The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Taken from www.unsubstantiatedpotterlies.com
Yes, you heard it here first. Harry Potter has severed relations with author JK Rowling. After long talks and many late nights, the diminutive wizard and best-selling author have parted ways on very bad terms. Each blames the other for the seperation that will jeopardize Rowling's lucrative film contract and possibly ruin her.
Rowling's agent reported in a televised press conference that Potter was unhappy with the way his character was being developed and was looking for more challenging writers to work with. Rowling herself, speaking exclusively to this reporter, said "Yes, the little man has ideas above his station. The fame has gone to his head, but he shouldn't forget that I made him who he is today. Everytime he looks in the fictional mirror in his fictional world he is going to have to remember that."
The author now plans to start work on a new character called Larry Proctor, a young wizard who is submissive and utterly dependent on the charity of others, especially his writer. However, top pundits do not see this move working out. Dominic Mohan observed "Yeah, well, you know."
Meanwhile Potter, speaking for the first time since today's shock announcement, revealed his reasons for the break up,
"Firstly I plan to lose my virginity. I mean, come on, I'm approaching 16 years old and I'm trapped in a world tailored towards the young end of the reading spectrum, for whom raunchy sex scenes and even kissing are not relevant. Rowling made her promises. She told me it would be the next book, time and time again. It's too late now, there's a time for promises and a time for action. I do have fictional hormones and I need some action."
Looking to the future, Potter was candid about career options that had arisen since his departure,
"I've had offers from a number of prominent authors. John Updike says he has a role that's perfect for me and Irvine Welsh is keen to speak to write me into a thoroughly sordid tale of drugs and prostitution as well. I'm most excited by the chance to work with Quentin Tarantino, though, as he's looking at continuing the Potter series in a more hardcore vein and he's promised to write me some bigger muscles and a more thuggish demeanour."
Children throughout the land were devasted by the news. None more so than George Bush who still hasn't finished the first book but was so so so looking forward to the next one. Unfortunately, Fred Durst was unaffected as he has never read a book. At the time of going to press David Beckham was unavailable.
Top glamour model Jordan declined to comment.
Yes, you heard it here first. Harry Potter has severed relations with author JK Rowling. After long talks and many late nights, the diminutive wizard and best-selling author have parted ways on very bad terms. Each blames the other for the seperation that will jeopardize Rowling's lucrative film contract and possibly ruin her.
Rowling's agent reported in a televised press conference that Potter was unhappy with the way his character was being developed and was looking for more challenging writers to work with. Rowling herself, speaking exclusively to this reporter, said "Yes, the little man has ideas above his station. The fame has gone to his head, but he shouldn't forget that I made him who he is today. Everytime he looks in the fictional mirror in his fictional world he is going to have to remember that."
The author now plans to start work on a new character called Larry Proctor, a young wizard who is submissive and utterly dependent on the charity of others, especially his writer. However, top pundits do not see this move working out. Dominic Mohan observed "Yeah, well, you know."
Meanwhile Potter, speaking for the first time since today's shock announcement, revealed his reasons for the break up,
"Firstly I plan to lose my virginity. I mean, come on, I'm approaching 16 years old and I'm trapped in a world tailored towards the young end of the reading spectrum, for whom raunchy sex scenes and even kissing are not relevant. Rowling made her promises. She told me it would be the next book, time and time again. It's too late now, there's a time for promises and a time for action. I do have fictional hormones and I need some action."
Looking to the future, Potter was candid about career options that had arisen since his departure,
"I've had offers from a number of prominent authors. John Updike says he has a role that's perfect for me and Irvine Welsh is keen to speak to write me into a thoroughly sordid tale of drugs and prostitution as well. I'm most excited by the chance to work with Quentin Tarantino, though, as he's looking at continuing the Potter series in a more hardcore vein and he's promised to write me some bigger muscles and a more thuggish demeanour."
Children throughout the land were devasted by the news. None more so than George Bush who still hasn't finished the first book but was so so so looking forward to the next one. Unfortunately, Fred Durst was unaffected as he has never read a book. At the time of going to press David Beckham was unavailable.
Top glamour model Jordan declined to comment.
LOL! Cheers for popping it Meka, it is indeed very funny.
Read the "Bill Gates goes to war" post, it features:
Bill Gates
Bogus X-box news
Luxembourg
the Vatican
George Bush
a Backstreet Boy
Darius from Pop Stars
AND
Fred Durst
Long may the campaign of disinformation continue!
