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In the year 2007 a man known as Bill Gates introduced a product that people could hook up to their heads and they will be instantly transported into the Internet. People were able to walk about websites and fulfill there every desire. Bill Gates loves pie.
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Febuary 15th 2008
“Memo, Mystique, Parr, and Lou Role are wondering about the internet”
Mystique= Hey Parr I’m like really hott right now. Wanna cyber?
Parr= Do you have a cyber condom with you? I don’t want to get a virus on my computer you know.
Mystique= Your lose. But can we at least go into a chatroom.
Parr= How about that one!
Mystique= Your on!
“Mystique and Parr walk into the Filthy Filthy Chatroom”
Memo= I swear those guys are really sex crazy.
Lou Role= Yea. Memo lets go into a less desperate chatroom than Mystique’s.
“Lou Role and Memo walk into the Filthy Chatroom”
Memo= Hey there are no girls in here.
Sylphetic= Hey you two! Up for a game of Poker?
Lou Role= This isn’t what I had in mind when I came in here.
Memo= Poker! I love Poker!
“Memo starts poking Lou Role in the eye”
Memo= I win!
Azul= You will do perfect for this game.
Lou Role= I’ll sit this one out.
7 minutes later
Sylphetic= I got 5 aces. What you guys get?
Azul= I got 4 fives and an instant win card.
Memo= Uh….I got three ladies, a number, and a man giving himself brain surgery. Do I win?
Azul= That means I win! Give me my winnings. Sylphetic you bet 100 pounds and Memo you bet your stupid forgotten soul. Pay up!
“Azul starts to chant a weird ritual and Memo’s spirit comes out of his body. Then he casually stuffs it in his pocket”
Memo= Uh…….me don’t know English.
Lou Role= Memo! What have you done! Hey you give that soul back!
Azul= Talk to the hand………because it’s lonely.
Lou Role= This isn’t happening!
“Mystique and Parr walk in abruptly”
Mystique= Wow Parr that chat room was like so hott…….wait a second……DAD!
Azul= Mystique! What are you doing in a place like this?
Mystique= Uh…….He kidnapped me I swear.
Parr= What!
Azul= I’ll kill you!
Parr= No sir. I didn’t kidnap her…..I only slept with her.
Azul= You what!
Lou Role= Calm down everyone. Parr this guy stole Memo’s soul!
Sylphetic= Lies! He won it in a Poker game.
Parr= Who in the world is cold enough to take a soul? And who in the world calls there daughter Mystique!
Azul= She was named after her grandmother………and her brother was named after a biscuit I once had.
Double-Chocolate Chip= I love you daddy!
Azul= Well I’m off! I am going to hide Memo’s soul in a very easy to reach place and end up being very surprised when you retrieve it like all villains in stories.
Lou Role= You cruel man!
“Azul walks off slowly”
Parr= Shouldn’t we get him?
Mystique= And end this spoof right now? Now way!
Lou Role= Okay guys. Where should we start our search first.
Parr= How about www.hidesoulhere.com?
Lou Role= Hope our Internet connection is fast.
Memo= My hair hurts.
*On a plane to www.hidesoulhere.com*
Flight Attendant Gerrid= Hello and welcome. If everyone could just fasten your seat belts by clipping the big end of the seat belt to the other smaller side of the seat belt then…….um……well if you have problems fastening your seat belt in the first place call one of our flight attendants over for they could smack you over the head with a large novelty brick for being so thick.
Mystique= I hate flights. They take to long.
“The plane lifts off the ground and almost instantly lands back on a landing pad”
Mystique= Good thing I brought that five word weight lose magazine at the airport to entertain myself during that dreadful trip.
Lou Role= What did the weight lose magazine say this month?
Mystique= Buy Next Issue for Details. Strange thing is that that was the same advice last month. Hmm.
Parr= Hey who brought the ultra high-tech locating machine we bought.
Lou Role= Oh, I did.
“Lou Role takes out a huge contraption out of his pocket”
Machine= Cold. Cold. Cold.
Mystique= We are not even close!
Parr= Let check over there.
Machine= Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Your Burning Up.
Lou Role= It must be behind this door.
Parr= I think we have to figure out a password to enter this place.
Lou Role= Open Sesa-me!
Mystique= Bikini Studs………well that was the password for another website.
Parr= I think the best thing to do would be for you two to try to find Azul while me and Memo stay here vulnerable to any attacking hitmen that your dad has hired.
Lou Role= Genius!
Mystique= Then I guess I’ll see later you funny honey bunny sonny.
“Mystique and Lou Role run off dramatically”
Lou Role= Mystique, you must really like that Parr kid huh.
Mystique= Oh Parr. Isn’t it funny that when your single all you see are couples, but when your part of a couple all you see are strippers?
Lou Role= I see.
Mystique= I see in the dark!
Lou Role= By the way….I hate your dad.
Mystique= Hmm…that was sudden.
Lou Role= I hate the way he smells the way he sounds the way he eats the way he looks in a dress while dancing the cha-cha…..Oh wait. I bet he’s right behind me, listening to everything I’m saying.
Azul= Actually I’m right in front of you.
Mystique= Eek!
Azul= I have a little deal for you guys. I’ll tell you the way of going through the forbidden door and getting your friend’s soul if Mystique marries my friend Sylphetic.
Sylphetic= Hey Mystique, I’m like completely naked under my cloths.
Mystique= Never! You will never make me. No. Never………..okay sure.
“A priest jumps out from behind a computer firewall”
Priest Bazzman= Sylphetic, do you take this woman to be your dearly online wife?
Sylphetic= I do!
Lou Role= Mystique don’t do it!
Priest Bazzman= Mystique, do you copy and paste his response till death do you part?
Mystique= I….I….
E-Mail voice= You got mail.
Mystique= Who cares!
E-mail voice= It’s not spam.
Mystique= Wow!
“Mystique takes out her small pocket book and turns on her visual-screen”
Parr= Mystique, some of your Dad’s hitmen have injured me. See I was having a martini drinking contest. I would of won but we ran out of olives then they came out of nowhere and shot me. Don’t be angry.
Mystique= How can I not be angry? Who in the world goes anywhere without in extra jar of olives. Shame on you!
Parr= Come quickly!
