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(Angel): "Because you have spent a great deal of your life participating in the irreligious pasttime of videogames, you are not eligible to enter into the holy realm of Heaven; but seeing that you have not been a bad person, the Almighty has decreed that you should spend your Afterlife in a place of your own choosing, but with one condition: THIS PLACE MUST BE SOMEWHERE WHICH YOU VISITED WHILST PLAYING A VIDEOGAME."
The Angel allows you a brief time to ponder which videogame environment you will choose to spend all eternity.
You begin to think.....
* * * *
~THE MAGICAL OPTION~
Hmmm, perhaps it would be best to choose a place of wonder, clear water and happy laughter - somewhere like MarioLand.
I could spent my time throwing snowballs at giant snowmen.
I could jump and glide from grassy knoll to flowery hill collecting glittering golden stars.
I could live in a lavish castle, play golf with friendly dinosaurs and talk nonsense to various outlandish characters.
~THE DARK OPTION~
Then again, the 'Magical Option' is all a bit nice and airy-fairy and would probably get boring after a while.
Maybe I should choose the path of the darkness - somewhere like the twisted underearth of Quake.
Yes, I could spend all eternity patrolling a shadowy labyrinth armed with weapons of mass destruction flamboyantly blowing away hellish beasts.
There would be no 'real' danger because I am immortal.
~THE FUN OPTION~
But would endless and mindless slaughter lose its fizz after the 10,000th victim?
Hmmm, perhaps I should plump for a place of pure fun - somewhere like madcap city streets of Crazy Taxi.
Yes, I could spend the never-ending sunny San Fransisco day driving about like a crazy cool cat and no one would get hurt.
Surely this would be the best option?
~THE SURREAL OPTION~
But maybe 100% fun, fun, fun would make me feel queasy after a while?
Perhaps I should go for something truly weird - like one of Pacman's mazes.
Or the pingy magnetic realm of Vib Ribbon.
Or the trance-like wireframe landscape of Rez....
Oh so many options! So many choices! Which gaming environment should I choose as my everlasting Videogame Heaven?
* * * *
"So," interrupts the Angel in a commanding voice, "your thinking time is up. It is time to declare your eternal preference. Please state the location of your Videogame Heaven...."
Well? Where would you go?
(Angel): "Because you have spent a great deal of your life participating in the irreligious pasttime of videogames, you are not eligible to enter into the holy realm of Heaven; but seeing that you have not been a bad person, the Almighty has decreed that you should spend your Afterlife in a place of your own choosing, but with one condition: THIS PLACE MUST BE SOMEWHERE WHICH YOU VISITED WHILST PLAYING A VIDEOGAME."
The Angel allows you a brief time to ponder which videogame environment you will choose to spend all eternity.
You begin to think.....
* * * *
~THE MAGICAL OPTION~
Hmmm, perhaps it would be best to choose a place of wonder, clear water and happy laughter - somewhere like MarioLand.
I could spent my time throwing snowballs at giant snowmen.
I could jump and glide from grassy knoll to flowery hill collecting glittering golden stars.
I could live in a lavish castle, play golf with friendly dinosaurs and talk nonsense to various outlandish characters.
~THE DARK OPTION~
Then again, the 'Magical Option' is all a bit nice and airy-fairy and would probably get boring after a while.
Maybe I should choose the path of the darkness - somewhere like the twisted underearth of Quake.
Yes, I could spend all eternity patrolling a shadowy labyrinth armed with weapons of mass destruction flamboyantly blowing away hellish beasts.
There would be no 'real' danger because I am immortal.
~THE FUN OPTION~
But would endless and mindless slaughter lose its fizz after the 10,000th victim?
Hmmm, perhaps I should plump for a place of pure fun - somewhere like madcap city streets of Crazy Taxi.
Yes, I could spend the never-ending sunny San Fransisco day driving about like a crazy cool cat and no one would get hurt.
Surely this would be the best option?
~THE SURREAL OPTION~
But maybe 100% fun, fun, fun would make me feel queasy after a while?
Perhaps I should go for something truly weird - like one of Pacman's mazes.
Or the pingy magnetic realm of Vib Ribbon.
Or the trance-like wireframe landscape of Rez....
Oh so many options! So many choices! Which gaming environment should I choose as my everlasting Videogame Heaven?
* * * *
"So," interrupts the Angel in a commanding voice, "your thinking time is up. It is time to declare your eternal preference. Please state the location of your Videogame Heaven...."
Well? Where would you go?
slik ~_~
Alright, I'd live in Hyrule at first.
Living a peaceful life, killing monsters here and there, wandering around as I feel like it...
And if I get bored, I'll wait until the Smash Brother Tournament comes to Hyrule and then htich a lift with one of the fighters to their own land.
The forest retreat of Donkey Kong's Country.
Great if you like bananas...
I could follow captain Falcon to the F-Zero races (being immortal, I can fall off the edge of the track as much as I want, only I'll have to pay for a new ship :-(! )
If I get really bored, I'll lend Mario a hand with the plumming.
As for some shooting, I'm sure that bounty hunter Samus will have plenty to do.
I could travel with her across the galaxy destroyingg monsters for bounty.
I wonder what she looks like under that suit...
;-)
Leisure Suit Larry...?
I could be the ultimate ganagster, as I couldn't die.
I'd go around robbing and stuff 'til I had loads of money, then buy an island somewhere and live in paradise.
Nice.