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It was High noon in the small shanty town of Specialreservesville. The hot sun was beating down on the deserted main street, not a person in sight. Suddenly, the saloon doors swung open, and out stepped a cowboy.
He walked and stood pointlessly in the street, hands by gun holsters. Suddenly, the sound of running horses could be heard, from the other end of the small town. The cowboy stood stock still, hands twitching nervously over his gleaming guns. Suddenly, a cloud of dust appeared, racing down the street, accompanied by the hooting and howling of 10 ferocious bandits.
Quick as a flash, the cowboy drew both his guns and downed the front two raiders. Horses toppled to the ground and the following horses tripped, tossing the next 3 riders from their saddles to come sliding to a stop several yards from the cowboy. The cowboy stood still, and silent, guns cocked and ready. One of the riders groaned and sat up, only to be pumped full of hot lead. He slumped back and lay still. The next two bandits suddenly jumped up, and before the cowboy could reload, the bandits had come too close to down both with the guns.
The cowboy suddenly jumped to meet the first of the bandits, hammering a left hook into his face, toppling into the ground. The cowboy then swung round to block the pathetic blow which the other bandit had swung, then came in to meet it with a thundering kick to the nads. The bandit fell to the floor, groaning. Under the wailing, the cowboy could faintly hear the bandit saying "Its...not...my...fault...i'm...only...9". The cowboy spat and slowly walked back to the tavern.
Inside, he sat down on a stool at the bar, eyebrow twitching, guns safely back in holsters. The barman came up and offered him a drink. The cowboy took a shot of whisky, wiping his face fervently, then said to the barman "Give me something stronger". The barman stood stock still, fear emanating from his flabby face, until finally stammering,
"That's all we got sonny". The cowboy slammed his fist down onto the bar.
"I just saved these forums from yet another raid of Newbies. You ought to be grateful; if it wasn't for me this whole town would be ablaze with spam"
"I know, I know, but I can't give you any more, you need to stay sober in order to withstand the next raid"
"Give me a drink now, or I'll leave"
"I can't, I'm sorry".
The cowboy jumped up from his bar stool and stalked out of the tavern. The rest of the occupants now sat silently, staring at the barman. Suddenly a young man piped up from the back "You should have laid off, you know as well as I that we can't withstand these raids much longer"
"I know, I know, but we have to preserve what precious resources we have. We can't have him gallabanting in a drunken state around the village, who would save us then?"
Suddenly, a voice piped up from behind the throng at the back of the tavern. "I will" Said a deep voice. Out from the crowd stalked a short stumpy man, with massive mustles bursting from his shirt, 2 guns in holsters by his side and a shotgun strapped to his back. "Just give me a half pint now, and I'll keep your village from being spammed"
So the occupants agreed, and the next week word was received of a new wave of Newbies milling in a nearby town. The short and stocky hero left the town, worrying its occupants in case the raiders arrived without him there. The next day, the warrior returned with a message. "I have defeated the raiders, and word is spreading through the lands. There will be no more Newbie attacks, and your forums are safe from Spam from now on. You can refer to me as Half Pint."
A cheer went up from the crowd, and in the elections soon to come, Half Pint was elected to join the Specialreservesville council, along with the other notables (hint hint). The Evil newbies and their spam raids never returned, and Specialreservesville was safe from spam from that day forth.
OK, so that wasn't a very good, imaginative or funny story for my first try, but I'm sure you won't put me down for it. Hope you liked it :)
He walked and stood pointlessly in the street, hands by gun holsters. Suddenly, the sound of running horses could be heard, from the other end of the small town. The cowboy stood stock still, hands twitching nervously over his gleaming guns. Suddenly, a cloud of dust appeared, racing down the street, accompanied by the hooting and howling of 10 ferocious bandits.
Quick as a flash, the cowboy drew both his guns and downed the front two raiders. Horses toppled to the ground and the following horses tripped, tossing the next 3 riders from their saddles to come sliding to a stop several yards from the cowboy. The cowboy stood still, and silent, guns cocked and ready. One of the riders groaned and sat up, only to be pumped full of hot lead. He slumped back and lay still. The next two bandits suddenly jumped up, and before the cowboy could reload, the bandits had come too close to down both with the guns.
The cowboy suddenly jumped to meet the first of the bandits, hammering a left hook into his face, toppling into the ground. The cowboy then swung round to block the pathetic blow which the other bandit had swung, then came in to meet it with a thundering kick to the nads. The bandit fell to the floor, groaning. Under the wailing, the cowboy could faintly hear the bandit saying "Its...not...my...fault...i'm...only...9". The cowboy spat and slowly walked back to the tavern.