Mystique= Um….no….uh…
Lou Role= Mystique you have to let out your emotions! Just like I do while punching a pillow the shape of my brother on Saturdays. You’re the kind of person that when people ask you how you are doing you just say “fine”, but one day you can’t keep on with the lie and when they ask you how you are doing you wouldn’t respond……….because you’d be dead.
Mystique= Lou Role…..that made no sense, but I understood it. I want to live with Parr in a little hut on a mountaintop happily with a 30year old cat named Mr. Butters and I can’t do that if he’s dead…….well maybe if I were some kind of freak but that’s not the point! Now lets go back to that forbidden door entry and get my boyfriend!
Sylphetic= Forbidden doorway…..is that anything like a cemetery, because I have to go the bathroom.
“Mystique starts to walk away”
Azul= Quickly hitmen make a search party! We have to get her back!
Mystique= Dad I’m still here.
Azul= Thank goodness Mysty I’ve been looking for you for days…….but now that you are here I have to kill you! Hitmen attack!
“Suddenly computer pop-ups appear from nowhere and charge toward Azul’s daughter and Lou Role”
Lou Role= AHHH! Watch out Mystique that’s a free health plan pop-up! It’s deadly!
“Mystique jumps over a sex pop-up and stares down a Watch The Simpsons advert”
Advert= Eat my shorts!
Mystique= Okay!
“Mystique starts rubbing on the advert and it runs away frightened”
Lou Role= I don’t think we could make it Myst!
Azul= HITMEN STOP! Daughter, before you die I want to say something that will surprise you greatly. Those with weak hearts should leave now…………So goodbye…
“Azul runs away”
Sylphetic= Ack, he is just stalling! Pop-ups kill them!
“Lou Role manages to get behind Sylphetic and puts him in a choke hold”
Sylphetic= Don’t kill me Mr. Role. I am innocent I promise.
Mystique= Don’t believe him Lou! Get out of the way!
“Lou Role dives out of the way in slow motion and Mystique throws a small child at Sylphetic”
Sylphetic= Oh no! AHHHHHH!
“BOOOM”
*Next to the forbidden door*
Lou Role= Oh no Parr is on conscience!
Memo= I like eggs.
Lou Role= Quick Mystique SHOCK HIM!
Mystique= Gasoline prices are way up! My breasts are fake! I enjoy tap dancing at charity funds!
“Parr bursts up and is revived”
Parr= Wow, thanks guys! Now we have to get offline quick!
Lou Role= Huh. Why?
Parr= I planted a bomb by mistake onto Memo’s head and now he is going to blow in a very plot twisting way!
Mystique= Lets not leave. I have feelings! And before Memo blows to bloody jagged pieces I want him to have a soul.
Lou Role= But the door. We still don’t know how to get in it!
Mystique= Parr, have you tried the doorknob?
Parr= That’s so crazy it just might work!
“Parr quickly turns the doorknob and the door magically opens revealing a dark room where there are three perfectly identical boxes. Each one more identical than the last”
Parr= It seems that each one of these boxes are language translators for dead languages. We have to say something to them and they will open up and reveal Memo’s soul!
Lou Role= How do you know that?
Parr= Oh because by mistake I entered this door and helped Azul hide Memo’s soul in these boxes.
Mystique= Let me try something. HELLO!
Translators= Bon-jour.
Lou Role= Ick! What a true dead language.
“The boxes also magically open and Memo’s soul floats out. Mystique shoves it into her trousers”
Parr= Okay now we have to leave before Memo explodes!
“Lou disappears indicating that he went offline”
Parr= Mystique, why aren’t you going offline!
Mystique= I have to save Memo! See that window over there. I’m going to jump out of it and land conveniently land on top of a hospital! What do you have to say to that my love?
Parr= Um……do a flip!
“Parr disappears moments after and Mystique jumps out of the window with Memo in her arms. She does a double axel front flip combo(I give it a 10.0) then lands on top of a doctors head”
Doctor= AHH! My head. You broke my head!
Mystique= Doctor! Take the bomb off this man’s face!
Doctor= Miss that’s a sugar muffin……not a bomb.
Mystique=………..Well put this soul inside his body!
Doctor= Okay. I need a blood sample.
Mystique= Good thing I took this out of Memo while he was asleep.
“Mystique takes out a big jug of crimson blood”
Doctor= Uh, I only need one cell.
Mystique= Just take it!
5 months later
“Parr, Mystique, Memo, Lou Role, and Azul are in a special table in a local restaurant in the real world”
Lou Role= This special table rules. They have salt AND pepper. Amazing!
Memo= Pssst…..Azul pass this note to Mystique.
Azul= Sure.
“Azul passes a small paper reading (GUESS WHO LIKES YOU) on it to Mystique”
Mystique= That’s disgusting dad!
Azul= Heh, that wasn’t from me. Plus I remember when you use to have a crush on me when you were in diapers…..that’s right when you were 10.
Parr= Hey guys do you remember that day 5 months ago on the Internet? That was the day we got our cat Mr. Butters. And the day you got pregnant Mysty.
Mr. Butters= Meow.
Mystique= I remember what we did that night Parr.
Parr= Um….I don’t.
Mystique= Errrr.
“Mr. Butters shoves his head in his food and dirties his whole face”
Mystique= Aww. Don’t worry he will just lick it off with his tongue.
Parr= Hey wait I remember what we did that night now!
“Double-Chocolate-Chip walks up to Azul”
Double-Chocolate-Chip= Daddy, can I go out skating?
Azul= No son! You will get pregnant like your sister!
Double-Chocolate-Chip= Hey is that pepper?
Lou Role= Hahahahahaha.
Memo= Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha….
Waiter= Hey guys how’s your food?
Lou Role= It’s great sir. Thanks.
Waiter= Good because I forgot to cook it.
Memo= …hahahahahahahahahahahaha…
Parr= Okay Memo stop laughing. Breath!
“Memo collapses and dies”
Mystique= I love you guys.
“Everyone smiles and has a great time, and they live happily ever after”
THE END
Drunk
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Febuary 15th 2008
“Memo, Mystique, Parr, and Lou Role are wondering about the internet”
Mystique= Hey Parr I’m like really hott right now. Wanna cyber?
Parr= Do you have a cyber condom with you? I don’t want to get a virus on my computer you know.
Mystique= Your lose. But can we at least go into a chatroom.
Parr= How about that one!
Mystique= Your on!
