alan.
Nice one Stryke. Enjoyed that.
: )
: )
The story of Jake La Motta in Raging Bull is a tragic one, but it is nothing compared to the suffering and fall from grace of Mario, once Nintendo's stalwart - The story of "Raging Plumber."
Mario started life in a small town in Italy that no one knows the name of. Possibly because it doesn't exist, who can say? He suffered disfortune from an early age - his brother Luigi was far bigger than him, in all areas. He never had any luck with the ladies, poor Mario. All he could do was study stereotypical Italian-English, the poor lad. He really mastered those "A-'s".His trademark phrase was first pioneered when Luigi beat him to a pulp, believing him to be a very fat cat-burglar. "It's a-me, It's a-Mar...arrrrgh..." wasn't very sucessful at first. He didn't change it until years later, when a chance meeting with Shigsy in Venice Strip Club led to interviews with Nintendo top people for the official position of mascot. At last Mario felt a calling. It all went swimmingly from there, once they taught the fat man to swim. Unfortunately, Mario had never entered puberty, so they improvised the bushy moustache with Shigsy's dressing gown and a sharp pair of scissors.
He had a co-star, the beautiful Princess Daisy. She hated her brace-wearing hero.
"Yes, the man was so uncouth. That belly of his is caused by too many beers. And his false moustauche looks so.....70's!" commented Daisy, from her vastly overpriced mansion.
But that never held back Mario. He even forgave his brother, Luigi, who was at the time working in P.R. The tall, thin ladies man was flown to Japan with all haste. Mario believes these were the crowning years of his work. Even the sets were beautiful.
"Yeah, the sets and graphics were top-notch. Really captured my...wossname...inner beauty. Yeah." commented Luigi.
They loved their new villian, Bowser-Koopa-Whatever. It was of course, Shigsy playing around with some green makeup and a metallic bath, but they never knew. Until now, of course.
"THAT GIT! I *censored. Have a cookie. It'll be a while* with a mincer!" yelled Luigi, on finding out.
Things started to go downhill for the team when Mario's Budhist guru, Sonic, betrayed Mario to work for Sega. Although things appeared normal, the team was beginning to fall apart.
"Well, he used to appear for work all dishevelled. Often he'd have..oh...half a pint. It's his size, you know. He's only 5cm tall, the poor man. It'd go straight to his head. While we're at it, I really hated his sideburns." said Daisy.
One day the confrontation with Sonic came to a head at a conference in Tokoyo, and Sonic beat Mario senseless before flouncing off with his hired fun, Tails.
"I don't think Mario ever really recovered from that. And why didn't I think of making Mario gay? I could have played his lover!" yelled Shigsy, before running off.
By the time of the N64, which Shigsy had made with the remainders of his beloved dressing gown and two medium sized breeze blocks, Mario was deeply hooked on milk.
"We tried to get him off it, onto something normal, like weed, cocaine or even leomade, but he would be shelling out his wages on milk. Milk, every day! No-one could take that." sobbed Luigi, before being consoled by WWF star Stone Cold Steve Austin.
The milk addiction was tearing his life apart, but Mario still starred in Mario 64.
"You that face-strectching thing at the start? That was real. We had to constantly massage his face to keep the milk flowing." whooped Shigsy.
After Mario 64, Mario just disappeared. Luigi searched for him everywhere, but was distracted by Daisy's overtures and spent many a long day frolicking with her in that pink mansion. You know, looking at squirrels, and stuff. Mario was singing famous Bee-Gees hits at a club in Basingstoke.
"He was great. Without that moustache, I didn't recognise him! He downed a pint of milk a night. JeSUS, that man could drink!" commented Jim McbarTender, who didn't wish to be named. Sod him.
So where does this put Mario now? He was thrown in prision for stealing milk from football star David Beckhams house.
"I didn't want to create a scene, but it's MY MILK, and Victoria loves it so on her Kelloggs Special K. You heard it, Special K, now with RED BERRIES! Eat it, the Beckhams do!" said Beckham, before being handed a large wad of cash.
We managed to get an interview with Mario in prision. The man is a state.
" I dont-a know where I went'a wrong. I'm only 47, me whole a-life was ahead of me. What do you mean, I'm short and I have no friends?"
He's finally grown his own moustache. Apparently makes him more attractive to the ladies. He hoped Diasy would be waiting for him. HA!
So Shigsy, in desperation, re-did some classic Mario hits for the GBA, signed Sonic for a GBA appearance, and gave Luigi his first starring role. But we will always remember a rotund plumber, who threw it all away. He also doesn't think red goes well with his eyes. Let's face it, the guy was a muppet.
