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Yep, it’s true.
Mario is to appear on the PC.
But obviously with the port from cutesy console to grown-up gaming, some minor changes have been made.
Nintendo spokesperson Tetsuo Bodyhammer said “We are most pleased with the decision by PC to accept our mascot.” Journalists agreed this statement was polite but lacking in comical effect.
The main change is to do with Mario himself.
His console appearance was that of a fat, moustachioed Italian (think Village People meets Joe Dolce), but with the PC gamers not being retarded, it was felt that a change was in order.
Mario is now a vest-wearing muscle-bound dude with sunglasses, and instead of saying “Issa me!” his catchphrase is now “Gonna open a can a whoopass on you”.
Also gone are the abstract and just plain stupid fluffy islands and castles, these have been replaced with grimy inner-city scenarios and laboratory complexes.
Along with the aesthetic changes, there have been fundamental gameplay changes as well.
No longer a sideways scrolling 3D affair, it is now a 1st person perspective shooter, with loads of massive guns and tanks and stuff.
And the name, Mario.
This was put to a focus group of PC gamers, aged between 15 and 30 and the results were surprising, comments ranged from “What a gay name” to “What a gay name”.
So Mario is now called Hank Deadlift.
And he’s not a plumber, but a psycho soldier of fortune employed by a sinister government organisation that wants him dead.
His opponents, Bowser and Wario have also undergone slight changes. No longer a dragon, Bowser is now a cyborg rhino with rockets on his head called “Vinnie” and Wario is a 37ft robot with nukes and armoured tracks for feet.
Tetsuo looked puzzled by the changes when shown and said “But this is nothing like Mario”.
Microsoft were quick to laugh and ignore him saying “There need to be minor changes.”
Steve Ballmer began to leap about screaming, but was shot with tranquillisers and sent away for tests.
Mario is to appear on the PC.
But obviously with the port from cutesy console to grown-up gaming, some minor changes have been made.
Nintendo spokesperson Tetsuo Bodyhammer said “We are most pleased with the decision by PC to accept our mascot.” Journalists agreed this statement was polite but lacking in comical effect.
The main change is to do with Mario himself.
His console appearance was that of a fat, moustachioed Italian (think Village People meets Joe Dolce), but with the PC gamers not being retarded, it was felt that a change was in order.
Mario is now a vest-wearing muscle-bound dude with sunglasses, and instead of saying “Issa me!” his catchphrase is now “Gonna open a can a whoopass on you”.
Also gone are the abstract and just plain stupid fluffy islands and castles, these have been replaced with grimy inner-city scenarios and laboratory complexes.
Along with the aesthetic changes, there have been fundamental gameplay changes as well.
No longer a sideways scrolling 3D affair, it is now a 1st person perspective shooter, with loads of massive guns and tanks and stuff.
And the name, Mario.
This was put to a focus group of PC gamers, aged between 15 and 30 and the results were surprising, comments ranged from “What a gay name” to “What a gay name”.
So Mario is now called Hank Deadlift.
And he’s not a plumber, but a psycho soldier of fortune employed by a sinister government organisation that wants him dead.
His opponents, Bowser and Wario have also undergone slight changes. No longer a dragon, Bowser is now a cyborg rhino with rockets on his head called “Vinnie” and Wario is a 37ft robot with nukes and armoured tracks for feet.
Tetsuo looked puzzled by the changes when shown and said “But this is nothing like Mario”.
Microsoft were quick to laugh and ignore him saying “There need to be minor changes.”
Steve Ballmer began to leap about screaming, but was shot with tranquillisers and sent away for tests.
Innocent Irony Beleivers...
Don't they just make you smile :-)
Don't they just make you smile :-)
I must admit, seeing Mario in an all-action, shoot-em-up would be quite good. I'm getting tired of him eating pizza and still being as fit as the proverbial fiddle.
Hey, no worries
Sorry there Edgy, I only read the main post not the replies. Sorry.
Didn't I mention Mario VGA?
....but maybe this time Mario will actually appear in a game and not a children's teaching course.