“Mystique and Parr walk into the Filthy Filthy Chatroom”
Memo= I swear those guys are really sex crazy.
Lou Role= Yea. Memo lets go into a less desperate chatroom than Mystique’s.
“Lou Role and Memo walk into the Filthy Chatroom”
Memo= Hey there are no girls in here.
Sylphetic= Hey you two! Up for a game of Poker?
Lou Role= This isn’t what I had in mind when I came in here.
Memo= Poker! I love Poker!
“Memo starts poking Lou Role in the eye”
Memo= I win!
Azul= You will do perfect for this game.
Lou Role= I’ll sit this one out.
7 minutes later
Sylphetic= I got 5 aces. What you guys get?
Azul= I got 4 fives and an instant win card.
Memo= Uh….I got three ladies, a number, and a man giving himself brain surgery. Do I win?
Azul= That means I win! Give me my winnings. Sylphetic you bet 100 pounds and Memo you bet your stupid forgotten soul. Pay up!
“Azul starts to chant a weird ritual and Memo’s spirit comes out of his body. Then he casually stuffs it in his pocket”
Memo= Uh…….me don’t know English.
Lou Role= Memo! What have you done! Hey you give that soul back!
Azul= Talk to the hand………because it’s lonely.
Lou Role= This isn’t happening!
“Mystique and Parr walk in abruptly”
Mystique= Wow Parr that chat room was like so hott…….wait a second……DAD!
Azul= Mystique! What are you doing in a place like this?
Mystique= Uh…….He kidnapped me I swear.
Parr= What!
Azul= I’ll kill you!
Parr= No sir. I didn’t kidnap her…..I only slept with her.
Azul= You what!
Lou Role= Calm down everyone. Parr this guy stole Memo’s soul!
Sylphetic= Lies! He won it in a Poker game.
Parr= Who in the world is cold enough to take a soul? And who in the world calls there daughter Mystique!
Azul= She was named after her grandmother………and her brother was named after a biscuit I once had.
Double-Chocolate Chip= I love you daddy!
Azul= Well I’m off! I am going to hide Memo’s soul in a very easy to reach place and end up being very surprised when you retrieve it like all villains in stories.
Lou Role= You cruel man!
“Azul walks off slowly”
Parr= Shouldn’t we get him?
Mystique= And end this spoof right now? Now way!
Lou Role= Okay guys. Where should we start our search first.
Parr= How about www.hidesoulhere.com?
Lou Role= Hope our Internet connection is fast.
Memo= My hair hurts.
*On a plane to www.hidesoulhere.com*
Flight Attendant Gerrid= Hello and welcome. If everyone could just fasten your seat belts by clipping the big end of the seat belt to the other smaller side of the seat belt then…….um……well if you have problems fastening your seat belt in the first place call one of our flight attendants over for they could smack you over the head with a large novelty brick for being so thick.
Mystique= I hate flights. They take to long.
“The plane lifts off the ground and almost instantly lands back on a landing pad”
Mystique= Good thing I brought that five word weight lose magazine at the airport to entertain myself during that dreadful trip.
Lou Role= What did the weight lose magazine say this month?
Mystique= Buy Next Issue for Details. Strange thing is that that was the same advice last month. Hmm.
Parr= Hey who brought the ultra high-tech locating machine we bought.
Lou Role= Oh, I did.
“Lou Role takes out a huge contraption out of his pocket”
Machine= Cold. Cold. Cold.
Mystique= We are not even close!
Parr= Let check over there.
Machine= Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Your Burning Up.
Lou Role= It must be behind this door.
Parr= I think we have to figure out a password to enter this place.
Lou Role= Open Sesa-me!
Mystique= Bikini Studs………well that was the password for another website.
Parr= I think the best thing to do would be for you two to try to find Azul while me and Memo stay here vulnerable to any attacking hitmen that your dad has hired.
Lou Role= Genius!
Mystique= Then I guess I’ll see later you funny honey bunny sonny.
“Mystique and Lou Role run off dramatically”
Lou Role= Mystique, you must really like that Parr kid huh.
Mystique= Oh Parr. Isn’t it funny that when your single all you see are couples, but when your part of a couple all you see are strippers?
Lou Role= I see.
Mystique= I see in the dark!
Lou Role= By the way….I hate your dad.
Mystique= Hmm…that was sudden.
Lou Role= I hate the way he smells the way he sounds the way he eats the way he looks in a dress while dancing the cha-cha…..Oh wait. I bet he’s right behind me, listening to everything I’m saying.
Azul= Actually I’m right in front of you.
Mystique= Eek!
Azul= I have a little deal for you guys. I’ll tell you the way of going through the forbidden door and getting your friend’s soul if Mystique marries my friend Sylphetic.
Sylphetic= Hey Mystique, I’m like completely naked under my cloths.
Mystique= Never! You will never make me. No. Never………..okay sure.
“A priest jumps out from behind a computer firewall”
Priest Bazzman= Sylphetic, do you take this woman to be your dearly online wife?
Sylphetic= I do!
Lou Role= Mystique don’t do it!
Priest Bazzman= Mystique, do you copy and paste his response till death do you part?
Mystique= I….I….
E-Mail voice= You got mail.
Mystique= Who cares!
E-mail voice= It’s not spam.
Mystique= Wow!
“Mystique takes out her small pocket book and turns on her visual-screen”
Parr= Mystique, some of your Dad’s hitmen have injured me. See I was having a martini drinking contest. I would of won but we ran out of olives then they came out of nowhere and shot me. Don’t be angry.
Mystique= How can I not be angry? Who in the world goes anywhere without in extra jar of olives. Shame on you!
Parr= Come quickly!
Mystique= Um….no….uh…
Lou Role= Mystique you have to let out your emotions! Just like I do while punching a pillow the shape of my brother on Saturdays. You’re the kind of person that when people ask you how you are doing you just say “fine”, but one day you can’t keep on with the lie and when they ask you how you are doing you wouldn’t respond……….because you’d be dead.
Mystique= Lou Role…..that made no sense, but I understood it. I want to live with Parr in a little hut on a mountaintop happily with a 30year old cat named Mr. Butters and I can’t do that if he’s dead…….well maybe if I were some kind of freak but that’s not the point! Now lets go back to that forbidden door entry and get my boyfriend!
Sylphetic= Forbidden doorway…..is that anything like a cemetery, because I have to go the bathroom.