Inside, he sat down on a stool at the bar, eyebrow twitching, guns safely back in holsters. The barman came up and offered him a drink. The cowboy took a shot of whisky, wiping his face fervently, then said to the barman "Give me something stronger". The barman stood stock still, fear emanating from his flabby face, until finally stammering,
"That's all we got sonny". The cowboy slammed his fist down onto the bar.
"I just saved these forums from yet another raid of Newbies. You ought to be grateful; if it wasn't for me this whole town would be ablaze with spam"
"I know, I know, but I can't give you any more, you need to stay sober in order to withstand the next raid"
"Give me a drink now, or I'll leave"
"I can't, I'm sorry".
The cowboy jumped up from his bar stool and stalked out of the tavern. The rest of the occupants now sat silently, staring at the barman. Suddenly a young man piped up from the back "You should have laid off, you know as well as I that we can't withstand these raids much longer"
"I know, I know, but we have to preserve what precious resources we have. We can't have him gallabanting in a drunken state around the village, who would save us then?"
Suddenly, a voice piped up from behind the throng at the back of the tavern. "I will" Said a deep voice. Out from the crowd stalked a short stumpy man, with massive mustles bursting from his shirt, 2 guns in holsters by his side and a shotgun strapped to his back. "Just give me a half pint now, and I'll keep your village from being spammed"
So the occupants agreed, and the next week word was received of a new wave of Newbies milling in a nearby town. The short and stocky hero left the town, worrying its occupants in case the raiders arrived without him there. The next day, the warrior returned with a message. "I have defeated the raiders, and word is spreading through the lands. There will be no more Newbie attacks, and your forums are safe from Spam from now on. You can refer to me as Half Pint."
A cheer went up from the crowd, and in the elections soon to come, Half Pint was elected to join the Specialreservesville council, along with the other notables (hint hint). The Evil newbies and their spam raids never returned, and Specialreservesville was safe from spam from that day forth.
OK, so that wasn't a very good, imaginative or funny story for my first try, but I'm sure you won't put me down for it. Hope you liked it :)
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It was High noon in the small shanty town of Specialreservesville. The hot sun was beating down on the deserted main street, not a person in sight. Suddenly, the saloon doors swung open, and out stepped a cowboy.
He walked and stood pointlessly in the street, hands by gun holsters. Suddenly, the sound of running horses could be heard, from the other end of the small town. The cowboy stood stock still, hands twitching nervously over his gleaming guns. Suddenly, a cloud of dust appeared, racing down the street, accompanied by the hooting and howling of 10 ferocious bandits.
Quick as a flash, the cowboy drew both his guns and downed the front two raiders. Horses toppled to the ground and the following horses tripped, tossing the next 3 riders from their saddles to come sliding to a stop several yards from the cowboy. The cowboy stood still, and silent, guns cocked and ready. One of the riders groaned and sat up, only to be pumped full of hot lead. He slumped back and lay still. The next two bandits suddenly jumped up, and before the cowboy could reload, the bandits had come too close to down both with the guns.
The cowboy suddenly jumped to meet the first of the bandits, hammering a left hook into his face, toppling into the ground. The cowboy then swung round to block the pathetic blow which the other bandit had swung, then came in to meet it with a thundering kick to the nads. The bandit fell to the floor, groaning. Under the wailing, the cowboy could faintly hear the bandit saying "Its...not...my...fault...i'm...only...9". The cowboy spat and slowly walked back to the tavern.
Inside, he sat down on a stool at the bar, eyebrow twitching, guns safely back in holsters. The barman came up and offered him a drink. The cowboy took a shot of whisky, wiping his face fervently, then said to the barman "Give me something stronger". The barman stood stock still, fear emanating from his flabby face, until finally stammering,
"That's all we got sonny". The cowboy slammed his fist down onto the bar.
"I just saved these forums from yet another raid of Newbies. You ought to be grateful; if it wasn't for me this whole town would be ablaze with spam"
"I know, I know, but I can't give you any more, you need to stay sober in order to withstand the next raid"
"Give me a drink now, or I'll leave"
"I can't, I'm sorry".
The cowboy jumped up from his bar stool and stalked out of the tavern. The rest of the occupants now sat silently, staring at the barman. Suddenly a young man piped up from the back "You should have laid off, you know as well as I that we can't withstand these raids much longer"
"I know, I know, but we have to preserve what precious resources we have. We can't have him gallabanting in a drunken state around the village, who would save us then?"