Bill Gates
Bogus X-box news
Luxembourg
the Vatican
George Bush
a Backstreet Boy
Darius from Pop Stars
AND
Fred Durst
Long may the campaign of disinformation continue!
I'm popping this because it's one of the funniest posts I've read in ages.
It should have won GAD, in my opinion.
It should have won GAD, in my opinion.
Excellent.
More quotes from unrelated B-list celebrities in posts in the future please.
More quotes from unrelated B-list celebrities in posts in the future please.
Taken from www.unsubstantiatedpotterlies.com
Yes, you heard it here first. Harry Potter has severed relations with author JK Rowling. After long talks and many late nights, the diminutive wizard and best-selling author have parted ways on very bad terms. Each blames the other for the seperation that will jeopardize Rowling's lucrative film contract and possibly ruin her.
Rowling's agent reported in a televised press conference that Potter was unhappy with the way his character was being developed and was looking for more challenging writers to work with. Rowling herself, speaking exclusively to this reporter, said "Yes, the little man has ideas above his station. The fame has gone to his head, but he shouldn't forget that I made him who he is today. Everytime he looks in the fictional mirror in his fictional world he is going to have to remember that."
The author now plans to start work on a new character called Larry Proctor, a young wizard who is submissive and utterly dependent on the charity of others, especially his writer. However, top pundits do not see this move working out. Dominic Mohan observed "Yeah, well, you know."
Meanwhile Potter, speaking for the first time since today's shock announcement, revealed his reasons for the break up,
"Firstly I plan to lose my virginity. I mean, come on, I'm approaching 16 years old and I'm trapped in a world tailored towards the young end of the reading spectrum, for whom raunchy sex scenes and even kissing are not relevant. Rowling made her promises. She told me it would be the next book, time and time again. It's too late now, there's a time for promises and a time for action. I do have fictional hormones and I need some action."
Looking to the future, Potter was candid about career options that had arisen since his departure,
"I've had offers from a number of prominent authors. John Updike says he has a role that's perfect for me and Irvine Welsh is keen to speak to write me into a thoroughly sordid tale of drugs and prostitution as well. I'm most excited by the chance to work with Quentin Tarantino, though, as he's looking at continuing the Potter series in a more hardcore vein and he's promised to write me some bigger muscles and a more thuggish demeanour."
Children throughout the land were devasted by the news. None more so than George Bush who still hasn't finished the first book but was so so so looking forward to the next one. Unfortunately, Fred Durst was unaffected as he has never read a book. At the time of going to press David Beckham was unavailable.
Top glamour model Jordan declined to comment.
Yes, you heard it here first. Harry Potter has severed relations with author JK Rowling. After long talks and many late nights, the diminutive wizard and best-selling author have parted ways on very bad terms. Each blames the other for the seperation that will jeopardize Rowling's lucrative film contract and possibly ruin her.
Rowling's agent reported in a televised press conference that Potter was unhappy with the way his character was being developed and was looking for more challenging writers to work with. Rowling herself, speaking exclusively to this reporter, said "Yes, the little man has ideas above his station. The fame has gone to his head, but he shouldn't forget that I made him who he is today. Everytime he looks in the fictional mirror in his fictional world he is going to have to remember that."
The author now plans to start work on a new character called Larry Proctor, a young wizard who is submissive and utterly dependent on the charity of others, especially his writer. However, top pundits do not see this move working out. Dominic Mohan observed "Yeah, well, you know."
Meanwhile Potter, speaking for the first time since today's shock announcement, revealed his reasons for the break up,
"Firstly I plan to lose my virginity. I mean, come on, I'm approaching 16 years old and I'm trapped in a world tailored towards the young end of the reading spectrum, for whom raunchy sex scenes and even kissing are not relevant. Rowling made her promises. She told me it would be the next book, time and time again. It's too late now, there's a time for promises and a time for action. I do have fictional hormones and I need some action."
Looking to the future, Potter was candid about career options that had arisen since his departure,
"I've had offers from a number of prominent authors. John Updike says he has a role that's perfect for me and Irvine Welsh is keen to speak to write me into a thoroughly sordid tale of drugs and prostitution as well. I'm most excited by the chance to work with Quentin Tarantino, though, as he's looking at continuing the Potter series in a more hardcore vein and he's promised to write me some bigger muscles and a more thuggish demeanour."
Children throughout the land were devasted by the news. None more so than George Bush who still hasn't finished the first book but was so so so looking forward to the next one. Unfortunately, Fred Durst was unaffected as he has never read a book. At the time of going to press David Beckham was unavailable.
Top glamour model Jordan declined to comment.