“Mystique starts to walk away”
Azul= Quickly hitmen make a search party! We have to get her back!
Mystique= Dad I’m still here.
Azul= Thank goodness Mysty I’ve been looking for you for days…….but now that you are here I have to kill you! Hitmen attack!
“Suddenly computer pop-ups appear from nowhere and charge toward Azul’s daughter and Lou Role”
Lou Role= AHHH! Watch out Mystique that’s a free health plan pop-up! It’s deadly!
“Mystique jumps over a sex pop-up and stares down a Watch The Simpsons advert”
Advert= Eat my shorts!
Mystique= Okay!
“Mystique starts rubbing on the advert and it runs away frightened”
Lou Role= I don’t think we could make it Myst!
Azul= HITMEN STOP! Daughter, before you die I want to say something that will surprise you greatly. Those with weak hearts should leave now…………So goodbye…
“Azul runs away”
Sylphetic= Ack, he is just stalling! Pop-ups kill them!
“Lou Role manages to get behind Sylphetic and puts him in a choke hold”
Sylphetic= Don’t kill me Mr. Role. I am innocent I promise.
Mystique= Don’t believe him Lou! Get out of the way!
“Lou Role dives out of the way in slow motion and Mystique throws a small child at Sylphetic”
Sylphetic= Oh no! AHHHHHH!
“BOOOM”
*Next to the forbidden door*
Lou Role= Oh no Parr is on conscience!
Memo= I like eggs.
Lou Role= Quick Mystique SHOCK HIM!
Mystique= Gasoline prices are way up! My breasts are fake! I enjoy tap dancing at charity funds!
“Parr bursts up and is revived”
Parr= Wow, thanks guys! Now we have to get offline quick!
Lou Role= Huh. Why?
Parr= I planted a bomb by mistake onto Memo’s head and now he is going to blow in a very plot twisting way!
Mystique= Lets not leave. I have feelings! And before Memo blows to bloody jagged pieces I want him to have a soul.
Lou Role= But the door. We still don’t know how to get in it!
Mystique= Parr, have you tried the doorknob?
Parr= That’s so crazy it just might work!
“Parr quickly turns the doorknob and the door magically opens revealing a dark room where there are three perfectly identical boxes. Each one more identical than the last”
Parr= It seems that each one of these boxes are language translators for dead languages. We have to say something to them and they will open up and reveal Memo’s soul!
Lou Role= How do you know that?
Parr= Oh because by mistake I entered this door and helped Azul hide Memo’s soul in these boxes.
Mystique= Let me try something. HELLO!
Translators= Bon-jour.
Lou Role= Ick! What a true dead language.
“The boxes also magically open and Memo’s soul floats out. Mystique shoves it into her trousers”
Parr= Okay now we have to leave before Memo explodes!
“Lou disappears indicating that he went offline”
Parr= Mystique, why aren’t you going offline!
Mystique= I have to save Memo! See that window over there. I’m going to jump out of it and land conveniently land on top of a hospital! What do you have to say to that my love?
Parr= Um……do a flip!
“Parr disappears moments after and Mystique jumps out of the window with Memo in her arms. She does a double axel front flip combo(I give it a 10.0) then lands on top of a doctors head”
Doctor= AHH! My head. You broke my head!
Mystique= Doctor! Take the bomb off this man’s face!
Doctor= Miss that’s a sugar muffin……not a bomb.
Mystique=………..Well put this soul inside his body!
Doctor= Okay. I need a blood sample.
Mystique= Good thing I took this out of Memo while he was asleep.
“Mystique takes out a big jug of crimson blood”
Doctor= Uh, I only need one cell.
Mystique= Just take it!
5 months later
“Parr, Mystique, Memo, Lou Role, and Azul are in a special table in a local restaurant in the real world”
Lou Role= This special table rules. They have salt AND pepper. Amazing!
Memo= Pssst…..Azul pass this note to Mystique.
Azul= Sure.
“Azul passes a small paper reading (GUESS WHO LIKES YOU) on it to Mystique”
Mystique= That’s disgusting dad!
Azul= Heh, that wasn’t from me. Plus I remember when you use to have a crush on me when you were in diapers…..that’s right when you were 10.
Parr= Hey guys do you remember that day 5 months ago on the Internet? That was the day we got our cat Mr. Butters. And the day you got pregnant Mysty.
Mr. Butters= Meow.
Mystique= I remember what we did that night Parr.
Parr= Um….I don’t.
Mystique= Errrr.
“Mr. Butters shoves his head in his food and dirties his whole face”
Mystique= Aww. Don’t worry he will just lick it off with his tongue.
Parr= Hey wait I remember what we did that night now!
“Double-Chocolate-Chip walks up to Azul”
Double-Chocolate-Chip= Daddy, can I go out skating?
Azul= No son! You will get pregnant like your sister!
Double-Chocolate-Chip= Hey is that pepper?
Lou Role= Hahahahahaha.
Memo= Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha….
Waiter= Hey guys how’s your food?
Lou Role= It’s great sir. Thanks.
Waiter= Good because I forgot to cook it.
Memo= …hahahahahahahahahahahaha…
Parr= Okay Memo stop laughing. Breath!
“Memo collapses and dies”
Mystique= I love you guys.
“Everyone smiles and has a great time, and they live happily ever after”
THE END
Drunk
Page:
In the year 2007 a man known as Bill Gates introduced a product that people could hook up to their heads and they will be instantly transported into the Internet. People were able to walk about websites and fulfill there every desire. Bill Gates loves pie.
================================================
Febuary 15th 2008
“Memo, Mystique, Parr, and Lou Role are wondering about the internet”
Mystique= Hey Parr I’m like really hott right now. Wanna cyber?
Parr= Do you have a cyber condom with you? I don’t want to get a virus on my computer you know.
Mystique= Your lose. But can we at least go into a chatroom.
Parr= How about that one!
Mystique= Your on!
“Mystique and Parr walk into the Filthy Filthy Chatroom”
Memo= I swear those guys are really sex crazy.
Lou Role= Yea. Memo lets go into a less desperate chatroom than Mystique’s.
“Lou Role and Memo walk into the Filthy Chatroom”
Memo= Hey there are no girls in here.
Sylphetic= Hey you two! Up for a game of Poker?
Lou Role= This isn’t what I had in mind when I came in here.