Suddenly, a voice piped up from behind the throng at the back of the tavern. "I will" Said a deep voice. Out from the crowd stalked a short stumpy man, with massive mustles bursting from his shirt, 2 guns in holsters by his side and a shotgun strapped to his back. "Just give me a half pint now, and I'll keep your village from being spammed"
So the occupants agreed, and the next week word was received of a new wave of Newbies milling in a nearby town. The short and stocky hero left the town, worrying its occupants in case the raiders arrived without him there. The next day, the warrior returned with a message. "I have defeated the raiders, and word is spreading through the lands. There will be no more Newbie attacks, and your forums are safe from Spam from now on. You can refer to me as Half Pint."
A cheer went up from the crowd, and in the elections soon to come, Half Pint was elected to join the Specialreservesville council, along with the other notables (hint hint). The Evil newbies and their spam raids never returned, and Specialreservesville was safe from spam from that day forth.
OK, so that wasn't a very good, imaginative or funny story for my first try, but I'm sure you won't put me down for it. Hope you liked it :)
He walked and stood pointlessly in the street, hands by gun holsters. Suddenly, the sound of running horses could be heard, from the other end of the small town. The cowboy stood stock still, hands twitching nervously over his gleaming guns. Suddenly, a cloud of dust appeared, racing down the street, accompanied by the hooting and howling of 10 ferocious bandits.
Quick as a flash, the cowboy drew both his guns and downed the front two raiders. Horses toppled to the ground and the following horses tripped, tossing the next 3 riders from their saddles to come sliding to a stop several yards from the cowboy. The cowboy stood still, and silent, guns cocked and ready. One of the riders groaned and sat up, only to be pumped full of hot lead. He slumped back and lay still. The next two bandits suddenly jumped up, and before the cowboy could reload, the bandits had come too close to down both with the guns.
The cowboy suddenly jumped to meet the first of the bandits, hammering a left hook into his face, toppling into the ground. The cowboy then swung round to block the pathetic blow which the other bandit had swung, then came in to meet it with a thundering kick to the nads. The bandit fell to the floor, groaning. Under the wailing, the cowboy could faintly hear the bandit saying "Its...not...my...fault...i'm...only...9". The cowboy spat and slowly walked back to the tavern.
Inside, he sat down on a stool at the bar, eyebrow twitching, guns safely back in holsters. The barman came up and offered him a drink. The cowboy took a shot of whisky, wiping his face fervently, then said to the barman "Give me something stronger". The barman stood stock still, fear emanating from his flabby face, until finally stammering,
"That's all we got sonny". The cowboy slammed his fist down onto the bar.
"I just saved these forums from yet another raid of Newbies. You ought to be grateful; if it wasn't for me this whole town would be ablaze with spam"
"I know, I know, but I can't give you any more, you need to stay sober in order to withstand the next raid"
"Give me a drink now, or I'll leave"
"I can't, I'm sorry".
The cowboy jumped up from his bar stool and stalked out of the tavern. The rest of the occupants now sat silently, staring at the barman. Suddenly a young man piped up from the back "You should have laid off, you know as well as I that we can't withstand these raids much longer"
"I know, I know, but we have to preserve what precious resources we have. We can't have him gallabanting in a drunken state around the village, who would save us then?"
Suddenly, a voice piped up from behind the throng at the back of the tavern. "I will" Said a deep voice. Out from the crowd stalked a short stumpy man, with massive mustles bursting from his shirt, 2 guns in holsters by his side and a shotgun strapped to his back. "Just give me a half pint now, and I'll keep your village from being spammed"
So the occupants agreed, and the next week word was received of a new wave of Newbies milling in a nearby town. The short and stocky hero left the town, worrying its occupants in case the raiders arrived without him there. The next day, the warrior returned with a message. "I have defeated the raiders, and word is spreading through the lands. There will be no more Newbie attacks, and your forums are safe from Spam from now on. You can refer to me as Half Pint."
A cheer went up from the crowd, and in the elections soon to come, Half Pint was elected to join the Specialreservesville council, along with the other notables (hint hint). The Evil newbies and their spam raids never returned, and Specialreservesville was safe from spam from that day forth.
OK, so that wasn't a very good, imaginative or funny story for my first try, but I'm sure you won't put me down for it. Hope you liked it :)