Hope you enjoyed, just an idea I had in my exam today,
Cheers,
Stryke.
Mario started life in a small town in Italy that no one knows the name of. Possibly because it doesn't exist, who can say? He suffered disfortune from an early age - his brother Luigi was far bigger than him, in all areas. He never had any luck with the ladies, poor Mario. All he could do was study stereotypical Italian-English, the poor lad. He really mastered those "A-'s".His trademark phrase was first pioneered when Luigi beat him to a pulp, believing him to be a very fat cat-burglar. "It's a-me, It's a-Mar...arrrrgh..." wasn't very sucessful at first. He didn't change it until years later, when a chance meeting with Shigsy in Venice Strip Club led to interviews with Nintendo top people for the official position of mascot. At last Mario felt a calling. It all went swimmingly from there, once they taught the fat man to swim. Unfortunately, Mario had never entered puberty, so they improvised the bushy moustache with Shigsy's dressing gown and a sharp pair of scissors.
He had a co-star, the beautiful Princess Daisy. She hated her brace-wearing hero.
"Yes, the man was so uncouth. That belly of his is caused by too many beers. And his false moustauche looks so.....70's!" commented Daisy, from her vastly overpriced mansion.
But that never held back Mario. He even forgave his brother, Luigi, who was at the time working in P.R. The tall, thin ladies man was flown to Japan with all haste. Mario believes these were the crowning years of his work. Even the sets were beautiful.
"Yeah, the sets and graphics were top-notch. Really captured my...wossname...inner beauty. Yeah." commented Luigi.
They loved their new villian, Bowser-Koopa-Whatever. It was of course, Shigsy playing around with some green makeup and a metallic bath, but they never knew. Until now, of course.
"THAT GIT! I *censored. Have a cookie. It'll be a while* with a mincer!" yelled Luigi, on finding out.
Things started to go downhill for the team when Mario's Budhist guru, Sonic, betrayed Mario to work for Sega. Although things appeared normal, the team was beginning to fall apart.
"Well, he used to appear for work all dishevelled. Often he'd have..oh...half a pint. It's his size, you know. He's only 5cm tall, the poor man. It'd go straight to his head. While we're at it, I really hated his sideburns." said Daisy.
One day the confrontation with Sonic came to a head at a conference in Tokoyo, and Sonic beat Mario senseless before flouncing off with his hired fun, Tails.
"I don't think Mario ever really recovered from that. And why didn't I think of making Mario gay? I could have played his lover!" yelled Shigsy, before running off.
By the time of the N64, which Shigsy had made with the remainders of his beloved dressing gown and two medium sized breeze blocks, Mario was deeply hooked on milk.
"We tried to get him off it, onto something normal, like weed, cocaine or even leomade, but he would be shelling out his wages on milk. Milk, every day! No-one could take that." sobbed Luigi, before being consoled by WWF star Stone Cold Steve Austin.
The milk addiction was tearing his life apart, but Mario still starred in Mario 64.
"You that face-strectching thing at the start? That was real. We had to constantly massage his face to keep the milk flowing." whooped Shigsy.
After Mario 64, Mario just disappeared. Luigi searched for him everywhere, but was distracted by Daisy's overtures and spent many a long day frolicking with her in that pink mansion. You know, looking at squirrels, and stuff. Mario was singing famous Bee-Gees hits at a club in Basingstoke.
"He was great. Without that moustache, I didn't recognise him! He downed a pint of milk a night. JeSUS, that man could drink!" commented Jim McbarTender, who didn't wish to be named. Sod him.
So where does this put Mario now? He was thrown in prision for stealing milk from football star David Beckhams house.
"I didn't want to create a scene, but it's MY MILK, and Victoria loves it so on her Kelloggs Special K. You heard it, Special K, now with RED BERRIES! Eat it, the Beckhams do!" said Beckham, before being handed a large wad of cash.
We managed to get an interview with Mario in prision. The man is a state.
" I dont-a know where I went'a wrong. I'm only 47, me whole a-life was ahead of me. What do you mean, I'm short and I have no friends?"
He's finally grown his own moustache. Apparently makes him more attractive to the ladies. He hoped Diasy would be waiting for him. HA!
So Shigsy, in desperation, re-did some classic Mario hits for the GBA, signed Sonic for a GBA appearance, and gave Luigi his first starring role. But we will always remember a rotund plumber, who threw it all away. He also doesn't think red goes well with his eyes. Let's face it, the guy was a muppet.
Hope you enjoyed, just an idea I had in my exam today,
Cheers,
Stryke.