Memo= Poker! I love Poker!
“Memo starts poking Lou Role in the eye”
Memo= I win!
Azul= You will do perfect for this game.
Lou Role= I’ll sit this one out.
7 minutes later
Sylphetic= I got 5 aces. What you guys get?
Azul= I got 4 fives and an instant win card.
Memo= Uh….I got three ladies, a number, and a man giving himself brain surgery. Do I win?
Azul= That means I win! Give me my winnings. Sylphetic you bet 100 pounds and Memo you bet your stupid forgotten soul. Pay up!
“Azul starts to chant a weird ritual and Memo’s spirit comes out of his body. Then he casually stuffs it in his pocket”
Memo= Uh…….me don’t know English.
Lou Role= Memo! What have you done! Hey you give that soul back!
Azul= Talk to the hand………because it’s lonely.
Lou Role= This isn’t happening!
“Mystique and Parr walk in abruptly”
Mystique= Wow Parr that chat room was like so hott…….wait a second……DAD!
Azul= Mystique! What are you doing in a place like this?
Mystique= Uh…….He kidnapped me I swear.
Parr= What!
Azul= I’ll kill you!
Parr= No sir. I didn’t kidnap her…..I only slept with her.
Azul= You what!
Lou Role= Calm down everyone. Parr this guy stole Memo’s soul!
Sylphetic= Lies! He won it in a Poker game.
Parr= Who in the world is cold enough to take a soul? And who in the world calls there daughter Mystique!
Azul= She was named after her grandmother………and her brother was named after a biscuit I once had.
Double-Chocolate Chip= I love you daddy!
Azul= Well I’m off! I am going to hide Memo’s soul in a very easy to reach place and end up being very surprised when you retrieve it like all villains in stories.
Lou Role= You cruel man!
“Azul walks off slowly”
Parr= Shouldn’t we get him?
Mystique= And end this spoof right now? Now way!
Lou Role= Okay guys. Where should we start our search first.
Parr= How about www.hidesoulhere.com?
Lou Role= Hope our Internet connection is fast.
Memo= My hair hurts.
*On a plane to www.hidesoulhere.com*
Flight Attendant Gerrid= Hello and welcome. If everyone could just fasten your seat belts by clipping the big end of the seat belt to the other smaller side of the seat belt then…….um……well if you have problems fastening your seat belt in the first place call one of our flight attendants over for they could smack you over the head with a large novelty brick for being so thick.
Mystique= I hate flights. They take to long.
“The plane lifts off the ground and almost instantly lands back on a landing pad”
Mystique= Good thing I brought that five word weight lose magazine at the airport to entertain myself during that dreadful trip.
Lou Role= What did the weight lose magazine say this month?
Mystique= Buy Next Issue for Details. Strange thing is that that was the same advice last month. Hmm.
Parr= Hey who brought the ultra high-tech locating machine we bought.
Lou Role= Oh, I did.
“Lou Role takes out a huge contraption out of his pocket”
Machine= Cold. Cold. Cold.
Mystique= We are not even close!
Parr= Let check over there.
Machine= Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Your Burning Up.
Lou Role= It must be behind this door.
Parr= I think we have to figure out a password to enter this place.
Lou Role= Open Sesa-me!
Mystique= Bikini Studs………well that was the password for another website.
Parr= I think the best thing to do would be for you two to try to find Azul while me and Memo stay here vulnerable to any attacking hitmen that your dad has hired.
Lou Role= Genius!
Mystique= Then I guess I’ll see later you funny honey bunny sonny.
“Mystique and Lou Role run off dramatically”
Lou Role= Mystique, you must really like that Parr kid huh.
Mystique= Oh Parr. Isn’t it funny that when your single all you see are couples, but when your part of a couple all you see are strippers?
Lou Role= I see.
Mystique= I see in the dark!
Lou Role= By the way….I hate your dad.
Mystique= Hmm…that was sudden.
Lou Role= I hate the way he smells the way he sounds the way he eats the way he looks in a dress while dancing the cha-cha…..Oh wait. I bet he’s right behind me, listening to everything I’m saying.
Azul= Actually I’m right in front of you.
Mystique= Eek!
Azul= I have a little deal for you guys. I’ll tell you the way of going through the forbidden door and getting your friend’s soul if Mystique marries my friend Sylphetic.
Sylphetic= Hey Mystique, I’m like completely naked under my cloths.
Mystique= Never! You will never make me. No. Never………..okay sure.
“A priest jumps out from behind a computer firewall”
Priest Bazzman= Sylphetic, do you take this woman to be your dearly online wife?
Sylphetic= I do!
Lou Role= Mystique don’t do it!
Priest Bazzman= Mystique, do you copy and paste his response till death do you part?
Mystique= I….I….
E-Mail voice= You got mail.
Mystique= Who cares!
E-mail voice= It’s not spam.
Mystique= Wow!
“Mystique takes out her small pocket book and turns on her visual-screen”
Parr= Mystique, some of your Dad’s hitmen have injured me. See I was having a martini drinking contest. I would of won but we ran out of olives then they came out of nowhere and shot me. Don’t be angry.
Mystique= How can I not be angry? Who in the world goes anywhere without in extra jar of olives. Shame on you!
Parr= Come quickly!
Mystique= Um….no….uh…
Lou Role= Mystique you have to let out your emotions! Just like I do while punching a pillow the shape of my brother on Saturdays. You’re the kind of person that when people ask you how you are doing you just say “fine”, but one day you can’t keep on with the lie and when they ask you how you are doing you wouldn’t respond……….because you’d be dead.
Mystique= Lou Role…..that made no sense, but I understood it. I want to live with Parr in a little hut on a mountaintop happily with a 30year old cat named Mr. Butters and I can’t do that if he’s dead…….well maybe if I were some kind of freak but that’s not the point! Now lets go back to that forbidden door entry and get my boyfriend!
Sylphetic= Forbidden doorway…..is that anything like a cemetery, because I have to go the bathroom.
“Mystique starts to walk away”
Azul= Quickly hitmen make a search party! We have to get her back!
Mystique= Dad I’m still here.
Azul= Thank goodness Mysty I’ve been looking for you for days…….but now that you are here I have to kill you! Hitmen attack!