...and Mario Teaches Typing (under the general title "Mario's Preschool fun"
He's also appeared in the original Mario Bros game (not Super Mario Bros) under the title Mario VGA (I've got it)
Anyway, there are plenty of "cutesy" games on other systems! How about Crash Bandicoot on PSX? Or Jak and Daxter on PS2? Or even Tweenies on PSX? Should I mention Worms on all systems?
He's also appeared in the original Mario Bros game (not Super Mario Bros) under the title Mario VGA (I've got it)
Anyway, there are plenty of "cutesy" games on other systems! How about Crash Bandicoot on PSX? Or Jak and Daxter on PS2? Or even Tweenies on PSX? Should I mention Worms on all systems?
Satire aside, MArio has already appeared on the Apple Mac, in a game called Go Fish!! We had it on our school computers..................
;)
;)
Yep, it’s true.
Mario is to appear on the PC.
But obviously with the port from cutesy console to grown-up gaming, some minor changes have been made.
Nintendo spokesperson Tetsuo Bodyhammer said “We are most pleased with the decision by PC to accept our mascot.” Journalists agreed this statement was polite but lacking in comical effect.
The main change is to do with Mario himself.
His console appearance was that of a fat, moustachioed Italian (think Village People meets Joe Dolce), but with the PC gamers not being retarded, it was felt that a change was in order.
Mario is now a vest-wearing muscle-bound dude with sunglasses, and instead of saying “Issa me!” his catchphrase is now “Gonna open a can a whoopass on you”.
Also gone are the abstract and just plain stupid fluffy islands and castles, these have been replaced with grimy inner-city scenarios and laboratory complexes.
Along with the aesthetic changes, there have been fundamental gameplay changes as well.
No longer a sideways scrolling 3D affair, it is now a 1st person perspective shooter, with loads of massive guns and tanks and stuff.
And the name, Mario.
This was put to a focus group of PC gamers, aged between 15 and 30 and the results were surprising, comments ranged from “What a gay name” to “What a gay name”.
So Mario is now called Hank Deadlift.
And he’s not a plumber, but a psycho soldier of fortune employed by a sinister government organisation that wants him dead.
His opponents, Bowser and Wario have also undergone slight changes. No longer a dragon, Bowser is now a cyborg rhino with rockets on his head called “Vinnie” and Wario is a 37ft robot with nukes and armoured tracks for feet.
Tetsuo looked puzzled by the changes when shown and said “But this is nothing like Mario”.
Microsoft were quick to laugh and ignore him saying “There need to be minor changes.”
Steve Ballmer began to leap about screaming, but was shot with tranquillisers and sent away for tests.
Mario is to appear on the PC.
But obviously with the port from cutesy console to grown-up gaming, some minor changes have been made.
Nintendo spokesperson Tetsuo Bodyhammer said “We are most pleased with the decision by PC to accept our mascot.” Journalists agreed this statement was polite but lacking in comical effect.
The main change is to do with Mario himself.
His console appearance was that of a fat, moustachioed Italian (think Village People meets Joe Dolce), but with the PC gamers not being retarded, it was felt that a change was in order.
Mario is now a vest-wearing muscle-bound dude with sunglasses, and instead of saying “Issa me!” his catchphrase is now “Gonna open a can a whoopass on you”.
Also gone are the abstract and just plain stupid fluffy islands and castles, these have been replaced with grimy inner-city scenarios and laboratory complexes.
Along with the aesthetic changes, there have been fundamental gameplay changes as well.
No longer a sideways scrolling 3D affair, it is now a 1st person perspective shooter, with loads of massive guns and tanks and stuff.
And the name, Mario.
This was put to a focus group of PC gamers, aged between 15 and 30 and the results were surprising, comments ranged from “What a gay name” to “What a gay name”.
So Mario is now called Hank Deadlift.
And he’s not a plumber, but a psycho soldier of fortune employed by a sinister government organisation that wants him dead.
His opponents, Bowser and Wario have also undergone slight changes. No longer a dragon, Bowser is now a cyborg rhino with rockets on his head called “Vinnie” and Wario is a 37ft robot with nukes and armoured tracks for feet.
Tetsuo looked puzzled by the changes when shown and said “But this is nothing like Mario”.
Microsoft were quick to laugh and ignore him saying “There need to be minor changes.”
Steve Ballmer began to leap about screaming, but was shot with tranquillisers and sent away for tests.