“Suddenly computer pop-ups appear from nowhere and charge toward Azul’s daughter and Lou Role”
Lou Role= AHHH! Watch out Mystique that’s a free health plan pop-up! It’s deadly!
“Mystique jumps over a sex pop-up and stares down a Watch The Simpsons advert”
Advert= Eat my shorts!
Mystique= Okay!
“Mystique starts rubbing on the advert and it runs away frightened”
Lou Role= I don’t think we could make it Myst!
Azul= HITMEN STOP! Daughter, before you die I want to say something that will surprise you greatly. Those with weak hearts should leave now…………So goodbye…
“Azul runs away”
Sylphetic= Ack, he is just stalling! Pop-ups kill them!
“Lou Role manages to get behind Sylphetic and puts him in a choke hold”
Sylphetic= Don’t kill me Mr. Role. I am innocent I promise.
Mystique= Don’t believe him Lou! Get out of the way!
“Lou Role dives out of the way in slow motion and Mystique throws a small child at Sylphetic”
Sylphetic= Oh no! AHHHHHH!
“BOOOM”
*Next to the forbidden door*
Lou Role= Oh no Parr is on conscience!
Memo= I like eggs.
Lou Role= Quick Mystique SHOCK HIM!
Mystique= Gasoline prices are way up! My breasts are fake! I enjoy tap dancing at charity funds!
“Parr bursts up and is revived”
Parr= Wow, thanks guys! Now we have to get offline quick!
Lou Role= Huh. Why?
Parr= I planted a bomb by mistake onto Memo’s head and now he is going to blow in a very plot twisting way!
Mystique= Lets not leave. I have feelings! And before Memo blows to bloody jagged pieces I want him to have a soul.
Lou Role= But the door. We still don’t know how to get in it!
Mystique= Parr, have you tried the doorknob?
Parr= That’s so crazy it just might work!
“Parr quickly turns the doorknob and the door magically opens revealing a dark room where there are three perfectly identical boxes. Each one more identical than the last”
Parr= It seems that each one of these boxes are language translators for dead languages. We have to say something to them and they will open up and reveal Memo’s soul!
Lou Role= How do you know that?
Parr= Oh because by mistake I entered this door and helped Azul hide Memo’s soul in these boxes.
Mystique= Let me try something. HELLO!
Translators= Bon-jour.
Lou Role= Ick! What a true dead language.
“The boxes also magically open and Memo’s soul floats out. Mystique shoves it into her trousers”
Parr= Okay now we have to leave before Memo explodes!
“Lou disappears indicating that he went offline”
Parr= Mystique, why aren’t you going offline!
Mystique= I have to save Memo! See that window over there. I’m going to jump out of it and land conveniently land on top of a hospital! What do you have to say to that my love?
Parr= Um……do a flip!
“Parr disappears moments after and Mystique jumps out of the window with Memo in her arms. She does a double axel front flip combo(I give it a 10.0) then lands on top of a doctors head”
Doctor= AHH! My head. You broke my head!
Mystique= Doctor! Take the bomb off this man’s face!
Doctor= Miss that’s a sugar muffin……not a bomb.
Mystique=………..Well put this soul inside his body!
Doctor= Okay. I need a blood sample.
Mystique= Good thing I took this out of Memo while he was asleep.
“Mystique takes out a big jug of crimson blood”
Doctor= Uh, I only need one cell.
Mystique= Just take it!
5 months later
“Parr, Mystique, Memo, Lou Role, and Azul are in a special table in a local restaurant in the real world”
Lou Role= This special table rules. They have salt AND pepper. Amazing!
Memo= Pssst…..Azul pass this note to Mystique.
Azul= Sure.
“Azul passes a small paper reading (GUESS WHO LIKES YOU) on it to Mystique”
Mystique= That’s disgusting dad!
Azul= Heh, that wasn’t from me. Plus I remember when you use to have a crush on me when you were in diapers…..that’s right when you were 10.
Parr= Hey guys do you remember that day 5 months ago on the Internet? That was the day we got our cat Mr. Butters. And the day you got pregnant Mysty.
Mr. Butters= Meow.
Mystique= I remember what we did that night Parr.
Parr= Um….I don’t.
Mystique= Errrr.
“Mr. Butters shoves his head in his food and dirties his whole face”
Mystique= Aww. Don’t worry he will just lick it off with his tongue.
Parr= Hey wait I remember what we did that night now!
“Double-Chocolate-Chip walks up to Azul”
Double-Chocolate-Chip= Daddy, can I go out skating?
Azul= No son! You will get pregnant like your sister!
Double-Chocolate-Chip= Hey is that pepper?
Lou Role= Hahahahahaha.
Memo= Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha….
Waiter= Hey guys how’s your food?
Lou Role= It’s great sir. Thanks.
Waiter= Good because I forgot to cook it.
Memo= …hahahahahahahahahahahaha…
Parr= Okay Memo stop laughing. Breath!
“Memo collapses and dies”
Mystique= I love you guys.
“Everyone smiles and has a great time, and they live happily ever after”
THE END
Drunk
================================================
Febuary 15th 2008
“Memo, Mystique, Parr, and Lou Role are wondering about the internet”
Mystique= Hey Parr I’m like really hott right now. Wanna cyber?
Parr= Do you have a cyber condom with you? I don’t want to get a virus on my computer you know.
Mystique= Your lose. But can we at least go into a chatroom.
Parr= How about that one!
Mystique= Your on!
“Mystique and Parr walk into the Filthy Filthy Chatroom”
Memo= I swear those guys are really sex crazy.
Lou Role= Yea. Memo lets go into a less desperate chatroom than Mystique’s.
“Lou Role and Memo walk into the Filthy Chatroom”
Memo= Hey there are no girls in here.
Sylphetic= Hey you two! Up for a game of Poker?
Lou Role= This isn’t what I had in mind when I came in here.
Memo= Poker! I love Poker!
“Memo starts poking Lou Role in the eye”
Memo= I win!
Azul= You will do perfect for this game.
Lou Role= I’ll sit this one out.
7 minutes later
Sylphetic= I got 5 aces. What you guys get?
Azul= I got 4 fives and an instant win card.
Memo= Uh….I got three ladies, a number, and a man giving himself brain surgery. Do I win?
Azul= That means I win! Give me my winnings. Sylphetic you bet 100 pounds and Memo you bet your stupid forgotten soul. Pay up!
“Azul starts to chant a weird ritual and Memo’s spirit comes out of his body. Then he casually stuffs it in his pocket”
Memo= Uh…….me don’t know English.
Lou Role= Memo! What have you done! Hey you give that soul back!
Azul= Talk to the hand………because it’s lonely.
Lou Role= This isn’t happening!
“Mystique and Parr walk in abruptly”
Mystique= Wow Parr that chat room was like so hott…….wait a second……DAD!
Azul= Mystique! What are you doing in a place like this?
Mystique= Uh…….He kidnapped me I swear.
Parr= What!
Azul= I’ll kill you!
Parr= No sir. I didn’t kidnap her…..I only slept with her.
Azul= You what!
Lou Role= Calm down everyone. Parr this guy stole Memo’s soul!
Sylphetic= Lies! He won it in a Poker game.
Parr= Who in the world is cold enough to take a soul? And who in the world calls there daughter Mystique!
Azul= She was named after her grandmother………and her brother was named after a biscuit I once had.
Double-Chocolate Chip= I love you daddy!
Azul= Well I’m off! I am going to hide Memo’s soul in a very easy to reach place and end up being very surprised when you retrieve it like all villains in stories.
Lou Role= You cruel man!
“Azul walks off slowly”
Parr= Shouldn’t we get him?
Mystique= And end this spoof right now? Now way!
Lou Role= Okay guys. Where should we start our search first.
Parr= How about www.hidesoulhere.com?
Lou Role= Hope our Internet connection is fast.
Memo= My hair hurts.
*On a plane to www.hidesoulhere.com*
Flight Attendant Gerrid= Hello and welcome. If everyone could just fasten your seat belts by clipping the big end of the seat belt to the other smaller side of the seat belt then…….um……well if you have problems fastening your seat belt in the first place call one of our flight attendants over for they could smack you over the head with a large novelty brick for being so thick.
Mystique= I hate flights. They take to long.
“The plane lifts off the ground and almost instantly lands back on a landing pad”
Mystique= Good thing I brought that five word weight lose magazine at the airport to entertain myself during that dreadful trip.
Lou Role= What did the weight lose magazine say this month?
Mystique= Buy Next Issue for Details. Strange thing is that that was the same advice last month. Hmm.
Parr= Hey who brought the ultra high-tech locating machine we bought.
Lou Role= Oh, I did.
“Lou Role takes out a huge contraption out of his pocket”
Machine= Cold. Cold. Cold.
Mystique= We are not even close!
Parr= Let check over there.
Machine= Warmer. Warmer. Warmer. Your Burning Up.
Lou Role= It must be behind this door.
Parr= I think we have to figure out a password to enter this place.
Lou Role= Open Sesa-me!
Mystique= Bikini Studs………well that was the password for another website.
Parr= I think the best thing to do would be for you two to try to find Azul while me and Memo stay here vulnerable to any attacking hitmen that your dad has hired.
Lou Role= Genius!
Mystique= Then I guess I’ll see later you funny honey bunny sonny.
“Mystique and Lou Role run off dramatically”
Lou Role= Mystique, you must really like that Parr kid huh.
Mystique= Oh Parr. Isn’t it funny that when your single all you see are couples, but when your part of a couple all you see are strippers?
Lou Role= I see.
Mystique= I see in the dark!
Lou Role= By the way….I hate your dad.
Mystique= Hmm…that was sudden.
Lou Role= I hate the way he smells the way he sounds the way he eats the way he looks in a dress while dancing the cha-cha…..Oh wait. I bet he’s right behind me, listening to everything I’m saying.
Azul= Actually I’m right in front of you.
Mystique= Eek!
Azul= I have a little deal for you guys. I’ll tell you the way of going through the forbidden door and getting your friend’s soul if Mystique marries my friend Sylphetic.
Sylphetic= Hey Mystique, I’m like completely naked under my cloths.
Mystique= Never! You will never make me. No. Never………..okay sure.
“A priest jumps out from behind a computer firewall”
Priest Bazzman= Sylphetic, do you take this woman to be your dearly online wife?
Sylphetic= I do!
Lou Role= Mystique don’t do it!
Priest Bazzman= Mystique, do you copy and paste his response till death do you part?
Mystique= I….I….
E-Mail voice= You got mail.
Mystique= Who cares!
E-mail voice= It’s not spam.
Mystique= Wow!
“Mystique takes out her small pocket book and turns on her visual-screen”
Parr= Mystique, some of your Dad’s hitmen have injured me. See I was having a martini drinking contest. I would of won but we ran out of olives then they came out of nowhere and shot me. Don’t be angry.
Mystique= How can I not be angry? Who in the world goes anywhere without in extra jar of olives. Shame on you!
Parr= Come quickly!
Mystique= Um….no….uh…
Lou Role= Mystique you have to let out your emotions! Just like I do while punching a pillow the shape of my brother on Saturdays. You’re the kind of person that when people ask you how you are doing you just say “fine”, but one day you can’t keep on with the lie and when they ask you how you are doing you wouldn’t respond……….because you’d be dead.
Mystique= Lou Role…..that made no sense, but I understood it. I want to live with Parr in a little hut on a mountaintop happily with a 30year old cat named Mr. Butters and I can’t do that if he’s dead…….well maybe if I were some kind of freak but that’s not the point! Now lets go back to that forbidden door entry and get my boyfriend!
Sylphetic= Forbidden doorway…..is that anything like a cemetery, because I have to go the bathroom.
“Mystique starts to walk away”
Azul= Quickly hitmen make a search party! We have to get her back!
Mystique= Dad I’m still here.
Azul= Thank goodness Mysty I’ve been looking for you for days…….but now that you are here I have to kill you! Hitmen attack!
“Suddenly computer pop-ups appear from nowhere and charge toward Azul’s daughter and Lou Role”
Lou Role= AHHH! Watch out Mystique that’s a free health plan pop-up! It’s deadly!
“Mystique jumps over a sex pop-up and stares down a Watch The Simpsons advert”
Advert= Eat my shorts!
Mystique= Okay!
“Mystique starts rubbing on the advert and it runs away frightened”
Lou Role= I don’t think we could make it Myst!
Azul= HITMEN STOP! Daughter, before you die I want to say something that will surprise you greatly. Those with weak hearts should leave now…………So goodbye…
“Azul runs away”
Sylphetic= Ack, he is just stalling! Pop-ups kill them!
“Lou Role manages to get behind Sylphetic and puts him in a choke hold”
Sylphetic= Don’t kill me Mr. Role. I am innocent I promise.
Mystique= Don’t believe him Lou! Get out of the way!
“Lou Role dives out of the way in slow motion and Mystique throws a small child at Sylphetic”
Sylphetic= Oh no! AHHHHHH!
“BOOOM”
*Next to the forbidden door*
Lou Role= Oh no Parr is on conscience!
Memo= I like eggs.
Lou Role= Quick Mystique SHOCK HIM!
Mystique= Gasoline prices are way up! My breasts are fake! I enjoy tap dancing at charity funds!
“Parr bursts up and is revived”
Parr= Wow, thanks guys! Now we have to get offline quick!
Lou Role= Huh. Why?
Parr= I planted a bomb by mistake onto Memo’s head and now he is going to blow in a very plot twisting way!
Mystique= Lets not leave. I have feelings! And before Memo blows to bloody jagged pieces I want him to have a soul.
Lou Role= But the door. We still don’t know how to get in it!
Mystique= Parr, have you tried the doorknob?
Parr= That’s so crazy it just might work!
“Parr quickly turns the doorknob and the door magically opens revealing a dark room where there are three perfectly identical boxes. Each one more identical than the last”
Parr= It seems that each one of these boxes are language translators for dead languages. We have to say something to them and they will open up and reveal Memo’s soul!
Lou Role= How do you know that?
Parr= Oh because by mistake I entered this door and helped Azul hide Memo’s soul in these boxes.
Mystique= Let me try something. HELLO!
Translators= Bon-jour.
Lou Role= Ick! What a true dead language.
“The boxes also magically open and Memo’s soul floats out. Mystique shoves it into her trousers”
Parr= Okay now we have to leave before Memo explodes!
“Lou disappears indicating that he went offline”
Parr= Mystique, why aren’t you going offline!
Mystique= I have to save Memo! See that window over there. I’m going to jump out of it and land conveniently land on top of a hospital! What do you have to say to that my love?
Parr= Um……do a flip!
“Parr disappears moments after and Mystique jumps out of the window with Memo in her arms. She does a double axel front flip combo(I give it a 10.0) then lands on top of a doctors head”
Doctor= AHH! My head. You broke my head!
Mystique= Doctor! Take the bomb off this man’s face!
Doctor= Miss that’s a sugar muffin……not a bomb.
Mystique=………..Well put this soul inside his body!
Doctor= Okay. I need a blood sample.
Mystique= Good thing I took this out of Memo while he was asleep.
“Mystique takes out a big jug of crimson blood”
Doctor= Uh, I only need one cell.
Mystique= Just take it!
5 months later
“Parr, Mystique, Memo, Lou Role, and Azul are in a special table in a local restaurant in the real world”
Lou Role= This special table rules. They have salt AND pepper. Amazing!
Memo= Pssst…..Azul pass this note to Mystique.
Azul= Sure.
“Azul passes a small paper reading (GUESS WHO LIKES YOU) on it to Mystique”
Mystique= That’s disgusting dad!
Azul= Heh, that wasn’t from me. Plus I remember when you use to have a crush on me when you were in diapers…..that’s right when you were 10.
Parr= Hey guys do you remember that day 5 months ago on the Internet? That was the day we got our cat Mr. Butters. And the day you got pregnant Mysty.
Mr. Butters= Meow.
Mystique= I remember what we did that night Parr.
Parr= Um….I don’t.
Mystique= Errrr.
“Mr. Butters shoves his head in his food and dirties his whole face”
Mystique= Aww. Don’t worry he will just lick it off with his tongue.
Parr= Hey wait I remember what we did that night now!
“Double-Chocolate-Chip walks up to Azul”
Double-Chocolate-Chip= Daddy, can I go out skating?
Azul= No son! You will get pregnant like your sister!
Double-Chocolate-Chip= Hey is that pepper?
Lou Role= Hahahahahaha.
Memo= Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha….
Waiter= Hey guys how’s your food?
Lou Role= It’s great sir. Thanks.
Waiter= Good because I forgot to cook it.
Memo= …hahahahahahahahahahahaha…
Parr= Okay Memo stop laughing. Breath!
“Memo collapses and dies”
Mystique= I love you guys.
“Everyone smiles and has a great time, and they live happily ever after”
THE END
Drunk
More great stuff from the Drunk Munk!
Just keep them coming
:-)
Just keep them coming
:-)
Dc.
That was truly brilliant.
The humour in it was just pure class, made me laugh all the way through, even the simple jokes.
Really excellent stuff, fan-bloody-tastic.
Yey!
Oh, and Myst.....
I am your father....
Jesus!
That was truly brilliant.
The humour in it was just pure class, made me laugh all the way through, even the simple jokes.
Really excellent stuff, fan-bloody-tastic.
Yey!
Oh, and Myst.....
I am your father....
Jesus!
Oh, and DC hasn't bribed me on MSN by the way.....
Oh, but I've to say this.
"GAD winner definitely, in my opinion"
*ahem*
Can I have my money now...?
Oh, but I've to say this.
"GAD winner definitely, in my opinion"
*ahem*
Can I have my money now...?
That wasn't funny
But then, spoofs aren't funny
It's such crap humour
But then, spoofs aren't funny
It's such crap humour
DC should get a GAD. ANd he bribed me not either.
Whitestripes wrote:
> That wasn't funny
>
> But then, spoofs aren't funny
> It's such crap humour
Haha. Thank you thank you.
Hey wait. I bet you didn't even read it. Whitestipes! Fisrt you have to read it THEN you could say how bad it was.:-D
Thanks to all of abrupt replies btw.
> That wasn't funny
>
> But then, spoofs aren't funny
> It's such crap humour
Haha. Thank you thank you.
Hey wait. I bet you didn't even read it. Whitestipes! Fisrt you have to read it THEN you could say how bad it was.:-D
Thanks to all of abrupt replies btw.
I did read it
I've attended funnier funerals
I've attended funnier funerals
If you say so dude.
Very good as usual, Mr.DC. By now, I dont expect anything less.
*slaps DC* now get writing me another! *DC taps away at old tin typewriter*
*slaps DC* now get writing me another! *DC taps away at old tin typewriter*
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